Alexaverse One-Shots 01

"Here's your drink, Shelly," the boy named Chris said, pushing through the press of bodies to reach her but then pausing as he saw the senior. "I hope you don't mind- oh..."

"Hit the skids, pledge," the bigger student said, almost sneering. Shelly managed to snag her drink before Chris turned and walked away dejectedly. The senior looked at her. "Was that runt bothering you?"

"No, he was just bringing me a drink," Shelly said, hoping she didn't have to start at square one again. She'd been making headway with the pledge, after all.

"Pledges're always slinkin' around, lookin' to score," the senior grunted, shaking his head. "Was he tryin' to get under your skirt?"

"I'm not sure I would've minded," she said, giving him a sassy smile. "I like to teach young men a thing or two, after all."

"Well, no need for training wheels if you go on this ride, babe," he said, grinning and gesturing to himself.

Tight pants, but not much of a bulge, she thought, following his hand as it moved up and down his body. Then again, I'm here to build a legend, so it doesn't matter how big he is, right? And it looks like he's willing, so-

"AWRIGHT!!!" the senior almost shouted, standing up and pushing through the crowd toward the doors, his arms in the air, fists clenched. "YOU GOT IT!"

Shelly was confused for a moment, wondering what had proven more important than getting in her panties. She heard a bunch of guys cheering and yelling idiotically near the door, as well as some animal bleating loudly. Was that a goat? A sheep?

She'd been tossed over for livestock?!

Trying not to scowl, she left the dance floor, sipping her drink (which was terrible) and searching around for her Anthony Michael Hall clone. Waving her way through a cloud of smoke and trying not to cough, she searched the main floor of the large house. To her distress, she saw couples beginning to make out already, meaning people had a head start on her. Not good.

"There you are," she said when she came around a corner into a relatively uncrowded room and saw her quarry standing in a corner, trying to not look put out. His eyebrows almost raised into his hairline and the tiny rat-tail at the nape of his neck almost stood up in excitement when he saw her. "It's not polite to leave a girl like that, good sir."

"Uh, sorry," Chris said, blushing slightly and rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "When the big dogs tell you to take a hike, y'do as you're told, y'know?"

"Not really, and you have to promise not to bail on me like that again, oui?" she said quietly but firmly, looking over the rim of her plastic cup as she sipped her drink. Jesus, it was bad!

"S-sure," he said hesitantly, wanting to not seem like he was intimidated by what had happened earlier. "I'm sorry."

"The night's young, no need to think all is lost, right?" she said simply. Time to be direct. "If I ask you a question, will you answer honestly?"

He nodded, not sure what to think.

"Are you a virgin?" she asked pointedly.

He blushed almost scarlet.

"There's no need to be embarrassed," she said gently, putting a hand on his wrist. "Everyone's a virgin until they're not, right?"

"I guess," he murmured. "It doesn't bother you?"

She smiled. "Don't see why it should, we could still have fun, if you wanted."

It was as if a lightbulb went off in his brain and he finally realized what he was saying. "Y-y'mean... you... and m-me..."

She nodded and walked two fingers up his chest. "Interested? I hear there are bedrooms upstairs, might be nice to grab one before it gets too busy around here."

"Oh, wow," he breathed, wiping at his brow suddenly. "I... I wonder what my girl back in Orangeville would say?"

Oh, for fuck's sake! Are you fucking kidding, Farber?! You found the only fucking virgin pledge at the frat with a girlfriend?!

"Well," she said, giving him a sly smile. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her, after all. And just maybe, I can teach you a few things that you can take back and knock her socks off with over summer break, right?"

He swallowed. "D'you... d'you think?"

"I'm not lookin' for a ring on this finger," she said, holding up her hand. "I'm looking for a good time, and someone to share it with. Whaddya say, Chris from Orangeville? Are you the one to show it to me?"

She could tell he wanted to say yes. He was wrestling with it. She was tempted to lean in and subtly cup his crotch through his pants, but she was afraid he might just blow his load right there and then, before she got him naked. Patience, Farber.

He nodded. "O-okay. Just let me go get a drink. Uh, wait here..."

Shelly watched him scurry out of the room and sighed before leaning back against the wall, closing her eyes. She'd done it. Step one complete. She'd seduced the kid and he couldn't say no to her. She was literally charming the pants off him. Just like Karen. It worked! It really worked!

Nobody was looked at her as she pressed herself into a corner, reaching under her dress and feeling her panties she was wearing. They weren't anything special, but they were cute and she'd decided that she was giving them to some lucky guy tonight as a memento of their time with Shelly Farber, courtesan extraordinaire.

She looked up to the ceiling and smiled as music began blaring around the floor.

"Last night I gave up on myself

I hit the bed, tell me what should I do

Then in a dream I saw your face

It's more than just a face

You make me wanna give my heart away!

I feel the magic

Like I never felt before

I imagine that it's always been there

There's an angel looking after me

Angel baby, give me more and more!"

Mmmmmm, preach it, Belinda, Shelly thought dreamily, hardly able to believe that this all came together, finally. She'd worked so hard, and now she was reaping the rewards. This one skinny kid was just a start. By tonight, everyone would know her name. Even her stupid university courses finally seemed worth it, and she never would've guessed that. Hell, she was beginning to forget what an orgasm even felt like at this point!

There was sudden yelping and shouting as a large goat burst into the room, bouncing and galumphing around in its panic to escape the morons who were supposed to be handling it. Shelly squealed as the goat hip-checked her and splashed her drink everywhere. It was suddenly in her hair, on her face, all over her dress...

"No, goddammit!" she heard the jock from earlier shouting angrily, coming into the room and pointing around while several of his fraternity brethren scrambled about, trying to capture the panicked wether. "Catch that fucking thing and hold onto it! Don't you dumb fucks know how to play a fucking prank?! Find the condoms!"

He stamped out of the room when the goat made a dash back into the house, interrupting lots of people, but accompanied by roaring laughter. Clearly all those bastards were not covered in tequila and banana liqueur. Shelly was standing still, trying to process what had happened, slowly moving her hand and putting her now-empty cup on a table beside her.

Her fingers were sticky. Her hand was sticky. Her dress was sticky. Her whole fucking body was sticky!

How would Karen salvage this situation?

Chris came back now, holding a drink for himself. "Wow, that looked like a lot of- oh... uh..."

Shelly looked at him quietly, waiting to see what he said next.

"I'm... I'm sorry," he said rather helplessly, casting his gaze around the floor. "I didn't know you'd been... y'know..."

Say something, Farber, salvage this!

"Well, on the plus side, you're going to find out what it's like to lick banana liqueur off a girl's tits," she offered.

Chris smiled weakly and tried to laugh. Swing and a miss, Farber.

"Maybe we'd better get upstairs," she suggested. "Before anything else with four legs comes rampaging through."

She took him by the hand. "Lead on, Chris."

Blinking out of his daze as Shelly touched his hand, Chris nodded, turned around and started to walk her out of the room.

Finally, she was getting somewhere. She needed to get this kid taken care of so that she was back down here when the girls arrived and she was in command of the-

"The fuck're you doin', pledge?" the jock said loudly and with disdain as he stood in front of them. "Where 'd'you think you're going with the meat?"

Chris' eyes widened and Shelly could tell he was panicking. What was she supposed to do now?

"I... I..." he faltered. "The goat spilled her drink, I was takin' her upstairs to help her clean-"

Oh no you don't, buster...

"Chris is being modest," she declared, squeezing his hand and looking up at the jock with what she hoped was confidence. He may not have approached DeBourne in size, but he was still much bigger than both of them. "He was taking me upstairs and we were going to have some fun, weren't we, Chris?"

The pledge turned his head and shot her a rather panicked look.

"This fucktard?" the senior snorted. "You think you're gonna get your rocks off with him?"

"Hey now," Chris snapped suddenly, looking angry. "I know we're supposed to look up to you seniors, but there are bullying rules, y'know!"

"And who makes the rules around here, runt?" the bigger student growled, leaning over them.

Now Shelly was sweating. This was so not how things were supposed to be going. Defuse! Don't just defuse, make this into something!

The stereo wasn't helping.

"Hold tight

Wait 'til the party's over

Hold tight

We're in for nasty weather

There has got to be a way

Burning down the house!"

She didn't like the thought of anal, but she had a choice here and now to make, or everything was for nothing.

"Gentlemen," she laughed easily, standing between them and giving them both a genial smile. "Why fight over me when I'm willing to share?"

They both looked at her, rather stunned. Time to assert herself and make sure they knew who was in command here.

"Oh, come now," she said in her best seductive voice as they stood in front of the stairs. "You mean to tell me that neither of you has ever had a threesome?"

They were both still just staring at her dumbly.

Keep it up, you're winning this... imagine if you pull this off tonight... don't fail now...

"Like I said," she purred, giving them both seductive smiles as she took their hands and slipped them down inside her dress and let each of them cup one of her breasts. She ignored the sticky feeling from the banana liqueur. "There's plenty of me to go around, if you know anyone who's got the stuff to keep up."

She gave them each a conspiring look. "Is that you two?"

The jock made a wry face. "Me and the runt?"

"You and your pledge brother," she corrected, using her hands to move theirs and massage her breasts gently, keeping them focused on her offer. "It's a great playground, gents, and playgrounds are always more fun when you're not alone, right?"

Holy shit, that sounded good! I've got this!

"I don't have to fuck the runt, do I?" the senior asked in distaste.

"Just me, big boy, just me," she assured him before looking at Chris. "You're gonna have so many firsts tonight, and tomorrow, you'll have a great rep with the other pledges."

Chris looked up at his fraternity superior. The bigger student shrugged. "Just don't get in my way, got it?"

"Then let's do this, boys," Shelly breathed, taking them both by the arm and starting to walk them up the stairs to the second floor, her heart pounding in excitement.

A threesome! Her first! But they didn't know that! And nobody else did! When they all descended those stairs later, when both of these boys had experienced her courtesan skills, she would be the talk of the party, and by tomorrow, the campus!

"In here should do it, I think," she said confidently, picking a bedroom fort them all. It didn't matter which, she just had to sound confident, right? "Close the door, please."

Here we go, Farber. Time to embrace your destiny.

"Allow me to slip out of this dress and these sticky underthings," she lilted, pulling her sodden dress up her body and over her head. She tried not to smirk as they both stared at her dumbly, now standing there in her bra and panties. She looked at them both, her hands on her hips, one knee cocked slightly in front of the other. "Now, why don't each of you pick a garment and take it AIIEEEEEK!!!!"

"WHO LET THE GODDAMN GOAT UP HERE?!" the jock bellowed as the enraged animal burst through the door and knocked everyone over.

***

Philosopher's Walk, Monday afternoon...

"Talk to me, don't lie to me

Save your breath

Don't look at me, don't smile at me

Just close your eyes

I was so impressed by you

I was running blind

I would fall for every trick

Every twist of mind

Heaven is cold

Without any soul

It's hard to believe

I was so in love with you!"

"So none of us made it to the party?" Janet asked while the OMD song played on the little boombox she had sitting next to her on the grass, one of her little purchases with the money Jonathon Blackwell had given her. "I mean, just as well, given what happened, right?"

"I'm still baffled," Lisa said, sitting on the blanket in her customary pose, her knees pulled out and the soles of her feet touching while she held them with her hands. "I mean, how does a house catch fire and then sink into the ground? It didn't even collapse, it just... sank."

"Luckily no one was really injured, although apparently that party was batshit insane, even by Kappa standards," Mona pointed out. "Some kids were having sex in a room, a fight broke out over a girl, something flammable got knocked over..."

"And a goat was part of the action?" Janet added. "That's weird even for me."

"Why did you beg off, J?" Lisa queried. "That sorta party is usually your scene, after all."

Janet blushed a little. "Portuguese chicken in large quantities can get a little greasy, and it can grease your tract pretty good, and-"

"'kay, never mind, I understand," Lisa said, shaking her head. She looked at Mona. "You?"

The black girl shrugged. "Pregame show with DeBourne, if y'know what I mean. He fucked me so good that I passed out and didn't wake up until nearly midnight. He was courteous enough to miss the party and stay in my room, just studying until I was conscious again."

"Oh yeah, big damn hero," Lisa muttered, shaking her head again. "I was actually gonna go, but I got fed a coupla dairy blintzes by mistake at my fave li'l vegetarian café, and, well, nobody wants me in a crowded room after that."

"No argument there, LiLi," Mona snickered before looking at Karen. "What about you, Princess?"

Karen's expression was one of hesitant whimsy, if such a thing was possible. "I might have engaged in some bunburying, I confess. I begged off to the person who invited me by claiming that I had an engagement back on the Bridle Path that I was suddenly obligated to, for a Norwegian prince who doesn't actually exist."

"I wouldn't've questioned you about that either, Kar," Lisa admitted. "Sounds like something you'd have to do. But why?"

"The truth? Because I came across an equation suddenly earlier in the day that I think will help significantly with our Lucerne project, and I wanted to get it worked out before DeBourne clued into it."

"Only you would give up getting laid for science," Janet muttered, shaking her head. "Seriously, Princess. How many guys could you've fucked there on a whim if the mood took you?"

"None, since there was a massive fire that sank the entire house through its foundations," Karen pointed out, taking a sip from her thermos cup that actually held a nice cabernet. "Although the logistics of that defy even my calculations, I admit."

"Rumour has it some girl started it all," Janet mused, sitting back and letting the warming April sun kiss her face. "Tried to have sex with a bunch of people, the goat was involved, huge fight broke out, a fire gets set, and before you know it... boom, Kappa Eta Gamma is no more."

"And the university had some equipment or a small library or something there," Mona said, taking a sip of her own beverage. "Apparently the whole thing was this student's fault. They were a pain in the ass all evening, knocking drinks on people, caused the fights, caused the fire..."

"I heard they got expelled," Lisa said. "If they actually caused all that to happen, can't say as I blame the uni for doing it, really."

"Passing strange, I think," Karen said thoughtfully.

"Don't say your prayers, don't build your hopes

Just walk away

Don't phone me up, don't call around

Don't waste your time

You were so in awe of me

You were so divine

You would do just anything

To still be mine

Heaven is cold

Without any soul

It's hard to believe

I was so in love with you."

"I just don't understand what could've led someone to behave in that manner," Mona sighed. "I mean, why mess up the fun for everybody else?"

"I mean, do we know it was intentional?" Lisa asked. "That sounds like an awful lot of trouble to go to, especially the goat thing."

"God, let's hope the goat thing wasn't intentional," Janet grunted. "I feel bad for the Gammas, though, losin' their house like that. It's been theirs since the sixties."

"They will survive," Karen said simply, waving it off. "And if they can't throw keggers for the rest of the semester, the universe will soldier on as well."

"I'm just glad we weren't caught up in whatever it was," Mona declared. "Imagine how easily we could've been blamed for something that crazy happening."

"Mayhap," Karen allowed, crossing one knee over the other and smiling at her friends. "But for all that, we-"

They were all distracted by a scratchy dragging sound. Turning their heads, they saw a young woman hobbling up the path toward them.

Dragging one leg in a shin cast as she leaned on a crutch, she looked as if she'd been caught in a bomb blast coupled with a tornado. Her left arm hung in a linen sling and a bulky brace encased her neck. One of her eyes was black and squeezed shut. The other eye flashed angrily as she approached.

The four girls were silent as she stopped in front of them, turned slowly and glared down at them all, her face a rictus of fury.

"Just so you know..." she said venomously, her jaw clenched as if wired shut. "I hate you all more than you could ever possibly imagine. I hate you, I would never want to be like any of you, and I hate you."

She swung herself around and began limping up the path again, still bristling with anger.

"All the things you said to me

I was so obsessed (don't cry)

You were always talking, talking

God I did my best

Heaven is cold

Without any soul

It's hard to believe

I was so in love with you

I was so in love with you..."

Karen turned and looked at her friends, her lovely features creased with uncharacteristic confusion. "Do any of you have the faintest clue as to who that was?"

Lisa, Janet, and Mona all shrugged helplessly.

"Heaven is cold

Without any soul

It's hard to believe

I was so in love with you