An A to Z of Love

"Mmmmmmmmm." Anna said, sliding herself back and kissing his lips again. She felt his erection pressing at her entrance, just as before, but this time she was in control.

"Mmmmmmmmm." Anna said, pushing back gently and arching her back, rubbing her wetness around his throbbing organ, making it slick with her juices.

"Mmmmmmmmm." Anna said, reaching back with her right hand and carefully positioning him in exactly the right place so she could push back and let him inside her.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah." Anna said as she pushed back, his cock gradually stretching her and filling her up with its warmth. It was the strangest, but most delightful feeling to a man inside her, filling her and pressing against her insides.

John kept himself still, allowing Anna to take things in her own time. It was no hardship for him whatsoever as he loved it when a girl took control. He had always thought he had a bit of a submissive side in bed, and he really loved all the kissing and cuddling that foreplay entailed. The orgasm was just the icing on the cake. The sweet release was all the sweeter for not being hurried.

Anna had him completely inside her now, John could feel her pressing against his public hair. She leaned down and kissed him again, pressing her nipples against his chest. She began to rock backwards and forwards, her chest rubbing against his as she made his cock slide in and out of her. She angled her back to maximise the sensation. The combination of her nipples running across his hot, moist skin and the way his cock felt as it pushed through her insides, stretching her and sending shivers down her spine as it squeezed past that very special spot, was a new and amazing experience.

Now she was completely used to having him inside her and had discovered what gave her the most pleasure, the intensity of the sensations she was experiencing had cast away any remaining inhibitions. She needed to come and pushed herself up, pressing her hands on his chest as she bounced on him faster and faster. The slap, slap, slap of skin against skin formed the sensual drumbeat to her moans as she swung her head from side to side, while John began to groan as his aching balls got ever nearer releasing their load.

He began to meet her downward thrusts, pressing up as she came down, driving every last millimetre of his cock into her as deep as it would go. He felt he could hold back no longer. He grunted as his seed shot out and his whole body tensed as he reached his climax. This was the trigger for Anna, who screamed and convulsed as an overpowering orgasm ricocheted around her body. She collapsed on him, hot, heavy and exhausted.

~~~***~~~

When Anna woke up, she felt John spooning against her and snoring quietly. She glanced at the alarm clock which told her it was 5:30 in the morning, but she felt wide awake and decided that it was lying to her. She moved away from John's heat, pulled the covers away, and turned on her side so she could look at him. She reached down and began to play with his cock and balls until, inevitably, he began to stir. She kissed his chest, then his cheek, then his mouth. His sleepy eyes slowly prised themselves open.

"Hello, you." He said. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," giggled Anna, "but I'd be a lot better if you put that thing of yours inside me again."

"I see," John replied smiling, his cock already beginning to rise to the occasion. He reached to his bedside drawer and unwrapped a fresh condom. "Do you want to put that on me?"

"Oh!" Anna said, taking the rubber ring between her finger and thumb. "I'm not sure I would know what to do?"

John laughed and explained, adding that it was something she should know how to do and that as it was a strawberry-flavoured condom, she could help it on with her lips.

Anna placed it on the tip of his cock which was as hard as steel just from the thought of what she was about to do to him. She placed her thumb and forefinger above the ring and began to pull it down, her mouth following behind. John groaned as he watched her, a look of sweet concentration on her face.

Fully unrolled, Anna looked up at him. "I want you to fuck me this time," she whispered, rolling onto her back and parting her legs. By now John was wide awake and ready. He positioned himself on top of her, supporting most of his weight on his arms. He kissed her strawberry lips, and soon their lips were locked together. He shifted his weight forward slightly and positioned his cock so that it was ready to enter her.

"You might want to guide it in," he whispered, and Anna's hand reached down and gently held him as he pushed forward. She moaned as he began to enter her. It was different this way. He was in control and there was a part of her that loved the feeling that she was just there to give him pleasure, the very thought of giving him pleasure made her tremble.

"Fuck me, John! Use me! Please!" She whispered, she wanted to understand what sex was like for so many of her fellow women and what they loved about it.

John was not the sort of guy who wanted to dominate or use someone, but he could turn it on if required. He grabbed her ankles and pushed her legs up and began to thrust into her, his hips showing her no mercy as they pounded against her. Once he had established his rhythm, there was no stopping him.

Anna's eyes opened wide as he repeatedly plunged into her, causing the most fabulous feelings as he stretched her and rubbed against all the right places. She was emitting little shrieks each time his cock hit her cervix, and her breathing was in time with each of his powerful strokes. Then he grunted and pushed so deep into her she was not even sure if it was pain or pleasure. Instinctively she knew he had come and the very thought was enough to bring all her waves of pleasure to a screaming crescendo.

Rather than collapse on her, John rolled over to the side, hot and completely spent. Anna lay there, her legs apart, enjoying the cooling effect of the air on her overstimulated genitalia. They did not speak for a while, just recovering and enjoying that special post-coital feeling. Eventually, John reached out and held her hand.

"Thank you," he said, smiling at her pretty little face, which immediately smiled back. He really wanted to know how she felt about sex with a man, or more specifically with him, but now was not the time to ask.

"Thank you," Anna replied, laughing at the banality of their conversation. "Don't you want to know what I think?"

"Of course."

"Well, I will have to tell Zoe that it's over. I'm going straight!"

"Really?" John challenged, half believing her.

"No you numpty! It was really, really good and I loved it, but making love is as much about the feelings you have for the person you are with as it is about the physical thing and I'm afraid Zoe wins."

"So you don't have ANY feelings for me!"

"Oh, no John, I absolutely do! You're the loveliest man I've ever met, seriously!"

"One all!"

Anna took a lesson from Clare, and play-punched him on the shoulder! She lay down on her back. She trusted this man, and she wanted to tell him why she was so fragile.

She told him of her childhood and the terrible events that had left her, and her brother, orphans.

Anna leant over him. She wiped the tears from his cheeks and kissed him gently.

"Special man!" She whispered, and walked to the bathroom, a beautiful sway in her full hips.

They talked a little more after they got up. They exchanged details, promising to stay in touch as friends. The thing was, had their situations been different, there might well have been something between them, they both certainly felt a very special connection, but Anna's love for Zoe was unbreakable.

"I'd better go get Zoe and get home," Anna said.

"You can stay for breakfast," John replied, hopefully.

"I think I want to go home. Sorry John, I'm not good with protracted goodbyes and I also need a little time to get my head around things."

"That's fine. I just want to say you are amazing. If everyone was just a little like you, then the world would be an amazing place! Tell Clare I'll see her downstairs for breakfast at nine!"

"I will, and thanks, John. I meant everything I said and we will see each other soon."

"And you Anna. Take care and love to Zoe!"

Anna knocked on the door opposite. Zoe was already up and dressed and ushered her in, asking if she was OK, although she could tell from her countenance that she was and that it had been a good night. Clare appeared from the bathroom completely naked. Anna immediately noticed two things. Firstly that she had a really nice tanned body and secondly she clearly did not mind showing it off.

"I'm going to have to make a move I'm afraid Clare, but thank you, honey, I've loved being with you!"

Anna felt a sudden pang of jealousy, but Clare was on it.

"You're a very lucky girl to have Zoe," she smiled at Anna. "I hope you've not left John too broken-hearted!"

"Not at all, we're friends!"

"Good, now how about a quick hug before you go, you're just so cute! Excuse my state!"

Anna let Clare embrace her. She smelt and felt amazing. Clare then gave Zoe a long hug and a slightly lingering kiss.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Anna said as Zoe went to open the door, "John said breakfast downstairs at nine. Bye Clare, take care!"

When they arrived home Zoe pounced on Anna and dragged her to the bedroom, each tearing at the other's clothes. In an emotional haze of all those things that make up love, desire, trust, comfort and sharing, Anna and Zoe told each other everything, the complete A to Z, and then demonstrated exactly how much they loved each other.

~~~***~~~

I'm

Michael was often angry, shouting, swearing, refusing to cooperate, and even self-harming. No one could really blame him considering the ordeal he had been through. The rest of the time he was somewhat morose and even morbid, listening to depressing alternative music on the headphones one of the nurses had given him. She was the only one he allowed to touch him, her and a doctor that he trusted. If he saw a man, he flinched and looked away, and everyone could understand why.

Physically he was cured. The bruising had gone down and he was no longer uncomfortable 'down there', but his psychologist could tell that Michael was suffering, and that being in hospital was no good for him, so when his aunt appeared to take him and his sister to her home town, she was very relieved and gave his aunt the details of a good psychiatrist she knew who could carry on with the hard work of bringing him out of his self-imposed prison.

Rape is the most degrading and evil of crimes, and those who force themselves on others are rightly punished harshly when they are caught. If they are caught! Michael, and his sister Anna, shared the pain of such violations, and the thought that these men were free was a dreadful torment to them.

At least they could vent some anger, but to heal themselves they really needed to talk about how it had affected them, and that was so difficult. For Michael it was not really about having his body violated, it was that he felt completely emasculated. Not only had he been unable to defend himself and his sister and mother, but he had also been penetrated and abused. It was these feelings bubbling within him that caused his eruptive mood swings from the slightest trigger. Anna somehow coped better. She could channel her anger at men. But Michael was a man, and that brought about a real internal conflict that he struggled in vain to resolve.

The therapy appeared to be working and, rather pleased, his aunt met with his psychiatrist to let her know that his mood swings, although occasional, had diminished both in number and severity In fact to such an extent that he at least had the countenance of a normal boy. The psychiatrist was pleased, as she liked this vulnerable boy with his long blonde hair, perfect skin and coy smile and had made it her mission to restore him to his former self.

As the sessions continued she began to slowly open more of those doors that Michael had deliberately bolted shut. It was difficult and required subtlety and patience, but she had finally got round to the subject of sex and how 'the incident', as she called it, might have impacted him. She had specialised in sexual psychology at university and it was clear that the events had impacted him deeply. However, she was able to discern that it was not the loss of his parents, but the rape, that was at the heart of the issue.

Michael had grown to rely on his therapist and she had managed to build a huge level of trust in just two months of twice weekly sessions with him, in fact sometimes more. She asked him if he would go to a clinic where they could check his sexual responsiveness, and was pleasantly surprised when he agreed, especially as she had told him it might be difficult. Michael was at a stage where he recognised he had issues and really wanted those daemons ousted.

When she got his results, she smiled, simply because she felt she finally understood and could, at last, give him the last bit of help he needed. His sexual response was generally weak, but what there was seemed to be triggered more by a need to be submissive and giving. The test which relied on images and video, which she knew would be hardest for him and expected him to not complete, had been completed and confirmed that he was attracted to strong figures, even men.

At the next session, she explained his results and was not surprised to find him listening attentively and saying nothing. Finally, she asked him if he had ever fantasised about what it would be like to be a woman. She expected an angry response, but he just looked down at his lap. She pushed him further and asked if he had ever fantasised about sleeping with another boy. He began to cry. The first tears he had shed since that dreadful day. The therapist put her arm around him.

~~~***~~~

"It's often the case that so many conflicting and complex emotions are involved after a trauma like this that the subject is simply not capable of resolving the issue." The therapist said to his aunt, having invited her to discuss what she saw as a major breakthrough. "It is clear that Michael has some latent homosexual feelings, but also a high level of gender dysphoria. If we can help him to recognise this, then I am sure it will set him on the path to recovery as it will relieve his bipolarism, reduce his anxiety towards men and help with his emotional detachment."

His aunt asked her to explain that in plain English, to which she replied. "Michael thinks like a woman and struggles with his masculinity. He was probably coming to terms with it, but the rape just through an already confused mind into a whirlpool of conflict. It was hardly helped by the macho culture in the orphanage and rising transphobia everywhere.

"Is that what he has said?" Michael's aunt interrupted. "That he wants to be a woman?". She paused, unable to comprehend, and began to shake her head in a strange rotating motion. "Oh my! What shall I do?"

The therapist was very direct.

"You, my dear, just need to support him. What I am saying is that allowing him to bring out his feminine side will really help cure him of his moodiness, indecisiveness and inability to focus on anything. I will arrange some more sessions with him to help him explore this side of him and become comfortable with who he is, but I also think we need to see how we can get him out of this country and to his sister. That would be the best thing for him by far, as this is not the most tolerant of societies."

"Oh my, oh my! What a thing." She shook her head again, more in despair and at a loss of what to do, than fear or disgust.

"He is your nephew and you are a good woman. I can understand that it all seems strange, but you have to trust me and Michael. I will support you both, and you will see, he will turn that corner."

It is remarkable what can be achieved when there is deep love and trust. His aunt studied papers that the therapist gave her, and began to see the signs that had been explained to her. Most of all she wanted Michael to be happy, and if this is what it took, then she would make it happen. So it was that they worked together with Michael to allow his inner feelings and desires to gradually surface. Able to say what he wanted, rather than what he thought was required of him, he gradually transitioned, until just three months later, his aunt greeted him outside a beauty salon run by a friend of the therapist.

Even she was taken aback. He looked absolutely beautiful as he walked slowly toward his aunt. His long blond hair was straightened and styled with a fringe. His eyes made up with a subtle, but powerful, look and his nails were painted black. He wore a cream blouse and short polka dot skirt, and his legs, made long and shiny by the tights, glided across the floor in his ankle boots, with not a wobble. But the thing that brought tears to her eyes was the smile on his face, no, the smile on her face, she corrected herself.

"Oh my, oh my, how beautiful you are Michelle!" His aunt cooed as she embraced him. "How lucky I am to have such a special niece!" The onlooking therapist's smile was joyous to behold. The satisfaction of helping this poor boy to finally be who he wanted to be was overwhelming and she even shed a tear too.

It was inevitable that Michelle would begin weeping too. Tears of joy. There are few feelings more powerful than being finally accepted for who you are.

"Thank you, auntie," Michelle said. "I love you! You are so good to me!"

"It is Hariette that you really have to thank, and I have to thank!" Her aunt replied, using the therapist's personal name for the first time as she realised she had become a very special friend to them both.

"Come on, let's go, I have a table booked and we are going to be late!" Michelle, her aunt and Hariette had a lovely girls' dinner at one of the best restaurants in town. Michelle received so many compliments, that her face was smiling all evening.

"It's somehow like that play, Pygmalion." The therapist said as a young man approached their table, simply to give Michelle a red rose, before bowing and returning to his table. Michelle's aunt had to agree and they shared some pride in how they had liberated Michelle from the chains of convention and brought her into this world.

The next few days were busy. The therapist helped arrange the flights and visa for Michelle to get to England. That night Michelle emailed her sister telling her that they would hopefully soon be joining them. She was a bit disappointed not to hear back straight away, but then her email had been long and perhaps a little hard to take in. Anna had been out with her best friend Zoe, putting some of her own demons to rest, and replied the next day. She was so looking forward to meeting her brother, or as he was now, sister, but she could not completely erase a slight amount of trepidation.

~~~***~~~

Anna had to wait a long time before Michael finally appeared through customs, having been quizzed mechanically and unsympathetically for forty minutes by border control. He had been warned that his welcome would not involve any red carpet and would be as dour and humourless as his inquisitors. He broke into a huge smile when he saw Anna. She looked amazing and he could tell at once that life was being very kind to her, and that filled him with hope.

Anna saw a very different boy from the one she had left behind. He seemed far more confident but was much more effeminate. His hair was no longer a tangled mess, but fully brushed and shiny. She could sense a hint of makeup around his eyes and perhaps even lipstick. He was wearing grey jogging pants and a v-neck black t-shirt with a pair of converse shoes, clothing that was completely sexless. He let go of his case and embraced Anna. They were both quite overcome at being reunited and the melee of people swirling around them in the arrival lounge simply disappeared into a fog as they embraced.