A Painful Situation: Mark and Carol

Some have commented/criticized that my stories are too long.

Oh well

***************

Carol and I have been married for sixteen mostly wonderful years. We have a lovely fourteen year old daughter named Jenny. We initially wanted another child but Carol went on the pill right away and we both got involved with our jobs. We were both so happy with Jenny, eventually we felt like we didn't need another child. I love my family so much and thought we created a loving marriage and a close relationship.

I've always felt lucky to have an intelligent, attractive wife. But sometimes I wondered if having such a pretty wife would lead to some difficulty. I was always amazed and delighted that such a beautiful woman decided to marry an average looking stiff like me.

Whenever I brought this up Carol would laugh.

"I guess I just felt sorry for you Mark. You looked so dejected when I met you that first time I just had to cheer you up."

"Well you sure did a great job at that." I'd reply smiling, "After I met you I've never felt dejected again. I love you."

"I love you too Mark."

That teasing banter always got a big laugh from both of us.

But lately I've been thinking seriously about her answer. She was correct you see, that I was depressed when Carol and I first met. I'd just broken up with my long time girlfriend from college. Yeah, I was dumped. I cared for her a lot. When she wanted to break up I was very down in the dumps. We'd been going together for three years and the breakup hit me hard. I found out later she met another guy from her home town and wanted to pursue a relationship with him.

There was no cheating involved, and she always said she had fun with me when we were together. But she was soon leaving the area to return home, and didn't want to maintain a long distance relationship. In fact she had met this guy a couple months before, during a break in our classes. She said they hadn't had sex but she was interested, and decided to break up before cheating on me. I guess I respected her for being honest, although it still hurt.

Before I met Carol I finished college with an accounting degree, got a job right away and started my career as a single man. I dated a few girls, but never met anyone I really cared for. My sex life was infrequent. None of the women from work turned me on. I partied with some friends after work. But my career was my life, and in a couple years I was making pretty good money.

It was by chance that I met my future wife. I was invited to a friend's house for a party. My friend Jim Simpson, who I've known since my college partying days, and his wife Martha kept trying to set me up a few times with some eligible females. It was at one of these house parties that I met Carol.

She was introduced to me at the party and we hit it off. Carol's a tall, vivacious natural blonde, with a pretty face and a slender but shapely figure. Jim pointed her out and said she, like me had broken up with her boyfriend and was available. She was so pretty that I found that hard to believe. Why would any guy in his right mind break up with a beautiful woman like her?

Carol was pleasant and told me she's an art major and was graduating soon. She was not only beautiful and intelligent, but funny, out going and very easy to talk to. We ended up chatting for most of the party. She agreed to meet me the next weekend and we began dating. Soon we had sex and became an item. Not long afterward we were a couple. At first Carol made it clear she was still dating other guys. But after a few months we became exclusive. At least I was. It took her a little longer before I knew she had only eyes for me.

I was already a CPA when I met Carol and established in my career. I think the fact that I was making good money, and could afford to take Carol to places her previous boyfriends never could, was a big factor in her decision to marry me. I know being financially stable was important to her, and when I showed her my new home, my sports car, and took her to nice restaurants, she was impressed. I'd like to think it was my good looks and charm that attracted her. But being honest, I knew that I was only average looking and kind of reserved, certainly not a stud.

I believe she enjoyed our love making. I know I did. I found out she was a lot more sexually experienced than I, and had dated a lot of guys before me. In my mind, once we were married it was forever and those guys were history. She told me they were in her past, that she loved me and only me. I accepted her answer completely and not longer afterward I asked her to marry me. When she said yes, it was the happiest day in my life.

Jim Simpson had been a friend of mine for years. We played on a few sports teams and partied together. We lived in the same town and met up regularly to drink and hang out. Jim was married at the time. But when his marriage to Martha began to fail, I tried to help him get over his divorce. I found out later that he had been cheating on Martha and she found out about it. She hired a shark of a lawyer and took my best friend to the cleaners.

Jim's a handsome guy, loud and bigger than me. Once he was single and we went out together I could see that women were attracted to him. He did date some really sexy chicks, even bringing them over to our house for parties and dinner.

None of his relationships lasted longer than a few months. Carol and I talked about his problems and she was the one that pushed me to keep inviting him over to our house. She kept telling me that Jim was down in the dumps about his life and needed our support. That didn't seem to fit because I knew for a fact that he didn't need any help to get dates. Carol was insistent that we remain good friends and help him get over the bad memories of his divorce.

I often told Carol she didn't need to worry about him so much. I didn't want to unfairly characterize my friend, so I never mentioned that he was a liar, a cheater and probably deserved the divorce. I brought up that Jim was a good looking single guy with a well paying job and told her how women seemed to flock to him everywhere we went.

She disagreed. Carol said he just hid his depression about his failed marriage; that he was our friend and we couldn't let him down. I guess I just went along with her opinion and kept up our friendship. He was my best friend for years and the truth is I was happy to have him around.

That was the situation for a number of years. However in last few months things began to change. As usual Jim came around quite often and as had been the case for some time. But Carol increasingly kept bringing up his supposedly fragile emotional condition.

It was strange because Jim didn't seem depressed at all. But she'd been like this for so long I considered it a normal topic of conversation. However, when things grew even stranger around our house I became suspicious.

I was working harder than ever as an accountant. But over the last couple years my career had stagnated. I hadn't gotten the promotion I deserved. I still had a number of important clients and was still making decent money. And I was still providing Carol, Jenny and I a good living. Carol was also working part time at an art studio making a small income. So our finances, while not improving too much, were still on a sound footing.

The problem was that after ten years at my firm, I wasn't making the money I thought I should, considering the long hours I had to put in. I hoped for another raise to make up the shortfall. But when the economy took a downturn, upper management decided to have a series of layoffs. I kept my job but my salary was cut. Luckily Carol was still working and our life style at that time was pretty conservative.

The problem arose when I told my wife we'd have to cut our expenses. When I informed her that we'd have to cancel our annual vacation she was shocked. I explained the situation and told her in addition to cutting our vacation, we'd have to cut back on a few other luxuries such as going out so often. At the time we usually went out every weekend to dinner, dancing or to a show.

Carol didn't understand why after working so many years our finances were in such a bad state. I went on to explain to my dubious spouse that my income had dropped and my prospects for a promotion, in the short term, were not good.

Carol had always enjoyed an active social life. She had lots of friends (some of which were rather snobby), she loved to dress up and enjoyed attending expensive social engagements. In the past I reluctantly went along with her wishes when she'd accept invitations to some gala. But with my diminished income, the rather large mortgage, the car payments, and my responsibilities to our daughter's education fund, we had to cut back somewhere.

Carol was not pleased when I informed her that we could no longer maintain our lucrative life style. She was flabbergasted when I suggested canceling going to some of the expensive restaurants with her friends.

Of course that conversation led to an argument, and eventually a big fight over our future. At first I didn't think it was unusual when my friend Jim was around during some of these arguments. He was coming over to our house several times a week at the time. So it was inevitable he'd witness some of these discussions.

It was rather awkward when he seemed to favor Carol's side of the argument. He wasn't obvious about it. As Carol and I would discuss our issues he'd listen for a bit. Then offer an occasional comment which on the surface seemed to be conciliatory. But when I thought about it later, he seemed to always agree with Carol.

When I brought up canceling outings with our friends, Carol turned to Jim and asked how he felt about it. The big guy would act thoughtful, but eventually would agree with Carol. He would reiterate her arguments and even offer to help us out with our finances if needed.

I didn't like that answer. He went on to offer to drive if we wanted to go out somewhere. If Carol and I wanted to go to a club that had a cover charge, Jim even offered to pay whatever fee was required. If we're invited to a party, he'd pay for some sort of gift if necessary, so we wouldn't have to go with empty hands.

I thanked him, but said no thanks. I want to make my wife happy. But I was irritated that he always offered to come to our financial rescue. I knew he could afford helping us out. He had left his previous job and was now working in some sales job, apparently doing quite well.

One evening Carol invited Jim over for dinner without telling me, which happened quite regularly now. As usual she was a great hostess. We enjoyed a pleasant conversation as we finished the delicious dinner Carol cooked.

After our daughter left to do her homework, we retired to the living room and opened a bottle of wine. We barely poured our wine and sat down before Carol reminded me of the upcoming annual Charity event. I'd forgotten about it although it was something we went to every year.

I listened to her telling how many of our friends would be there and how nice the event was. I already knew about this event and also how much it would cost to get in. When I explained that we couldn't afford any sort of party this month Jim suddenly spoke up. He said he understood my reluctance, but that this event was for charity and it would be a shame not to contribute in some way.

Carol eagerly listened to him with a look of delight on her face. When my friend offered to assist us with the cost Carol was elated. I however was pissed. He was well aware of our financial situation, and my feelings on the subject. I guess I expected my best friend to support my decision but that wasn't the case.

Carol listened silently to my objections. Then she shot me a glare and glanced over at Jim. They shared a look that immediately raised my suspicions.

"Come on Mark." Jim said pointedly. "You know this is an annual event and one that we've never missed. It'd be a shame not to go over just a few bucks."

We'd been going for years, and I was also disappointed. But I knew that we needed to keep our expenses down so we could afford the large mortgage payment that month.

"We just have to go sweet heart." Carol insisted patting my hand. "I know it will be a little tight. But everyone we know will be there."

Jim chipped in, "You know the guys would love to see you Mark. I know they're all looking forward to it. It'll be a blast!"

Before I could reply Carol squealed, "We had so much fun last year remember honey?"

I shook my head no and Carol scowled.

With a determined glare she said, "I'm serious Mark. We have to go Honey. All our friends will be there and I've already spoke to Mary and Gwen. I don't want them to think that we don't contribute to charity."

Everyone wants to give to charity. But I was thinking that if we don't get our finances together, we'll be the ones that have to accept charity.

"Its just not in the budget this year." I told them flat out. "Maybe next year."

"But it'll be a blast." Jim said smiling.

"Of course it will." Carol said. She pouted and turned to Jim, "But darn it. Mark just doesn't want to go."

Jim questioned my decision again. Before I could answer my wife began to complain about how cheap I was. Nothing she said was a secret. I had been holding back on some of our expenditures. She turned her attention t Jim and listed several times she couldn't do what she wanted because I refused.

"You see Jim." She said to him, ignoring me. "I'm trying to enjoy a great social life, but Mark's not letting me. He's getting cheap in his old age."

Carol made me sound like a disagreeable old man. I tried to reply calmly but it was difficult.

"I'm not cheap Carol. Just realistic. Despite what you think, we're in a bit of a slump. Spending money we don't have is just stupid. In our situation I don't want us to over extend ourselves."

"But think of all the good that we can contribute honey."

Jim quickly added, "You know its a charity event, right Mark?"

"Of course I do." I exclaimed in exasperation. "But its 75 dollars a plate! Then there's the parking fee at the club! And after an expensive dinner that we can't afford there's the charity auction. We'll be expected to bid on over priced items that we'll never use. Charity or not, we can't afford it."

That led to an acrimonious discussion about my diminished position at work and my reduced salary. Jim already knew some of it. But they were sensitive issues I wanted to remain private because I was rather embarrassed about it.

Carol smelled blood and was really venting now. She complained openly to Jim about her disappointment with me and frustrations with our life style. I didn't want her to divulge any of that stuff, but it was too late. I admitted we had to cut back expenses to make sure Jenny's education was taken care of and we could make our mortgage payments. I hoped that would put some sense of reality into my wife. But she was unsympathetic.

"See what I mean?" Carol sneered, gazing hopefully at Jim. "He always comes up with some dumb excuse not to go out."

I was pissed. These two were openly ganging up on me, countering my arguments and totally dismissing my concerns. Carol was gazing hopefully at Jim, waiting for him to say something to support her. Jim glanced at her and then looked at me with a sympathetic look.

"Well Mark, why don't I cover you then." He quickly offered. "I don't want to go by myself, and I have the cash. Its not a problem. I'd be my pleasure to take you and Carol out to this event. You know we always have fun. I'd be disappointed if you weren't there. After all, you've been there for me for the past year after my divorce. So in a way, I'll be paying you back. I'd love to take you both to keep me company. I'll drive and even pay for the baby sitter too."

"Really!!" Carol squealed, elated he was coming to her rescue. "Oh gosh Jim! That's wonderful! Thank you so much!"

Before I could reject his offer she ran around the table, hugged the guy and kissed him, crying repeatedly, "Thank you Jim, thank you!"

I was steaming. Not just about Jim contradicting my decision but also by Carol's gleeful reaction to his offer. She cared nothing about my opinion and practically threw herself at him. Right now she was gushing openly like he was her savior. I shot Jim a look of disapproval as Carol continued to hug him.

Carol squealed and Jim bashfully accepted her praise, while I sat across the table feeling angry and disgusted. Despite what Carol said, I had no intention of accepting anyone's charity, even if it was from a friend. I was most put off by Carol's exuberant, physical response. By now Jim had his arm around her waist as she kissed his cheek and hugged him warmly.

In no uncertain terms I quickly rejected his offer. My pride wouldn't let me accept a handout from anybody. They stopped hugging and Carol considered me coolly.

"Come on Mark." Jim said, "Don't be upset." Noticing my dark expression he told me with a smile, "Lets just go to that thing and have some fun. We can worry about the money later."

"No way damn you. I'm serious about this."

Carol declared, "Oh just be quiet Mark! You can pout about this all you want. But we're going and that's final."

"We'll see about that."

She looked at me like I was crazy. She got a weird look on her face, shook her head and pulled away from Jim's embrace. Then she trotted to the kitchen, grabbed her cell phone and called up one her friends.

With Carol in the other room, Jim and I sat there in silence. I glared at him across the table as we both heard my wife in the other room chattering away. He looked a little uncomfortable as Carol chatted giddily with her friend.

"Oh yes we're going! I told you we would!" She cried into the phone. "Oh yeah I know! Well not really, but I told you we were going. I know what you thought girl but knew Jim would come through for us. He's been such a good friend. No I don't think so. But you know how we can..."

Her voice suddenly slipped to a lower volume to where I couldn't hear her anymore. Then Carol peeked into the living room and glanced over at me with a smug look. She spoke quietly into the phone as she headed back into the other room for privacy.

After that confrontation the friendship Jim and I shared was broken. I thought as my buddy he would have taken my side. But he didn't seem to be bothered about ignoring me. He tried a few times to explain that he just wanted Carol and I to have a good time, so I should just accept it. In my mind he had taken sides, and it wasn't with me.

A while later my wife came back into the room with a huge smile on her face. She once again thanked Jim, hugging him and kissing his cheek. It seemed a bit over the top to me when she didn't seem to want to leave his embrace.

I told them again that we're not going, and that was my decision. Jim tried to intervene and Carol kept hugging him, informing me that she was going and wouldn't hear of it. I kept shaking my head no. But both Jim and my wife weren't listening. I guess they were determined to use the time before the event get me to change my mind. Looking back, that argument may have been the beginning of the end of my once happy marriage.

The week before the Charity event was frosty in our house. Even our daughter Jenny noticed the deep freeze. She was fourteen, but she wasn't stupid. She knew about the Charity event and knew there was a simmering issue between Carol and I that wasn't being resolved.

"What's the matter Dad?" She asked one day when Carol was out of the room. "I know that you and Mom are arguing about something."

"She wants to accept charity and I don't want to."

"Charity? You mean welfare or something?"

"Not exactly. But it might as well be welfare." I told her. "I wasn't brought up to depend on anyone. Its a matter of pride Darling. Once you start taking money from people, its hard to stop. I've never accepted charity in my life and don't intend on starting now."