About Me Ch. 09

I looked at my dresser, my every morning's torment, was bare! I panicked, what do I do? What do I wear? Do I pull this out of me? WHAT DO I DO WITHOUT HIM TO TELL ME, TO MAKE ME!?!

In the low light of the room, I lay naked, the windows were still closed, so was the door. I was still safe, no one knew what was happening to me, what had happened to me, that I was left, only halfway fucked and that I didn't have the strength to stop and resist, and be left without that ultimate pleasure, but, no one knew.

I was in my castle, no one knew that I had succumbed to taking my own pleasure maybe for the first time in my adult life, I was safe and no one knew, and no one will know!

I shifted on the bed, the pain in my ass and crotch reminding me of the pleasure from last night.

I reached back, taking hold of the head, and painfully pulled out my sodomist, slowly, with pleasure that every bump gave me on its way out.

Free, on shaky legs I got up, I had to check on the kids.

Naked and unsure, I went through the hall, one room, then the other, still asleep, it was too early for them, with a sigh of relief, I returned to my gilded cage.

I closed the door, I stood in the middle of the room, alone and without instruction for the first time in ages; I looked at my reflection in the mirrors as they multiplied me to infinity.

I looked good! I was tall, I have great hair, thick long platinum blond hair, barely over thirty, great big tits, so big and so good! Not so big that they sag, they might one day, but not now, not today. A delicate waist, and wide hips and great big ass. I have such a great ass. I know, it's all around me, all over the walls of the room, I can see it from every angle, and it's great!

My proportions are perfect, everything is on the large side, and it's looking good.

My cunt is nice and clean, my body without a hair, my skin the perfect tan for a blonde.

He keeps me well, I thought, my husband keeps me up well!

I turned up the light and looked around the room. I walked around the debris from last night, gingerly touching everything, now with the light on and all alone, for the first time I looked at all of it, nothing was as menacing as it was last night when he brought me in from my bath.

The ropes tied to the posts were nice and soft, the pillows and cushions were smeared with my cum and lube, otherwise nice and clean, so were the sheets. The buzzing vibrating eggs at the foot of the bed were so small, and yet, last night, they tormented me with so much pleasure. The prodding dong, glistening in the light, just lying there, lifeless, where I threw it when I pulled it out, lay there, shining, reminding me of the pleasure it had given me.

I took it in both hands, the ends dangling helplessly. It was firm but soft, not at all as big and fat as it felt when I had it pushed up my ass, just veiny and bumpy, and kind of thin...

I walked into the bathroom, the bowl, foam razor and towel, were still on the sink, as was the soap and the enema bag with its nozzle and tube. All just left there, neatly, after they have been used.

I looked at the empty bathroom, alone, I was all alone now, so alone...

I went back to the bedroom, I glanced cravingly at my empty dresser, my hair brush was there, my make-up, but that was all. There wasn't a Sunday dress carefully chosen with toys meant for me to wear to church today.

The door to the little room in my mind was wide open and I was out in the world, I hadn't returned to my cell, to my willful solitary confinement in my mind's deepest recesses. There was no danger, I was safe, all alone in the house.

I went downstairs, I made coffee, I placed the pastries in the oven, the kids will be up and they will want to eat.

Naked and unsure, I sat on the stool, drinking coffee and looking at the oven, thinking, there was no pang in my stomach.

What was I to do? Where do I go from here?

The oven timer brought me out of my catatonia.

I was a woman, I was a housewife, I was a mother, it was Sunday, and we were going to church, even if I didn't have a car!

I went upstairs, I took the toys and all the sexual paraphernalia, and cleaned and washed them, I opened the neat closet and returned everything to its place, I changed the sheets, I aired out the room, I took a shower and got clean.

I woke up the kids and gave them breakfast, naked, they didn't notice. I prepared their Sunday clothes.

I called my sister and had her send her son to take us to church.

I stood naked in front of the toy chest, MY toy chest, since it was filled with toys meant just for me!

With new eyes I looked at my toys, the instruments of my torture for so long. Today, they weren't as intimidating as they used to be.

I stood watching my naked image repeated all around me, not knowing what to wear, or which toy that I should use for the coming day.

After so much time in the company of my toys, even if I was alone, it wasn't a question, should I? but which?

I knew them all, they had all fucked me so much, so hard, for so long, but today, they were just toys in MY toy chest.

I remembered the touch and feel of every one, delicately I ran my fingers all over them, reminiscing.

I reached for this and that, I knew them all. I touched them, I smelled them, I licked them.

I had to choose!

I took the gold-leaf seashell in my hands, it was beautifully done, it cupped my cunt so delicately and it filed my ass and pussy so well, the elegant gold chains that held it in place and under my graceful sheer robe was a stylish detail to my naked body. I remember my heart skipping a beat when I would see it on my dresser on a certain morning.

It was Sunday, I was going to church and I was going to look my best!

I took it out of its box, I squeezed the two perfectly shaped inserts in my hands, feeling the firm soft rubber under my fingers, with awe and appreciation for the first time, touching the velveted cushion that would cradle my clit while I wore it.

I crouched, wet with anticipation, my thighs wet and quivering, I impaled myself with the darling ornament for my ass and cunt.

I adjusted the gold chains around my body, decorating my waist and slipping them into the crack of my ass from behind, adding to the already impious look, the little golden cross dangling from its end, swinging over my naked hip.

Complementing the bottom, there was a golden chain bra that went with the set. It was close nit, offering support for tits les firm than mine, a wide ring around the nipples, decorating and exposing the areolae for a gem studded nipple clamp. It was such a perfect set.

With trembling fingers, I adorned myself, probably for first time in my life without a pang in my belly, looking at the stunning woman looking back at me from the mirrors surrounding me.

I peered out of my own eyes, my inner self looking at the image in front of me, candidly, for the first time in ages, that was me, and I looked good, I felt good, and I accepted that.

I closed the toy closet and swung open the doors that held my clothes.

It was Sunday and I chose that white Sunday dress with delicate colorful flowers embroidered on it.

Meant to be worn with a slip under it, but opaque enough, still on the edge of reason, that I could go to church without it.

I don't know how he did it, but he always did, find the right thing for me, and coupled with the bling I wore under my beautiful dress, I was ready for church.

I stood in front of the mirrors all around me and admired what I saw, my husband had a beautiful wife and kept her well, I was his wife, dressed for church as he would want me to be, I was beautiful, I accepted it.

Before my nephew got here, we were all ready and waiting.

He rang the doorbell and I let him in, glancing around the house he walked up and gave me a kiss, a lover's kiss, to remind me that he hasn't forgotten the time we had together.

The kids were out all ready, just behind the door to the house he hugged me once again, feeling my body melt in his hands. He felt the chains under my outfit, he felt me up over my dress, then under it, then he crouched before me and raised the front all the way up to my bellybutton, kissing my bare skin and marveling at the way that I looked, under my beautiful Sunday dress.

"Ready for church, I see." he said taking my hand, leading me to his car.

"Your mother could be wearing this." I said teasing him.

"How I wish!" He said, gliding his fingers between my legs along the edges of the golden shell, holding the door for me, giving me another kiss.

The kids stumbled into the back seat, while I, as I had been thought for so long, entered the car, picking up my dress immodestly, exposing myself in so doing, followed his craving eyes, took my place next to my driver, completely feeling the arousal of my 'costume' and my surroundings.

My dress hiked up, my legs spread, I enjoyed my nephew's manly touch between them while he drove. In my heart happy, maybe for the first time, in a long time; my husband was right, for no one knew, they knew nothing!

Everything was going to be all right!

Arriving, we caught everyone's attention, with my kids running around us, we were a striking couple, with smiles and nods we went in.

He sat with me and the children, because of them, and for us, we took a pew at the back, today I didn't mind it at all.

The children were on one side of me, and my nephew sat on my other side.

I was careful, in taking my seat, to allow space for his hand under my pretty dress; that day church and the sermon weren't as trying as they could be.

His jacket was over his lap and was hiding my hand in it.

Now, with versed steps, we enjoyed the sermon immensely.

His cock pulsating in my hand and I, myself, drooling on the wooden bench under his touch, we greeted the end of the ceremonies with a cold sweat.

Nosy neighbors offered to take me home and I had to say a hasty farewell to my handsome confidante, without being able to release our pent-up pressure.

Arriving home, I craned my neck, expecting to see our car in the drive, disappointed, my children and I said goodbye to our friends and went in.

Changing their clothes, I gave them something to eat and went up to change myself.

Alone, among my ghostly reflections, I stripped naked, I released the pressure on my nipples and took off the bra.

Looking at my self in the reflections, hot and horny as hell, I couldn't take off my bottom.

I stood in front of my closet full of clothes, and I searched for that transparent, silky robe embroidered with flowers and vines, it would go perfectly with my golden crotch ornament, I thought sinfuly.

I found it and joined my kids out on the deck, in the shade, by the pool.

Surfing the net on my pad, I was killing time, waiting for him to come home so that my life could have direction again.

My pussy was throbbing and my ass was clutching the insertion, hungry for so much more, that his presence offered.

I practiced my Kegels, getting a vague sense of purpose and light relief. But the day was long and I was like a cadged cat, clawing, and growling unable to get out of my own skin, my mind wide open, the distance between me and the world around me closing persistently.

Coffee wasn't strong enough, I needed a stiff drink.

With a glass in my hand, filled with crushed ice and booze, I was back out with the children.

He didn't want us to drink, 'it clouds the mind, it dulls the senses', he said; but, right now, I needed my senses dulled!

I squirmed on my lounge, my crotch was burning for attention, I rubbed my thighs together, I squeezed, I grunted as loud as I could, without my kids hearing me. My spartan inner self losing all control over me, standing on a ledge of a precipice in my mind, looking out wrought with the same passion that was overcoming my body, the passion penetrating the strong indoctrinated vault full of my mother's beliefs.

I drank my drink, but it only got worse.

The thought of being alone, the thought that he wasn't here to take care of this for me, was driving me mad, I was on fire, my ass and pussy were on fire, and no one was here to put it out!

I pushed my fingers under the edge of the shell, between the soft velvet and my clit, and a jolt of electricity sparked through my tit and clit triangle. Connecting them with the nerves in the pleasure centers of my brain.

That was it! That was what I needed, a touch, his single touch and everything was going to be all right!

I laid back on the cushions of the lounge, in the shade of the covered deck by the pool, my legs spread, my hand touching myself, I looked at the kids, they were having fun, and so was mom.

I knew exactly where to put the ball of my finger, just how hard I had to press, instinctively, I just knew, and I did.

No one was going to know... it was going to be all right...

But somehow, it wasn't! I pressed, I rubbed, I used more fingers, I used my whole hand, but it wasn't coming.

He was right, my mind was clouded, and my senses were numb, and he wasn't here to take care of this for me. I was going to have to do it alone, but I couldn't,... I couldn't, my mother had told me so many times that I shouldn't, and I couldn't, so I just lay there and cried...

Not soon enough, the kids had tired, I had them eat, washed them and put them to bed. My mind whirling, the booze was wearing off, I went to my room.

I knew what was to be done; I drew the blinds, I played the music, I took out my precious toy and groomed myself as if he was home doing it for me, I knew what had to be done, and I was a 'proper' woman and I did it!

I returned to the bedroom, I placed the camera in its place, I opened the toy closet and made my choices, I put them on the nightstand next to the bed and put on my dear blindfold.

I was in the middle of the bed, a raunchy bitch in heat.

I took the dong I had up my ass all night, and stuffed it down my throat as far as I could, crying with pleasure at its every bump that slid past my lips; with hardly a couple of fingers sticking out in front of my lips, I pushed it down my throat. I took the fattest fake phallus that I owned and stuffed my lubed ass with it, crying and thrashing all over the bed as it split me in painful pleasure, but it was still not enough. I took the 'magic wand' and with my legs spread up in the air, I did myself!

Oh, and did I do myself!

At that moment two of me were watching the show, the pleasure cursed through all of my senses, penetrating every nerve and fiber of my tormented body reaching deeply into my soul. I watched from the edge of the cliff as the other side came ever closer, bringing pleasure, unable to blink away.

It took time, but stuffed as I was, with my legs flailing in the air, I pressed the pulsating knob hard, there where I needed it. I pressed hard and whined, and cried, and bucked, and came, finally, I CAME!

The other side of the rift in front of me was closing in, with enormous speed, when it crashed at my feet.

I came so hard that I splattered the closest mirrors with my cum, but hungry, I just kept the throbbing head pressed and I kept cumming, and cumming and cumming!

I was drawn to the light before me, the space behind me had disappeared as if it had never existed, I was free! Never knowing that I had been held captive by cruel masters.

He had never made me cum so hard.

Was it the booze, was it the teasing, or was it that he didn't have just what it took for me to come the way I did that night? It was mind-blowing, and I had had my mind blown before, this was like that, only better.

I was whole, I felt whole, I searched for the other me that had always been with me from the time since ever I could remember, it was gone, it was just me, boldly looking at me from the mirrors around me with my own eyes.

I took those pillows, I took those cushions, I turned around on the bed, I propped myself up, with the head of that 'magic wand' where it belonged.

Immodestly I spread my arms and legs, and in bliss I surfed the waves of ecstasy alone in the middle of my marital bed. No one knew,... no one could know... the enormity of this pleasure,... for if they did, they wouldn't say, they couldn't say, that this was wrong, if they had ever known the extent of this pleasure!

OOOOooo, ... Lord!... if... my... mother... could... See... Me... NOW!! Feeling whole at last, after all of those years of torment, I screamed as hard as I could, and kept on screaming!

Fuck YEAH! Everything was going to be FUCKING ALL RIGHT!!

Thoroughly worked over I slept through the night. I woke up sore, my ass still munching on that biggest of dongs that I had, and every muscle in my body tingling, but I was happy.

I shifted on the bed and my eyes went straight for my dresser, it was still empty, I was still alone.

I checked up on the kids, started the oven and coffee, and returned to my room. It smelt of wet pussy and sweat.

Everything was strewn about, the sheets crumpled and the bed and floor littered with pillows and my toys.

I opened the window, letting the morning sun and air in, I collected and washed my toys and finally I let out the prisoner from my ass. Lovingly I washed and dried it, replacing it with the others in my toy chest.

I went down, got my coffee and set the table for the kids, they would fend for themselves once they were up.

I was back among my ghostly reflections, another day alone, and I was too to fend for myself.

The shiny morning light gave my skin color, and alone in front of my reflections I looked at my naked body shamelessly.

I was beautiful!

Always self-conscious, always withdrawn, always shamed, I never appreciated myself, and was always uneasy to accept a complement.

Today, in front of the multiple images of myself all around me, I looked at myself, like a vain teenager I posed and strutted about the room, looking at my great tits, with cherry red nipples, the perfect circles around them, perfectly posed on my chest, big and firm, my hands could hardly cover as I cupped them. My ass, firm set on my perfect thighs, curving in and around, just begging to be touched, my perfect skin.

My hair was falling halfway to my waist, blond like a slutty cheerleader, thick and wiry.

I ran my fingers over my skin, between my legs, drawing out the juice between them.

I had to take care of myself for another day.

I looked at my toys, the bane of my life, the pleasuring angels.

Each had its own brand of torture, each toy made me squirm with arousal while I fought with it in my mind, but there was this one that was especially cruel.

It was of a devilish design, and it had a small golden devilish face and hands on it.

It was some kind of 'cunt cradle', it would fit between my legs and up my pussy, it was like a golden speculum, splitting me open and making my pussy gape, the front was tucked under my perfectly closed pussy lips, spreading them wide open revealing my inner folds framed by the little devils mouth, my clit would look like it was its flesh tongue, and a little golden ball and bell on a chain were dangling from its upper lip.

Adjusted for me, my every move would swing the ball and bell, making a quiet ring and a pleasurable tingle, when the ball would hit my exposed clit. Wicked!

My every move made the little bell ring, and even breathing made the ball swing against my throbbing clit.

Split open, I would uncontrollably drool down my legs, the moisture tickling on its way down the inside of my thighs, making them glisten.

There was no way to steady the little ball and chain, it was meant to keep me open, to arouse me, no matter how hard I would squeeze my thighs trying to avoid it, and to just deliver pleasure.