A Love to Last Ch. 05

"What's not fair is us trying to deny what we feel? What's not fair is you denying me. Do you know how painful that is for me?"

Ben felt tears building in his eyes. "I don't feel anything for you, David. And I'll appreciate it if this is the last time you'll call me to meet me. Because next time I won't come."

With a groan, he furiously turned and started rushing out of there but...

"Then explain this!" David hollered, making Ben stop.

Ben made a quick turn but just froze there with his mouth gaped, uncertain whether to scream or breathe. His mouth opened and closed without making a sound. His skin lost all color, becoming chalk-white. His hands twitched spastically and his stomach contracted in a tight ball.

"My life changed when I spent a passionate with this handsome stranger. I don't understand how I grew so connected despite not knowing anything about him, don't even know if I want to. But I am afraid to admit that one passionate night made me fall in love with a stranger."

David extended his hand and showed the paper he held in his hand. Ben didn't need to look at it to know what he had. It was his own words. He had written that on the sketch he had made of the man he had spent his passionate night with. He just didn't understand how David got ahold of it.

"Those are your words." David said excitedly, getting closer. "This confirmed to me that I am not the only one that felt something that night. You're in love with me too and I don't understand why you keep denying, why you left that day and why you're hurting me."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He gasped.

"This is yours, isn't it? It fell from your bag the other day in the bathroom once again proving that the universe wants us to be together." David got closer and looked in the boy's eyes. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"That's not mine." Ben lied.

"Then why do you look so shocked?" David asked. "Why are you pale? Why are you shaking?"

"I don't know what you're talking about?"

"This sketch is from the portrait in my room. The one you were looking at that night." His face was so serious. "I remember what you said that night. You loved the portrait and you got every detail quite right."

"I have to go."

Ben was walking so fast David had to increase his pace following him.

"Why are you running from me?" He asked anxiously. "Why did you leave that night?"

Ben tried to shield his ears but he could still hear the man talking. He tried to increase his pace but David was right behind him.

"Is it that you're scared of love? Are you afraid of love?"

Ben shook his head. "Please stop!"

"Tell me? What are you scared of? Why is it that you left that night? If you love me then why did you leave?"

"Stop it!"

There was a scream from deep within that forced its way from Ben's mouth. It was as if his terrified soul had unleashed a demon. He turned and almost bumped into the man. He didn't know where the anger came from.

"Okay, I love you. I haven't stopped thinking about you. Are you happy now?"

The thin like of David's brow jumped in surprise and his eyes bulged from their sockets. His lips pulled back in a wide, beaming grin. His hands flailed before he dove in for a hug. He was so excited that he felt like he was about to explode from all the adrenaline.

"I knew it." He said excitedly. "I knew I wasn't the only one that felt this way, Ben. I..."

"Now that you know, does it change anything?" Ben's voice was barely above a whisper, filled with so much pain.

David pulled away from the hug, staring at the boy like he'd grown another head.

"I don't understand."

"Does you knowing about my feelings change anything? Does it change the fact that you have someone in your life who in this case is my brother?"

"It doesn't." David took his hands and held them sweetly. "But we can change that. You're the one I love. I want us to come to everyone and tell them the truth before it's too late. Please..." He kissed his hands. "...you and I can be together. We can happy."

"No!" Ben shook his head and withdrew his hands. "It is too late for that. Have you ever wondered why I left that day and never showed myself to you again?"

David was confused. "Why?" His voice was so low.

"Because I was scared." He chuckled bitterly. "When I woke up that morning in your arms, I felt so horrible because that was against my principles. I lost my virginity to a stranger and I panicked. I was devastated and I wanted to forget but every night, I had the same dream and slowly I realized that I was in love with you."

He slowly turned his back to David and fought his tears.

"The portrait was in my head and I... slowly but with time drew it to the finish. It was the only thing that I had to remind me of the wonderful time I spent with you."

David felt so much pain. "Why didn't you come back? Did you think I would have not accepted you?"

"No!" He felt a tear going down his cheek. "On the contrary, I could remember every word that you said to me that night. I knew exactly where you lived but I had no idea who you were. I could have come back but I decided to bury whatever feelings I had."

By then, his face was wet. He didn't know how to explain it to David but he felt he owed it to him to tell him the truth.

"I've only been in love once and it was the most beautiful thing that happened to me in a long time." He chuckled in pain. "Brandon showed me that despite my being an illegitimate son, someone looked beyond that and saw me for who I really am.

I thought he was the one and for a short while, we were very happy. But then I discovered that the boy I loved was hurt because of me and he had almost lost his life in the process. He hated me so much and never wanted to do anything with me. Before I had a chance to talk to him again, he was gone and left my heart in pieces."

He sniveled. "I never thought I'd be in love again until that night when I met you. I was once again heartbroken. The only things I had to remember my mother by got destroyed and in such circumstances, I met you. I didn't think I'd fall in love again but I did, with a stranger."

He turned and faced the man again.

"I love you, David, I am not gonna deny that." He tried rubbing his tears but his face got wet in a second again. "But I believe is not for me."

"Why?" David asked with tears in his eyes. "Because you're still in love with your first love?"

"No!" He shook his head. "Because I cannot bear to see someone I love suffer because of me again. It will kill me. Once was enough and I don't want trouble. That's why I packaged my feelings and focused on my feelings. I never thought I'd meet you again until that day at your introduction dinner."

"But we're both here, we've found each other." His voice was rough with pain. "We can fight for our love. I love you and you just confessed that you love me too. It's not too late."

Ben managed to grin through the pain. "You're a good guy, David, and I can see your love for me in your eyes. But I am sorry for doing this. I am sorry if my decision is going to break your heart."

"What are you saying?" David cried softly, grabbing Ben's hand. "You and can be together."

"No, we can't. Not even if I wanted to. My brother..." He sobbed uncontrollably. "...he loves you so much. He is happy with you. I've never seen him so much in love with anyone before. I have never seen him invest in someone like he does with you. That's not the love I'd want to destroy even if I wanted to, David."

"No!" David wailed, kissing Ben's hands. "Please, don't say that."

"I love you, David, and I don't know when or how it happened. Believe me when I say that this is not going to be easy for me." He moaned in pain. "I love you and I never thought that I'd love someone again. But I can't be happy if I know that there is one person who is going to suffer. There is one person who will get hurt. My brothers love you and he needs you more."

Complete hopelessness converted into tears that rain down David's face at lightning speed. His lips trembled as he cried, making Ben feel like a horrible person.

"I love you." He said in between sobs.

"I know, this isn't easy for me too." Ben cupped David's cheeks and looked into his eyes. He couldn't imagine that someone like him could cry so much. "But you know this is the right thing to do. You and I had our moment and now you've got someone in your life."

"I can't!" He shook his head, trying hide his tears. "Please!"

"You can and you will." He tried to smile but failed horribly. "You're a strong guy and I thank you so much for loving someone like me. I highly appreciate it. But you've got an amazing guy in your life already, someone whom I know is gonna love you more than I ever will."

He stood on his toes and kissed the man's cheeks before he turned started rushing out of there. The wind whipped his hair back from his face as he rushed out of the beautiful park. Luckily for him, there were few people and they didn't even pay attention to him.

"Ben!" David screamed at the top of his voice.

He dropped to his knees and cried like a baby as great sobs escaped him, and he covered his face with shaking hands. Tears spilt over and flowed down his face like a river escaping a dam. He was in so much pain that he felt like something was eating him, some sharp-toothed monster.

Meanwhile, Ben was already in a taxi on his way home and he couldn't help but cry. Moans escaped his lips through suppressed sound of hiccups. His vision was blurry, it was difficult for him to see. He was heartbroken and he didn't even think it would hurt that bad.

Was there any way for them to be together?

***

David opened the door to his room and closed the door behind him. He walked slowly towards his bed wishing his head would stop pounding the way it was. The world was spinning and he wanted to vomit, but yeah, he was okay. His head pounded, sharp and heavy.

He sat on his bed and rested his head in his hands and began to rub his temples, trying to massage away the headache. But how could it go? Ben's words were ringing in his head like they were on repeat and his head worsened with each word that he heard. He loved the boy but only got his heartbroken and the worst headache he'd ever experienced.

Suddenly, he felt arms wrapping around him and he jumped from the bed like a cat. That was when he realized that his room wasn't as bright as it always was. It was lit by several scented candles. He could smell the vanilla and there were rose petals all over his bed.

"Are you okay, baby?"

Jim was on his bed, wearing the sexiest nightwear he'd ever seen on a guy. It was see-through and he could see his tight brief inside. What the fuck, he thought as his eyes scanned the room. His headache got worse as he tried to figure out what the fuck was going on.

"You startled me." He said in a hoarse voice. "What's all this?"

Jim smiled as he rose and walked towards the handsome man. Reaching there, he wrapped his arms tightly around him and brought him closer. His breath smelt of Vanilla and his hair was loose and a bit wet.

"You can't tell, baby?" He asked as his lips got closer but David moved away. "This marks the beginning of our passionate night. Tonight, I get to feel that big, beautiful cock inside me. Tonight, I get to moan your name and be one with you."

His hands traced David's chest to his groin until he touched his crotch. But David jumped back to Jim's disappointment.

"What's wrong?"

"Not tonight." David shook his head. "I am not feeling well. I have a terrible headache and I am not in the mood for sex."

"But that's why I am here." Jim rushed to him and gripped his waist, pulling him closer. "I promise your headache will be gone by the time I am done with you. I will take away your troubles and..."

"Not tonight." David shook his head. "Go home!"

"No!" Jim wasn't gonna give up. "I had prepared this for us and we're gonna do this."

"No, please, understand."

He tried to move but Jim pulled him back. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He seethed. "You're pulling away and I don't like it. There's no way I am gonna waste all this so that you can reject me." He moved sexily with a horny face. "Am I not attractive? Come..." He moved his hand to David's buckle and began undoing it. "...I'll take care of you."

"Please!" David gripped his hand and stopped him. "Understand!"

"No!" Jim shook his head. "We're doing this." He continued unbuckling him despite his rejection.

"Jim!" David sighed in frustration.

"No, David!" He unbuckled the belt. "We're doing this and that's final."

"Jim?"

He unbuckled him and just when he began undoing the zip....

"Stop it!" David snapped, slapping his hand away. He felt a colossal rage surging in his chest.

To say Jim was surprised would be an understatement. He stared at the man that he no longer recognized, his breathing shallow and tears welling in his eyes.

To be continued...