An Affair of the Heart

Once I was by myself, I texted Sara. "Derek wants to come to dinner with us tomorrow night. I don't know how to tell him that he can't come. Any ideas???"

There was a long wait for a return text and I pictured her contemplating a response. Then my phone chimed. "So let him come. I'd love to meet him anyway. We'll have fun."

So it was settled. The three of us were going out, and there was nothing I could do about it. It was a nerve wracking thought for sure, but I would have to let the chips fall where they may. My biggest worry was that Sara would use the opportunity to tell Derek about our fling. I didn't think she would do that to me, but how could I be certain what was going on in her mind.

So Thursday evening came and Derek and I dressed nice but casual, as if we were going out on a date, then headed over to Sara's house. Derek drove, while I directed him and texted Sara when we were close. I wanted to make sure that she was ready so we didn't have to go in the house when we arrived. The last thing I wanted was for Derek to meet Sara's aunt, if she was home.

It turned out that I had nothing to worry about because Debbie wasn't home, and Sara came out the door when we drove in the driveway anyway. Ever the gentleman, Derek jumped out and jogged around to the passengers side to meet Sara and open the car door for her. I stepped out also to introduce them, but before I could, Sara came over and gave me a friendly hug and a hidden from Derek kiss on the cheek. We pulled apart and Derek and Sara shook hands when I introduced them.

"It's nice to finally meet you." Sara said with a smile.

"And you as well." Derek said. Then added "Jess has told me so much about you, but she failed to tell me how pretty you are."

Sara touched my arm and said "Oh hon, I like him already."

Derek opened the rear door for Sara and she climbed in. My door was still open so I sat back down. Derek closed both doors then jogged around to the drivers side and soon we were driving down the road.

"So, where to?" Derek asked.

"I thought we could go to Graziano's, over on Main Street. If that sounds okay to everyone." Graziano's was my husband's favorite restaurant.

From behind me Sara said "Oh I love that place. They've got the best veal cordon bleu I've ever tasted."

"It's settled then. Graziano's it is." Derek said, and we were on our way. The drive over was filled with small talk, not easy with Sara sitting behind me, but it passed the time and before we knew it, we were pulling into the parking lot.

The restaurant was less than half full, so we managed to be seated at a quiet table out back, and placed our orders with a cute waiter named Marcel who didn't write anything down, insisting that he had an excellent memory.

After he left, I said that I needed to use the restroom, and Sara agreed that she did also, so we both got up and left Derek alone. Since the restaurant was quite large, the restrooms were fairly big, with four toilets and sinks in the ladies room.

As we entered, Sara asked "So what did you need to tell me?"

"I wanted to tell you that I've decided to tell Derek everything. I can't lie to him Sara, I just can't do it."

A stall door opened and a young teenage girl walked out and to the sink to wash. Another stall was occupied by an unseen woman, and I felt ashamed talking about personal stuff in the presence of strangers, but I felt like I had no choice.

Sara nodded and said "What do you think he'll do?"

"I hope he'll understand, but I don't know."

I could see the conflict in her eyes, as she held her emotions back, and I tried to imagine what she must be thinking. When the young girl finished washing her hands and left, the toilet in the occupied stall flushed and a middle aged woman stepped out and up to the sink.

"So what's going to happen with us?" Sara asked in an quiet voice.

I waited until the other woman left, then turned to Sara and kissed her tenderly on the lips. "I want to keep seeing you." I assured her, "But I'm afraid it will all depend on how Derek reacts when I tell him."

Sara nodded again, much more solemnly this time and asked "So, what if he forbids you from seeing me?"

I took a deep breath and said "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, but I don't think I can go without seeing you."

"Okay...So when are you going to tell him? Tonight?"

The door opened and two women walked in laughing about something.

"Not here." I said "I'll tell him later tonight at home."

"You'll let me know how he takes it then?"

"Of course."

"Good."

We washed our hands and headed back into the restaurant to our table. Derek stood up and held our chairs out for us, first Sara's then mine, before sitting back in his chair.

"Wow Jess, do you get treated like this all the time?" Sara asked me.

"Most of the time," I admitted, "Derek's mother taught him to be a gentleman."

"Oh let's not talk about my mother." Derek interjected.

"Well I think it's sweet." Sara insisted.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, then Derek broke the tension. "So Sara, Jess tells me that you're a waitress at a club?"

"Yeah, I work part time for my aunt Debbie, who owns the place, and I owe her so much, my life really. If it wasn't for her, I'd probably be some homeless crack addict, sleeping with my supplier so I could get my next fix."

"Wow!" Derek exclaimed. "Your aunt means a lot to you then."

"She does. I doubt that I can ever repay her for what she did for me. I've been taking business classes over at the college, and Debbie pays for that. She says that she is going to make me a partner one day at the club.

"It sounds like you have a decent plan for your life already." Derek said, then added "Which brings me to another question that I have for you, and I hope that I'm not being too forward, but, you're obviously much younger than my beautiful wife, so I'm curious, what is it about Jess that makes you want to hang around with her?"

"Hey! I'm not that old you know." I objected. I didn't like where Derek's line of questioning was headed and wanted to cut it off before things got too deep.

Sara laughed at my scolding Derek, then said "You're not at all being too forward with that question Derek, I totally understand your concern. You're wondering why I'm not hanging out with people my own age, and I can honestly tell you that I didn't expect Jess and I to become such good friends, it just sort of happened." She looked at me with those sexy eyes and I felt as though I was melting as she continued to explain herself to Derek. "I really can't explain to you why we get along so well together, maybe it's because I grew up with my aunt, who is about the same age as Jess, so I just feel...comfortable with her, I guess."

I pried my eyes away from Sara to look at Derek, and I saw a glimmer of something in his face that sent a chill up my spine. He looked at me as if he knew something. I know that sounds crazy, like the paranoid, delusional thoughts of a cheating spouse, but I know Derek better than anybody else, and he seemed suspicious to me.

"Comfortable huh?" Derek said, still staring at me. Then he turned back toward Sara and asked "So what does your aunt think of you hanging out with an older married woman?"

Sara shrugged and said "Oh Debbie is really cool about stuff. She knows I'm not a kid anymore, so she lets me do what I want. She might offer some motherly advice now and again, but she doesn't try to stop me. Besides, I think that if she got the chance to really sit down with Jess, she would fall in love with her too... I mean that she would really like her too." A freudian slip of the tongue from Sara and I saw another knowing look in Derek's face.

Just when I thought that things couldn't get much worse, the waiter came back with our food, and to my delight, he proved that his memory was superb by getting everything perfect. Now that the food was at the table, the talk was focused on how good the food was and how hungry we all were. I kept catching Derek taking peeks at Sara while she ate, then he would look at me and smirk before going back to his meal. It was unnerving to say the least, but somehow I made it through the meal without having a nervous breakdown right there in the middle of the restaurant.

As we were finishing up our meals, our waiter Marcel came back and asked if we would be having dessert. I was ready to get out of there by that point, but Derek and Sara both asked to see the dessert menu, so I agreed and we all ordered again. Then Derek started in again.

"I find it difficult to believe that someone as pretty as you is still single Sara. So what gives, you haven't found the right one, or, are you playing the field?"

"Not that it's any of your business." I pointed out, wondering where this was all leading to.

"Oh it's perfectly fine Jess, he's just making conversation." Sara defended him.

"That's right, I'm just making conversation." Derek agreed.

"Well first of all," Sara began, "thank you for calling me pretty again. I'm very flattered. As far as whether I'm taken or single, well..." I glanced up from my drink and saw Sara looking at me again "...I'm keeping my options open right now. I guess you can say that I'm waiting for the...'the one'."

Derek didn't stop there. "And would 'the one' be a he, or a she?"

"Derek, I don't think..." I began, intending on telling him that his line of questioning was getting way too personal, but Sara cut me off.

"It's okay Jess." She said, placing her hand on mine. Then to Derek "Jessica must have told you that I was a lesbian I suppose?"

"She did inform me of that, yes."

I was surprised that he remembered that I had told him that.

"So naturally, one would assume that I'm always looking for a beautiful woman."

"Naturally." Derek replied.

At that point I just sat back in my chair and let them continue their conversation. It was obvious to me that Derek knew more than he was letting on, but just how much I wasn't sure.

"And that would be a correct assumption. I do prefer women over men, that doesn't mean that I am exclusive to women either."

I had never heard Sara talk like this before.

"So does that mean you're bisexual and not lesbian?"

"Well, I don't really like labels, but I do find some men attractive."

"Really? Soooo what about me? Do you find me attractive?"

There was a pause as our waiter carried over our desserts, and I was studying Derek's face the whole time. I couldn't read him and that worried me. He seemed like he was in a good mood, but I knew there was something going on with him, just by the way he was questioning Sara.

When Marcel left the table, Sara continued the conversation. "I hope that I don't make Jess jealous by saying this, but I do find you very attractive Derek. Not just your looks, but your gentleman's manners, and your quiet confidence. I think that Jessica is a very lucky woman to have you."

"You're not just saying that because you feel bad about fucking my wife are you?"

"Derek!" I scolded, a little too loud.

Sara glanced at me with a worried look, but she didn't try to deny it.

"Anyone want to try to convince me I'm wrong?"

I finally found my voice. "Why would you think that Derek?" I asked.

Derek took a big bite of his coconut creme pie, never taking his eyes off me while he chewed it. I could feel my cheeks burning while I tried to act like I was shocked at Derek's accusations. He swallowed his bite, a grin formed on his lips, then said "Phone sex Jess. If you're trying to hide a secret affair, you really should delete your phone sex sessions from your cell phone. Although I found Sara's pictures quite, stimulating."

As the words came spilling out of his mouth, I felt the blood draining from my head, and I actually felt light headed for a moment. I hadn't deleted my chats with Sara because I was sure that Derek would never look into my phone. He never had before, so I had no reason to believe that he would start.

"You...you went...through my phone...Why?" I stuttered. I looked at Sara and could see the guilt written all over her face.

"You know, I honestly felt really bad when I found those texts, even though they were so...erotic. I felt like I had just read a secret diary or something, and I felt guilty. I mean, can you even imagine that I would feel guilty about finding out my wife has been cheating on me...with a woman."

"Derek, I'm..." I began, I could see my whole life changing for the worse. Even though I had planned on telling him, the fact that he found out before I had the chance to tell him was so much worse. Would he ever believe that I was going to tell him?

"Sorry?" Derek finished. "Tell me Jess, did you tell Sara about how every time you came home after going out with her, you wanted to fuck me, or suck me? I'm not gonna lie, I loved it, but I thought it was strange, and then, this last time, you swallowed my cum. Holy shit it was hot, and I fucking loved it, but afterward, I was like, what the hell just happened? So I started thinking about everything, and then I remembered our first conversation about Sara, when I thought that you were talking about a guy. When you finally let on that the person you met was a woman, you told me she was a lesbian.

"Of course I never expected you to cheat on me with a man or a woman Jess, so I didn't think much of it. I let you go out with Sara again and again, and every time you came home, you was so horny. And every time after we had sex, I would wonder what the two of you did together, and why you came home so horny. I also noticed how much your face lit up every time you talked about Sara. I didn't want to go through your phone, and I didn't think I would find anything when I did, so imagine my surprise when I found what did."

"The night that you had a headache, a migraine you claimed, when Dr. Convoy called your cell phone to ask if you were feeling better. You were taking a shower, so I answered your phone, and he told me that you had left early because you felt sick. Well, I was really curious then, and I almost checked your messages after I hung up, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Then all week long you acted so strange. You was there, but your head was somewhere else. Something just seemed strange. I held off as long as I could before I went through your phone, and I was shocked by what I saw and read. So, what do you two have to say for yourselves?"

Somehow, Derek had managed to eat most of his pie while he was talking, while both Sara and I hadn't touched ours. I didn't even see our waiter come back to the table until he started talking. "Is there something wrong with your desserts?" He asked.

Derek smiled at him and said "No, I think their eyes are bigger than their stomachs. Can we get those to go please."

Meanwhile, Sara and I just sat there looking down at the table.

"Absolutely." Marcel said "I'll be right back."

"So ladies, what have you got to say for yourselves?" He repeated.

It was Sara who answered him. "It's my fault Derek. Don't blame Jess. I knew she was married and I still went after her. I was the one who pursued her. She even tried to stop me but I..."

"Sara stop." I interrupted. I looked at Derek and slowly shook my head. "I love you Derek. I've always loved you...but I also have feelings for Sara."

"Do you love her?" Derek asked as Marcel came back with cardboard boxes for me and Sara.

"I...I think so..." I said it out loud, and it felt right, even though I was breaking Derek's heart.

"So now what? Are you leaving me for her? Do you want a divorce?"

"NO!" I shouted as the tears came flowing now. They had been threatening for a while and now they were running down my face in a torrent. "I told Sara earlier that I was going to tell you tonight when we went home. I couldn't keep lying to you because I love you too much, but I don't want to lose you."

"Mmm, so what if I gave you an ultimatum, and told you that if you want to keep me, you will stop seeing Sara completely? Absolutely no contact whatsoever. What would your answer be then?"

I glanced at Sara and saw her crying also, and I felt so bad. I had always known that I may have to face this choice, and I always knew that I couldn't possibly throw away 10 years and a marriage. "Please don't make me choose Derek." I whined.

"You're willing to throw away ten years for her?" Somehow Derek was keeping his emotions in check.

"I...I don't know. I just..." I was a wreck is what I was. At that point I wanted to crawl in a hole and curl up into a ball. I felt so ashamed. "I don't want to lose you Derek." I managed to say.

"So you're picking me then?" Derek said. "But how on earth could I believe you? You've been lying to me, so how can I be sure that you're not sneaking around behind my back? Leaving work early to go get some on the side?"

I wanted to leave, to get out of that restaurant where I felt like I was being watched by everyone in there. In reality, there was no one around us, and no one was paying any attention to what was going on at our table because, even though Sara and I were both balling, we were being quiet about it. But I just wanted to go home. "Please Derek, can we just go home."

There was a long pause as Derek just sat there staring at us both, then said "Okay, let's go home then." He stood up, grabbed the bill, and headed toward the cashier, leaving Sara and I alone.

"I'm so sorry." Sara whispered to me.

"So am I." I agreed.

As we headed toward the front door together, Derek joined us and Sara said "I should call a cab."

"No, you're coming with us Sara. We have to figure this mess out once and for all. We can discuss it in the car."

So we went to the car, and Derek still opened the doors for both of us. When we were all in the car, Derek turned to look at both of us and said "Okay, I'm going to make you two a proposition. This is something that you both must agree on if you want to still be able to see each other. I want you to both come back home...and let me watch you two."

There was silence in the car as we let his words sink in. What he was saying was that he wanted to watch us making love. "Derek, you can't expect us to do..." I began.

"I'll do it." Sara cut me off. "I want to do it."

I looked over my seat at Sara. "Sara, you don't have to do that." I said.

"I'll do whatever it takes if that means that I can still see you." She said "I don't want to lose you like this, as long as Derek promises to let us still be together."

"With all the action I've been getting after you two see each other, I'd be crazy to put an end to your thing. Derek looked at me "So, what's it gonna be Jess?"

"Why are you doing this to us?" I asked. "Is this some kind of twisted fantasy of yours, to watch two women fuck?"

"Maybe. Perhaps I'm thinking that if I'm going to let you two continue your fling, I should be able to get something more out of it. Being a voyeur every once in a while seems only fair. Or maybe I want to see what is so great that you would be willing to throw away a good marriage."

"Derek, I never wanted to hurt you." I wailed.

Derek started the car and said "So, what's it gonna be Jess. Should I bring Sara to her home, or to ours?"

"Let's go home." I answered, trying to wrap my head around what was going to happen.

Chapter 14 - At Home Together

The drive home was one of contemplation. I was struggling the whole ride home with everything that had happened.

When we arrived at home, Derek continued with the gentleman act, opening doors for us all the way into the house. "So tell me, have you two used our bed at all?" He asked once we were inside.

"This is the first time Sara has been here." I told him. "And if it makes any difference at all, we only made love one time. We played on the phone together a few times, but that's all."