A Hot August Night 2018 Pt. 02

Dee surprised Nadia when she backed that comment. "Niger is one of the poorest countries in the world, yet they have the highest birth rate, over 8 children on average per mother. Plus, as a Muslim nation, men can have more than one wife."

So I threw out the zinger. "Aren't people like Madonna and Brad Pitt doing the same thing as a cuckold? Is that not the SOURCE of the pejorative term?"

That almost started Nadia crying again for raising the topic, so I threw her a chance to feel good.

"Nadia, what would happen if good people did not adopt children, even today?"

That stopped the waterworks, Nadia knew that one, she had toured the buildings used for that horror show when she was 16. "They had state adoption in Romania, it was bad, very bad. A government crime against their own people, the weakest and most helpless citizens. Fuck me, it would seem that I am a spectacular ignorant self-hating asshole mother's-fool for using that term as to mock you. I should have known better."

"Let us just say you were uninformed and manipulated by a parent you trusted. Now you know better. It is too easy to judge people, including you father. Especially when you allow somebody else to think for you."

"Okay," Nadia said. "Lesson learned." She turned to Eva. "I am so sorry for what I said. I know you make... father... happy." She stopped and then said something she never thought she would say. We could all see the trial it was for her. "Please, I beg you to continue to please my... OUR... Father as it moves you both."

Eva replied, "He makes me happy too. He really is good for my heart."

Going back to infidelity, and my wife and my concubines, Barb asked, "We talked about the behavior that would make somebody a cuck... I wonder if a wife... one who vowed fidelity... was with a woman instead of a man... does that qualify as infidelity? Also, what about other acts that cannot result in the cuckoo chick, like anal sex and oral sex?" Nadia and Barb exchanged looks, Nadia was concerned about another attack.

"There is a lot we have not talked about, including many things that have might seem to mitigate. I would say that, because the cuckoo bird reference is the very source of the term, a lesbian liaison does not nominate one with the obsolete archaic term. The root of the term is tied to the great effort of child raising. That part is history. Ditto with anal and oral, because again a child cannot result. However, this is important and overrides everything else we have said: most importantly marriage is about trust, and in that sense any breech of trust might be, and maybe should be, fatal to a marriage IF the trust about the wife's actions is violated, which was not the case here."

Eva had to jump in there. "I am a slut , but Trevor has given me trust that I will stay within a set of mutually agreed rules for my actions as a slut. We decided this more than a decade ago. His trust is the greater gift to me, and whatever type of relationship you have, you must remember that. Both parties must think, plan what they want, agree, and then trust. Breaking the trust is the real problem."

I felt that we had said about all there was to say, and I wanted to wrap up with everybody contributing something positive. "Let us spend a minute thinking, then go around the room for similar related questions about what might be considered as NOT relevant for unacceptable infidelity, assuming the trust thing is maintained. In other words, when might an act outside a marriage be considered so extraordinary as to be socially acceptable?"

They thought for a few moments, then I started calling on people rapid-fire.

Jim said, "One time safe event versus an extended period versus an extended period with a child resulting."

Rob brought sports in. "To extend what Jim said, a swing or swap with the husband present and participating with another woman; that sounds like equality and no foul, just a jump ball."

Greg said, "Other forms of sex, including oral or anal or bukake, or perhaps a two-man event like a DP or Spit-roast with the husband taking part, with birth-control so a child won't result."

Dee said, "Cases of need, like if the husband can't conceive - perhaps due to a war injury or maybe ph-factors or something - but both still want a child. In that case another man can give a special gift to both." I knew she had such a case in her family.

Julio raised the consent issue. "A woman who is raped is not adulterous even if she gets pregnant, but there are levels of consent, where a woman gets drunk, or accepts a drink that might be roofied, or goes to a party where some girls might encourage boys. Bad choices are still bad choices."

Barb said, "Dire straits, like a shipwreck or being stranded with a man in a snowstorm. These could lead to physical and emotional needs for both that impact survival."

Nadia had one. "A couple where the man has an injury, or is otherwise temporarily unable to perform for a long time. Must the wife also be limited if there is safe help available?"

Dee mentioned the troubles when India and Pakistan were formed, and murder ruled the night. "Couples were torn apart in the dark of night and thought the other was dead. For the sake of the children, they made new families in the morning with whatever people - including close relatives - was available. In one case from my family, a husband who lost a wife and a woman who lost a husband; they had to claim to be a married couple to get themselves and their children across the border to safety. Life as a married couple became their new reality for them and their children in the records, when in fact they were first cousins."

That seemed to be the end of what they could think of on the spot. It certainly gave them some things to consider.

As they disbursed, I could tell that Nadia was not going to be much fun for Jim or Rob tonight, she had a life decision on her mind. Julio had a word with Eva before he went off on his own, maybe he was thinking I would be busy, and Eva might want company. Well, with our guests that would not happen. I wondered who I was having tonight, I let the ladies decide but I figured it would be Ying, since I had Qiao when they arrived yesterday. On the other hand, I already satisfied Ying three times today.

I noticed that while Barb and Greg stood up, they didn't leave, so I figured we would have a bit more discussion. I was okay with that.

-

A Second Discussion - The Truth Will Out

When the others were gone, Barb asked if we could continue on one point. I agreed. Dee also came back after she and Ying did a quick check on the little ones. Eva also drifted back.

Barb was smart, she saw something I did and had a problem with it. "Everything you have said is true and is food for thought. But your comments are all circumstantial, they rely on judgement to decide you are not a cuck. Reasonable judgement perhaps, justified in many ways, but it is not definitive as to the formal definition. Take away the value judgements, which I agree are significant in the term 'cuckold' and it seems like what Nadia asked is in fact true, even if it is damning for her to say it. Your comments have been a smoke screen, but it is like a smoke screen hiding a brick wall. Note, I am not arguing the judgements, only the circumstantial nature of your response. Or, to put it another way, your answer would not hold up is Africa or Asia, even today. Your refusal to accept the term has been declarative, absolute, unambiguous and most important, gives no consideration to judgement. You are too smart to rely on this. So what is the deal? How can you remove yourself from ALL judgement? How can you say 'No' to Nadia, with no doubt of your position?"

Barb was very sharp. I saw that Greg had something like the same question in the back of their minds, he knew what was going on, he just could not find the words. Barb could and did. These were smart people, it had been a smoke screen to hide a secret.

I asked Eva, "Dear, as long as the Wedding Album is out here, do you want to share our secret with Barb and these others? Maybe give them something they can think of for themselves, when they each marry?"

Our Chinese concubines already knew the facts, since they had lived them. Plus, our Wedding Album was not under lock and key, it was all right there.

Eva said, "It seems the best way to end the lesson. I have no objection."

"This is a point we touched on before, when talking about the village, marriage, and who knows what. Okay, lets us see if we have agreement. Do you all agree that being a cuckold requires being a husband with a WIFE who crosses some standard of behavior? That the significant identity is 'wife' for the term to apply?"

"Yes," Barb answered. "I agree, that is critical," she said. "If they are not married then the female may be target for derision and bad terms, like 'slut,' not the male.

I said, "Dee, go past the vows. What is the date for the first picture, at the wedding chapel in Las Vegas?"

"Hmmm, it says April 14, 2008."

I felt I should add something. "Just as a comment, Dee was conceived right after my high school education, long before I met Eva. Her mother deliberately concealed her from me, she had her own reasons. Okay, there is a red tab near the back. What does that say?"

Dee knew what she would find, but she played along. "It is a marriage certificate that says you were married... August 15, 2008! Four months later. Why the difference?"

Eva laughed, it was the last piece of the puzzle and something she contributed, so she explained. "In many paper-intensive offices, there is a saying that 'the job is not over until the paperwork is done.' Okay, that applies to insurance. Well, at work the girls also used the same saying in the toilet stall, when they ran out of toilet paper and needed more. It was a cry for more paper that was more pleasant than calling out 'I need toilet paper,' because that begs the question 'What for?' which then goes to nasty..."

I took over. "In Vegas, for a price, things can be arranged. We had the ceremony in April, but the paperwork was not filed until August, which is legal, so we were not really married until then. We all wanted me to give Qiao a baby before the marriage was recorded. Hui Chen was born two weeks early on January 18, 2009, we were not legally married when she was conceived in late April 2008. Eva was in the bed with Qiao and me for each attempt at conception, blessing each try with many kisses. In fact Eva slept with Qiao, not me... I slept with Ying, but no sex was allowed. We got lucky soon after Vegas. When we were sure about Qiao, I made Ying a woman."

Ying blushed, it was a happy memory.

Barb said, "I had always wondered about that. But it does not explain..."

"Wait for it," I said, cutting her off.

Eva continued. "After August 15, 2008, I had been off birth control for 6 weeks, and the paperwork was done, so we tried to start a family. Trevor was the only man I had sex with during that conception period, I was 100% his slut. I was naked at the door when Trevor got home each day from work, and we did it at least once a night, plus many mornings and afternoons too, so this slut was kept happy with her one man. Sometimes he used fake voices, so I would not miss the variety. We got lucky with Travis about a month later. Then Faith, our second child, was born in December 2010."

I took over. "We knew we were not going to have a third child together but we waited a bit to be sure. Qiao called often, she was getting urges, she wanted to try for a boy in the worst way and we were willing and eager to help, but we wanted one other thing first. During Spring Break of 2011 we filed for divorce. April 21st, actually. But we did not make the filing in this state, we wanted to avoid the notice and paperwork. We had a complete divorce agreement, and a lawyer lined up, when we went to Seattle during Spring Break."

Greg cut in. "Don't states have a waiting period of a month or three or six? You were teaching, how could you..."

"You are correct for most states, 90 days or longer is common. But Washington state and one of the Dakotas I think, have a one-day period to file. You still have to have your ducks in a row and the divorce still takes time, but filing is the critical part; we worked everything out in advance so we went in with a pre-packaged agreement. We had rental and utility receipts, the whole bit to show we lived there, if only for a few days. This was all planned and agreed to before I asked her to marry me. We had an attorney who was paid for speed. I attended an academic convention so the University paid for a room and my flight, plus I was able to shave a few days teaching on each end, so we were there almost 2 weeks. I had several job interviews and we signed a very short lease on a home, all before the court date. When we flew back here we were legally separated, which means, by law 'free in bed and board' so bottom line is we were free to have sex with anyone. The documents are the green tab in the back. Qiao met us at the airport, it was almost prime time for her so we didn't waste it. She set a fucking schedule and kept us both naked in her penthouse to service her." I put some drama and duress in my voice and they all laughed at the image. "We tried again every month, and practiced also, but Yuan Jun Jui, the son Qiao wanted so much, did not come until July 2012, so we were not so lucky that time... or maybe, because we had to keep trying with Qiao's magnificent body, we were more lucky." Again, they laughed.

Qiao and Ying were blushing at that discussion, recalling the memory of how those 36 hours in April 2011 went. Ying was my eager teaser, Eva kept Qiao stimulated. To make more time available, Qiao had a helicopter take me from her penthouse to school for my first class after spring break. Ying came alone the next weekend, she wanted some loving and I could not afford to give her or Eva any of my sperm during Qiao's prime time. So they both got lots of attention that weekend.

Eva said, "Because of the kids we did not travel that often, kids and copters can be a problem. Qiao and Ying often came here for weekends. We all had lots of fun together. Qiao mainly keeps Yuan with her. Hui lives here since she goes to school with our kids. Yuan is now in a private school, but next year Qiao might move in here on a three-quarter time basis during the school year.

"So, you were not really married when you first met me and spent some intimate time with Mother," Dee said. "I wondered about that at the time, because of what you said."

"That is true. We were not married, but nobody knew it, because we kept our rings on while we lived and acted married for a time. The Pope is no longer involved in divorce, it is not really news. It was coincidence that one day, we both stepped across the line."

Eva said, "That was the convention when you met Dee. I did the army recruits, we had a plan and we talked about it in general terms, but the army called them up early, so I could not clear it with Trevor before the boys showed up. Damn army!"

I said, "Yes, in August 2013. Actually, Eva could have started having other guys the day we filed for divorce in 2011. But between the kids and me and our Chinese friends, she was too busy and never got to it. The first time she went solo was also the day I met Dee and became reacquainted with Dee's mother. There was some missed communication relating to a convention I go to each year. That day she had a gang-bang, initiating a bunch of local boys with no sexual experience who were about to go into the army. Her patriotic duty. I saw some of it but I didn't want to disturb it. So I decided to see if this woman I met in high school was still there. She was... with a 14 year old surprise."

"You both stepped out for the first time on the same day?" Barb said. "Was that planned?"

"No, but..." I said.

"... it was about time," Eva said. "We both had permission. I had talked in general terms about the boys, and I expected he would eventually do somebody at a convention."

Dee giggled, she loves it when we finish each other's sentences. Until she moved in with us she had no idea what a loving couple was like, as there were none in her home.

Greg said it. "You talked about everybody in a town having been at those 'Chaucer-era' marriages, and how divorce in those days was impossible. But now, these days, one has no idea if a couple is married or not. Sort of like Finland or Iceland, one of those countries has unmarried couples outnumbering married couple by over 2 to 1."

I agreed. "Yes, I wondered if somebody would twig to that, it is not yet the norm here. In Scandinavia marriage is almost obsolete because so many couples are not married, both getting together and breaking up are easier. I do worry about the kids; our marriage would not work if somebody married by impulse. It took thought, planning and communication. In China the marriage age is 25 now, maybe they have something there. Here both weddings and divorces are essentially ingrained in society as excuses for expensive parties, quite a switch from "what God hath joined..." Fancy bridal magazines tell women they must have the grandest wedding with all the extras, and it is because of the parties that everybody knows about their neighbors. The poor can't do that so there is a lower barrier for thoughtful consideration. We have a lot of one-parent families where that was not the plan, only the independence my father despised."

Dee asked, just to clarify for the others, "Does that mean you are not married now?"

"Yes," we both said together. Dee giggled again because she knew this story.

Barb chirped in. "That seems like a bad idea, with the kids and such..."

Greg added, "... also your pension! Isn't that at risk for Eva? I mean, men die first, and you are older besides."

"We are not quite at the end of the story," I said.

Eva said, "It bothered us when we made our plans. The original roadmap called for us to get remarried on our 20th or 25th anniversary, we figured I might slow down and settle before the retirement home. Before that point we used life insurance for protection. In any event, we would live as a married couple, but we had a pretty low hurdle for me if I wanted to slut with others, or if he wanted something on the side. Still, we had rules, and trust. My mother, before she gave up on marriage, married eight times, and wore her wedding dress with some guys more than once... like Liz Taylor, actually. But yes, we knew it was a risk."

I took over. "Then something changed, a new shortcut rather than a detour, and the something was gay marriage." Boy, that got their attention. "As it got more popular some states, including Wisconsin, passed constitutional amendments saying that marriage was 'between one man and one woman.' When Obama was running for President, he often repeated the line, especially in black churches where it resonated, he needed their votes and they had issues with the liberal agenda, including gay marriage. But there is a problem in terms of equity, especially when you are talking about the state as the employer. So a backlash had many states, including Wisconsin, passing same-sex domestic partnerships laws that gave partners some of the economic rights of marriage."

Greg had been reading about these. "In states like California, domestic partnerships have to be the same sex or one partner has to be old, like a man caring for an elderly aunt."

"That is true in California, some of those laws came before 2015 when the Gay Marriage opinion came down from the Supreme Court. Now, this is critical. In Wisconsin, the same-sex requirement has always been part of the domestic partnership law. However, there were some cases where opposite-sex couples were allowed to register as domestic partners when the county clerks, mainly in liberal counties like Dane and Milwaukee, "made mistakes." Those opposite-sex partnership mistakes were allowed to stand. Then after the Gay Marriage Supreme Court opinion became the law of the land, some county clerks declared that their reading of the opinion nullified Wisconsin's same-sex requirement - that is a reasonable but not universal view - and they openly allowed opposite-sex couples to become domestic partners. County clerks are elected, so nobody can fire them when they go outside the lines drawn by the law. The same forms were used for two men or two women or one of each. It was a county-by-county thing. Forbes magazine actually suggested domestic partnerships as a replacement for conventional marriage. You may recall, I took a one semester visiting professorship and was in Milwaukee from January to August of 2017, because of the waiting period. Dee, could you look at the gold tab?"