All Comments on 'Stupid Head, Stupid Heart'

short lines and the use of couplets make the rhyme feel forced and gratutious. You might want to work rhyming alternating lines which will help de-emphasize the rhyme here.

jim : )

i agre with the "short lines" guy but i also see that this is a depressing poem so it kinda calls for it. i believe that people think in shortness when they're depressed and ready to end their lives, just how this poem is. good job in showing this!