All Comments on 'What You Wish For Pt. 06'

Three of my favorite authors loved it and that makes me think my conclusion, that it was outstanding, is indeed valid.

I think you accomplished what you set out to do. I found Susan to be the most sympathetic figure in this story. In truth, I hoped that they would end up together, but I was not disappointed that he wound up with Marisa. I also thought you ended it right where you should have.

The fact that your stories generate so many comments, kind of puts you in a special league; (not unlike DQS1). We appreciate what you do for this site.

Three things??? What three things and can I get my wife to do them??? More questions but the heart wants what the heart wants...great story

5 sars

thank you.

I wish I could write like you and I would like to meet the characters you have created.

'nuff sed!

Really enjoyable story. Nice Cinderella twist at the end. Also the day by day release of the chapters was appreciated. Reader frustration of long spells between chapters and unfinished stories in this catagory is rampant! Looking forward to the your next story

When one writes a story, fantasy land can be right around the corner. Just look at the number of comments wishing for Tyler to have both Marisa and Susan! Every guy's wet dream, mine included -- doing it with two women at the same time, with both also caring about each other! I think that's actually ironic, considering this is the Loving Wives section, where many stories involve a woman having more than one man! I'm not sure that very many women fantasize about MFM threesomes, though (most LW stories are written by men, so we don't really know women's fantasies that well).

I think Marisa and Tyler will have a 50% chance for a successful marriage, at best. Marisa is seriously in need of therapy. She has issues that savior Tyler won't be able to fix. Issues with her self-confidence, issues with trust, issues with her counter-culture. I previously asked if anyone would trust her to raise a child . . . well, if we only knew those three things she wants to try with her soon-to-be husband Tyler, we might find she wants to tie him up. I'm not sure I would trust her in that role, not yet, anyway.

What is going to happen, as someone else commented, when Tyler does something Marisa dislikes? Will she run off to Florida again to live with Susan, and not talk with him? Will she dress as a werewolf? Will she find Clint Eastwood's nephew to be more attractive than Tyler? Will she decompensate into depression, or worse? Very bright people are more prone to depression and other mental illness -- they think too deeply about things at times.

Does Tyler really need another tragic relationship at this stage of his life? I think he needs stability and a marriage that will work this time around, but of course I'm not the author and it is not my choice. Still, quickie marriages fail much more often than marriages resulting from dating and knowing the partner for an extended period of time. In other words, I was rooting for Susan and am disappointed Tyler is with Marisa. Very good story even though I wished for a different plot. Thanks for writing.

I just wish I could find a fantasy ex-wife who was so contrite, accepting of blame and willing to make amends. All my current ex's tend to be rather pithy, and belligerent, one of them even had the gall to accuse me! zed0! Of putting her off of men and marriage for the rest of her life! AND the replacement ex was not a defensively shy, insecure, young, drop dead gorgeous, brilliant PhD candidate. In fact she was quite the opposite, which I'm sure; is why I didn't live happily ever after. Ah well must be nice to have money and a big dick, makes for a hell of a great read, and creates a fantasy world in which I would want to live.

I hope you've finally sated--I'M #110!

tom anon

This is a serious piece of work - well done. I've just read a lot of the comments, and amongst the well deserved praise there is some really constructive, thoughtful and helpful criticism. You are held in high regard by readers who care so much. Others have certainly said everything I wanted to say, so simply thank you for a great read over 5 days.

o you glorious bastard. if you stop writing now, we are all gonna find you and torture you to write more. you are getting very good at writing stories whatever you do don't quit for the next 40 or so years. my grandchildren need to become acquainted with your work and as they are still in the process of growing up you have a big job on your hands. keep going and let the whole planet become acquainted with your good stories.

ron

Regarding the "power dynamics" between Tyler and Kristin. I don't really see how it applies. Between Tyler and Marisa, yes, I see it. If he had told her he'd simply skip that night to go after her, instead of forcing her to be there, it would've been better, IMO, so yes he did force her to be there.

But between Tyler and Kristin, I don't see how he had any "power" over her, and how he "imposed his will on her". It seems to me that Kristin was the one calling the shots in the household, until she left. When and how did Tyler force his will on Kristin? Could you give any examples?

When Kristin said Tyler had the power to crush her, that was after the divorce, and after he discovered he had a son. It was in an entirely different context. Not that of a married couple, but of a divorced couple where the ex has the power to gain custody of the child. That's power dynamics between two divorcees.

As far as I can see, you're painting Tyler off as a dominating tyrant when he was married to Kristin.

I just want to know how you came to the point of view of this power dynamics thing where Tyler has all the power.

I've been a reader on the site for quite some time but have never commented. In fact, before today have never even had an account but this story, in part its content but also the fact that it was quickly and consistently delivered, all prompted me to take the plunge to create an account and drop you a comment.

I really enjoyed your story. I think I've read all your work and as much as I enjoyed B&G, this one was even better. It was a little sappy and maybe sometimes a touch predictable, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

One of the things you specifically mentioned was the female character development so I'll give you a few thoughts specifically on that...

1. The character development of Kristen was fantastic. It felt real to me. It wasn't a dramatic change that happened overnight; it was a personal growth that happened to her over probably what was probably 12-24 months in the story. The time that the growth took along with the demonstration of growth in her life - she didn't just talk the talk but she was attempting to walk the walk by getting the job and not pushing for child support, etc. I also found by the end that I found somewhat sympathetic for her. I think had I been Tyler, I would have been open to reconcilliation. At least more with her than with Marissa (more on that in a moment!).

2. I very much appreciated the conversation with Tyler and his mother at the end. It was just almost too much too soon. It was obvious there was a lot of love and respect between Tyler and both his parents, something I can both relate to and appreciate, but his mom kind of came back from the stroke almost too quickly to play the wise one giving sage advise almost out of nowhere. You're trying to keep the story like a swimsuite - short enough to be interesting and long enough to cover the subject - I get that so don't take this as criticism. I'm just sharing my thoughts.

3. Like you, I've noticed everyone else pining for Susan. On one hand it's a little surprising because I wouldn't have been. Like you shared in your comments, he met her through the wrong channels and there wasn't enough development in her character to show she was ready for something real and serious. I think she resonated with a lot of people because she was a dream... an intelligent, educated, sexual goddess. Of course most men would want to end up with her!

4. Marisa was a great character. I loved the diversity that she brought to the story. Whereas a lot of the other characters were more "normal / professional" it was like she came from a totally different perspective and I appreciated that. On one hand I think it's great that Tyler ended up with her and they had some sort of an obviously connection, both from a literary standpoint as well as from a chemistry standpoint, her development didn't come as easy for me to follow as Kristen's did. And maybe that's part of that point - that Tyler never cared whether she "changed" or not, I find it difficult to believe that they would have been able to maintain any serious long term relationship if she had not. So I like that she changed, that development seemed to happen a little too quickly for me, had I been Tyler, to find believable. That's kind of the question I asked myself at the end of the story - if I was Tyler, faced with a choice between Marisa and Kristen, who would I have chosen. I do believe for a long time there would have been a lingering doubt with Kristen that would have never been there with Marisa, but I think everything else I evaluated fell out in Kristen's favor. She's the mother of my child, she's demonstrated real change over a course of 12-24 months, and while yeah, had Randy not left her she may not be interested in me, I wouldn't have wanted to try to steal her from Randy, her interest and desire in me came with the realization of her mistake which came before Randy leaving. And when you weigh all of that vs. what is hopefully a real change in Marisa, I think I would have been inclinded to get back together with Kristen. Anyway - don't take that as a negative, that's part of what I enjoyed about the story. I was never quite sure which woman he would he would chose and that his choice was different than mine just gave me a different perspective.

5. Last point on the female characters - I would have liked to have seen more of the relationship between Kristen and Allie developed. It was obvious they were close in some respects and shared many intimate details. In other respects that didn't stop Allie from bedding Tyler. So how close were they really and/or what sort of competitive relationship existed between the two? You mentioned in one of your comments that they would be appearing in a future story, so perhaps some of that will be covered there.

Again, I thoroughly enjoyed the work and look forward to reading your next posting. Thanks for such great work!

I enjoyed that Kristin is rehabilitated. She seems to be a much better person, just not for him. Sometimes things are broken too badly to put back together. Tyler and Kristin could have gotten married again but they would never have a fully loving relationship because too much crap had happened. <br><br>

The results with Marisa were mixed in my mind. She hooked up with his friends and had a good time. The relationship seems to be growing well. Then, wham, she is running. Certainly she is nervous. We don't know the details of her past but we know she is wounded and defensive. But the path they are on seems to be good and then she makes a U turn. It needed better development to work. As it was it seemed like a plot device to keep the tension up for the chapter. It is more noticeable because your writing has been so organic. This was an artificial construct. It all worked out OK. I have a mixed mind about her not showing up in Goth at the party. Is the Goth attire a defense and therefore no longer needed OR is she really a Goth at heart and she gives up part of herself which he never expects her to do. The first possibility feels right but the second is not as comfortable. We really don't get too much clarity except that she wanted it to be about him. We don't get HER feelings about it. <br><br>

A very strong submission and I am sorry it is over.

I think these six parts were very well written and sure kept my interest..

I can see where it could become a series but would be harder to hold the interest and you would have to devolop some new characters to add to the growing family..

I'm glad to see I guessed right about Marisa finally winding up with Tyler. Great ending. Thanks.

For all of the people who wanted Tyler to reconcile with Kristen, Tyler pretty much explained in full why that was never going to happen in the scene with his mother. And that was pretty much obvious to me a couple of installments before then. Like I said in my last comment, what seems to set Tyler off is being less than forthright with him. Allie did it, Kristen did it in spades. Pretty much guaranteed that Tyler wouldn't want them.

I think you've demonstrated that you can write about women who have more depth. So write us something new now.

"Regarding the "power dynamics" between Tyler and Kristin. I don't really see how it applies. Between Tyler and Marisa, yes, I see it. If he had told her he'd simply skip that night to go after her, instead of forcing her to be there, it would've been better, IMO, so yes he did force her to be there... When and how did Tyler force his will on Kristin? Could you give any examples?"

The examples that I look to are the ones you mentioned when they had divorced, but also before the divorce, with the settlement that Tyler got. I don't blame him for his choices--he was angry and hurt. But when the love is either gone or subdued, we see Tyler in ruthless mode. My point is that we see this behaviour when he is with someone he was in (and now barely out of) partnership with. I agree with you that the context is different, and again, I fully appreciate why Tyler feels like that. But, it is all hard-ball. The suit is delivered to produce maximum pain and public exposure for the other couple. He could have handled that differently. He didn't. I think it was telling that K is AFRAID of him when he gets into his "pissed off" mode. K's reactions tell us something about Tyler (she did know him since they were very young), no matter whether or not you agree with his approach. What I suspect is that if things get difficult, that either the ruthlessness and/or the distancing will come back. This was the reason why I emphasized the issue about behaviour in the presence of or absence of love.

"As far as I can see, you're painting Tyler off as a dominating tyrant when he was married to Kristin."

I am sorry, my intent wasn't to paint Tyler as a dominating tyrant. Rather, my aim is to show that there is a side of Tyler that Marisa discounts at her potential cost. And he has shown this side, in telling moments. I was even willing to cut him some slack on the "turn up or else" ultimatum, but I can understand why you are a little disquieted by this move as well. He likes control in his relationships, and if he doesn't have it, he can become a tad unpredictable (I can appreciate this, most of us want to feel in control, in relationships! :)). Perhaps if their relationship goes south, he will behave rationally towards Marisa, especially if she is very careful about the manner in which she disengages from Tyler (not to brutally hurt his pride in the manner that K did, but focus on a clean and honourable break).

Finally, I don't think that Tyler has all the power. I just think that he has an asymmetric amount of it. . With time, this might change economically, as Marisa becomes a successful author in her own right, but I can't help but think that Tyler's ability to cut himself off from situations and relationships around him is something that a sensitive soul like Marisa might have real issues coping with, emotionally. In any case, maybe Tyler will rise to the challenge. Not my call.

I hope that helps some. And thank you for your thoughtful questions.

There's a new Sherrif in town and his name is Rehnquist!!

The "ruthless mode" you mention seems to me like something out of anger and pain, than something that's inherent in Tyler's behavior. He's confused, then incredibly hurt by Kristin's betrayal, and it's only natural to want to lash out against her, which he does with Kristin and that cop.

If you were cheated on by your spouse, who now lives with the lover, wouldn't you want to scream to everybody what they did to you? It's not typical, everyday behavior.

Kristin has every reason to be afraid of him, but not in the way you say it. He's threatening to expose her for what she is to people, she's not afraid he'll beat her up or kill her. It's the backlash that he can inflict that she fears.

"K's reactions tell us something about Tyler (she did know him since they were very young), no matter whether or not you agree with his approach."

This very much insinuates that Tyler has an anger management problem, and that he gets very dangerous to be around when things don't go his way, ever since he was little. Where do you get that from? Where does it say that in the story? There's utterly no evidence for any of this. If Kristin really was afraid of him, why did she want him to be home more?

"He likes control in his relationships, and if he doesn't have it, he can become a tad unpredictable"

Hmmm.....In what way does Tyler want control in his relationships, and more specifically, during his marriage to Kristin? Again, that comes over as Tyler being a dominating tyrant. It's not said anywhere that he checked up on Kristin, or didn't want her to have male friends, or wanted her to stay home all the time, or anything of the like.

It's Kristin who seemed to be the one in control of everything. She seemed to be calling all the shots, until she abruptly left Tyler. I'm rehashing things, but it's TYLER who wanted to try and solve the Money Vs Attention problem, and Kristin did....nothing.

Kristin wants Tyler to be home more. Tyler does not refuse that, BUT responds that means cutting back on working hours, meaning less money. Kristin doesn't want that. That's an impossibility right there, short of winning the lottery, robbing a bank, or asking his boss for a 50% raise while cutting back on working hours.

So instead, Tyler offers another solution, Kristin working. That means he can cut back on his working hours, AND she'd have the same amount of money to spend. Again, Kristin refuses that solution. "I don't wanna work."

Kristin herself doesn't offer any solution, and shoots down anything Tyler says.

Kristin doesn't want to compromise on ANYthing. She wants to eat her cake and have it. And when it's pointed out by Tyler that that's impossible (by way of "more time with you = less money), she cheats on him, and then deserts him.

If you were in Tyler's shoes, what in heavens name would YOU do? In a "what if" situation, where you are allowed to rewrite that part so that Kristin would be happy, what would you offer as a realistic solution?

To go back to the topic, I don't see anywhere in Tyler's marriage to Kristin that he's trying to control everything in the relationship. It's more the reverse.

My main disagreement with your assessment of Tyler is that you attribute behaviors and problems to him that are not there in the story itself. You're trying to put Tyler in a worse light (dominating tyrant, controlfreak and potential wifebeater), and Kristin in a better light (longsuffering, scared wife whose husband who prefers work over her) than they are in the story.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I will say at the outset, that you are right about me making inferences. I agree that these may or may not be warranted. I am not at all sure that Tyler has an anger management problem, per se (and I don't see him as a wife-beater). I just found K's reaction interesting, and wondered about that. I also grant that Tyler has cause for being upset. But that doesn't excuse/condone his actions post marriage. He still has choices in how to handle things, and he decides to handle them a particular way (in a fashion that many might approve of, by the way).

What I do think is that Tyler is reasonably unaware of what it is that he feels. It is clear that in some of his exchanges with K that he is angry, yet when confronted with that fact, he says: No I am not. I don't buy it for exactly the analysis you offered in your reply--he has been deeply hurt, and being angry is a NATURAL REACTION.

""You've changed so much."

"You ripped out my heart and stomped that sucker flat, Kristin. What did you expect? Gratitude?"

"Not all this anger," she said.

"I'm not angry," I said. "I just think you're playing games with me. Games I don't have the time or the heart to play.""

That is someone who is pretty un-self-aware, in my interpretation.

As for K and Tyler's communications, I will stick with my view of this--they don't communicate well in the first chapter (they are much better in the latter chapters). We have no idea as to K's motivations because the person through whose eyes we are seeing this story, has no idea as to K's motivations about work-money-absence. Why does K not want to work? I don't know, and we have precious little to go on, as far as I can tell. So, what would I do? I would sit down and lay it all out on the table, and ask my wife why she doesn't want to work, and how we can square the circle in this world she has constructed. Ask her to come up with a solution she can live with. And if necessary, find a neutral third party to help direct the conversation. What would you do, Mousse9? Or do you feel you have enough to go on?

By the way, this self-unawareness is also demonstrated when Tyler doesn't want to consciously admit that he is in love with Marisa. So, this fits the pattern I discern, as well, or so I think (!:)).

As for unpredictability, I can't point to anything in his relationship with K, but I point to his high risk gambit, chapter six, with Marisa. One might argue that letting her work it out, declaring his love for her, and being PATIENT might be a possibility. I know mum said--"let her know how you feel" but I don't think she had what he finally decided to do in mind. I mean, Susan and Marisa are sisters. It is not like she is going to be able to drop completely out of sight. He can afford to be a little more patient. But it makes for an exciting story finish! So, I like it for that, but I also think it hints at aspects of Tyler's personality. I grant I could be completely wrong about that!

You could be right about control issues in K and Tyler's relationship during the marriage. It may well be that there is a different dynamic in play in this new relationship, given the differences that Marisa and Tyler have, emotionally and financially. One question for you: What do you make of Tyler's reaction to his wife just up and leaving for weeks at a time. I think that is strange, and doesn't fit within the framework of a caring relationship, though Tyler only recognizes this in hindsight. He is emotionally withdrawing from his wife (as she is from him). What are your thought?

I hope that helps some.

One thing I think Tyler handled badly (or that at least could've been better) is giving Marisa an ultimatum. "Be there or I won't be there either."

Much better would've been for him to go after HER (showing Marisa that she's more important), instead of just not showing up.

I'm pretty undecided on the anger post-divorce thing. Not admitting that he is angry when he is, could also simply be not wanting to say it, instead of being unaware. But that's splitting hairs.

The solution thing, that's probably what I would've done as well. Literally forcing the issue, and demanding an explanation for Kristin not wanting to work, or forcing her to come up with a solution herself. These things are never asked/demanded in the story however. If such a discussion had happened, the outcome of the story would've been very different. The talk Tyler DID have with Kristin highlights the fact that Kristin is a spoiled brat type of girl. She sees a problem and wants Tyler to fix it, without offering help or a solution herself, nor does she want to compromise.

About the control issue thing, it didn't come up in my mind at all when I read this story. Usually in these stories this amounts to checking phonecalls, not wanting the spouse to hang out with the opposite sex, immense jealousy, etc etc. There's none of that stuff in this story, so when you said control issues and power dynamics, I just went "Huh? What?". I'm still wondering where in the story (pre-divorce) Tyler "forced his will on her".

If Tyler really WAS a dangerous controlfreak, that would've showed up in his talk with Kristin. He doesn't demand ANYTHING. Instead, he just asks what she wants, he offers solutions which she all shoots down. No demands, no forcing the issue. He pretty much rolls over and dies. Doesn't sound like a controlfreak with anger management issues to me.

Tyler's reaction at Kristin leaving for weeks at a time...You mean he doesn't show much irritation or anything at her not being there all the time, implying that he doesn't care?

Well, he does know she's unhappy about him having to work so much, wouldn't this be a way for him to "make it up to her"? Letting her do what she wants, so she's not alone all the time because she's spending it with family? Unfortunately for him, it wasn't JUST family she was spending time with.

This is not an example of Tyler not caring that she's gone all the time, but more an example of Tyler trying to let her do what she wants to be happy (which backfired completely for him).

I am in awe of the thought processes evident in your writing, your insight into the thinking of both men and women. You created women who did a few stupid things and were smart enough to stop being stupid, think and make good moves to right the wrongs and not compound their mistakes.

"Thank You."

R,

You did it! I pictured each potential heroine to Tyler as you created them, described them and gave us their chances of winning him.

The favorite authors of Lit. have their own style of irony, conflict and twist of fate and The Jury having decided. The Judges ruling is in favor of readers on Lit. That the author, Rehnquist is to be enjoyed as a "Truly Great Favorite."

Thanks very much for sharing on Lit.

x

Thanks again for your thoughts. I have to say that you argue convincingly about the control issues in K and Tyler's relationship--I don't have enough evidence to support my claim. Just a nagging feeling! At the risk of moving the goal posts, I will stick with the inferences that I get about Tyler wanting more control in his current relationship with Marisa, given his behaviours when with her. It would fit within the profile of a man who was traumatized by the failure of his first marriage (again an inference).

As for: "Well, he does know she's unhappy about him having to work so much, wouldn't this be a way for him to "make it up to her"? Letting her do what she wants, so she's not alone all the time because she's spending it with family?"

I could agree with this interpretation except that things didn't get better the first time he did this. "My attempts to get more detail, or to even try warming her up to me, were brushed off with vague answers and hollow professions of her love. I'd known it at the time, but was afraid to admit that my marriage may be crashing and burning.

When I offered to take some time and fly up to see her and our families, she just ignored me, so I didn't.

I was treated to the same cold shoulder the next time she flew home about five months later, too.

Ten months after Kristin's first trip home, I returned from a small jaunt to Minneapolis."

The silence about home life between & after the two trips is deafening. I think that if he was more present in his relationship, he would have done more about it then he did (which was nothing...).

Sorry, I really did enjoy reading the story and do believe you deserve a high rating and the feedback you requested.

However, as I strive to made a thoughtful comment I start to get pissed off and rant. The more I think about the characters the more I dislike them.

You were perhaps successful in fleshing you characters, but I still found them to be shallow and emotionally stunted. Perhaps that's how most people are, but I find that depressing (I am a romantic).

Projecting these characters forward I see little chance of happiness without a lot of growth and maturity taking place (Kristin has a good head start, Susan also with someone other than Tyler). Sure enjoyed this story before I started thinking about it.

The title is tongue in cheek, of course, It's a great story and I love the fantasy element of the best selling author's life. Dining with King and Eastwood and banging the hottest Goth chick around. Does it get any better? Actually, I think from a selfish standpoint it's the part I liked best about the story.

I did like the story, which mixes authorial best selling fantasy with the staple of a guy crushed by his wife's betrayal. That's the template of all good Loving Wives stories, or at least so it seems to me, and you gave readers their money's worth. What makes this story a lot different from many on this site is that, as many have noted, there aren't many bad guys, if any, in the story. Even Kristin is not that terrible, just spoiled and selfish and stupid in her choices.

As to the choice Tyler makes, as you know I tend to be a love never dies kind of guy, but your decision to pair him with Marissa is okay. Like a lot of readers, I was rooting for it to be him and Susan. Not sure why because the connection between the two of them was fairly short lived, but I just thought they made a good couple. still, Marissa is a good choice. She came out of left field and the romance element as Tyler fell head over heels in love again, was a good one. She's not the typical romantic choice.

I don't need to lay it on too thick because you know that I like your writing. A very good job and it's good that you're getting the recognition you deserve.

dsq1

ps. I've mentioned this before, but one thing I do envy is your ability to write knowingly and convincingly about areas of life I'd have to research and am not sure I'd be able to get away with portraying. The literary life and before that the music scene are two prime examples. I know the law, education and journalism, which is probably why most of my stories will stay in that area.

Looking forward to your next.

I just finished Chapter 6 and thoroughly enjoyed the series. I liked the happy ending. I gave you 5's all the way on this one. I'll definitely be trying your other stories.

Well, for the most part, what you mentioned does not seem like Tyler being aloof and uncaring, but more a failure to get through to Kristin. How can they work on their relationship if Kristin doesn't want to?

There's nothing to indicate that he did nothing inbetween those trips, only that he failed.

If it were the reverse, if Kristin tried this and Tyler kept ignoring or avoiding her, THEN he'd be aloof and uncaring.

Where is Kristin's part in this? Why isn't she making an effort? It goes both ways.

And....you should already know the answer to the question you asked. The topic was that you stated that Tyler was uncaring towards Kristin, and mentioned that he tried a few times to communicate with her over several months, and failing because she keeps brushing him off. THAT is an indication that he's uncaring towards her?

It's exactly the reverse.

.............I like a good discussion as much as everybody else, but I get the feeling you're setting me up here with all these statements about Tyler, to keep me posting.

Kristin did offer Tyler an alternative to being home more. PREGNANCY. If she couldn't have him she wanted a baby. Tyler did not want to be an absentee father. That is Tyler not thinking of his wife and thinking of himself. He did not try and see her point of view. Tyler had his view of what life was supposed to be too, it was not realistic. As I have said before, how many times does your wife have to say something before you think that shes serious? The conversation that people refer to was not a conversation, it devolved into a fight. Look at the tones that were used. It might not say so in the story, but thats common sense. It happened over and over with each side getting more rigid. Kristin was fed up, she listened to the wrong people and left. Tyler was stupid enough to believe that it would fix what was wrong with her.

I went through the same thing with my wife. We had been married four years at that point. She said that she wanted a baby four times in as many months. I was not ready either. The fourth time I gave in, I knew that my life would turn to shit if I did not listen. I could tell by the look in her eyes. I also knew that it would make her very happy. It is not rocket science, it's common sense. Tyler had no common sense when it involved a woman that he had been married to for twelve years. That is his fault and his alone. His wife felt ignored and a few other things and acted badly. Tyler is what my associates would call a one way motherfucker.

Wouldn't that be more of a copout instead of actually fixing the situation? Granted, Kristin would not be lonely anymore, but I can see it compound the problem, instead of fixing it. Having a baby would not miraculously make them communicate better. And if Kristin says she misses him, how much more would she miss him if she has to take care of the baby as well? Going from bored out of her mind to suddenly crazy busy with a baby would stress her out completely.

If Tyler is at work as much as he is implied to be in the story (absentee father anyone?), Kristin would resent him even more for being away, and not being there together with her for the baby.

"Dangit, I can't even go to the toilet anymore, let alone go groceryshopping! Where the heck is Tyler?!"

Babies aren't cures to marital problems.

I know it is idealistic, but wouldn't it be better if a baby was wanted by BOTH parents?

"Yeah kiddo, I wasn't ready to have kids but your mom bullied me into it, so here you are!"

That's what my associates call unwanted children.

Now he is divorced with no unwanted children. Life is not simple.

".............I like a good discussion as much as everybody else, but I get the feeling you're setting me up here with all these statements about Tyler, to keep me posting."

On that note, I bow out of the discussion. Cheers. :)

To RHinSC: True, life isn't simple. And was that sarcasm?

To onlythelonelylove: If I came over harsh, I guess I should explain. I've had a lot of "discussions" with size14shoe about DQS1's When We Were Married, only to come to the conclusion (and I have to say a lot of others agree with me), that he/she was trolling, and posting "statements" about WWWM that would incite responses from other readers.

Later on, on another completely unrelated forum I had a "discussion" with another poster, who kept posting things that were pretty much the opposite of what happened in a story, generally in a questioning and very nice tone, which made me explain.

After literally a dozen of posts with me picking apart and explaining virtually everything in the story (complete with copy/pasted texts from the story), he kinda gave away that he was trolling me to keep me posting.

Apparently I am "easily baited". A lot of people found it very funny...

My talking to you reminded me of that poster when you talked about Tyler being uncaring towards Kristin because his attempts at communication failed, when it's the opposite.

Onlythelonelylove, I don't know you well enough (or could, actually) to know whether you were trolling me, but if you weren't and were simply talking about the story, then I apologize.

I love the story line, the characters, the flow. I hardly know I'm reading.

I really enjoyed What You Wish For. Congratulations.

Thanks, Mr. R, for a remarkable story. I waited until all of the parts were online before reading, and now I just want to keep reading about Tyler and Marisa. Well done, fella.

To the idiot anon who emailed me without leaving a return email address. Shoe posting statements that are false, and me proving that they are false, which were avoided by shoe by her posting another false statement, I'd hardly call kicking my butt.

Shoe kicks my butt at trolling ability, I admit that. So do you.

*Turns off anonymous email*

I liked the whole story so far, not knowing what the next chapter would bring(those twists I've previously mentioned). Thanks, Mr R., for the time and effort involved in this work.

I liked this story from beginning to end. I too very much favor stories that present a fairly accurate depiction of real life, and in which sex arises naturally, not in a manner designed for maximum reader titillation (so to speak). Being male, I can't say for sure how accurately you portrayed the women in the story. What I can say is that I understood these women a lot better than in most stories on Literotica. These women had multiple sides to their personalities, and so I viewed them as closer to flesh and blood than to prototypical male fantasies.

The overall result is that I became emotionally invested in this story and experienced increased curiosity as the story progressed as to how it would end and whether the protagonist would eventually get the best girl. I had been rooting for Susan all along, but eventually found Marisa more appropriate in view of the protagonist's sudden realization about how he felt about her.

Another thing I very much liked about this story is that it ended happily, or more accurately that each character experienced emotional growth and was ultimately better off at the end of the story than at the beginning. Marisa benefited by getting the guy and especially by conquering her fears. Susan benefited by finding a loving relationship, one which probably wouldn't have happened without her earlier involvement with Tyler. Tyler benefited by getting a terrific mate with whom a long term relationship would be not only possible but also continuously interesting. Even the original wife Kristin benefited by getting over her total self-absorption and acquiring the realization that marriages, or any worthwhile relationships, take continuous effort to make them work. I was left with the feeling that she would be able to get on with her life effectively, albeit with considerable emotional pain in the near term. Even the baby would benefit in the future from his parents' forging of a constructive way to communicate whose central emotional ingredient was not going to be anger.

So thank you for writing this story! I think it is terrific!

Super story, most enjoyable read I've had for quite a while

I thought the whole story was just a little too drawn out. I also thought it was a little too predictable. That being said, it was worth reading and I too waited until it was finished to read. I might also add that I appreciate the timliness of each installment, unlike DQS1 !

GUILTY - as charged for writing a really good story.

Great characters, plot moved right along, sex scenes were appropriately detailed or implied (personally I get erotic-fatique from overly detailed descriptions of sex [yes, I realize some of the best authors here do exactly that...I'm just saying] scenes especially when the author repeats them ad nauseam).

As regards the pace of posting a legitimate six-parter you deserve a hearty WELL DONE. While others (you know of whom I speak) may string us along to the tune of our plaintive requests for "next please" you delivered.

Oh yeah, one other thing...Chumly McWhorter! What a great name - awesome dude.

I don't usually write to the author about a story but this was a pretty good read. I liked most of it and enjoyed the ending. Thanks

Read it from start to finish. I like that you posted the story on it's entirety chapter by chapter each day. I'm reading some series that take several months. A few of them I've lost interest in. Characters were interesting. I always enjoy the struggle to go back with an errant spouse or move on. I'm real life I haven't known a divorce that didn't take 2. Keep writing.

but can't have everything......

good read

More Please Loved It.

U're at it again..... another bestseller...........

really well done, start to finish..............

loved it very much...

keep going...

You asked about your female characterisations. I'm but a male, an aspiring writer who seeks to make his women characters as convincing as I can. I've even a couple of times tried to write entirely from the woman's POV.

I think you've done brilliantly. Absolutely convincing for me. You took me with you every word of the way. Not the tiniest snag anywhere, and my critical mind usually manages to find something to snag on, even in the best published writing.

Take that as the highest accolade I can offer you.

You deserve it. Thank you for taking my mind off some profound personal worries.

Another excellent yarn. I think you just keep getting better. The female characters were more complex. Good Job! Can't wait for the next one.

I really liked your whole "book". All of your characters were very believable. Story development was awesome. Good for you! More Please.

You asked: "Did I (at least partially) redeem Kristin? Did Marisa's actions make sense given her background and emotional make up? Were any of them too cliche?"

Yes, yes, and no. I was always skeptical of Kristin, thinking that she was golddigging trying to get back with Tyler, but you convinced me that her contrition was genuine. Marisa's emotional frailty was understandable, and I'm glad she finally let her guard down. I knew he had to keep pursuing her even when she ran, and I'm really happy for them.

If there's any cliche about it, it's in the Tyler/Susan relationship. The way I read it, they both wanted a change, they both liked each other, and they would have been a great match. The only reason they didn't give it a shot was the distance; the cliche of the long-distance relationship. If they were as serious about settling down as I thought they were (esp. Susan), then she should have been able to quit her job and move north with him, or some concession along those lines. Money's not an issue for him anymore, and I'm sure she made a pretty penny too. I thought it was kind of a weak reason for them not to be together.

All in all, you succeeded. All characters were complex and I fell in love with them. I love your writing. More please.

I absolutely loved the character of Marisa. She had a wall up about all of herself and I kind of like the, (I dont really know what to call it other that a game), game that went on between her and Tyler. I did believe that Kristin was sorry but I would have been angry if Tyler would have taken her back. Great story.

Pt. 06 tied up loose ends but left everyone enhanced in Capraesque finality. None of the characters pose future challenge to your vaunted hero and his quirky damsel. Perhaps a vengeful Randy or a scorned Allie lurking on the periphery. Could have left more room for a sequel?

Nonetheless, a wonderful read, very diverting, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

IF YOU ARE NOT A FULLTIME WRITER ...YOU SHOULD BE. CONGRATS

Congratulations on this story. I really enjoyed reading it.

You wanted us to comment on the female characters, so here goes:

All in all I found your characters really enjoyable, not over-the-top like in other works. You know, where the ex-wife is so bad, she simply needs killing. So yeah I think Kristin was the hardest character in this story to get right and you nailed it pretty good. She is not a bad person; just so spoiled rotten that she not even starts to think about the fact that maybe the world doesn't revolve around her. And from that self-centeredness she just makes stupid mistakes. I know many of those in real life, not the least: my own sister. You pretty much summed up his dilemma in taking her back yourself, so I wont do it, but she is nobody to hate and I think thats good. Thats pretty much the tragedy in this "Wifes" category: You believe them they are sorry and not bad people but you can't really forgive them either, because the damage is done and persists.

I would have really liked to read more about the background of Marisa though. There has to be a good Story behind her behavior, you just never told us. I mean i can guess but it would have been good to let her tell him her story at the end of chapter 6.

The other character are pretty good too, just not as deep but thats OK.

The Character that I have problems with though is Tyler himself. You say he is a big time money guy, he is quarterback, he works 12 hours every day, is a successful writer etc. But I just cannot find these traits, or traits that would enable him to be all this in your Story. He is just not this taking-charge kind of guy that you set out to portray.

Every time the story gets to a point where a take-charge personality would have, well, taken charge he just mopes around.

His wife leaves him, he does ... nothing.

He looses Susan because his mother is sick, instead of finding a way to fix this, he does ... nothing.

Marisa leaves without explanation, he does ... nothing.

Ok, Ok, after his mother, of all people, twists his ear ... for christs sake !?

What I am saying is just, he has the personality of a low level white collar worker. Nothing more, maybe a Geek, but no QB-One-Jock. With his personality he would never have been good at Football, Finance, Writing, but he is ...

Maybe you should dedicate your next Story to write believable "alpha male" characters, if you insist on using them.

Please don't get me wrong, the character of Tyler is great, he just doesn't fit to the background you gave him.

That all being said, its still a great Story, keep up the good work!

Just spent a enjoyable trip in Tyler's life. Kristin was just a selfish woman who deeply regretted losing her gravy train. I didn't buy her bid for redemption because she hid Ben. A very believable character.

Marisa was pushing the theme of wounded alienation. Again, very well written. I went to school with a woman like Marisa, who literally became a witch. That whole period of my life was waaaay past scary. So, very well written.

Tyler is a decent sort, put in a series of bad situations. When he went to bat for Marisa over compensation with Natalie, that really fleshed out his character.

Like Tyler, WRITE a book and I'll buy it!!!!

And yes. Write a book already! LOL

Thank you for a great story.. I rarely comment in this medium. A very enjoyable story perhaps based on experience or facts.

Please keep writing so that we can all enjoy your talent.

Great story

Thanks

Hah! Only one mistake: should be "hers" instead of "her's." You write well, and this from an old former English major (majored in draft evasion, really--it was the late 1960s) and a steady reader. I do wonder if a happy ending was a realistic choice, given all the strife and heartache in the hero's life. It has been my experience that life tends to knock you down and then just keep kicking you in the kidneys.

Eh, no matter. Mazel tov on a fine piece of work!

Thank you for that story. It was enticing from beginning to end.

That was a really great story thank you for sharing it with us

great story well written congratulations do some more

Great!!

Maybe it will be better if Kristin's feeling and reason for leaving him is told in more detail. I mean it's not fully believable that she left him without telling anything and betrayed him with someone who couldn't cater her needs more than her worshipping husband.

Anyway I have a great time reading it, couldn't stop till it's finished (thankfully it's already finished!).

Thanks!

Hands down this was the best series I've read here on this site. Absolutely fantastic characters, compelling and believable. Just wanted to thank you for fantastic read.

Seriously, I've read all of your submissions and they are well written with a plot and good character development. As to whether you've rehabilitated Kristin, not sure, I think so but that's just me.

Please keep writing and while I realize that you have a life outside of this site, your fans, and yes you do have them, would like to see more of your work.

You have to shift a lot of rock to find a diamond and this series is truly a diamond.

Thanks

I really liked Marisa, she reminds me of Lisbeth Salander, the girl in the Milennium Trilogy.

Well done, Rehnquist !

I came to the Top List of "Loving Wives" looking for something more erotic but found something much better. Thank you for such a terrific story! I think the character development was done well for the length of the story, however I struggle with the believability of kristen's redemption. I think she laid down too suddenly. I understand that she wanted to get back together and thought that would be a way back in, but don't believe it.

I started reading this because I liked another story you wrote. Read all 6 chapters in one sitting. Couldn't stop. Sucked me right in. Had to know what happened to all those interesting people. I cared about Tyler. Thought all your women were real people except for Kristin. You tried too hard to redeem her. She deserved to be a little nicer and to have learned her lessons, but I didn't buy the whole makeover.

I enjoyed the ending very much. I really liked how successful an author Tyler was. Might as well dream big! Look forward to future stories.

i like the whole storie, was a great read keep it up

Judge I have read this story a couple of times and greatly enjoyed it each and every time I have read it. Are you writing anymore chapters to this or starting another story. I would love to read more about these characters and what is going on with them.

Strong characters, nice plot, plenty of emotion/conflict, very few typo's or grammatical issues (rare for literotica). Brilliant.

I have read thousands of books, I know good work. This is good work.

6 stars.

If truly written by a male, fems would have a male believe he cannot possibly actually 'know' a damned thing about fems - therefore unless written by a fem casting herself as male, she would characterize a lead fem as nearly dominating the story on an emotional basis and forgo most facts which tend towards presenting the fem as having reason to behave as she does and most blame anything or anyone for her fem character behavior.

Every fem writer or reader wants such 'fleshing out' of the fem characters on an emotional basis and would rather not read the 'cold hard facts' males are prone to want to read or in reality hear from the fems rather than their 'stories'.

On the other hand, I do know most males of an age, ~ age 55 and younger, are so effeminized they too want the fem characters 'fleshed out' and are prone to make the same sort of comment.

What I'm saying here is meant for the AUTHOR, not writer, to keep on doing the same thing and not to listen to their damned complaints for if done, will destroy what's meant to be otherwise, a good story !

i realy enjoied this story, thank you for sharing it

The story is essentially perfect. The ending is a masterful! You are a gifted writer.

I am familiar with Illinois, though more so the Chicago area and the lake's area east and north of the city. I Goggled "Grant City" but got no hits so I assume that in special cases you hide the location for a portion of the story. Much as Sinclair Lewis did in his novels of the 1920-30's in which he has his city named "Zenith" which I believe was really Minneapolis.

Please continue to write in your original and exciting style.

I just wrote a comment but thought I'd add the would have have thought that Tyler would decide upon his ex wife because of their son.

So as you have in your story Tyler deciding between Kirsten, Susan and Marisa, Bill in WWWM has the choice of Debbie, Aline and Myra. Two triads of women.

Now that I have finish the story, I can say I had to read it right through. Fantastic read. Loved the book ideas in the back ground and the concepts on the interactions in that world- lawyers, agents, publishers. The plot line was sustained from beginning to end. /And you input about the right bits of sex for us old fellows.'

Please continue to write. I wish that I do create like you have.

Thanks

Deepthinker

Development of characters great

dailog great

idea great

surrounding characters esp natalie and dad hilarious

realism hell this was fiction so 4 out of 5

you will be listed on the hall of fame writer for Literotica

keep on spewing your stories out i will certainly follow each and every one of them.

This story shows real skill with the language. Characters are honest and vibrant; the development is believable – everything a story should have. Now that I've read the rest of your offerings, you have my thanks and admiration. They're all well done and your skills are increasing. Please keep it up!

I didn't even take time to leave a comment prior to this. I'm such a sap for a well written love story & tears dropped as I finished.

Keep it up. BTW--why aren't you writing books for publication & screenplays?!

Really enjoyed it!!!

My wife is PO'd at me because I have been reading your stories all day. It is very refreshing to fing a great story teller that has a command of the language.

This is my second time reading this love story. Did Marisa edit it?

Your story was great and you are a very skilled writer. The characters were very well done and each female character had their positives and negatives. At one point I found myself rooting for each one of the girls to end up with him, some more than others of course. Even Kristin had her redeeming qualities and I would have thought the story was great if they had gotten back together. Good description of characters, story telling, and use of the english language. I'm glad you took the time to develop your characters. You made them unique and gave them a personality and you just didn't jump off into some ridiculous sexual encounter. I had a good feeling that it was going to be Marissa. I hope you continue to write and release something soon as I am eager to read your next story.

One of your best to date that I have read. Very good.

Captivated! Read the whole thing from start to finish - loved it!!!

You asked for it. Let's start on a positive note though. I have spent several thousand hours reading a variety of pure slop on this site, and a little potentially good literature, some of which was your's. This effort is, so far, the best of your's that I have read. I notice you get a few comments at the end of every installment, but I like to save the very rare (because, face it, most of the writers here will never be authors) comments of mine until I read an entire piece to your conclusion. That said, lack of thoroughly proof reading on the authors part truly gets my goat, as spellcheck doesn't tell the author when "has" has been typo'ed into as, and a similar hundred other flubs that destroy the flow of the story, as the reader has to translate the authors meaning. You don't have this problem to nearly the extent that many of you fellow authors do, in that I only caught one such typo in all six installments. No, my true reason for spending this time commenting to you is your premise, in the "foreword", was about female character development. I also am a male, soon to be 61 years of age, and I may, just may, be a little more perceptive than the average male, but I doubt it. However, if, as I am walking into the grocery store, I notice a woman climb out of her car and walk toward the entrance, then pass the same lady in a couple of different aisles, and consequently then see her in an adjoining check out line, then, based on the car she drives, the body language and expressions on her face, the quality and style of her clothing, what she puts in her shopping cart, and by how she carries herself and gives notice to her surroundings, as well as by how she pays her total bill, without exchanging a single word with her, I would know more about her than I know about any of the female characters in your story. You are disadvantaged in that, while I get to see my female in real time, and in three dimensions, you must recreate that individual in the readers mind. All well and good, but within the confines of limited story space, and without absolutely boring the reader to death? Exactly the reason I do the reading, and leave the writing up to you. You do have my sympathy, and you also have my congratulations on writing probably the best story I have read on Literotica, ever.

thank you so much for sharing - your work really touches me. Only two false notes that disturbed the flow for me. First, there is absolutely no way that a real Marisa would ever own, let alone wear, pantyhose. Second discordant was the incorporation of Eastwood and King directly into the story - just didn't seem real somehow.

I liked the story. Very intriguing. The only thing I wish was that Tyler got back with Kristin. I felt that you, more than anyone, created a wife that I truly felt had remorse for her actions. Thanks for the story!

I liked what you did with each of the women. I liked each of them enough that I wanted each one to end up with Tyler. Well, Allie less so than the other three, but while reading that chapter, I would have been happy for it to have been her.

As the title of my comment indicates, this is a gem for Literotica.

I'm no pro critic, and I'm not an avid reader. I only really like to browse through the Loving Wives section of Literotica because that is what gets my rocks off.

I'm also one of those guys that needs to be rewarded with a graphically described sex scene for having to read through what is essentially the arduous build-up before the big pay-off. This is why I stick to shorter stories.

With this said, I was hooked to this series because it had my attention absorbed with the characters and their interchanges. Marisa's character was very intriguing and I liked how Tyler penetrated and dissolved her "bitch shield".

The sex scenes were hot, but strangely, I was more drawn to each of the main female characters and Tyler's experiences with each of yhem.

I guess you succeeded in what you set out to do, because you have earned five stars for making me want more.

Let me start by saying you did a very goog job writting this story. The plot is very humain and interesting.

About the female characters, let me say that Susan was perfect. She could just have tried a bit more for Tyler. like she could have appeared in town once or twice. About Marisa, I think she was your best character until your last part. Noone changes that much so quickly. It felt like you were in a hurry to finish the story and it was too much a cliché. About Kristin, I think she was nice developed, but could have tried harder to get Tyler back.

In fact, about the plot, I think Tyler should have ended with Kristin. It would have been much more like real life, where people very much compromise and don't follow their hearts like crazy.

Even so, I think it was a superb storu and I advise you to keep writing, I will be hoping for it.

One of the rare stories that made me want to write a comment ;)

Brilliant build up of characters, followed by just the right amount of sex. In fact, the story line made me skip the sex altogether to read what happens next ...

Keep it up

That was really fucking good. Congrats.

Per your request I will put some real time into responding about the development of your women and U promise to e-mail it to you - but the quick and dirty /

You did a great job with them all -

I know Mom very well met her more than once -

Allie is a girl we all knew and wondered about but are probably glad we did not get past second base with -

Marisa is what we dream of when we let go and let our heart take wing -

Susan is a wet dream we want to be the one for -

Kristin - argh - too stupid for her own good, spoiled and self destructive - BUT - she seems to have grown up a lot and hopefully will find the next Mr Right and know it when it happens this time. Redeem her a good deal you did and Tyler may not be right about her but he is almost certainly right about his final choice.

Natalie - rofl I know her and her 3 sisters - they live to be a hundred and die in bed with w 22 year old and a cigarette hanging from her yellow stained fingers - heh.

Thanks so much -

absolutely brilliant !

Nothing erotic here.

I like all your work.

Specific to this one, I felt the transition to Marisa as the love interest was a little too quick and easy. Just an empty, how did this happen, kind of feeling.

Otherwise your one of my favorites.

Well articulated, good on so many levels. You actually did the right thing - many of us were thinking Susan was the best choice, but things are not always going to happen the way someone else wants in life! (Same with Kristin's desires.) Even the desire to give the little child a proper family with two parents ... it was acknowledged but so was the fact that there was too much that had gone on in the past to cause the parents to come apart! Thank you for the story Rehnquist.

What a great ending to an amazing great story. My compliments to a great author.