All Comments on 'Abandoned Rage'

WONDERFUL STORY! 10 stars is close. Jillian threw away the best think to happen to her, and a lady, down on her luck, picked him up and made him her husband, before he actually was. She was his wife,before the actual marriage, too. They had loving children and grandchildren, icing on the cake!

Jesus, I had to stop on page 3. This story is so full of cringe it makes telenovellas look tame by comparison.

Tears and happiness and justice as what goes around comes around. Sometimes it takes awhile for karma to work it all out but it all will even out. 5 stars

Bold choice having him write about his death first person.

Helluva lot of fun.

Excellent story from start to finish. Thank you so much for an enjoyable read.

A really good story, well done and keep writing

Absolutely terrible. Not one original thought. Your "stories" are nothing but long-winded, cliche imitations of better efforts. Please leave. Dedicate your time to something more in line with your mental capabilities. Finger painting, perhaps?

Keep’em coming!!! 5/5

Incredable tale of love and deceit. Creativity is off the charts on this one. Typos, yea who cares.

So Rebecca just kisses whoever the fuck she wants when they have no idea who she is then commits domestic violence by slapping him? If it had been the other way around he'd be arrested! Being an Aussie you should know there is ZERO tolerance for domestic violence!!!! NO likeable characters in this long winded repeatitive 'story'

This was the best story we have ever read on Lit, or anywhere else for that matter. Thank you.

Loved the start, the ending not so much. Too much of a tearjerker, I wanted to whack off in my hanky.

Wonderful

Really good story…. A few tears and a snotty nose to prove it…

An excellent parody. Not sure the author intended that way, but it was definitely amusing!

An AAOS* always gets 5 stars from me.

(*Another Awesome Other Story)

I cried with Rebecca's passing. With tears still in my eyes. 5 stars for Mr. John Other a master storyteller! Powerful, Great Story, and Great Writing! A story of life and love, betrayal, heartbreak, redemption, Wow. If I could write only half as good I would be so happy. This story was amazing. Absolutely amazing my friend. I couldn't believe what Jillian did at the reunion, I was so pissed, it was so unexpected. How could she do that? And Troy what a piece of trash! Needless to say they got what was coming to them! Really a Powerful Read my Friend. thanks

Other masterpiece

i just want to know who tied becca naked to the bed , she could not do it herself .just saying

Excellent! Well written and emotional highs and lows. Wow, thank you so much for sharing your talent!

You really know how to write an interesting and satisfying story. Thanks for sharing. 5*s

I had told myself never to read another story from this author, as it's too frustrating. Why use one word when a hundred can fit? BUT, I read this one, all the way thru, and am glad I did. Yes, still too wordy, kind of predictable, but all in all a good read. Enjoyed it.

You write the most intense romances bundled up into Loving Wives. I don’t know how u get away with the premise but you do!!!!!

I do love your stories. From one Australian to another, well done!!!!!

This Queenslander happily gives you another 5/5.

You know, I got to page three, and I realized that the MC was no better than those that betrayed him. Living your life in hate and revenge is a self destroying way to live. I feel sure that in the end the MC will find true and everlasting love with a wonderful woman, but I don’t want to waste my time reading several pages of detailed revenge getting there,

Damnit man…. No tear jerker endings

Alil long, but a truly wonderful story and heartwarming tale of true love

Holy smokes, you are one helluva author. Your stories keep getting better & better. keep up the good works. LP

It was a good story, but it began to drag after the demons were manacled and banished into The Pit. There seemed to be an extra story appended to the end. You cleverly missed most of the clichés, except the bad guys were like cartoon character bad, bad. I balked when Rebecca grabbed Greg's 'waste' but later on, when her naughtier side was revealed...well. LULZ! A solid 5/5!!

Personally believe your one the best "new" writers posting. Well written stories with multipart stories that are well thought out and captivating. You do a good job of moving the story's along and developing the characters in your stories. I look for your byline and read your postings immediately. Thank you for another good one.

Great story!

A waist is on a human body, a lot actually a f'ing lot of humans are a waste [of time and space]

Excellent story. It brought smiles and tears. Well told. Thank you

Though well written, what I read, it was so unbelievably over the to[p the middle of page 2 is as far as I made it. I wasn't going to roll my eyes for 8 frigging pages. It gives me a headache.

7 years and she regressed to a fucking High School mentality? Really? And the whole Mark and Lin "They deserve to be together" ad nauseum, literally nothing in this has ANY basis in reality or has any sense in to it.

You get a decent rating for your writing skills, but nothing for the whole premise of this which falls apart faster than a cuck story does.

Wow! You turned a story, so awful that I almost didn’t read it, into a beautiful love story. You got even with the evil bitch, her sidekick, and her accomplices. Well done, and thank you.

Ed

I read a lot of stories in Literotica ... but this is really one of the best. From the bottom of what once was love ... to soaring to the "Pinnacle" of what his love has become. Thanks for the read and tears.

Its all very good, the characters, the plot, the details, the karma and the final scene. But these type of extreme betrayal stories always beg the question, how could such a monster of a cheating guiltless arrogant whore be a woman worth loving, trusting, marrying? Of course Rebecca was right, Jillian NEVER committed herself to her marriage, apparently always holding back and being ready for when her true love returned. And then the whole "class reunion" group behavior carrying over friendships and loyalties and values from High School? And Jillian was a full on committed hanger on of this group, and her husband never discerned the shallowness, the arrogance, the disrespect, the contempt? Yeah, I know marry marriages are the same, pathetic tepid shallow paper mache mock ups of the real thing, that melt and fall apart as soon as the weather changes. But you described this marriage as good while it was good, and that doesn't make sense to me. Again, its like waking up one morning after years of marriage and discovering that you are sleeping next to an aardvark. I mean the guy just wasn't paying attention, especially the last three months while his wife was essentially engaged in a honeymoon fuckathon when her old lover returned. But i know that's how some authors concoct the drama and suspense the hope to create in their stories: good ole Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde character switching. Then married 6 times? Yeah, more like science fiction. I guess you do the best you know how. Thanks for the effort.

what cool stories has "overcritical " written then

one of the very few stories I have ever rated "5 star". Excellent story!

Again you nailed it, scored, and all the other sayings.

Dam it felt good reading this story. Everything was spot on - story line, logic,character development, For me everything worked. Thank you for a great read

If ever there was a story that deserved (at least) a 5, this is it. Fantastic read; thank you.

This story just didn’t resonate with me. I can’t really put my finger on it. An intelligent guy marries a air head like jillian who was dumped by her first love .yet gives up a life when years later he reappears on the scene. Then we have Rebecca come to the door as a complete stranger and kiss him ,and that knocks him off his feet to love her. You story . Not very believable at all. So I have to say it just did not work for me.

Well done

Another high school level story from this author. Should have been over and done in three pages.

Every cliche know to LW.

Another excellent story from you!

Great story!

Excellent story but of course I knew it would be. I love these longer stories, 7 and 8 pages! 5 BIG ASS FUCKING BLAZING NOVA STARS! Thank you!

Were you trying to make me cry, first mad, angry then so very happy? Well, you did. Thanks, looking forward to more from you.

Lived through part, hope the rest holds true. Thanks for the hope.

I forgot to mention that this story is the best I've read in a long while, thank you! Oh, this has got to get a pretty high score!

Probably the best story I’ve read on here. Thank you for all the emotions your efforts created within me.

I am not sure how you manage to do it. Each story of yours I read, has more emotion and feeling than the last one. Your writing skill leaves this old goat with hope that some day I'll be able to find a sliver of happiness your characters find when rising from the ashes. To be able to hope there may be some light at the end of the tunnel, is a straw that I will grasp for. Thank you for such wonderful literary works that I am able to immerse myself into and enjoy to the max.

that was a great story! kind of hard to read the last part through my tears but I managed. Please keep writing.

I like your stories but this one didn't really do it for me.

Schmaltz, but I enjoyed it. 4 stars.

Liked it quite a bit, but honestly, I wish the first wife would have found some happiness in the end as well. I'm okay with quick hot revenge, but a lifetime of loneliness strikes me as one of the cruelest fates to inflict on another person. There are crueler, of course, but still, my point stands.

Thank you so much for the feedback everyone, I really enjoyed writing this one.

It is really sad and pathetic the number of readers who have given this appalling the awful story such high scores. This story offers nothing butt typical worn out classic loving wives Boiler plate crap.

......Yawn.....

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-wife Engages in a conspiracy or mass of deceit or Public humiliation and emasculation

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Husband is shattered ..... And everybody knows about what's happening except for the husband.

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Husband gets a amazingly hot young woman That performs all kinds of amazing sex acts.

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At some point something bad happens to the wife and the new husband or new boyfriend and feels remorse.

.

The whole thing with Rebecca coming into his life and And slapping him hard in the face is just forced and contrived. It's obvious that the author was trying to develop the characters in some meaningful way.

But it makes no sense.

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Rebecca knows the entire story of what happened to the husband. She knows every single detail about how much pain and suffering and humiliation He has been going through and he is going through.

.

So naturally she hits him hard in the face.!?!? Like I said this is just force contrived nonsense

Wow, just wow!

Your evolution as an author is a sight to behold my friend. To see where you started with a good story, in Forced Perspective. It was a good story with lots of mistakes, but then you moved in with Double or Nothing (I, for one hope you get around to doing parts 6&7, I'd buy it). Your Nuclear Family series was a joy to read, and now with this story,..

You have a very rare gift, John. I've seen others say it, but you are not an author. You're a storyteller. If you're a publisher, you should message this guy before someone else snaps him up! You do well in bringing the emotion of a scene together and then taking us for a ride. That is more than an author. You could have done just as well without any erotic element (though it did work well).

I recalled the June Sucks story a few months ago, I also felt angry at the end of reading part II, (Which you didn't address here) so I get why you felt you had to write this. But I have to say, from the moment you started with Greg and Jillian getting ready, you set the scene to flow through the rest of the story. His rage as he destroyed everything, how he confronted his friends. Even the way Becca showed Jillian those pictures to devastate her, so well done.

You could have left it there, but then you took it to a new level. Becca's passing was so well written I felt like I was Greg. Bringing Jillian back to that final time where Greg noted how he couldn't cheat on his wife, so well done, and then his passing and her being there. It just all worked.

Ignore the Trolls, John. You keep that passion that comes through in everyone one of your stories, it shines through in your style. I am very much looking forward to the next story you write.

You bet your ass you got five stars from me.

You're a little long-winded, but it was a good story.

Wishy-washy BS, with extended play. The author takes somebody's else's plot idea and then stretches it like a chewing gum. 4 pages for intro with all whining available, 3 pages of rebound (a woman comes to his door and jumps on him ... yup, that sounds like a stable lifetime partner or more like a fantasy of LW couch potatoes) and then typical passive revenge used by so many of wimpy BTB wanna-be writers.

With some banal sex like "I gave her 5 orgasms in 15 minutes" (orally). Yup, sure you did, or dreamed about it while masturbating over your own writing.

So much drivel in here, it is slippery.

Absolutely fantastic. Too bad the limit is only 5*.

I feel the beginning could've been a little more fleshed out in regard to Lillian's infidelity unless the intention that the reader feels as in the dark as Gregory. The ending was interesting though, what with peering into the afterlife and all.

Love your stories John Other Keep up the good work (jaybee186)

An interesting story which would have been better split in to 2 or 3 parts. I personally prefer to read in short chunks. I agree the original did leave me wanting for more, however NylonDreams wrote a similar story called There's Betrayal & There's Betrayal which is just as good. 5*****

Very well written couple of spelling errors but was a good read. The ending I liked a lot, the passing of Becca was truly heart moving, it brought a tear to me eye, as a reader I found you as a writer were able to inject passion into the story, the hate was always there but without putting in so much sordid wordings the coupling I found erotic more so than other stories I have read. They say a good writer is always good 99.9%, but only a few times do they become a brilliant writer with a story, if could rate higher than 5 I would do keep writing.

One one note Dark2donut2, let's see you write a story. Would be interesting to see if you could do better, your quick enough to kick writers down and good ones at that, but I reckon yours would be BTB poorly written and trash. Other don't be put off by comments like Dark put, if you see stories on here like February sucks then you will see many writers taking an old story and making it better or in the case of FS worse. Careful how you rewrite some stories

I’m pushing seventy and have lived a hectic and fulfilling life within my family, along with business, sporting and social capacities. I have met and known hundreds, if not thousands, of people. People from all walks of life. From the very best our species has produced, to some of the most loathsome. I’m yet to meet anyone as flawless and virtuous as the main character Greg.

To the Author

You are writing about people. We all have our foibles, faults, and flaws. Give your characters some. Make them human, make them real, make them believable.

Bart Cummings trained the only one I know of that Saintly, and it won the 1996 Melbourne Cup.

This was a very good story and it was free of some of the over-the-top plot devices you’ve used in the past.

I can't say enough how intriguing your stories have been, Mr. Other. Never mind the naysayers, this is still some excellent work.

5-stars!!

-JMFC

No one could seriously believe that humiliating a husband in front of mutual friends was the best way to break-up a marriage. Any rational person would make the break quietly and privately. Yet, that dissonance with reality that I could not buy was a key element of the story.

Thanks again.

Really like your craftsmanship.

Two pages less would have done it, but still a great story. Loved it *****.

Good writing, but an extended recapitulation of standard tropes. Sorry, didn't do it for me.

You Sir are one hellofa writer. Thanks.

What Harry said.

Doc

What a great story. So we’ll written, story line and characters very well developed.

I find myself always enjoying your stories. Thanks for your work.

Jillian got what she asked for so get over yourself slut

Married 6 times. I have known several women like that. After 2 anyone who married her was a victim. Screwing sluts is one thing. Marrying one is another. To women like her men as well as love are just a game.

Just once, I want to read a Literotica story where the person drives a shitty '74 Mustang II with the woefully underpowered (105 HP) V6 and they get destroyed in a drag race by a '74 Gremlin. There's a free story idea there; the MC has their Mustang II throw a rod while getting humiliated in a drag race and loses their car to a hot female racer (the MC can be a female or male). The MC then has to go to work for the race winner to pay off their debt (since their car is busted as a prize) and a lusty time is had by all. Just not in the backseat of the Mustang II, because Physics and not in the back of the Gremlin, because Aquarium. No need to contact me, just write it.

Really amazing-all the praise for this tale. It trumpets every cliche inhabiting LW. The protagonist is 'the most loving and kind man on the face of the planet'. The wife is not only a'cheating whore of a wife' but also 'the most despicable being on the face of the earth'. (And the hero did not even notice that in all the years they were married!) The evil lover is a multiple cheater and an embezzler who is exposed by . ..well of course no one but our hero. The punishment for the wife is the humiliation of six bad marriages (surely a record for LW) If she is such a baddjudge of character, how did she happen to choose our hero for her first marriage?! And ,of course there is the wonderful Rebecca to top off the cliches.

I had a couple of problems with this.

1. "all three houses belonged to a trust for which neither of us was a direct beneficiary. "

If he wasn't a "direct" beneficiary and there was just he and the wife and no children in the relationship, he suggests he's really given up any interest in the three houses. Since the trust also owned the business he's also given up the business for nothing and can't get anything from it. Something isn't making sense here. Since there was supposedly a prenup why not just rely on the trust or the assets being excluded instead of saying he wasn't a beneficiary?

2. There was really nothing added to the story by having him destroy the house and furniture and I considered it a negative even without the reference to an insurance claim. The insurance claim referred to in the story doesn't make sense. Of course, if it was owned by him the damage wouldn't be covered, but even with the house owned by a trust, the insurance company when it paid the claim for the damage would take an assignment of the trust's claim against him for causing the damage. Making an insurance claim would benefit the trust but he'd end up paying for it personally. It would be simpler for him to simply pay the trust for the needless damage he caused than to make the insurance company pay it and come after him.

Well done! I gave it top marks, which I did not expect to do half way in. On the one hand, conflict drives stories, and the conflict was resolved by page 2 of 8. Everything after that was just tying it up. However, like many others, I am interested in how things work out and your story lines had enough going on for me to continue reading to see how it ended up exactly. I was still thinking it was probably 4 star material up to page 7, but your epilog brought tears to my eyes in two different parts. So, I gotta give you fully marks for engaging my emotions. Finally, to me, endings are author's choice, but I thank you for not having him take Jillian back after his wife died. The way you wrote it seemed much more fitting.

I know that every main character in these fantasies is to some extent a Mary Sue, but this has to be the Mary Suest of them all. I wonder if there is anybody left in Australia who still didn't tell him how hard he's had it, but how right he is, and what a wonderful man he is!

Author has written good stories; this one isn't among those.

Reminds me of a RichardGerald story. Not an insult. A little overwrought. MC kept repeating himself over and over to the point it started to sound like whining.

3.5. Not bad, but you can do better.

Well, If I can stop crying....it was the most wonderful love story. Its truly special. Well done sir. Please write me and tell me if you got published. All the best to you with thanks for a great read. When the movie is made make sure Poppy Montgomery plays Becca at the end.

Regards,

Dave

IrishLaddy59@outlook.com

OK, it was terminally cliched.

Loved it! 5-stars

As expected from you sir. Amazing writing and story telling. Your characters are always complete. You invoke emotions in every story. Thank you for a beautiful story.

Good read. Funny thing though, I kinda felt the sex scenes were dirty and distracting (like something I shouldn’t be seeing). Don’t know why; I read here for pretty much the same reasons as most (eg., the sex scenes).

So I’m thinking this means you connected at some other level in me … and I can think of no greater compliment to a writer’s talent. Congrats!

Reads like something written by a boy at the height of puberty.

The original, I felt, set up a horrible scenario, then offered zero redeeming value.

This version, much better. I’ve liked all of your writing, this didn’t disappoint. Giving the victim some strength was a wise decision. He didn’t get revenge on anyone. He took convenient opportunities, to ensure that the major players faced appropriate consequences for their actions. I thought it elegant that he didn’t seek those opportunities.

Most epilogues simply close the story loops. This epilogue held strong emotional impact, maybe more than the rest of the story.

I enjoyed reading the story, thanks for sharing.

One of the best I have read in a long time.

Pretty formulaic. Then goes off the rails with a first person narrative of the storyteller's own death. WTF?

Two stars. Three if you drop the epilogue.

Great , great story 5++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I must admit I cried when Rebeca passed Thank you

A bunch of crap! If you are going to talk about God and heaven, do a little research.

I really have to quit reading these on a plane. It’s embarrassing as a 60+ male to be ballin’ my eyes out. This story got to me. Really liked the emotional aspect. Thank you and look forward to more of your work.

To those who bitch at the people who post negative comments. Why can’t they do so the same as those who like the story. They didn’t like the story. Hooray for them. Not every story is going to appeal to every person. Why does one have to be able to write a better story to qualify to post a comment about something they didn’t like. Why shouldn’t someone who likes the story have to write a better story to qualify to post.

This was a great story. Maybe not my favorite, maybe not the most original, maybe too long, maybe, maybe, maybe. It was enjoyable, entertaining, and very emotional. What more could you want in a story even if you didn’t like it.

Kudos to Mr. Other and I look forward to many more stories from him.

A huge improvement over the inspiration. Very touching end. 5*

surperb writing! a few weird quirks but overall excellent:)

To all fellow Lit'ers who like to comment stories. As you look for something you can find wrong with the story, please remember our typical Lit authors are generally not professional writers. I know there are a few Lit alumni who are very accomplished writers and we are truly blessed to have them, but this is not generally the case. It would be nice to remember it takes a hell of a lot of effort and time to put together a beautiful thread like this, particularily trying to intertwine writing into their full time job and family and other (pardon the pun) life activities. Please try to be kind and be grateful whe you get to enjoy a wonderful story like this! Remember there are tons of crap stories online just begging to be trashed....