All Comments on 'A White Tiger and The Wolf Ch. 05'

This chapter is so damn hot... its about time Kay and Bradley finally made love. Why is Paul keeping the truth from Kay and why does she have to wait for their uncle.

-c-

...But not a great one. there are still a few spelling-errors here and there, like "heel" where it should be "heal" as in healing. There were others as well, but i forgot what it was.

Other than that, great story, and keep on writing.

Dp we have to wait for the next chapter or are you going to leave us hanging waiting to find out what she is!!

alot better than previous chapters keep on writing

The chapters could be longer. But the story has hooked me, so I will watch for more.

I am so impressed with how far you have progressed as an author. Yes, the start is a little shaky but you have courage and temerity and you've kept on going. It's obvious you have taken in the feedback supplied by the readers and your editor is doing an excellent job guiding you.

No one is ever perfect when they first start writing. I love how obvious it is that you've put in such hard work to improve and bring your story to life. A great effort! You should be really proud of yourself. Keep writing! I am so looking forward to finding out just what Kay is though I think the title probably gives that away a little :-)

So much better now that you have an editor,still a few missed mistakes,but sooooooooooo much better than when you started.Keep up the good work!!!

the first three chapters were a nightmare to read, but as the Story board was interesting and you told, there would be an editor soon, I continued anyway.

Didn't regret it.

Keep on, but my advise would be to edit and co edit the story, might help as well to erase the last few mistakes. Dialogues are still sometimes a bit strange. You don't need to write xyz said.... abc said.... give the dialogue it's own flow: people reading it will be able to judge who said what in context.

But to cut it short for now: I like the story and will read the rest of it asap.

Yea, as far as punctuations go, much much better. As far as grammar and the flow of the story....a bit brutal. I actually got annoyed at all the "talking" in the sex scene(s). It got so annoying that I just scrolled right through it. (It's like reading bad porn.)

I love the overall plot of the story, but I think you might want to find another editor.

the story itself is wonderful, and i love it, but your dialogue needs a bit of work. instead of using said all the time, try 'asked' or 'replied' using sed too much isnt good for the overall flow of a story.

I do intend to continue reading, as you have captured my attention.

You should swap her 6 inch areoles with his 3 inches around cock. As you read it now, her areoles are half a foot wide and his cock, though long at 10 inches, is a needle dick at 3 inches around.

Cut a piece of paper three inches long and roll it end to end and you'll see what I mean.

Much better grammar. Just one thing, if she's a 36D (or even DD for that matter) six inch wide areola would cover most of her breast 3 or 4 inches is quite large. I'm guessing by some of your spelling that you aren't American, so I would either stick to centimeters or use google to convert (for example, if you type in "6cm equals how many inches?" And hit *search* it will tell you "6cm=2.36220472 inches")

I love this story, This is the 3rd time I am reading it. Just live some of my favorite books, good stories are so good to read more than once, Kudos awesome work

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