A Man Alone

Tuesday arrived, the day Bruce had off, and I headed out at oh-dark-thirty. It was a pleasant enough drive with little traffic to contend with so early in the day. By the time I arrived at Bruce's apartment it had been light out for almost an hour. I hadn't seen but three vehicles on the way up, all of them heading out of the park.

I got out of my Jeep, walked to the door, knocked firmly, and waited for a response. After about twenty seconds I knocked again. No response. I was getting a little pissed. Where the hell was he? He knew when I would be arriving. I was about to really wail on the door when I heard movement inside. It took almost half a minute before the door slowly opened, and I saw someone I thought was Bruce. His eyes were bloodshot, his face drawn, and unshaven. He was wearing a pair of pants and an undershirt. He looked terrible, as if he hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep in several days.

He managed half a smile, "Adeela, I'm sorry, I overslept. Please come in and I'll get ready to go."

I followed him in, closing the door behind me. I half expected to see a pile of empty beer, or liquor bottles on the table, or kitchen counter. There were none. I sat down on the sofa while he disappeared into the bathroom. I heard water running, then the shower start, after a few minutes a drawer opened. After ten minutes Bruce appeared newly shaven, and showered wearing clean clothes. Only his bloodshot eyes gave a hint of his former haggard appearance.

"Sorry, Adeela. I didn't sleep well last night. The last time I looked at the clock was a little after three. I don't want you to think I wasn't looking forward to seeing you. I was."

I shrugged off my earlier irritation knowing I was experiencing some sleeplessness myself. Not living in a barracks environment was taking a toll on me, and perhaps it was part of Bruce's problem. I hoped it wasn't anything more serious, but I had heard enough stories from returning vets before my tour to know sometimes it took time to readjust to being stateside. In Bruce's case, it meant an adjustment to civilian life alone as well.

"Do you still want to show me around today, or would you rather spend time relaxing here?" I offered.

"I promised to show you some of the features of the park and I intend to keep it. I picked out a place I haven't gotten to myself yet. You know this is a big place and when you patrol a select subset of trails and roads you don't get to see the rest unless you do it on your own time."

"Okay, but I have something to show you. In fact, I'll drive if you'll let me."

"You can drive, I do enough of it. So, let's get going," as he picked up his backpack from the floor near the bookcase.

I looked at him in surprise. "Aren't you going to eat something before we leave?"

"Oh yeah, good idea."

He walked to the refrigerator and proceeded to take out half a sandwich in clear plastic wrap and a container of milk. So much for breakfast, I thought.

He turned to me with a smile. "I have more food in the backpack in case we get hungry before returning to Yosemite Valley for lunch. I also have a cooler of water to take with us. We need to keep properly hydrated on the trail. It's not rated as difficult, but it's still a hike in terms of elevation."

Now, this was more like the man I knew from the past, and I felt more at ease as we walked out the door to my Jeep. I turned to him with a smile, "What do you think of my wheels?"

"Nice, really nice. Why did you decide to buy something now?"

"I wanted to be able to get around without having to ask my family to use a car. Plus, I have transportation once I get to Twentynine Palms. That should make me pretty popular."

"I'm sure it will," he laughed as he placed the water cooler and his backpack behind the front seat. I walked around to get behind the wheel and watched as Bruce pulled out a map of the park. Then he leaned towards me and showed me where we were going. That definitely helped orient me as it gave me a general sense of direction from our starting point. A lesson I learned well in training when reading a map and using a compass to navigate across the landscape was important.

We hiked the trail for three hours and then went into a place called Degnan's Kitchen for lunch. Afterward, we drove the park road to enjoy the scenery which I found awe-inspiring. I could tell Bruce was in love with the place as he pointed out the trails he had hiked and some of the animals he had observed. I had been impressed with the plants and animals he had pointed out during our hike--I had no idea how much he knew about the ecology of the park until that morning. I dropped him off at his apartment and we shared a hug, stopping just short of a kiss despite the fact I would have liked one.

I arrived back at my parents' house after having enjoyed my time with Bruce. It was different than I expected as we got along well, and our shared time in the service served as a bond. I talked with my parents for a few minutes, then headed towards my bedroom after my mother handed me a letter that had arrived yesterday addressed to me.

At first, I was confused, who would write me a letter--my family members already knew I was home, and all were nearby. The writing was neat and when I saw Ahlum Marwat as the return address I knew who it was from--Ahlum had joined her family in Sacramento. Her own family had adopted the last name to fit into the business community; previously they had used only their first names as was custom while his brother in the states had selected another--Wardak.

I opened the letter and read it, finding her phone number on the bottom of the page. She was living with her father's brother and his family who had immigrated to the United States five years earlier. As I read the letter I detected hints of discord.

I remembered her father and mother died in a suicide bombing when she was fifteen and she had continued to run their shop on her own--much against custom as there was no male present to act as a protector. She had persisted by wearing a full face covering and remaining secluded from the outside world other than to shop for food. She had told me Taliban spies had almost caught her twice while shopping. Once, she was stopped and beaten when they did not like the response her father was ill, and unable to accompany her. They relented when she told them her brothers were in the hills fighting the infidels--a lie, but an effective one.

I immediately picked up my phone and called the number, "Ahlum, it's Adeela, I'm at home. Are you free to see me?"

I could hear the joy in her voice, "Adeela, yes. Thank you so much for calling me. I have wanted to thank you all these months for what you did for me. I am here, with family. I have a job in my uncle's shop and have learned many new things."

"So, shall I come to see you now?"

"Yes, please, but please come covered as my cousins, aunt and uncle are still of the old ways. It would be best if you spoke English and not Pashto."

I was knocking on the door twenty minutes later to an apartment located above a small general merchandise store in little Afghanistan, as it was called locally. I had donned my burka and scarf, showing only my face. The door opened slightly, a face peering out--that of a middle-aged man.

"I am Adeela, a friend of Ahlum."

The door opened to admit me, then closed again. My eyes adjusted to the light as a voice called out in Pashto I had arrived. I heard voices in Pashto as Ahlum appeared and introduced me in English to her aunt and uncle, then two male cousins. It was this last that puzzled me--why didn't she want me to speak in Pashto? Something didn't seem right. Then I could hear female voices from a back bedroom, at least three of them. The entire family was living in two bedrooms, a kitchen, a single bathroom, and a kitchen/dining area as if it were a house in Afghanistan.

After a few minutes, I suggested we go for a walk, so we could visit. The suggestion was met with a stern look from her uncle, and male cousins. Ahlum ignored the looks and told them in Pashto we would be back in a while as we would take a walk. One of her cousins took a step forward as if to accompany us as she covered her face. I saw her eyes narrow, her voice became hard. "I am not a dog to be walked."

The man stepped back with a glare, looking to his father, then back to her. "You will bring dishonor to our family."

She glowered back at him, "Is this a man I walk with? Am I not covered?"

I felt the tension. Now, I knew why she wanted me to speak only English. I pretended not to understand a word of their conversation.

Her aunt looked at her with a scowl. "You will be beaten for your insolence and disrespect, be prepared for your entry into womanhood tomorrow. It is past your time. Your parents should have taken care of it when you were younger. Now go, be with your friend. But you will pay for your disobedience to your family's wishes."

I felt my heart go cold. I knew what they were talking about--it could be only one thing.

We walked out the door and down the street before we said anything to one another. She turned to me with tears in her eyes, "Adeela, they are going to cut me. They don't know my parents refused to do it, and I dared not tell them. It was my cousin's wife who saw I was whole last week. She didn't say anything to me, but I heard them whispering during the night when they thought I was sleeping."

"Ahlum, do you have your legal papers?"

"No, my uncle took them and placed them into the store safe downstairs when I arrived. What am I going to do? I have nowhere to go. I would rather die than to remain with them."

I pulled out my cell phone as we found a bench to sit on in a nearby park. I sent a text message to someone I knew I could trust. I received a reply five minutes later.

"What time does your uncle open his store in the morning?"

"Seven o'clock. Why?"

"Is he always on time? Does he have someone else with him?"

"He is always on time. Most times he has Lajbar with him."

Tonight gather only those things most important to you into a single bag. We will get your papers in the morning. That's all you need to know. Are you sure you want to leave your family?

"You are asking me if I want to leave hell?"

"I must ask. You know once you leave you can never come back without male protection. I must not be associated with your disappearance as they may seek revenge against me, or my family."

I saw the anguished look on her face as she knew what I said was true.

"When we get back, we must appear not to be pleased with one another. Do you understand? I promise I will have a safe place for you to stay for a while. Then we will find a long-term solution. But you must wait at your door until you see me standing across the street when the store opens, then come quickly."

She gave me a frightened smile, "I knew you would help me. I have no one else."

"I know," as I placed my hand on her arm, "I know."

We walked back to her uncle's house and went inside. I put on a stern face once inside and Ahlum turned to me and spoke in English, "You do not understand our ways, our customs. You have been in this country too long. Go, I don't want to see you again, ever. I thought you were a true Pashtun, but you are not. Now leave."

I gave her a glare, then walked out the door hoping it had been convincing enough. I reached for my phone as I walked away, and made a call. Twenty minutes later I hung up knowing I had a plan in place. I got home and arranged what I needed, making sure there was enough gasoline in the car, and spare clothes in case I needed them. That night I went to bed after visiting with my parents, telling them I planned to hike in the mountains and would be leaving early.

I woke the next morning at five and headed to a small park ten minutes away. I pulled in and saw Bruce standing outside his car drinking from a Styrofoam cup. I scanned the area again, not a surveillance camera in sight. He smiled as I stepped out of my Jeep and looked at me, "Here we go again. I needed some excitement in my life as it was getting too boring. I checked for cameras and didn't see any."

"You're sure you're okay with this? You know it may not work the way we want it to. It's just the two of us."

"That's been enough in the past and it will be this time too," he replied confidently.

We got into my Jeep and headed into Little Afghanistan, parking a block away from the store. We walked along together in garb suggesting it was a man escorting a woman. We waited from across the street while watching for activity until we saw the door of the store swing open--the 'Closed' sign turned around to show 'Open'. We waited until we saw a woman appear at the door leading to the upstairs apartment.

She quickly walked to us and I led her towards my car as Bruce crossed the street and entered the store. Ahlum was shaking from fear, her eyes wide as we walked briskly away from her former life into an unknown future. I placed her bag behind the second row of seats as she settled into the back seat behind the driver's seat.

"Who was that with you?" she finally asked.

"Someone who wants you to be safe."

"Why would someone else want me to be safe? Someone who doesn't even know me."

"You will see," as I saw a man walking towards us at a fast pace. A block behind him two men appeared on the sidewalk, one of them hunched over as if trying to remove something from his legs. Bruce got in, turned the ignition, and we sped away at a legal speed. He handed a document filled envelope to me as he grew a broad smile. Then he looked into the rearview mirror, "Ahlum, it's nice to see you again."

I heard Ahlum gasp, "Staff Sergeant Sullivan, how did you? I mean why did you? You are here?"

"Marines are family. When one needs help, you come. Now, relax, it will be over two hours before we get to where you will be staying for a few days. How badly did they beat you?" I asked.

"You know?"

"I saw how you crossed the street with your bag. How badly?"

"I will heal, just some bruises. They didn't want me to be too weak for what they were going to do to me tonight."

I felt myself shudder at the thought of having my labia and clit removed after a brutal surgery. Cultures were so different from one another, women were seldom afforded their full measure of respect. But the one Ahlum had come from was difficult to understand even by me. I was second generation American, far enough removed to view it as a barbarous act when they accepted it as a normal part of life. Bruce and I had saved her once again, and I was grateful for the opportunity. Now, I hoped no one saw us close enough to try and track us down.

We stopped at the park where I met Bruce, placing Ahlum's bag into the back seat while Bruce got her into the front passenger seat of his car. We traded waves as I watched them drive away. I got my binoculars out and walked around the park looking into the trees once in a while. A short while later a police car pulled in to look at my car as I walked towards it.

"What's up?"

"Is this your car?" the officer asked, not smiling.

"Yes, why am I parked somewhere I'm not supposed to be? I didn't see a sign."

"No. Were you in Little Afghanistan this morning?"

"Yes, I was checking out the hours for the textile store. They weren't going to be open for another hour, so I decided to do some birdwatching until they open."

"Do you have some ID?"

I pulled my wallet out of my jeans pocket, extracted my driver's license, and military ID card, and handed them to him without a word.

"Active military?" as he continued to inspect the cards.

I didn't respond. He looked up at me with a frown as if I should have offered a comment.

"What! Do you want me to act like you're an idiot? You have two picture IDs with dates on them."

He glared at me, "Why do Marines always have an attitude."

"Why do you think? We aren't smart enough to know what we're doing. I just got back from a tour in Afghanistan. Where the fuck were you?"

He handed my ID's back, got into his cruiser, and left without another word. I smiled to myself--I liked it when a plan worked. I opened the door of my car and got in, not much chance they would check my phone records, and if they did we had a cover story to explain the calls I had made.

What would the police think? No money was taken, just some papers from the safe were thrown around the store, and maybe if the men had gotten in the way they might have gotten knocked around a little bit.

I wasn't too worried. Ahlum's male relatives weren't going to be too cooperative with the police--Afghan men viewed non-Pashtun as inferior. Then, there was the fact they'd been accosted and overcome by a lone man--it wasn't something they would want their neighbors to get wind of. Someone else must have reported the incident and the presence of a red car.

I went home after going back to the textile store to buy a scarf--just a little insurance. It would make a nice gift for Ahlum anyway.

***** Ahlum

I had been silent for the most part, wondering what my life held for me now. I was in a car heading for Yosemite National Park with a blue-eyed ex-Marine. Me--a twenty-one-year-old Afghan woman now struggling to find a life for herself outside her family and culture.

"Staff Sergeant Sullivan, why did you do this?"

"Because you needed help. Ahlum, please, call me Bruce. I'm not in the Marines any longer."

"Bruce...l...Bruce, it seems strange to say that name. It will take me a while to get used to."

"Ahlum, are you frightened? You have been silent since we left Adeela."

"Yes, I have little money, no place to live, and no job. I am lost. I am free, but not free."

"You will stay with me for a while until we get a better plan. I have plenty of money for food and other things you will need. We will find a job for you if you wish. In fact, I already have an idea where you might work inside the park if you decide you want to do that. They placed a notice for cashiers in the main concessionaire store two days ago. We can start there once we decide if you need to stay longer than a few days, does that sound okay?"

I didn't know what to say for sure. Getting into the United States from Afghanistan had been a miracle in a period of but a month, and now I had moved on again. My uncle and aunt had been supportive at first, and I had made an honest attempt to fit in when I first moved in with them. But soon they began to demand I dress in traditional garb and cover my face rather than just a headscarf as if I were back home in Afghanistan in the city.

I had already been looking for a job where I could make enough money to move into an apartment of my own to escape them when the talk of cutting started. That frightened me as nothing else had and my urgency to leave grew stronger. I knew my female relatives all had their external genitals altered--one of them had died from an infection afterward, and I vowed not to be like them.

I had seen the result several times and it made me cringe thinking it would happen to me. I was so thankful my parents had resisted having the procedure done to me and sent me to private school to learn English--away from the Islamic schools where there would have been more pressure.

"Yes, I think so," I replied in a submissive voice.

"Ahlum, I wish we could do better for you. But your call didn't give us much time to prepare."

"Please, I am thankful. I didn't have anyone else to go to. I learned from gossip Adeela was home only two days ago. I did not know of you until this morning."

"Are you frightened of me? Are you willing to share an apartment with me? I really don't want you to live in another kind of fear."

I had to admit I was concerned and at the same time, he had saved me. The memory of him as he approached me in his armor in Afghanistan as I sat on the rock along the trail with a gun pointing in my direction came back to me. I had feared him then, after being told not to move, or I would be killed. It had been terrifying to sit and watch as he drew near, walking towards me, looking closely, coming closer, and looking as if he should fear me. It was only when he asked me to step to him as I stood up from the rock that I saw his soft blue eyes looking at me in the swirling snow. The touch of his hand and the softness of his eyes told me I was safe with him then--I had seen those eyes again hours ago. They were not hard, as when he had talked with the men of my village.