All Comments on 'Accidental Revelations Ch. 07'

Loving this story. So much creativity. Albeit an editor might add an extra 5-10%.

At the heart, there’s a good story, but it takes a lot of interpreting to read it. It is definitely in need of a good editor. Too many homophones (there / their / they’re, your / you’re, etc.), bad grammar and punctuation, missing apostrophes, confusing sentences, etc.

good story keep it up but don't make bi he has the start of a Hermon

I would shorten the meeting with the construction guys. It just drags the story. It's like describing how someone brushed their teeth and what with, then describing what the ate for breakfast and how it was made. It's a bunch of boring information that adds nothing to the story.