All Comments on 'What You Wish For Pt. 06'

An excellent balance of tears, laughter and entertainment. Character development really good and enough suspense to keep the interest. (The right ending too I thought).

I look forward to reading more of your stories. I wish mine were as good.

First, this one of the best stories I have ever read on Literotica. Thank you for writing it. Thank you for telling us your objective regarding female character development. Thank you for the characters we came to know a bit better in this story. Thank you for only one typo.

Second, I want to congratulate you on the "Tyler" character development. We quickly embraced where he was in his life - even with the rapid paced changes. His internal monologues gave us some valuable insight into his character, conflicts and decision-making that story or dialogue could not. I might even have appreciated a bit more of that self-assessment in the story.

Regarding the women... I appreciated the flaws - the fears, the spoiled child selfishness, the hungers for long-awaited opportunities, the retrenching from social norms. The flaws made all of the characters warm and real - in some ways we wanted each to succeed. The dialogue from the ex was a bit redundant - but perhaps that was indicative of the depth of her self-lessons. The ugly-duckling/swan transformation was a bit predictable, but it worked well with Tyler's self-learning and convictions.

Thank you for the candor of the parental dialogues. PERFECT - and unique to them.

Thank you again for a wonderful story.

This story gets better every time I reread it! Thanks for writing it!

Thank you so much for this story. Even though I am a sucker for this type of ending, I enjoy reading about each and every one.

Jack

Damn! Couldn't put this thing down! Great job and will go back and read others from your list. Thank you for all the hard work you put into this! Maris and Tyler would be proud to be a part of this!

Got started by chance and couldn't stop. Very nice read. Gonna go read some more of you. Thanks, Mike

Loved it again for the first time! Few stories can deliver that. Most of yours always do. Marisa was a top notch supporting charactor, maybe someone from your past.... ;)

you told me everything I needed to know about each character- felt like I really knew them while I was reading

not to bad for a lawyer

RFM

I've read all your stories and have liked them all very much. I'm not an evaluator of plot and character development, so I don't feel comfortable commenting on that.

But I do know English. Two things would help you with the minor errors even your editor missed. A spell checker and a grammar checker. For example both spell-check and a grammar check would have informed you that there is no such word as "your's." It should be "yours." But your story development has carried me to the end envying your ability.

Great story!

Have now read all of your stories, your quest for characters and the building of the resulting pen pictures is well worth the hours spent. Well done, I look forward to reading many more of your stories which demonstrate that erotic stories are far more than just steamy sex.....

That is wondering what the 3 things was that Marissa was saving for marriage? I mean I suppose anal is one.. but the other 2 are alluding me.. haha.. Great story.. Loved it! Can't wait to see more,..

I've just finished reading all your Loving Wives stories. I think you've done a fantastic job. The cheating wife and revenge are my favorite genre - because my first wife cheated on me and I was too dumb and naive to exact revenge. But I really like your character development and story lines. I may have to try my hand at writing a story one of these days - something I've always wanted to do, but have never had the courage. Again - Well Done!

great story! glad you took time to flesh out the characters. too many stories are "just one night stands." Marisa. what a women. reminds me of my wife.

Really enjoyed the story, not too much detail, but just enough to make it flow properly. Too much detail seems to force the story line as if the author is making up for some perceived shortfall. Mostly enjoyed it as it was believable and these situations could happen to normal people. Good use of humor and drama to accent the situation. A very moral story with good human interest. Well Done!

I am a voracious reader who loves a great book...As I am not a writer, I can only speak to the fact that this was an exceptionally entertaining and engrossing little tale. The female characters were well defined and believable. The struggles for all the characters were very raw ... pure even. I could imagine myself in any of those situations (including the ones I *have* actually dealt with). Wonderful. Thank you. Now, go quit your legal mumbo-jumbo job and go write a novel!

This is the second time I've read this, and I still love it. Now I'm going to really hate reading anyone else's stories but I will have to because this author has to take time out to earn a living. Pitiful!!

Hint....the Supreme Court would benefit from your attention, but look at how many of your readers would be left wailing.

This was a knockout punch, a touchdown, a fucking homerun! This story had it all from a wonderful plot to character development that was near perfect. If nothing else had been good I would have still been engrossed with the story to find out which woman the guy would wind up with. I gave this story the full five stars and would have given it six if I could. A wonderful effort from a fabulous writer.

and well edited! 5 * I'm really sorry that it has finished.

One nitt-picking little detail: 'yours' and 'hers' don't have an apostrophe.

Of a sick and perverted mind.

Your stories are so good that I'm deeply disappointed when I come to the end so soon. The characters are so rich and real that you care about them. And, yes , I love the happy endings. Life can be trying enough - I don't need the stories I read to frustrate me .

Just re-read WYWF - damn - sucker's still good (actually it's neck and neck with Bar and Grill for my favorite Rehnquist.) I could go on and on heaping great gobs of praise and humor-filled accolades upon you but I'm guessing you're getting pretty darn tired of all the sycophantic slaverings and obsequious offerings being spread about here.

So in closing I'll simply state - WELL DONE.

A great story from start to finish. A lot of emotions, twists and changes that you brought together. An excellent read from start to finish.

I loved every moment of this ride Rehn, thanks for this great story.

Your character development was great. Well I'm just letting you know as this was your goal. Apart from having a different POV approach you nailed it. Ain't it typical the angry aunt crittics that label a well thought out story can't seem to write their own name. Can't come up with valid arguments to back their claims. Why do they bother to read. I'm amazed that they can read. What do they want any way???? Oh. To complain cause their lives are just so miserable.

I love it. Especially the balcony-scene with those offhand-comments.

Brilliant.

Okay, the Kristin character development wasn't there so much. I would like to have seen more of what she was thinking when she was so selfish. I would like more of her parents and priscilla. Perhaps you could write a sequel that deals with them?

And I would really like you to delve deeper into Marisa's character and why she was so thorny. Maybe Marisa could write a novel and use Kristin as a source and counterpoint to his police lieutenant. You've gotten us hooked on these people, you can't just drop them and never revisit them again. That would be terrible. BW

I have read all of your work posted here and I have loved them all. By far the best I have read. Is there any place that I might find more of your work?

I’ve never felt the need nor desire to comment on the stories here. This story was different. Most are trite and shallow. Only a few are well written. This particular short story was well thought out and the characters were developed. It would be interesting to learn more about Marisa’s internal struggles. She had an idea for a book we never heard about after a brief mention. This was a page turner. Keep up the great work. If I may offer a single suggestion; although as difficult as may seem, try not to justify the words you put on the paper before or after each story. It’s not necessary. Your work speaks for itself.

As with all your work, you had me drawn in to the characters of the personae.

The development of the story was fluid but almost unpredictable,as it should be in the best tales. No inclination to the formulaic.

Please continue to write for the pleasure that you give to your numerous followers.

I look forward to your next offering with great anticipation.

Thank you

mackenzie51

Marisa came totally out of left field and elevated this story above the usual merry-go-round with the cheating ex tale. That said, I'm a little disappointed that she abandoned goth for the party. Believe me, in NY her look would have been a huge advantage, as a opposed to just being a knockout in a cocktail dress. Still- very well done, especially the scene with her at the hometown party.

If you can never forgive, sooner or later everyone will betray your trust, at least in a small way. You need to forgive to trust again. Tyler was frustrated with Marisa's problem trusting him, but Tyler had trust issues of his own. He didn't trust Allie after she kept Kristen's secret about Ben, and he didn't trust Kristen that she wouldn't leave him again if things didn't go her way. Forgiveness goes with trust. Tyler couldn't forgive. What will happen with Marisa if she makes a mistake? Their skyrocketing careers is likely to keep them apart for long periods at a time.

Tyler told Kristen that he would think about getting back together, and he recognized that Kristen was changing for the better, but the reader never sees Tyler really consider getting back with her. We never see a reason that it wouldn't work. It will be good for Kristen to be on her own, but that independence could convince Tyler to getting back together could work.

Great story, great characters. No gratuitous sex for the sake of space. Just a Great read. First one of yours that I have read, I bookmarked you and will read them all rest assured. You should give up briefs and legal papers and do what Tyler did, write!

I dont really write often, but as you said- you spent hours writing it- and if an opinion means you much...

I rarelly have as much time to read as these two days (and am glad I had the time). Would have apprechiate more (graphic) erotic parts, the caracters were developed superlby for me. Especially female ones, I wouldnt change none a bit. The main character is a bit too much thou- stuff yust happens to him - bad ones and then again good ones too without too much connection /plausability. I mean the breakup in tough but it happens- right? All the stars at the showdown? and Marisa's transformation was sweent (holywood sweet?).

Anyway I loved the read, you've lightened my days. Keep it up.

I typically do not write comments, although I will vote. I gave your story, all six chapters actually, a five. I like the way you develop your characters, and the way you tell the story. I am not a writer, I am a reader. Wasn't there a supreme court justice who once said, about porn, something to the extent, " I can't define it, but I know it when I see it"? Well that is how I feel about your stories. I cannot really tell you why I like it, but I know I do.

Had finished reading all your stories. Love this one. All female characters are done nice. Maybe can add abit of what happen to the rest of them or another series on the storIes.

Nevertheless, great stories and plot. Hope to read more of your series.

From: Karas in Singapore

Is the author still writing?

Oh thank god, chapter 5 scared me shitless.. I was afraid he'd take Kristen back... I'm glad he woke up...as far as marisa goes, she sounds like the complete opposite of Kristen, she's caring, loving, passionate, loyal and she has morals, this is the type of woman he should be married to; not that selfish self-righteous stuck-up bitch kristen. His mother sort of had me a bit peeved when she was talking about Ben being raised in a single parent home, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being raised in a single parent home.. My own mother raised all 3 of us by herself ; my husbands grandmother raised him since he was six all by herself, Children shouldn't be the only reason a couple stay together, what are you teaching them by staying in a relationship of convenience? His mother sounded as if she was asking her own son to forget all the bullshit Kristen put him through & just make it work for Ben, which wasn't right. There's no rules that states that children who grows up in a two parent household are more successful than children who grows up in a single parent household-- shit look at Jeffrey dahmer, he grew up in a two parent household but he became a sadistic cannibalistic serial killer! so the theory that two parents are better than one is pure bullshit! I enjoyed this story a lot, I loved the characters, ( not so much Kristen) I hate lazyass chics

No need for long winded comments, I gave great marks for your story, would have liked a little more tender sex (elaborately explained) from a female point of view. However well done.

So glad you didn't let our hero go back to Kristin, however the rub off orgasm was a little unbelievable, especially followed by the refusal to blow him. All women know that if they want something enough and the object of desire needs a blow job then the answer or at least the beginnings of that answer are at the tip of her tongue. She would have done it.

One other criticism - Clint Eastwood, would not say those things to a complete stranger, that was a bit like bollocks to big up the party.

1. is easy, "Anal sex"

2. Is obvious as it didn't happen in the story, swallow his sperm

3. Is tricky a choice of-:

a. Bondage as alluded to after the party (not really honeymoon thing)

b. Write a book (not great)

c. Take him with a strap on (my fave)

d. Tell him I was born a man

e. Tell him the real reason for my tattoo.

I think 'e' is the answer

I have not read your previous chapters... this was initially a random pick ~ Now, I have very good reason to read the previous chapters. The priniciple characters seem real... the hints of personal wounds suggest that your characters could also be found amongst my circle of friends and aquaintances.... Thank you for the good read.

this story was the last of yr entire body of work I read.

Just excellent and the ending where he leaves Kirsten with her misery was the fitting finale.

Pls continue writing, you have quite the following, myself included

From one lawyer to another, your writing is ecellent. Well planned and thought out.

A pleasure to read.

I enjoy your work. I have read all your submissions and beg you for more!

I loved it. Would've enjoyed reading a whole book. Thank you.

Loved the twist of the love interests, the entire story was great

It so works with this story!

Great read :-)

Thx

Before the finish of the editing I knew......or felt that it was her. Now, you need to write another couple of chapters about Tyler and Marisa. Perhaps about the second book and their coming child. Needless to say, I loved it.

I love your stories very thoughtfully put together characters had a lot of meat and the drama was percolating throughout. I had hopes for all the females hooking up with Tyler. I would've like to have seen Tyler and Kristin get back together. I thought Kristin was redeemed as a credible person in the end. I hoped for Susan to transition her life's focus to jump in with Tyler both feet first Allie had promise at midway and fit nicely with Tyler. The characters were lovable and I am really sad to see this story end. Great stories bring you into this alternative universe or reality with the vicarious conscious extension of your own reality percolates through them. The story was well written and had me captivated from beginning to end. The drama was spellbinding. I have not read many stories that compare to the pleasure I experienced in reading this story. The author is beyond highly skilled. Thank you for the joy and entertainment in this magnificent story.

This was fantastic taking all six volumes as one story. All six volumes made a cohesive progression of both story line and character development. This kept me intrigued to keep reading the story and fully invested in ALL of the characters. Wonderful job.

All's well that ends well. As i wrote in my comment in the previous chapter that I loved the story but hated marissa key's character. She was too weird, however, thank god it took a 360 degree turn and everything was explained well. It all made sense now. Simply superb overall. Take a bow!

I would first like to apologize to Karen for knit picking. Karen, Marisa did a 180 turn. A 360 would have brought her a full circle and nothing about Marisa would have changed.

Great read! Author kept us in suspense about a possible reconciliation with Kristin for the sake of the baby. Had Krisin matured or was she playing head games? She appeared to have changed but Tyler lost trust for her.

I hated to see it end! Could have easily been part of a bigger novel. Thanks for writing it!

I love that you loved your characters, flaws and all, it oozes in their humanity. They were perfectly human, a little broken yet each lovable in their own way. Your dialogue is gloriously cringe free for which I'd kiss your feet and I chuckled aloud several times. I enjoyed the sex scenes too particularly because they were extensions of the relationship rather than obscenely splodged every paragraph or so for a quick thrill.

You write well, for the most part spin a worthy but lengthy tale. But the always-offending wife always loses out. You, of course, always set up the wife so that her ability to return to her pre-offending status isn't likely or even possible at all. But of course the husband,in this case, hasn't taken note of these wifely character flaws that he now can't forgive. So the predictability of the outcome of your stories lose a lot of the tension that should build throughout the plot and leaves us with a rather flat tale.

Gotta say I love Marisa. I love the edginess - amidst the cookie cutters types and the names once dropped - Marisa was that one unique ingredient, that "what is it?" that lifts a really nice meal to the level of a fantastic one. Without Marisa - well - isn't that what you write for? It sure as hell what I read for!

So readable and enjoyable!

After reading all of your stories Marisa was the best. Started to read you as just another sex story but couldn't stop reading your stories I hated for the time to pull me away. Please write more either mainstream or more on here. It was great. Thank you for the great times you gave.

Thanks again,

Bruce Lawrence

I stayed up all night reading this story could not put it down. It felt real in so many ways. The love the hurt and pain the empty feeling the fear all of it.

And just the last chapter or two..

About portrayals of women... I was quite fond of the women in the story - but I noticed this time through that it was mostly because you managed to project your own romanticism through them so strongly. So, while is it very attractive, I'm not sure that it is good... in a similar sense to the "not everyone is a hero" concern someone else mentioned. On-a-pedestal is not a way to admire the true nature of anyone.

Lastly, your story was strong enough to shake people out of their trees. I suggest to you that HIV was so moved he had to respond quickly and forgot to be rude. That is some storytelling.

Green-something

(by the way - I agree that if you do not get lazy, after a while you can get an interesting resume - my own weirds me out now and again. I mean something else - a literal representation is not a romanticized one. We ain't all angels and we are all jerks. While it may be that the essential is only seen with the heart, that heart must be all of our hearts and so no ones in particulars' heart. Not that I know anything, but... a lighter touch, or a bit more humor, maybe? Trust the reader to find the love you have for your characters because of their nature? Maybe make it a result of the small things, rather than the large? ... just some thoughts...)

You're one of the best authors!!

Excellence!!!

I am no literary critic but this is the most engaging, enjoyable, and down right fun to read story on Literotica! Thanks for all your effort.

Why do not you write more?

Perhaps the best writer of the site and we lost him.

I found your "Bar & Grill" story and loved it and then i moved on to read this masterpiece. Fantastic character development, especially the women. I really enjoyed it start to finish. Thank you.

Beautiful!!!!

Great story! I keep wondering why the golden age of lit erotica writers seems to be several years in the past. I would love to see more of this...

just a wonderful writer.

dude doesn't have a cock but will open his ass or throat for this writer

Synopsis: Wife leaves husband. Husband wins the lottery and buys a new love. Wife regrets.

Mora of the Story: Right is money.

This is a well written story but its wrapped around an unbelievable and improbable event of the husband winning the jackpot, which in this case is his best selling novels that are to be made into movies. It's ok if the reader is fine with suspending disbelief, but he is probably more entertained reading a sci-fi/fantasy story.

5 stars - the reality was never over stretched, maybe a little soap opera in a few spots but I was so intrigued I spent over 1/2 of a day reading the series, re-reading spots as needed and this was instead of writing a paper for my international human resources class that's part of my Masters program.

I was drawn in, the writing, the characters and the almost normalcy of the situations. The final with Marisa and how that went was not what I was thinking, tremendous!!

I loved every chapter of this story! Great character development and good dialogue. I liked these people and even more I believed them. Great work!

Just loved it and so so so glad that he didnt get back with this ex

I am a Susan shipper, but I still like it. This was well written and I liked all the characters. I felt bad for the ex, even after what she did, so you did a good job there of humanizing her past the "cheating bitch" caricature. Not enough for them to get back together, but still.... Thanks for at least giving us Susan shippers hope that she was gonna end up happy.

Man, did I love this story. It had me from the first page and unlike many stories, had me right to the last few paragraphs of the final page. I enjoyed every character, even the policeman that pulled him over for speeding.

Just a really fun read that didn't leave me angry at anyone after the finale and this old logger almost cried when Marisa made her appearance at the final party. Hell, by that time, I didn't even hate his ex anymore!

This was a wonderful story, and I would encourage everyone to read it. And, yes the character development was also wonderful, but not just the women, I enjoyed, and felt that I knew, all of the main characters. I loved the mother, too!

I'm going to read all of other Rehnquist stories, too.

It's a damn shame you have no more to read, dammitt I want more. I'm like a spoiled child I want lots more.

The best story I have read up here on this site. Not one of the best, but the absolute BEST. I loved it from beginning to end.

This story was character development at its best. No eternally forgiving Messiah type husbands. No completely unredeemable narcissistic bitches. No fantasy driven over the top plots of revenge or retribution. No overnight businesses that turn him into a millionaire. He wrote the book that made him wealthy, but it was developed over a believable period of time. This story was wonderful. And I don't care what anyone says, Marissa was loveable from the moment she stepped in his house for the first time. I really fell in love with her when she had a date and just told him, "Get lost" when Tyler showed up. That was classic. Ballsy chicks are always hot. Great story

A long but captivating story, all fives for u man

And I wonder what the three things are, LOL...

A fine story.

I totally agree with "Bfreetorun"'s title and comments. A fabulous story well written and wonderfully descriptive of the characters.

Great story line and development of characters and great switches back and forth

An excellent, well-developed, well-paced piece. You have a real talent I feel you should pursue. Great job!

I too wanted Susan from early in the book, then I was looking for reconciliation as the perfect ending, I saw the transition from goth to awesome for the party early and I totally love the ending. In each person I identified qualities I love and the growth each was making was special, the ex turned out to be her own type of awesome. What can I say 5's are not always enough just a great read by a great story teller. Thanks

Jean

You did an excellent job with this story. Well paced, well written. Congratulations.

great enuff to take 1st place from ttt

Thank you for sharing your work

Just a wonderful submission. Loved the characters and especially the women.

she hadn't changed her appearance. She should have stayed true to Marisa, not a perception of what others wanted.

Marisa did stay true to her character:

""Why? Why did you do it? I mean, you look fantastic, but I'm gonna love you no matter how you dress or what color makeup you wear."

"For you," she said. "I didn't want to embarrass you."

I looked at her. "I was never embarrassed. Not once."

She smiled. "I know. That's why I love you. And why I know--I mean really know--that you love me, too. But this was your night. I wanted it to be about you, not about the fucking nut job editor you were so madly in love with.""

Her character was in love with the lead character. His benefit was more important to her at that moment than the point she was trying to make with her appearance.

The authenticity of that demonstration of love is what makes this writers' work so much better than most.

Green-something

"I think we're ready for the check," I said, interrupting his stare.

He tore it off and slid it to me. I slid a hundred under the ticket. His eyes lit up at that.

"Change?" he said, knowing my answer.

"We're square," I confirmed.

My answer to this question is:

only if you want a tip. It is not the place of a server to ask if there should be change. It is the patron who determines if a gratuity has been earned and presumptuous to to assume otherwise. And no, it is not a matter of expediency. Should the server suggest the amount of the tip when using a credit card?

The characters come to life, flaws and all. This is very enjoyable to read. Not a stoke story at all, just a very good story about real, flawed people with redeeming qualities.

Wonderful job!!!! I'll bet you could add another chapter or so if you put your mind to it!!???? But then, it's a great story as it is....

BTW, I gave you 5 stars on all chapters!!

But I was still hoping for Susan!

And just what are the 3 things she's saving? One is pretty obvious (anal), two is a possibility, though kinda hard to believe she hasn't done it (oral), but what else is there?

o k I guess

3*

Entire story was well written with a very interesting plot. Continuous evolution of situations and relationships throughout, and you didn't take the easy way out by having him choose Kristen (and had Tyler explain it well). Great job.

PS. A "Book II" continuation would be great.

The way your females are portrayed is great.

Your story was real, full of emotion, and titillating sex moments. Hope to read more of your wititng!

As much as everyone raves about Daniel Q......I think he needs to learn something from yours. His female characters are heartless bitches....hateful cheaters. I'm certainly not a professional critic, but hell, I rarely agree with them anyway. His men are so deluded by love they'll forgive the most hateful over the top betrayal just to get them back. I'm glad Tyler could not accept Kristen's actions. All in all, I have liked your stories....thanks for your concern for your art.

I was there from the beginning until the very end...totally invested in each character, rooting for my favorites. Thanks for such an awesome time!!

My Goodness ..what a great story .... read the whole thing in one go.... keeps everyone on their edge ....guessing till the last word... fantastic job ..thanks for such a marvellous , well knit , spellbinding story...