Alvarez

My head is spinning at all this information. Alvarez? Me? What?

"I have a boyfriend?" I say in shock, "He told you that I have a boyfriend?"

Bennett nods her head and looks at me funny.

"Yeah, girl. He said he was in college, and that y'all are planning on getting married once he graduates and you get out. He said ya'll were practically engaged," Bennett tells me as if she is reminding me about my own life. And the way she is talking to me it is like she thinks I have amnesia.

I sit down on Bennett's striped bed.

"Why would he tell you guys that? Why would I date Alvarez if I have a boyfriend? That doesn't even make any sense!" I cry.

Bennett pauses and then laughs.

"Don't worry girl, I don't judge," She says as if that makes this any better.

"But I don't even have a boyfriend! And I'm not even dating Alvarez!" I blurt out before I can stop myself. I realize that it is my words against Alavrez's and Bennett has no reason to believe me over him. But why would he tell everyone that I am dating someone?

But more importantly why would he say that he's taking me out on dates too?

Bennett studies my face more for a second.

"Oh my god. Alvarez is a fucking lying ass bitch," She says quietly as if she's just been given some bad test results at the doctor's office.

She shakes her head and then sits down next to me.

"That little bitch is a snake just like the rest of these niggas," But her voice sounds angry this time as if she's ready to go kill someone, "And here I thought he was a good guy"

I hold my breath. This is the first time I've ever heard someone talk bad about Alvarez or imply that he has bad motives. Just like I can see, maybe Bennett can finally see it too. And the relief I feel to finally be able to have someone who can see that is so immense, I feel like my heart is going to soar out of my chest.

Bennett reaches out and puts her arm over my shoulder.

I'm no longer alone. I finally feel safe here in the Army. Like Bennett is one of my older cousins who came to visit me and I told her about the kids who are picking on me at school. It is as if she's going to take care of everything and get rid of all of my bullies.

"When y'all came to the unit, he made it seem like y'all have been hooking up together since Basic Training," She tells me.

I nearly spit.

"What?" I cry.

Hooking up?

Alvarez has been plotting against me since we first got here. I knew he was evil, but to hear it confirmed that I never even had a chance when I inprocessed to this base makes me sad. I had hoped that maybe I could at least try to have things different here. But just like my instincts told me, as long as Alvarez is around he was never going to let me have a chance at being treated like I am normal.

"Yeah, so we all thought you were boo'd up. That you had a serious boyfriend back home, but an Army boo, too so you wouldn't be lonely while you're away," Bennett continues, "Like I said, I don't judge. People do that shit. So, I didn't question it. And none of us ever thought to ask you the truth because you seem like you didn't want to be bothered by anyone else. So, this bitchass mothefucker got away with lying on you. Trying to act like he's been sleeping with you"

I feel nauseous and dizzy.

"So everyone in the unit thinks that I'm sleeping with Alvarez, not just dating him or something?" I ask her.

Bennett looks at me and her eyes get sad at the expression on my face.

"Yeah," She says quietly.

I stand up. My heart is beating so fast and the room feels like it is spinning. How could he do that? How could he make up lies about me! Getting everyone to call me a serial killer is one thing! But lying that he slept with me is another.

"I've never slept with him!" I cry, "I don't even like Alvarez! He's an asshole!"

I shock myself at that last part.

Even Bennett's eyes widened.

"Ok, Wilkins," She says with a smile, "Tell me how you really feel. I didn't know you could curse. I think I might be a bad influence on you"

I look down in embarrassment.

I take a deep breath and try to calm down.

"He's made my life a living hell since the first day I got to Basic Training. We were in the same platoon, and he noticed that I didn't get any mail the first week. So, he comes up to me and starts talking to me as if he really wants to be my friend. Then he asks if I have any friends at home. And I opened up to him that I didn't really have a lot of friends in High School because I am kind of shy. And he said he understands and will help me make some friends in our platoon instead.

At first I thought he was a really good guy, and that he was really kind. So, I would talk to him a lot because he was the only one who seemed to actually make it a point to talk to me. And I thought he really was helping me, because everyone seemed to be willing to come up to me more and include me. As if him just being around me showed everyone that I'm not an antisocial person, just an introverted one. But one day as I walk up to the group, I see Alvarez whispering to the other people in my platoon. And they all kept looking at me and laughing.

And then for some reason everyone started to treat me differently and no one wanted to talk to me anymore. They all started ostracizing me! Like I was a weirdo or something. And then he starts calling me Serial Killer. And it was like everyone else just followed his lead," I told Bennett.

She shakes her head in disbelief.

I go on.

"I thought when we graduated from Basic Training I'd get a fresh start. But Alvarez is the same MOS as me, so we ended up going to the same school. And the same thing happened there, too. And now here," I say.

Bennett speaks up.

"That fucking snake," She says, "I didn't want to tell you this, but I might as well go ahead"

I look at her in wonder at what else could it be that Alvarez has done to sabotage me.

"He basically made it seem like you were a slut," She says.

My heart drops to my knees and my hands start to shake.

"He told us that you would steal other girls boyfriends back at Basic and AIT, and that you were kind of like a known hoe," Bennett seems like she feels ashamed to tell me all of this, "So, a lot of the girls kind of don't like you already"

I feel tears spring up in my eyes.

"I hate him," I say.

And before I can stop myself, I break down and start sobbing.

I hear Bennett exit our shared door that leads to our kitchen and bathroom area and she comes back to hand me some tissue. I wipe the tears and snot from my nose.

"It's ok, girl," She tells me, "He's a little bitch"

Somehow, Bennett calling Alvarez a little bitch makes me giggle through the tears.

"Yeah, he is," I say shyly.

"He's also obviously obsessed with you and can see that you're really pretty," She says as if she's trying to make me feel better.

But I just feel weird hearing that. I can't imagine Alvarez being obsessed with any part of me. Let alone secretly thinking I am pretty. I thought he just had it out for me because I'm weaker than him and he's an evil person.

"He knows you're out of his league, so he's using your inexperience and shyness to his advantage," Bennett continues to tell me, "The motherfucker is twisted. Which makes me wonder about that promotion he got. He must be the one who rigged that shit"

"What?" I ask. This is news to me.

"Yes," Bennett tells me, "He and Lopez tied for the highest PT score. But when it came down to who the Squad Leaders were going to put in for promotion, someone suggested that they let the males vote for who they thought should get it. Which has never been fucking done before. And all the guys magically ended up voting for who? Yeah, you guessed it, Alvarez. Now I'm thinking he knew he might not get the fast track to promotion or the award he got. So, he fucking contrived that shit. He's a snake"

I shake my head. I thought I knew the extent of Alvarez's evilness. But I barely even touched it. This is yet another layer.

"He makes me sick now," Bennett says as if even the thought of Alvarez is too much for her to bare, "The next time I see him I'm going to punch him in the face. Trying to act like the big man on campus or some shit, and like he has you, the baddest girl in the unit, when in reality it's all nothing but a facade. Just cheating and lies"

I blink. I am not a vain person or someone who fishes for compliments. But hearing Bennett call me the baddest girl in the unit throws me off. Because I know Bennett is beautiful. I've always seen her as the kind of girl I wish I looked like. She looks like a mixture between Rihanna, Beyonce, and Halle Berry. Caramel skin. Blue eyes. Loose, thick black curly hair. Full figure.

Meanwhile I am dark, with big, poofy, coily hair and skinny as a toothpick. And taller than the average woman should be.

Bennett seems to analyze me just as I'm going to tell her this.

"Can I ask you a question and you promise you won't get offended?" She asks it in a way like she kind of suspects something.

But I can't imagine anything Bennett has to ask me, offending me more than everything Alvarez has done.

"Of course," I say. I feel like I can trust her. She's not like Alvarez. She wouldn't turn on me if I open up to her. I can tell already how good her character is.

She's silent for a moment but then asks, "Are you still a virgin?"

I immediately feel embarrassed.

"I mean, it's ok," She says, "Girl, we were all one. And I only ask because you seem kind of inexperienced with guys"

"Is it that obvious?" I whisper.

Bennett laughs.

"No," She tells me, "It's shocking. You wouldn't expect it because you're so beautiful people would think you've had tons of boyfriends. I guess that's why it was so easy for us all to believe you were going to steal our man and that you were hooking up with Alvarez"

I shake my head. I've never been told I was ugly. But growing up the only person who ever told me I am beautiful was my mother. And that wasn't really a confidence booster.

"I'm not as beautiful as you though," I say, "You're obviously the prettiest girl in the unit." I stress that last point to counter what she had said about me being the one to hold that title.

Bennett rolls her eyes.

"What makes you think that?" She asks, "I'm not as tall as you or skinny"

I shake my head.

"You're light skin and I'm dark skin," As if that's reason enough. But before I can get out the rest of my words about how beautiful she is, Bennett cuts me off.

"Girl, don't ever say that!" She says, "Ya'll dark skin girls are just as beautiful as us light skins! Where are you from? The south?"

I feel taken aback.

"Yes, actually, South Carolina," I say as if Bennett has psychic powers, because how could she tell that I'm from there.

Bennett shakes her head.

"See, I knew it. I'm from Virginia. And I hate how our people treat each other. Just because my mom was white and I came out with lighter skin does not make me prettier than you. You look like Naomi Campbell and Gabrielle Union if they had a baby! Girl, you are gorgeous and you better recognize it and stop playing!" She tells me.

I am in shock. Someone as pretty as Bennett is telling me that I am pretty, too. Wow.

"Thanks," I say shyly and look at the floor.

Bennett laughs. But when I look back up at her, she has a funny look on her face as if she's made a mistake.

I get frightened. What if I misjudged her? What if she actually is like Alvarez and she is going to use everything I opened up to her about today to make fun of me behind my back with the others from the unit.

"I'm not a lesbian now," She tells me instead.

Huh?

"I'm not either!" I blurt.

Bennett laughs again.

And then I join her, too because it is funny.

"Good, we're going to get along just fine" She says and puts her arm around my shoulder again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"We need to figure out what we're going to do about Alvarez," Bennett tells me.

Even though we both said we are not a lesbian, I am sleeping with her in her bed for the first night. We set up her room and put on Netflix to watch some movies for the rest of the day.

"What do you mean?" I ask because I am halfway asleep.

Bennett let me have one of her silk pillow cases, so this is the first time I am sleeping without my bonnet. And it feels good to let my hair breathe without anything on it at night. Bennett has her hair down, too. And it is funny to see the difference in our hair textures merging on our two pillows.

"I mean we have to decide how we're going to get him back for making all those lies up about you," She says.

"I'll just tell the truth," I say groggily, "...If anyone asks me"

"No, because no one's going to ask you. They don't talk to you, because you don't talk to them. That's not good enough," She says, "They all just automatically continue to believe whatever shit he says"

"Ok, I'll start talking to more people now. And I will tell them myself then," I whisper. I feel like now that talking to people has gotten me good results, like Bennett as my new roommate, that maybe talking to even more people will also help me.

But my eyes are too heavy from all that has happened today to really give Alvarez even more of my energy right now. He's used it up at this point.

"That could work," Bennett says but she still sounds like she is wide awake, "And I could tell people that he's lying on you as well"

"Thank you," I whisper happily. Bennett really is like one of my older cousins. It feels like I have family by my side here now.

Then we settle into sleep. But before I can fully drift off, I hear Bennett sit up.

"No, we can't do that," She says, "Because think of how men are. Even if they say they slept with you, even if it isn't true, other dudes are going to believe it regardless"

I sit up on my elbow and crack open my eyes to look at Bennett. She is wide awake despite that we have PT in a few hours.

Then Bennett says, "What we've got to do is make him look like the little bitch he really is. We've got to play his game. He wants to be a snake? Well, bitch we'll be fucking black mamba"

"What do you mean?" I ask a little bit afriadly, because her voice sounds like she's going to do something to really hurt Alvarez. Even though I don't like him, I don't want to do anything to him other than to get away from the rumors he's created about me.

Bennett grins at me. She looks kind of scary.

"We'll play his game," She says as if she's talking about basketball or something, "Like I said, we'll show everyone in the unit what a pathetic, insecure little boy he really is"

"H-How are we going to do that?" I ask because I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not. It sounds like Bennett wants us to stuff Alvarez in a locker or something. I don't want to turn into the bully myself. I just want the bully to stop bullying me.

Bennett laughs maniacally.

"Well, he has to know his story is unraveling since we're friends now," She sounds like a mad scientist who's looking at all of the data before she makes her master plan.

And even though she's starting to scare me, my heart soars when Bennett calls me her friend. But I don't point it out in case she decides to take it back.

"He knows we're likely to gossip about men and that by now you've told me the truth already and exposed him," She says and I just imagine if we were in lab somewhere she would be rubbing her chin and scribbling on a chalkboard as I look on, "And since he's a snake, he's probably already one step ahead and has told his friends that you might try to lie and say that you guys never slept together or had a thing going on"

Then it is like Bennet has cried eureka, "What we need to do is act like nothing happened!"

"Like nothing happened?" I repeat incredulously as if I'm the assistant who raises her hand to question the mad scientist's plan for experimentation.

"Yeah," Bennett says with a twinkle in her eye like she really is mad as in crazy, "We're going to pretend that you didn't tell me anything. And like we didn't even talk about him at all. And then, you're going to pay him dust"

And the laugh she gives is like the laugh the bad guy does as he cackles about how he's going to conquer the world.

"Huh?" I feel like I'm the dumb like I'm Pinky and she is the Brain.

"You're going to ignore Alvarez. And once you start ignoring him, he's going to try and do everything he can to get you to pay attention to him again. And by that I mean, we're going to have him grovelling at your feet begging you to talk to him again. And everyone's going to see for themselves that he's a fucking snake. Because let's be honest, why would a man chase what he's already had? That's the only way to show the other guys that he's never slept with you! If they see him bending over backwards to try to get you to pay attention to him, they'll know that either he fucked up and you're a free agent or that he never had you in the first place. Either way, it is a win-win because he looks like a little bitch regardless," Bennett explains and she gives a evilly delicious smile as if she's Meredith Blake in The Parent Trap telling her flunky how she plans to send Hallie Parker to boarding school after she marries Hallie's rich dad.

And just like the movie where the flunky tells her he loves her plan...well, I have to admit that now when she's actually explained it doesn't sound too bad.

I blink my eyes a few times because how could Bennett see the solution where I was blind.

Ignore Alvarez? Was it really that simple? Why did I never think to do that before?

"It's perfect," Bennett says as she lays back down.

I smile happily as I lay beside her.

"It is," I admit. The peace I feel just by knowing that I don't have to talk to Alvarez if I don't want to is amazing already.

Bennett and I look at each other and giggle. Maybe she is a bad influence on me. I really am her evil sidekick now.

"I can't wait for PT," I whisper.

Bennett laughs.

"I bet that's the first time anyone's said that," She whispers and closes her eyes to finally go to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So, don't talk to him," Bennett tells me as we get ready for PT in the morning, "and if you really want to get him, don't even acknowledge his ass or look his way"

I nod my head as I put on my PT shorts. I feel like she is my Team Leader debriefing me for combat.

"And if it's hard for you to do, because you seem like you're the type that really doesn't want to be rude to someone even when that person is a jerk and deserves it..." Bennett says.

I look down in embarrassment because she's right. I am that type of person.

"...Just remember how you felt when I told you all the lies he's made up about you," She continues. And it's like she's telling me that I might have to take a life out there tonight during our raid, but to remember that I'm doing it for God and Country.

She puts a hand on my shoulder.

I look at her.

"Remember girl, you're a bad bitch. Start acting like one," She instructs, reminding me that I am Special Forces. I am naturally trained to do this.

"But I don't feel like one," I admit sheepishly. I don't feel like I really am a Green Beret.

"Yeah, but other people don't need to know that," She says, "I feel insecure at times, too but I just fake that shit." It's like she just said that this is what I signed up for. This is what I swore to when I said I would serve and protect.

I am in awe. My head can't wrap around the idea that Bennett feels like I do sometimes too. My Team Leader admitted to also having moments of weakness.

But our moment is over because there is still a war to be won. She places both hands on my shoulder now.

"Remember," She reminds me, "Don't say shit to him." She stresses the objective one last time and with that we go out to complete our mission.