A Farmer's Mother

I almost dropped the plate in my hand. As I was too stunned to speak, Su went on.

"I came back, Jack. I came to apologize cuz I left early and I...I felt your hardness when I walked past. It felt wrong like I had been bad, so I wanted to make sure you weren't mad at me. I saw what you done to Mama on the table. I saw it plain as day. Don't deny it."

"I won't, Su. But you don't understand..."

"Seems to me I understand just fine. You mounted her like Big Jake mounts the mares. You mounted her, and you had her fierce. She loved it. I guess you treat her better than Pop in pretty much every way, don't you? I should be disgusted, but...I'm not."

I looked at the heat in her eyes and saw for the first time that it wasn't just anger. How long had it been there, I wonder. Su was a young woman, and she doubtless had needs and desires. Maybe seeing Mama and me go at it had upset her for the simple reason that it was something that she couldn't have yet.

"What are you then? If you ain't disgusted?"

"Interested. I never seen what it was like when people did it. I want it for myself. I won't tell, though, Jack. I'll never tell a soul. Even if it is wrong and sinful."

"I'm sorry you saw it," I said, "but I ain't sorry that I did it. I love Mama. Really love her. And she loves me."

Su looked appalled, then upset and frustrated, and I smiled at her, just a little.

"Wh...what are you smiling about?"

Su wasn't really angry at me, I could tell. She was maybe a little jealous of Mama. I figured she just needed the same thing and couldn't get it.

"Have you met someone Su? Is there someone you want to treat you like I treated Mama."

"No! I mean...yes. Jack, why do you have to be so mean to me?"

I was surprised now. I reached out and pushed some of Su's hair behind her ear.

"Su, I ain't making fun. I want to know. Is there someone who you want to be your husband?"

"Yes, but he can't be."

"Is it because he's married?"

She laughed then, a bitter laugh older than her years.

"No, but he might as well be. He's already in love with another woman."

"Who is it, Su? I ain't saying that I can help, but I'll do what I can."

She looked me in the eyes and then smiled. For a moment, I saw that she was still just a grown-up tomboy, full of trouble and joy.

"You, ya idjit. I want you. I want you on me like you were Mama. Well, maybe gentler, because that was scary. But that's what I want. And I'm gonna have you, too. Now that I've seen that you're willing to 'breed your own stock,' I'm gonna be your filly. You just wait and see."

I stood there stunned as she turned and walked up the stairs. For the first time, I really watched her hips sway under that skirt of hers. She turned around at the top and looked at me, a little triumphant smirk on her face.

"Jack, you might start thinking about what I look like under this skirt. If you like Mama, you'll love me."

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CHAPTER SIX

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Things went on like that for a few wonderful short weeks. Mama and I sneaking about, catching time together when we could. When Pop decided to work, my days were easier, but I was frustrated. When he fucked Mama, I seethed, but I always reclaimed her the next day. The guilt she felt at "cheating" on me bothered me more than anything else. I loved her more than ever.

Su mostly kept her distance from me, which made me sad. I did love her, and I worried that what she knew had made her hate me a little. She did start to tease me though, making sure to bend over in front of me all the time, flashing her panties at me when she crossed her legs in the living room and brushing against me so I could feel her tight, young body pressed against mine. Idid feel guilty for how I found myself wanting her right back. I felt like I was cheating on Mama and I didn't know how to tell her that Su knew or that she wanted me. Oddly, I didn't compare her to Mama. One was a sunrise and the other a sunset, both different and beautiful in their own way. These were the two most important women in my life, and I didn't want to lose either of them.

Pop grew more distant. He spent about three nights a week at home and worked maybe one day on the farm. I loved that he was gone more often, but it was hard maintaining the place basically on my own. I didn't complain, though. I couldn't put my problems on Mama or Su. I was the man of the house in all but name now. We would have help with the reaping and harvesting, as the community pulled together when each farm was ready (I helped three neighbors with theirs' later that year), but other than that I was the only one working after that. We had some late garden harvesting, quite a bit of winter repairs, and all manner of things that needed to be done for our horses and other livestock.

It was a complicated situation. It got more complicated that mid-October afternoon.

* * *

I got home a little early, as I had been recently to get a bit more time with Mama. I entered without much more thought than getting her clothes off and making her feel good. Unfortunately, the sight before me stopped me in my tracks. Seated at the table were Mama, Su, Pop, and the Reverend. Based on the look on Mama and Su's faces, I was at first sure that we'd been caught, but Pop looked more bored than angry. The Reverend just smiled blandly at me with his too-clever eyes sparkling in the dim light.

"The Reverend came all this way to see you, Jack, so sit and listen."

Mama's tone was severe, so I did what she said. I looked at her, worried. She smiled at me and patted my hand in response. My anxiety dropped a notch or two. She and Su were both dressed in their Sunday best. Come to think of it, Su was wearing a dress that I'd never seen her in before. Its bodice was, well, open, showing off her developing breasts. Pop wore stained overalls and an irritated expression.

"Reverend, does this holy-rolling have anything to do with me? I say, let the boy go to the city. When he fails there, he'll come crawling back, and then we'll see who's in charge."

The Reverend didn't rise to the disrespect.

"No, Harold, I don't think so. I'm here for the best of the whole family, not just you. If you have some work, you need to get done, by all means, get to it."

Pop looked like he was gonna explode for a moment, but he stalked off, grabbing the keys to the Studebaker off of the counter. There was no doubt he was driving into town to get drunk.

"Well," the Reverend said, satisfied as though he had planned Pop's stormy exit, "that simplifies things considerably."

"Uh," I replied, "I don't think I'm going anywhere any time soon."

I shot a loving glance at Mama but otherwise stayed silent. I hoped that would be enough to satisfy him so that he, too, would leave. He just laughed, though.

"Oh, Jack, I assumed as much. Your Mama and I talk every week at Church, and she's been filling me in on all of the developments between you two. She was quite resistant to the idea at first, you know, even though she loved you deeply. She was worried about harming you or keeping you from happiness, and even about your soul if you can believe it. I've advised her that the Good Lord has always been open to love within the family; however, and she's taken to it once again. She's quite satisfied with you as her new lover, although I'm sure you know that already. She's been bragging about you to some of the other mothers."

I blinked. Time stopped. Su turned bright red. Mama smiled coyly at me. I waited for the shouting, the damn-you-to-hell. It never came.

"Uh...Mama, youtold him? Aboutus?"

I'm a bit slow sometimes, so I mostly felt betrayed. I had great trust in Mama

"Please don't get mad, Jake," Mama said, "just hear us out, ok? I felt bad at first, and when we started to...to touch each other, I was so hesitant and afraid that it was the wrong thing to do. Once we made love, though, I knew that you were the right man for our family. I promise you that everything I did I did for you and for our family. I love you every bit as much as I've told you. I love what we've become to each other. It feels more right than anything else in my life."

To my surprise, Su reached out and held my hand tightly. She didn't say anything, but when I looked at her, I saw a pleading look in her eyes. I didn't understand, not really, but I stayed quiet then. It would do no-one any good to start fighting, no matter how scared I was.

"The truth is," the Reverend began cautiously, "we have to be careful about who we let in on our...community traditions. Some folk reckon its wrong to keep things within the family. But it keeps our young men here, and it keeps them happy."

"Not everyone has a father who's as awful as Pop. Do the others just cheat?"

"Oh, heavens, no! We don't support that at all except in extreme cases such as yours. Typically if a son or daughter needs to lay with their parent, there's a discussion first, and allowances are made. It's more common for brothers and sisters to end up together, or cousins, although we've seen young folk and their grandparents. If your father and mother had been happy together, then I suspect Su would have come to me first. The women are almost always in the know, even if they don't participate. Your mother, sweet thing that she was, didn't have a brother, and her father was almost too old to give her children or any kind of life. So she found a strong, handsome man from outside of the community."

"I made so many mistakes," Mama said, eyes on the table. The Reverend shook his head, although I couldn't disagree.

"It doesn't help to think that way.

"You...Jack. You're almost certainly my father's son. But there's no way to be sure. I...I was sleeping with my father for a while because he was a kind and giving man. Mother approved as there weren't any marriageable young men in the community at the time, although both of them understood that I'd need to look for a new husband at one time or another. Then I met Harold, and we moved fast. There was barely a week after I stopped laying with Popdy that I started laying with him. I know how awful that makes me sound. I had such appetites when I was young. I guess I still do."

Silence hung over the table as everyone waited for my reaction. Although Mama was tense, Su looked terrified. This was a lot to take in, so I just squeezed her hand and stayed quiet and thought. Mama had been with a grand total of three men, myself included, and she'd done her best to make each relationship work. I couldn't fault her for that. I wanted to be mad at her for keeping the secret and letting me come here. She'd clearly meant to seduce me beyond a certain point, but I also felt that what she woke in me had always been there, waiting. Same for what I was starting to feel for Su. Even in this tense atmosphere, I was having trouble keeping my eyes off of the way her new dress pushed up her breasts.

"All right. I mean, if it works for everyone and people like Rex and me I'm not going to judge it. I feel a little less guilty, although it's odd to know its common here. I just...don't know what you want from me. I can't do more than I'm doing. Pop isn't helping anymore, and at this point, his drinking is costing us a ton of money that we can't afford. Mama tried to keep that from me, but I look at the books regularly. I'm not going anywhere, but I can't make money appear out of thin air."

The Reverend smiled widely.

"Jack, don't worry about the money for now. I've brought some with me. Only the people at this table will know about it. I know what you're thinking, that this must be charity. It isn't. It's the whole reason folks donate to the Church. We don't need a bigger building or fancy pews, but we do need to take care of the community. So keep working and stay vigilant. Both your Mama and I feel that your father is likely to take what money he knows about and run off with a young woman that he spends money on at the Road House. We're inclined to let him, to get him out of your hair, but if he turns violent or worse, you need to call me, and we'll make sure he gets out of town."

I felt a burden start to lift from my shoulders. I hadn't even known it was there. If Pop left, I could support this family. I could be with Mama openly around the house. I could maybe even be with... But the Reverend wasn't finished.

"The other thing I'm here to speak of is a bit different. You see, we do believe in keeping our young folk here and happy, but we also believe in some commitment. You have multiple women here. One you lay with, and the other wants to lay with you," I looked at Su, and she turned so red she might catch fire, "so we have to settle that. The good news is that both Su and your mother are all right with sharing if you are."

"I am," I didn't wait to answer. I didn't want to make Mama feel bad, but I loved Su too, and I wanted to know what it would feel like to be inside her. I suppose I have a lot of appetites too, just like my Mama and Grandpa.

"Good. Normally committed relationships like yours mean marriage, and we can arrange that for you. Not quite as open like normal, but if you're willing, we'll have a ceremony at the Church. Its small, very few attendees, and a bit...odder than most. That being said, it ends with you and your women wearing necklaces instead of rings, so everyone in the community knows that you're spoken for. I wouldn't rush this, but given your mother's state, we should have in the next few months. And I'm sure Su wants to be yours as soon as possible too."

"What's wrong with Mama?" I asked.

"Nothing," Mama answered, smiling, "but I'm with child. It could be Harold's but...you've had me a lot more often, and you don't pull out like he does. I know that there's no way to be sure but..."

"Boy or girl, I'll raise them like my own, regardless," I said, without a seconds hesitation, "they'll be my blood, and I'll treat them right, I swear it."

"See," the Reverend said, gesturing expansively, "I told you it would be all right. Jack is a sensible boy, and he cares for both of you. All right, about time I should be leaving. I have a few more stops to make tonight."

I rose and shook his hand, letting him out the door, where the sky had begun to darken. When I got back to the kitchen, Mama was busying herself in the kitchen, but Su was still sitting there, expectantly. I guessed what she was expecting, but she could wait a bit more. I hugged Mama from behind, putting my hands on her still-fertile belly. It may have been my imagination, but it felt just a bit larger. She turned and kissed me, passionately and slowly. It felt good and right to not have to hide this from Su like it was the most natural thing for me to make a baby with my own mother.

Then, aroused and curious, I turned to Su.

"So, little sister, are we waiting for marriage?"

I knew what would happen and maybe it was cruel for me to do it, but she got flustered and opened her mouth twice but still couldn't quite speak.

"You don't have to," Mama added, "obviously we didn't. The important thing is that you're committed to each other. I know Su only wants you. Its all she's been telling me for weeks now. Jack, you can't just use her like some men use young women. You have to be dedicated to her and make sure she knows it."

"I'd never just use you," I said, looking my little sister in the eyes, "I love you too much. And I've wanted you so badly for weeks now, ever since you told me how you felt. I felt bad about it before, but now...now I just want you."

"You should have two women anyway," Mama said, surprising me, "You need at least two to stay properly milked. If a man's balls ain't drained right, he'll be inclined to wander. But I think with a nice mare and filly at the stable any stallion would be happy, wouldn't you?"

I didn't care what Mama said, I'd never cheat on my girls. I still nodded, a wicked grin on my face

"Well then off with you two," Mama said, smiling, "Dinner won't be ready for two hours probably. That's enough time for at least once, although with Jack you'll probably get two or three."

Mama winked at me. Neither Su nor I needed any more encouragement than that.

* * *

Su stood up but didn't move at first, so I took her hand and led her upstairs. I decided to go to her room because she might be more comfortable there. As I led her in she stopped and closed the door behind us, then leaned on the door as if she needed support.

I came up and hugged her gently, from behind. She jumped like a startled deer and for a minute I thought that she might run like one too, but then she relaxed. Honestly, it was much like any other hug we'd shared, except I was hard and she was breathing fast.

"Su, you know you don't have to do this if you don't want. You can change your mind now, and I won't mind."

Su spun and stepped back, her eyes alive with the kind of tomboy fire that I realized I had fallen in love with.

"Jack, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to get out of...of this."

"It's a good thing you do know better, brat. I love you, and I've thought a lot about you in the last few weeks. You've been teasing me something awful, too, and you know it. But what I want isn't always what's important. What do you want? If you aren't ready, then I won't push."

"So...if I ask you...to stop, you will? And you won't be mad?"

"Exactly right, girl. Have I ever hurt you?"

"You've hurt my feelings."

"Do you think I'm going to reject you?"

"N-no. But you've been with Mama, and she's beautiful. All I am is short hair and...and..."

"Smart as a whip, kind as a saint, and gorgeous. I want you, Su. I love the idea of being your man, your protector, and provider. Your partner too."

Her eyes lit up at that, and she smiled.

"See? I told Mama that you'd understand. I want to quit watching the kids up at the Marsten house. They're great, but I want some of my own. And you know that I can hold my own out there in the fields, too. You've shown me how to fix things and plant. Pop wouldn't allow it, but there's no reason why would couldn't run this farm together..."

I was as entranced by this idea as Su was. The truth was that she was in great shape and loved working outside. Half the reason she cut her hair short was that it got in the way when she was trying to get things done. I leaned in and kissed her. For a moment she tensed, and I was worried that I'd gone too far or pushed her, but then she just sort of melted into my arms. As I held her, her hands explored my back, and to my shock, she ground against my leg in a way that Mama never would have. It wasn't ladylike, but Su wasn't a lady, not really, and I was going to learn how much of a benefit that could be.

"I do love you in that dress, you know, although..."

"Although, what, Jack?"

Su's eyes danced with inner light now, her flush was clear and tangible. She was smiling, but I know that she expected me to poke fun at her.

"I think you look gorgeous in overalls too. They hug your hips and push your breasts together."

"Jack!"

Su was shocked, having never really heard me talk about her or anyone like that, but she was also pleased. She wanted to be seen by me, and she was.

"That's not all. I really want to see you out of that dress. Right now."

It came out firmer than I meant it, almost like a command. Such was the intensity of my desire. Su looked at me, bit her lip in her charming way, then stepped back.

"Anything for you, brother. Anything you want."

Then Su untied a simple string at her bodice, and another around her back. The lacing holding the dress up loosened at once, and it fell off of her shoulders. At the last second, she held the dress to herself, clutching it to her chest as if for dear life. Her beautiful blush extended to her shoulders. She looked me in the eyes, searching for judgment, but found only love. She released her grip, and the white dress hit the floor. I might have gasped.