All Comments on 'Weekend Excrsion'

You told it well. The story flowed nicely. Interesting people, good settings.

Great sex.

Thanks Don

Hi everyone, may I have a U please??? Sorry about the title spelling. An editor can't fix stupid...lol. That's on me completely.

I hope you still read and enjoy.

BUT when you introduce "four hands" into the session with Amanda, you point us toward a threesome with the twins, which doesn't occur here. The seduction by Ruby IS hot, but I think you let your story line stray and lose clarity.

Anonymous, you are 100% right. I really want to write a threesome for Joe and Ruby. Maybe I shouldn't have put it in at all until then. Since it was a weekend, and it ended with Joe falling asleep, I hoped I was leaving a nice enough opening into another story if there was intrest in this one. I almost did take it out. But, hopefully there is more to come for Joe.

A good start, but it seems very sparse with physical descriptions. For example, I know Angela and Amanda are twins, but I have no idea what exactly they look like. What's their eye color? Hair color? Do they have the same length of hair, or is one shorter and the other longer? Do they have fair skin, tans or freckles? Visual details like these are key to making the characters and story more immersive for the readers.