Alpha Ch. 11

"Saidy please." He said.

"You're hungry I can feel it."

"But I don't want to hurt you." He repeated.

"You won't, I want you to do it." She responded softly and Dylan groaned.

Giving over to his primal needs Dylan tore into her neck and felt her blood rush out over his tongue. It was too much, he lost control and pounded into her chasing his orgasm blindly.

Ealasaid cried out as she came and the fluttering of her pussy around his cock pushed him higher and he spilled his cum into her. He slumped back against the bed and stroked her back. She kissed him tenderly, tasting her blood on his mouth.

Suddenly, she felt sad. An aching hole felt like it had opened in her chest and she stroked his hair back from his forehead. His eyes had returned to their perfect blue and he looked just as she remembered him.

"Why did you do it?" She asked.

Dylan had no words. He didn't know how to respond to her question, he knew exactly what she was talking about but he couldn't bring himself to think about what had happened in the Order.

"I loved you so much. So much. Why couldn't you love me back?" Ealasaid continued and to her horror she felt a tear roll down her cheek.

"I did." Dylan insisted.

"It wasn't good enough for you. You meant everything to me and you gave me to those people. Why?"

"I don't know." Dylan knew that nothing he could say would make what he did better.

"When they brought you to me and you did what you did, you said they made you. Was that true?"

He sighed, there was no point in trying to lie to her. She would know. "No."

"Then why?"

"Because I wanted you. You were all I could think of and I'm weak. I'm greedy and when I saw you there, still waiting for LaBelle and I knew you would never want me like I wanted you and I snapped. I wasn't strong enough to fight it anymore and," he paused and swallowed the painful lump in his throat, "I'm sorry."

"Why did you want to hurt me? You never said a word to me and then when I couldn't fight back you hurt me. Why?" Ealasaid didn't know why she wanted to talk about that night but she found herself needing to hear his reasoning.

Dylan struggled for a moment before sighing, pushing himself into a sitting position and moving up the bed to sit against the pillows. Ealasaid crawled from his lap and sat cross-legged while he tidied his jeans. Dragging his hands down his face he searched for where to begin.

"Faes have a power over other creatures. Even before the change, it was so hard to stay sane around you and when I saw you in the Order, it all just got too much. I wasn't strong enough to stop myself. It's no excuse and I should have fought harder but that is the truth."

Ealasaid nodded. For a while it seemed like she wasn't going to say anything, then, taking a shuddering breath, she looked at him with tear filled eyes.

"And Grif? Why did you take him from me?"

A white-hot pain gripped Dylan's chest as he thought about his old friend. He hadn't allowed himself to think about Grif since he and Abrielle had taken his life.

"I was scared. I didn't want to die. I know where I'm going and I would have done anything to prevent it. I was selfish and was trying to save myself from going to Hell."

"And that was a good enough reason to kill him? He did nothing to you and you took him." Ealasaid's voice rose along with her anger and outside, storm clouds started to gather. They blocked out the sun and sent chills through the castle halls.

"All I could think of is what Hell would be like. Never seeing you again, never being able to touch you again or tell you what you mean to me. Never being able to tell you that I love you and that was too awful to even think about."

"And now?" Ealasaid asked.

"I've told you and if you want me dead then, I'll do nothing to stop you."

Ealasaid twisted her hands together in her lap. Her lower lip trembled as she tried to force back her tears. She felt weak, powerless.

"When I had you brought to me, it's because I wanted to watch you die. I wanted to watch the life drain out of you but now, I don't know if I can." Her face crumpled as the tears began to fall and Dylan reached for her.

He pulled her against his chest and arranged her so she straddled his lap. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she buried her face into his neck. His heart was pounding as she nestled close to him. He didn't know what she was thinking.

"I don't want to kill you. I don't want to lose anyone else, I don't want to be all alone again." She said, her voice was muffled against his skin and he could feel her tears rolling down his neck.

He didn't notice her reaching for the stake beneath the pillow but when the tip pressed against his chest he wasn't surprised. She didn't lift her head from his shoulder and he felt the trembling of her body grow more violent.

"I don't want to kill you but I have to. You're my weakness and I can't afford to have any weaknesses. I have a family to take care of, a Pack. There are hundreds of people who count on me to keep them safe and I can't do that when I'm holding on to what my life used to be. You're my last reminder of that and so, you have to go."

Not giving herself anymore time to think she plunged the stake into his heart. A sharp gasp filled her head and he went still against her. Her tears were flowing freely now and she couldn't bring herself to look into his face.

"I love you." She managed to choke out and felt his huff of laughter in his chest.

"I love you too baby."

His last words lingered in her head and she felt his body beginning to disappear. It was as if he was fading from existence, his skin turning to ash and within minutes he was gone. Ealasaid heard the stake drop to the bed and she hung her head. She listened to the driving rain as she tried to calm her tears and the trembles that racked her body.

Her body was numb when she finally pushed herself from the bed and moved back through to the bathroom. Washing herself with water from the large stone sink she pulled her hair into a ponytail on top of her head and looked at the mark on her neck. It didn't heal and she knew that, for the rest of her life, she would carry the two small puncture wounds with her.

Back in the bedroom, she deliberately avoided looking at the bed as she dressed in jeans and a cropped t-shirt, and left the room quickly. Just outside her door she ran into two of her Pack members and stopped them.

"The sheets in my room need to be changed and I want the windows opened."

"Yes, Alpha." They nodded their heads and she reached out to take their hands in hers.

"I want no trace of him left in there, do you understand?"

They nodded and she kissed their foreheads tenderly. Leaving them to get started she made her way through the hallways and into the kitchen. A huge island stood in the middle of the room and mammoth fireplaces lined the back wall. The kitchen was stocked to the ceiling with meats, vegetables, fruits, and other foods and she took a deep breath. She needed to distract herself from what had just happened and so dragged a bowl towards her and began making a dough.

As she mixed and kneaded the tension began to disappear and she felt her shoulders relax. Pushing the dough away from her, she gathered meat and vegetables, a knife and began to chop them into thick chunks. She was so absorbed in her work she didn't hear anyone enter and when a hand touched her lower back she jumped.

"Jesus fuck, you scared the Hell out of me." She said accusingly, placing her hand over her heart and she looked up into Lucius' green eyes.

He smiled apologetically and leant against the island. He watched her for a moment before staring at the floor and scuffing his foot along the stone floor.

"I need to apologise for what I said." He said and she shook her head.

Holding up her hand, still holding the knife and stopped him.

"No, you don't. You're right, I've been acting like a spiteful little child and I need to grow up. I've had a shitty time but everyone here has, I need to act like an Alpha and I haven't been."

"You're not a spiteful child. You've had it worse than most of us and you're right, me and Drago and everyone else all got a chance to be angry but you didn't. If you want to act out and cause a little mayhem, then we'll be here when you're ready to come back." He offered a tired smile.

"I'm not going anywhere; you wouldn't survive a day without me." She teased with a wink.

She turned and waved her hand. A roaring fire burst to life in the metal oven and she nodded her head to the heavy pans hanging from the ceiling.

"Could you grab me one of those?"

Lucius did as she asked and placed it on the stovetop. Ealasaid poured in the oil and then added the meat, listening in satisfaction to the sizzling noise that filled the kitchen.

"I have to apologise for something else too." She didn't turn and addressed him over her shoulder and she watched the meat cook.

"Oh yeah?"

"I've been playing games with you, and Anton, and everyone really. It was just nice that for once I was the one using people for fun and not being used. I shouldn't have acted that way."

"I like your games Little One and I know Anton does. Oana hasn't been that thrilled though." Lucius said lightly.

"Yeah, I haven't been a very good friend to her recently." Ealasaid's shoulders slumped and Lucius grabbed her wrist.

Spinning her around, he held her upper arms and bent so their faces were level. His bright green eyes held her intently and he spoke sincerely.

"I understand what this is like. I know what it's like when you escape a place like the Order and I know that you need some time to be angry. I've been expecting too much of you, we all have. Fuck you're just a kid and you've been through more than any of us can imagine. If you need time to go off the rails, kill a few people and make me so horny I can hardly think, then you do it. We'll support you and when you're ready to be our Alpha then we'll be here to help you learn how. Whatever you need, we'll be here to help you with it."

"Really?" She asked and he snickered.

"Course we will. We're your Council it's our job."

"Will you help me cook?"

He laughed again and kissed her forehead. "Course I will."

He let her go and waited for her instructions. For the next few hours they worked together and by the time the sun was beginning to set the kitchen was filled with heavenly scents and the tables were groaning with food.

Ealasaid stuck her hands on her hips and looked proudly at the food.

"You know, cooking without gas or electricity is sort of fun." She said with a wide smile.

"It's different, I'll give you that." Lucius pushed his hair back from his forehead and rubbed the back of his neck. "What's all this for anyway?"

"Back in Scotland, I could go for days without seeing my parents or Tavish. My dad would be sent away by the Order or Tavish or my mother would travel to help him with his research. When they came back, the whole village would celebrate, my father was very important to the people in our village. Most of them had never seen anything outside our homes and the forest surrounding us and my dad had these wonderful tales of places he'd been and things he'd seen. People were more aware of creatures like us back then." She wrapped her arms around her waist and looked to the floor as she remembered her father and the simpler times of her childhood.

"Whatever he brought back, money, clothes, food, he's share with everyone. We weren't wealthy but he made sure no one went without. When we knew he was coming back we'd spend the whole day cooking, roasting meats and making stews. We'd bake pies, bread, cakes if we could afford to. We'd bring it all to the village hall, put all the tables together and we'd spend the evening eating and drinking. It was like a big family. Not as big as the one I have now but it felt huge when I was younger." A sad smile curved her lips.

"After a family has been apart for a long time, eating together and laughing and singing always brings them back. I've kept us apart for too long and so now I'm going to bring us back together and this is the way I know how."

"Then I'll get the dining hall ready." Lucius chucked her under the chin and left her.

She let out a breath that she hadn't realised she had been holding. She hadn't been sure of how he would react to the plan but his simple acceptance of her version of an apology had given her a new confidence. Within minutes a group of excited Pack members flooded into the kitchen and chattering loudly began to take the food through to the dining hall. Ealasaid directed them to the cellar where the wine and spirits were kept and then followed Lucius.

The hall was lit by hundreds of candles. Crowds of people bustle around busily, laying the table, setting up chairs and filling the tables with food. Ealasaid felt eyes on her and turned to look at her Council. Nix's hand rested on her stomach and Elena sat at her feet, her tail wrapped around her paws and her eyes watching the children as they played. Anton and Corban were looking at her with a proud smile and Lucius stood beside Oana. Oana's blue eyes were wary but Ealasaid could see a glimmer of hope there. Lothair's Council had melded with her own and they all watched her in interest.

Ealasaid wasn't ready to face them yet and so she turned and disappeared into the throngs of people. They all stared at her in devotion as she moved through them elegantly. She picked at the food and once she held a glass of wine, it was never empty. There was a warmth in the room that she hadn't felt in months and she thrived on it even as the chill of her Councils worry pressed at the back of her mind.

She didn't know how much time had passed but eventually, she found herself at the head table. Her entire Council was sat, some still ate, most drank and all had cautious smiles on their faces.

"I feel like all I do is apologise to you guys." Ealasaid started with a sigh.

"And yet I never get tired of hearing it." Corban quipped and a soft ripple of laughter spread through the Council.

Ealasaid couldn't hide her smile. "I thought I was ready to be your Alpha but I was angry. I wanted my old life back, I wanted to be a kid again, I never got to be one really. I just wanted some time to be angry about what happened to me but I went about it all the wrong way."

She swallowed and her feet shifted nervously. "I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping you away, I was trying not to hurt you but I got angry with Drago for doing this exact same thing. I got a bit of a kick up the ass yesterday and I got rid of the problem."

Corban stood and Ealasaid couldn't help but cringe away. He came around the table and she craned her neck to look up into his cold green eyes.

"Take a walk with me kid." His large hand rested around the back of her neck and she found herself being marched from the dining hall.

He said nothing as he lead her through the castle and down the stone steps that lead into the forest. He was silent as they walked through the trees and only turned to look at her when they reached a small clearing. The sun was beginning to set but the air was still warm and Corban reached into his pocket. Pulling out a pack of cigarettes he offered her one before taking his own and lighting them.

"So, you've seen Drago?" He asked finally.

She nodded. "Yeah."

"He knows where we are?"

"Yeah." She repeated.

"That's worrying." Corban paused and inhaled the smoke deep into his lungs. His eyes were hard and she felt worry rising in her chest. She had never seen him like this before.

"Sometimes I think we all forget how young you are." Finally, Corban spoke.

"I was born over a hundred years ago, I'm far from young." She said hearing the bitterness in her voice.

"But you've spent so many of those without a family to take care of you. You had to grow up too quickly. We never think about everything you went through before you came here. You weren't much older than my fucking kids when they started the change, I wouldn't expect them to take on anything so why should I expect it of you."

"Because I'm your Alpha." She offered meekly.

"But you never wanted to be. You never wanted this. You fell in love with someone, he brought you into his world and then left you in it. Because of him you were put in Hell, tortured, every last piece of your humanity taken and now we're expecting you to step into his role and be happy about it?"

Ealasaid didn't know what to say. She stared down at her feet, flexing her toes in the soft grass and listening to the soft breeze playing through the trees.

"We need to help you through this, not ask you to push everything down and pretend like this is what you wanted," Corban said. He threw the butt of his cigarette away and gently hooked his finger under her chin.

She looked into his eyes and felt a pain start in her chest. Her eyes stung but she held herself tall.

"What do you want Ealasaid?" He asked.

She opened her mouth but no words came out. She didn't know how to answer him. Her lip trembled and she pursed them together defiantly.

"I want Grif back, and Dylan. I want to go back to working in the diner and living with Dexter. I want to cook for him and play pool with Dylan and go for drinks after work together. I want my old life back. It wasn't perfect and I didn't have money or things but I was happy. I just want to be happy again."

Corban was silent as he regarded her closely. Her grey eyes were stormy, emotion whirling in their depths and he could feel the tension coming from her. The air around her seemed to move, crackling with electricity and he nodded calmly.

"Dylan's gone?" He asked simply.

Her nose twitched and her tears fell. The memory of his cold skin against her and the acceptance in his voice, as he had told her he loved her, gripped her heart in ice. She struggled to draw breath and Corban placed his hand across her stomach.

"Hey, easy kid. Deep breath, nice and slow."

Her throat closed and she gasped in a breath. Her chest was tight and her eyes darted back and forth across the ground. Tears were pouring down her face and Corban felt fear for the first time. She had always been so strong, even after Drago left, but now she seemed to be breaking before his eyes.

Swinging her into his arms he sprinted back to the castle and through the halls. He didn't stop at her bedroom, continuing up the spiral staircase in one of the turrets and nudged open the door. The room was spacious, a huge four-poster bed stood against one wall and a door on the other side lead to a bathroom.

Corban gently sat her on the edge of the bed and knelt in front of her gently tapping her cheek. Her eyes were vacant but finally she looked at him.

"Eala, I don't know what happened today. I don't know what Drago said to you and I don't know what I can do to make it better. If you need a day, a week, six months then we'll give you that time. I'll run things here until you're ready to come back. If you want to stay in here, then I'll bring you everything you need. If you want to go back and stay with Dexter, then I'll make sure no one knows where you are. If you want to go and punish people who are hurting humans, then I'll be waiting for you when you come back."

Ealasaid was still quiet. Her eyes were on him but it was as though she didn't even see him. Corban was lost but just as he was about to leave, her voice, small and trembling, pierced his thoughts.

"I think I'd like to go to sleep."

"Of course," Corban said and gently lay her back against the pillows. Tucking the sheets tightly around her he tucked a stray curl behind her ear.

"Will you stay, until I go to sleep?" She asked.

"Course." Corban repeated and pulled a plush chair from the corner of the room.