A Summer at the Farm Ch. 15

"Neither did I... Honestly."

He looked at me with puppy eyes which were very unlike him.

Nobody talked for a while until he asked me:

"Are you gay?"

"No!" I said, outraged. Which was silly given my recent behaviour. "I... Well, I did not think that I could be attracted to any other guy before coming here. I love your daughter. And I've always liked girls."

Joe chuckled.

"Maybe the farm tends to turn people then..."

"I don't think it's the farm." I responded seriously.

"What is it then?"

"It's you, Joe. I... The way you are, the way you look. I... I've tried to get over it but... I... I could not stop thinking about your cock, and giving it a try, at least once in my life... I admire you so much. I felt like you wanted it too... By doing it at the glory-hole, at least, there was no reason to feel guilty on your part."

"You're a good kid... But there was no wall today." He remarked.

I sat by his side.

"I know... But maybe it's not that bad? At least, we did not harm anyone."

"I suppose... We were just playing games, right?"

"Yes! Men need to release themselves or they become mad. It doesn't need to mean anything besides that." I added.

Joe seemed very conflicted.

I was not sure I truly believed in what I was saying myself.

All this time, I thought that he was detached and careless, but maybe I was wrong, maybe he had been torturing himself over the past few weeks, just like me.

Did he think about the "gay incidents"? Did he think about my ass as much as I was thinking about his cock?

"I should not have called you a trickster, I know what I did... I played with fire." He admitted.

"We were both in this together, we still are."

He put his hand on my thigh.

Fuck, my face was still dripping with cum, not the best circumstances to have such a heavy talk.

"Blake... I'm just thinking..."

He leaned over to pick Olivia's picture and he put it back on the nightstand, only, he turned it over so we could not see her face anymore.

Talk about symbolism...

"Yes?"

He sighed.

"Look, if we're just having fun, and if this doesn't have to mean something... Maybe... Maybe we could remember that what Liv does not know cannot hurt her."

I gulped.

"Hurting your daughter is the last thing that I want."

"Good. We're on the same page then."

It was my turn to put my hand on his thigh.

I knew I had to give it a chance. I could not let go of Joe now. Not after what had just happened.

"It's just one summer, and London is very far away."

Joe nodded yes.

"It is..."

He smiled at me.

"What she does not know won't hurt her." I repeated.

That was the tipping point, when we crossed the Rubicon.