All Comments on 'A Perfect Month of June'

One star for everything that includes the words “the lifestyle.”

WTF was that? Apart from more pathetic cuck shit.

There's a decent story here, but you need to tighten it up some-- it's kind of disjointed. 3/5.

Not even a GREAT editor could have saved that mess. Start all over.

Two criteria:

Was the writing of such quality that leaders of writers' workshops would find it sufficient to pass muster re grammar, usage, mechanics, syntax and all those little elements that let the story flow from point to point? Verdict: Yeah, probably, so give it a 4.

Was there sufficient logic in the plot development that the average reader could suspend "believability" such that the story could be accepted on the basis of it being an erotic fantasy and not some mishmash of strands that wandered off into the woods and got lost, never to be found again?

Verdict: Well, no...not even with the most charitable analysis. So, give it a 2--which lets the average come down to 3.

You've written better--but, as Legio said earlier there's a decent story waiting in this one; please revisit and let it out. And thanks for sharing your creative imagination.

Where's the story?

She's a cheating slut. He can't believe a word coming out of her mouth. Did he ever think about STD's or worse? And that "tit for tat" was just piling on as far as mistakes go? Time to get a divorce, admit you made a mistake and move on with his life. Lesson learned.

This story reads like the narrator, and characters were on speed or have had way too many energy drinks!

Cyz ktos zrozumiał o co chodziło autorowi, mysle ze on sam tez nie wie tego