All Comments on 'A Minute Thirty Ch. 02'

Keep buiilding it up!

Denise is definitely going to be a mother hen. I understand her wanting to protect Leila. Leila has to grow up and take care of herself. What is up with Denise's attitude? She seem a bit high strung. She appears to be one of those women that thinks that all men are garbage. Its still early in the story so I'm going to hold out hope that Denise is going through something to cause her to act this way.

Nisey and Finn, Please hook them up. put them together. Make him work for it. I really enjoyed this chapter.

Leila is a piece of work. How old is she 16? Rhetorical. How can she tell her sister that it's her life and basically to stay out of her business when she went running to Denise when she got kicked out. Her sister had to take her in AND pay for her ruined belongings, that gives her the right to say whatever she wants. In my book if you take someone's generosity and money, you get to hear the speech that goes with it. Instead of getting all wet for a guy she just met, she should think about the baby who's a result of her own carelessness. She can't even buy her own clothes, whose going to take care of the baby? Denise, Colin???

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I can see Leila's going to be all about drama. Keep the story going and let the games begin. lol

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Welcome aboard as a Lit writer :-)

Good story so far, but could we please retire the the phase 'grown ass' it sounds stupid.

Leila has NO redeeming qualities!

Really liked the first one and this is ok but if I wanted "days of our lives" soap I'd watch it on TV. 3*

Denise gets on my nerves. I get that she's helping Leila and everything but she's going too far. It's one thing to be there for your sister but it's another thing to ridicule and coddle them because of their mistakes. One time is enough. And Leila is not in the best of circumstances so it's understandable that she isn't happy or charming all the time, I wouldn't be either. Finn is too good for Denise because she is arrogant and stuck up. But I hollered when Finn said the girl looked like a foot, I truly did.

To make this story better, you need to stop making Leila and Denise so unlikable. I hate them, they are selfish and stuck up. They seem to think the world revolves around them and, from what you've written so far, they are incapable of seeing anything from any point of view other than their own. This is SUCH a good idea for a story, and you have a lot of ideas that are cool, but you need to develop these characters more. I have no sympathy for Leila because she seems like a little girl who is used to getting her way and expects everyone to do whatever they need to to please her even if it means sacrificing their own happiness. She's a little brat. Sorry if this is too harsh, I just want to tell you what I think would make the story way better. I hope you post more and I'll read it!

:-D <3 :-3

~Kathy~

Don't ask questions you don't want answers to especially if regardless the answer you do what you want

I like it so far.