Alternative Path

We sat at a window table of our favorite pub and I told her everything. I tried to make it seem like it was because of her.

"Look, Marcia, you're doing porn. You have sex on set with men, women, shemales, all I did was go to a porn shop."

"Dressed like a tranny?!? That's not 'just going to a porn shop'," she said. "Did you suck cock? Are you a tranny? Are you a faggot?"

She was getting angry, loud, making a scene. I sat there unable to defend myself, she didn't know it, but I was wearing panties under my clothes. People were starting to stare and I could see men nearby laughing, averting their eyes, trying to shield their cringe.

"Are you gay? Are you wearing panties right now?" she paused. She was looking at me with disdain in her eyes. "Oh my god, you are!! Why don't you show everyone here if that's what you really want? Why save it for the porn shop? Everyone here would love it, I'm sure you would!"

"Angel," I begged. "Please, can we just talk about this?" I brought the conversation back to between the two of us. I glanced around and people seemed to have stopped paying us mind. "I was jealous angel," I continued at a whisper. "You were going off and doing god knows what at these porn shoots. You never tell me anything about what you do, you won't even let me ask. Sonia tells me all about your girls' nights out, and the bachelorette party?!! I know what you do, Sonia thinks I'm crazy to still be with you. When she asked me if I knew about what you do...I had to say yes. I wanted her to think we'd had an arrangement, an understanding."

"Well, that's unfortunate. I told them you didn't know," she said.

"But what about the porn shoots you do? Did you tell them I know about those?"

"Of course, but I told them I forbid you to ask me about them. They know those are just for me," she told me.

"But you tell them, I know that. Sonia told me all about what goes on. She told me everything. I had to sit there and act like I knew already. She didn't believe me. If she does, well then she must think I'm one hell of a cuckold."

We sat quietly for a while. I finished my beer and went to get us another round. I could feel everyone, at least it seemed that way, looking at me.

I walked back to our table. Marcia was chatting with a couple of guys at the next table. I used to get so angry. She was always flirting and then making it seem like I was just being jealous. I put her mojito down as she drained the one she'd been sipping on.

Marcia could see my jealousy, "Oh please just stop already."

"Well, you are flirting. I saw from the bar," I tried to accuse her.

"That's what you want though Ondre," she looked at me. "You love it. Remember Jack's rehearsal dinner, don't you? I know you do, you probably play with yourself picturing it."

"No," I refuted. "No, you liked it, I just let you."

She laughed out loud, "Let me!!?? Don't make me laugh. You loved it, your hot wife with a mouthful of cock. You remember right? I remember all you did was sit in the chair playing with yourself."

"Marcia," I said. "I hadn't even finished proposing it to you and you'd pulled your dress up over your hips and spread yourself open. You were giggling and laughing, pulling your pantyhose up against your pussy. No panties, just your shaved cunt smashed against your nylons. I didn't even have to suggest it and you were unzipping his pants and sucking his cock."

She started laughing. I could see her eyes glaze over remembering the scene.

"Look at you," I said. "You're horny just imagining it."

"Ondre," she said calmly. "I did it for you. You were too much of a sissy to ask. If you didn't want me to do it you would have stopped me. But you didn't. You just sat there playing with yourself."

"Well yeah," I said. "You looked sexy as hell. You seemed to go into a trance. It was like you were set free. I could see how turned on it made you. That's all I've ever wanted for you Marcia. When it comes to our sex lives, I only wanted you to feel good. That's what got me so turned on."

Marcia paused, smiling. We sat drinking our drinks and I felt her toes on my leg, she was rubbing her foot up my calf and up to my thigh. She has the sexiest feet of any woman I'd known up to that time in my life. She was the first woman I'd been with who kept her feet perfectly pedicured. She knew I loved her feet. I felt her pressing against my cock, she was rubbing my panties against my cock and balls.

"Marcia," I began. "I know you like it. I think it's the power you feel. I think you like doing porn because you know men will masturbate looking at you. I think that's why you lose control at girls' night. Sonia told me about the bachelorette party. Did you like everyone watching you? Is that why you like it so much?"

She thought for a while grabbing my cock with her toes, smiling.

"That's part of it," she said. "You're right about the porn. It turns me on to see myself like that. Like a slut. Like an object of desire. But the bachelorette party, I was drunk. The strippers were letting everyone touch and suck them. Sonia and Rasche were too, all the girls were. When I did, it was like being an exhibitionist. I wanted to show everyone. I don't know why, but it's so arousing to be on display like that. Like everyone is watching me and getting turned on. I love being that object that everyone wants."

"Yes," I said. "That's what I saw the night of Jack's rehearsal dinner. You were laughing with arousal. I absolutely loved seeing you that joyous."

"I'm joyous like that when we're together Ondre," she said. I could tell she thought I was hurt.

"I know angel," I said. "We have, at least I feel like we have a really great and joyous time with our sex. But I know you have these needs, or these moments that you seek that I can't give you. I know that you like being with me, your orgasms are proof of that. A woman can't orgasm with a man if she's not enjoying herself. But I understand you want, or you need, or you like more. And I'm ok with that."

"Really?" she was genuinely asking if I was Ok with her extracurriculars.

"Yes angel," I assured her. "I wish you would tell me about your porn shoots, your girls' nights, your adventures. I just want to be assured you love me. I want to know you'll always come home to me. I don't need to be there if it makes you uncomfortable, but it sure seemed like you liked me in the room when you sucked Jack's cock on the eve of his wedding."

"Open your pants," she said. "Let me rest my toes on your panties."

I opened my pants and unzipped. The table concealed everything. The bar was dark now. No one could see. I felt her toes nuzzle up into my warm soft panties.

"I do like it. Everyone watching me. When I lose control, like the bachelorette party, I can't help myself. I know the other girls think I'm a slut, but I don't care. I've got a degree from an Ivy League school, a master's degree from one of the best business schools in the country, and I work for a top ad firm in the city, those bitches can think what they want."

"I know baby," I said. "That's why I love you. You are an amazing and sexy beast."

I felt your foot working around loosening my pants and exposing my panties.

"Marcia," I began. "I know you need, or want these moments. The porn, the wild nights where you can let yourself go. I know it's not everything about you, it doesn't define you, but I want to be a part of it. I want you to know that I am ok with it. I would love to be a part of it in any way. If you feel like you want to let loose and be a slut then you can bring them to our house. I don't have to be there, I'd like to be there, but if you want to be alone just let me know. I just want to be secure and know you will always want me in the end."

"And if I bring home more than one man?" she asked.

"Would you want me there?" I asked.

"If they fucked me in my pussy and mouth?" she asked.

"Can I be there?" I asked.

"What if I told you you had to sit in the corner and couldn't engage? What if one fucked me doggy style and the other fucked my mouth? Would you kneel at the foot of the bed and suck my toes as one man fucks my pussy and one fucks my mouth? Would you dress up like a sissy crossdresser and touch yourself while sucking on my toes as two men spit-roasted me? Would you worship me in front of those men and show me and them how devoted you are to your wife and her needs?"

She was rubbing the front of my panties with her naked toes and I was lost in fantasy. "Yes," I said repeatedly. "Yes angel. As long as I know you will always love me. As long as I know I will always be the one you want. As long as I know you want me to be your husband for life."

"Pull your pants back on and get us another round baby," she said.

I brought back another mojito and a beer for me, plus two vodka shots for us. We clinked our shot glasses and slammed them in one gulp.

"You're not off the hook here panty girl," she said. "I want to know about the porn shops?"

"Will you tell me about the porn shoots?" I said. "And I want all the details."

"Ok, but you need to remember, I've wanted to be in porn even before we'd met," she reminded me.

"I started going to porn shops after you started doing porn shoots," I started. "I was jealous."

"Do you want to do porn?"

"No," I said. "Not really, unless I could get a lot of money. And I know that's not possible. Every guy would do porn if he could."

"So what were you jealous of?"

"You were having fun," I said. "Sexy fun...without me. Even though you never shared with me what you were doing, or even any photos or film, I've seen the toys they've given you. I knew you were having some sexual adventures and I wanted my own adventures.

"So, one night while you were at a shoot, I dressed up under my clothes, smoked a joint, and drove down to the east side where we buy our toys. At first, I just looked at the toys and outfits, but I noticed the clerk was busy with a line of customers and on a whim, darted into the back and went into the first available booth. I undressed so I was just in my outfit."

"What were you wearing?" she asked.

"My pink outfit. Vanity Fairs, chemise, white nude thigh highs with a white garter belt."

"Why did you need to wear the whole outfit?" she asked.

"I love the risk involved, and I'm glad I did. I had no idea that the booths had two-way glass. There were switches on the wall that allowed you to "ask permission" to view, and if you "granted permission" they could view you. Or you could "make available" for viewing, and then the person in the other booth can press "view now" and the window unfogs and the other person sees you.

"It was very exciting. I put some money in the video screen and before I could really make a decent choice, both booths on either side asked permission to view. They must have been lurking in the shadows waiting for someone to enter a booth. I could see they both had "available for viewing" on their own side and all I would have had to do was press "view" and I could have seen them too. I granted them access to "view me" but kept their glass fogged. I didn't want to see them.

"Both booths could see me and as soon as they saw me they started knocking on the wall."

"What?!?" Marcia was stunned.

"Yeah," I said. "They wanted me, baby," I laughed.

"Did you see them? What did they look like? Were they hot?" she bombarded me with questions.

"I don't know angel," I said. I never looked. "But as soon as they started knocking I pulled out my cock and started masturbating. I came in like ten seconds it was so exciting."

"Oh my god, really!?!" she was laughing.

"Yeah," I said. "I know it's nothing compared to what you're doing, but I think I understand why you like doing porn so much. I mean, these men can see me, they got off watching me, but I couldn't see them. I mean later I would unfog their windows too. But for the first few times, I'd just masturbate and leave without ever seeing them.

"I also understand why you never wanted to share what you were doing with me, it's kind of embarrassing. But now, saying it out loud to you, confessing everything to you, is very arousing. But that first time I shot my load, cleaned up the floor with the paper towels they provide, and ran out the door.

"So, basically after that, every time you went to a porn shoot I went to the porn shop. The first four times were just like the first time. It wasn't until the fifth time that I unfogged the glass. The guy was begging me. He kept telling me how nice of a guy he was, he was harmless he just wanted to show me and I could tell from his lisp he was gay so I felt secure with a two-way viewing."

"Was he hot," Marcia asked.

"I don't know," I hesitated.

"C'mon," she said. "You know!!"

"Ok, he was one of those obviously gay-looking guys. He was 15-20 years older than me, but he was in good shape. And hairless, totally hairless. And smooth as silk. We stared at each other. I took my cock out of my panties and he grabbed his shaved cock and we started masturbating. We both kept looking back and forth between each other's cocks and eyes. Like we were testing each other."

"Did you like it?"

"I couldn't cum. His cock was uncut and ugly. I liked his smooth body though, but his cock was ugly."

"Ugly!?! What's ugly?"

"I don't know," I laughed. "It didn't look like mine. Not that I have a great giant cock, I know it's not, but I like the circumcised look, plus mine is clean and straight, with no warts or weird bulges. His had this weird bulge, like a goiter."

We both laughed.

"You should be counting your lucky stars my cock is so beautiful," I laughed.

Marcia laughed and nodded in agreement. "You do have a nice cock. You should be thankful and don't take that for granted.

"Did you ever come across one you liked?" she asked genuinely.

"Only one," I said. "It looked just like mine. Completely shaved."

"Did you suck it?" she asked.

"No," I said. I paused, thinking whether or not I should admit it, then said, "I wanted to, but I've never sucked a real cock, plus, honestly Marcia, I didn't want to cheat on you."

Marcia laughed out loud. "You don't think what you were doing was cheating? Really?"

"I know that it's cheating, but at the time, it was just like watching porn. No touching, not even in the same booth."

"But it's cheating, you know that?"

"Yes, but I was jealous angel. I know you have sex at those porn shoots, I rationalized that what I was doing was harmless."

"Well, you know that you hurt me right?" She said. "You knew I've wanted to do porn, you know that's my own private pursuit. So, in the future, you need to get my permission if you're going to go again. And if you want to suck a cock, you need to text me and get my permission as well."

"Really?" I was stunned.

"Yes. I think that's fair. If I'm going to continue going to the shoots, you can go whenever I go. But you must text me if you're going to suck one.

"Also, if and when I bring a man home, you can only touch me. When I bring a man home it will be because he wants me...a woman, not a man. I want a man who is hungry for me because I'm a woman. I will want you in the room only if he understands your role is worshipping me, your beautiful wife."

I was shocked by what she was telling me and was just thinking.

"Most men that I bring home probably won't even want you in the room, but those that do need to see you submitting to me. I have had this fantasy since I was very young. I have this recurring image in my mind sometimes. I'm getting fucked, really fucked good and I catch my roommate watching me through the crack in the doorway. He's a really sweet guy, but a total pussy. I order him into the room and I and my boyfriend demean and humiliate him. We force him to undress and masturbate. I don't let him cum. I get that feeling from you at times. Something about totally subjugating you in this way is very arousing," she paused.

"If we can get a man on board with that, I want you to play out that fantasy."

She could see me mulling this over and she sensed I was bordering on having hurt feelings. In truth though, it was a fantasy of mine too. To be humiliated by my sexy wife and her lover. Forced to help her, comfort her, and service her in whatever she wanted.

"Baby," she said. "It's just a game. It's not something I want in any permanent way, it's just a roleplay fantasy. You are my husband. You're my man. Even if you like wearing panties and sucking cocks."

"Ok baby," she said. "Get us another round, Grey Goose this time on the shots. Come back and I'll tell you about last weekend's shoot."

I went to the bar.

I was feeling better, the situation seemed to be looking up. I was in love, I felt like Marcia still loved me just as she always had. We would, I told myself, continue having sex. We were a perfect match sexually, we both have vivid imaginations, I can provide her with certain pleasures no other person can, and she provides me with hers. Although, if I'm honest the scales tip considerably when it comes to who derives morning pleasure.

I handed her her mojito, sat down and slid her a shot, and toasted, "Here's to good old-fashioned story hour. Now let's get to it."

I paused, pregnantly, and looked into her eyes. "Angel," I began. "I can't tell you how much love I feel for you because you're finally revealing everything to me."

"Even though I've told our friends?" She smiled.

"I know, but I trust them," I said. "I've been friends with them much longer." I smiled and gulped my beer.

"And they've seen my porn," she said. "And don't forget the bachelorette party. That was a live performance."

She knew what she was doing. I fought the jealous urge and held her hands in mine.

"Is this all part of it," I asked. "Are we "playing" now? If we are you are driving me crazy. I need you to know baby." I paused. "I trust you, angel, I'll always be your man, the one you come home to. I believe you when you tell me those words."

She held me, looked me in the eyes, smiled the way I know she is true, and kissed me across the table. "I'll tell you about last week's," she began.