All Comments on 'August Is Over'

Interesting read, pelegrino. I enjoyed it. I hope you'll consider somethings that detract from an otherwise good poem:

Line 3 needs no comma at the end of it.

Line 5 "who's" should be "whose."

The first stanza is nicely done and captures the reader's interest otherwise.

In stanza 2 "cause" in line 4 sounds too colloquial to me, given line one in stanza 3, "My Dear," which is both semi-eloquent and appropriate. In fact, I like it because it suggests some disdain, maybe displaced because the disdain may be subconsciously on the part of the narrator or maybe the mistress. It doesn't matter to me as much as the tension "My Dear" created in my mind. In that regard, "because," would have been a better choice as a precedent, and I don't think it disrupts the rhythm of the line.

Call me old-fashioned and sentimental, but I wanted the last stanza to end after the 4th line. What can I say? I have a great wife whom I love. That said, I have no quibble with the remaining lines because of the last two.

...So much so, that I feel a riff off coming in my bones ;-)