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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Really enjoying this story. Looking forward to seeing where the story goes and how he'll use his powers next!

second time reading

this is the second time I am reading this and I love it this time just as much as I did the first time I read it great story and what Candace did to Rachel was great I think I would have done a little more but I am a guy so I would have more fun making her husband watch as I fucked his wife and gave her a climax like he never could and then I would make it were she could not climax unless it was me fucking her

very nice!

I must say it has been a while since I even picked up a new story on here but after reading this, I early await the next chapter.


I really liked it, and want to find out how the party ends and what Sam and Lester does next with the potion. Do they take it with them when they go to college and use it to get into a fraternity, and so on

Thank you!

I really appreciate all your feedback on my story. Thanks for taking the time to leave it. I'm brand new at this so I'll take as much advice as people are willing to give. =)

second time reading this story

this is the second time that I have read this story and it is as good this time trough as the first time I read it it has a great story plot and the way he delt with his step sisters was vantastic

not bad

I enjoyed it for the most part, but i do agree that you could of done a lot more with this. I know when writing, the build up can get to the point that you just want to get it done and over with, but for a story about a kid losing his virginity, you could of had a little more detail.

Juvenile, but you did mention it was a first...

You rushed the story, so much that the enjoyment of the situation was taken away by the speed.

First suggestion - get an editor
Second suggestion - plot out your stories, don't try to get everything in the first one. Especially if you plan on extra chapters.

Don't give up - just have another go at it.

read my comments that I posted under chapter one of this saga. It's the one with numbers, just fyi.

some feedback for you:
1. use an editor, it will help with spelling and word usage.
2. When you post try to post at least 2 pages at a time, you will get higher ratings. People tend to rate less here when the story is one page.
3. background on the old man.
4. Ty needs to explore the power but not be a huge dick about it.

Before I get the deluge about posting this, I have multiple college degrees. When most people read that can fix the words with their mind as they go, but it breaks the feeling on the story to do so.


Am I the only one, or does anybody else want the next phase of superchick being turn into a bimbo slut soon!!!! lol

you need an editor to proofread your work since it shows you did not do it yourself.

Good initial idea

Good idea for a story but so poorly structured

Great Story, one of the best here. Shame it was never finished

I loved the buildup to the party at the deputy mayor's house. I'm sure you had some super kinky stuff planned. In fact, I think Duke, probably a very large dog, might have been the most important character in that scene. I expect you also had plans for Bill to not only learn about Pam's exploits, after enjoying Jane's treasures, but ultimately to be conned by Ballard into participating in Pam's further degradation. No need to go into details here, since you're probably no longer writing and likely don't even visit this site any more. I just wanted to put my appreciation for a great, albeit unfinished, hugely erotic story on record.

I do wonder if that chapter wasn't actually posted in the "Extreme" section of literoitca that you mention occasionally. If it was, that section sadly apparently no longer exists.

Incredible work Linda Jean! Thanks, wherever you are!

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