All Comments on 'Invisible Girl Ch. 02'

Keeps us hanging on teh edge of what happened between the two of them. Hopefully chapter three won't take this long :)

I love this serie, I'm so excited waiting for netx chapter!!

I like the concept of the story, but I think your editing needs some major work. I do not say this to be mean, because I am by no means the best writer (in my opinion), but I know what seems glaringly obvious. I am just trying to give some constructive criticism. First, Spellcheck is your friend (off to a bad start when there is a misspelled word in the first sentence of the story). Second, needs better punctuation. Third, who is Analia meeting? Jason or Andras? I was a little confused with the name change. Fourth, the story was a little hard to follow with the jumping around of scenes without some kind of major "breaker" such as a dotted line across the page (example---the girls at the mall, then suddenly Analia is at home with Courtney just walking in on her and then it jumps to Ray and Andras chatting). Fifth, and most important, PROOFREAD, PROOFREAD, PROOFREAD. Watch your tense changes (worn instead of wore)and use of words (there instead of their). I hope this helps and I hope you are not offended because I meant it in the nicest and sincerest way possible. I look forward to reading your next installment. :-)

Nice story so far.

Please come up with the continuation

Love the story-line, please do continue it! But I will also say, that it's maybe a good idea to have someone edit it; just to get rid of the typo's, misspells etc. Because they just take the attention away too much from a really good story.

Please hurry up it is a great start and I'm really wondering what happens

Please this is a great story I wonder what he did to her i hope there will b more soon

It has been almost 8 years. what are the chances that you will surprise us with another chapter of what started out as a very sweet and romantic story.

You capture the lack of self image that the beautiful people shackle other to. I feel for Analia. Please finish the story.