All Comments on 'A Surprise For Mr Pickle, 750 Words'

It would be a decent story, if it weren't such an obvious selfish fantasy. A good story strikes a balance between pleasurable fantasy and believability.

Ha ha

Not sure what a selfish fantasy is. If you mean personal, then all fantasies, being a mental exercise, are personal and therefore selfish.

Haha, great twist, dumb guy. Fun little story. I was going to give it a four, but the ending gave me a laugh, so you got a five.

Got 'em! Nice one.

Fun story, well done dialogue and great response to “selfish fantasy” comment.

Surprise ending pulled it over the top and made me laugh. Nice twist, 5*.

Well done!

A fun quickie!

You very cleverly packed a lot into just 750 words: both a happy ending and a surprise ending :)

Just love this 5*

DP

An erotic Hors d’Oeuvre, adroitly presented. Compliments to the author!

OMG! What a twist! I loved the very hot story but the ending was a complete surprise. I had to read it twice to make sure I hadn't misread it!

Very well done indeed!

Cheers

SAGE

5 Stars! Well done, especially in so few words. And the surprise at the end was perfect.

Briney. Lovely, delicious, twisted short story.