And What a Time It Was

"So strange, she was always... well, normal." I mumbled, still trying to make sense of the sweet girl, helping our parents prepare the big meal and the person Suzy was describing, the person I had seen at the party.

"Something flipped her switch. She went a bit odd after her birthday." Suzy added as we turned around and began to walk back, slowly and with some trepidation, "She went radio silent for a week or so. Then... dunno, she was just a bit remote. Hard to explain, she was there, but almost as if she was on autopilot." She looked at me and we just stood and stared at each other for a while until Suzy shrugged and we walked on.

We got back and Kate had coffee waiting, as well as some cakes and gingerbread biscuits. "It's fine guys, I didn't make them, they are from a shop." She skipped back to the kitchen to join her new parents as Suzy and I sat, slightly bewildered and filled our faces, clutching the mugs with our cold hands.

The dinner was good. We unfolded the big dining room table and set the places, then the piles of food arrived, trays of steaming and roasted vegetables, a separate tray with veggie items, more than I could eat, more than all of us could. I looked at mum.

"I didn't know what to get you." she laughed, despite this being the third year of this, "So I just went crazy in the veggie freezer section of the supermarket."

There were veggie sausages and sausage rolls, "meat free" cutlets and even vegetarian non-meatballs. I would be snacking on these all week. I loaded up with vegetables and some of the special items and Kate peered at my plate.

"What's in the sausages?" she said, glancing up, the cute sparkle in her dark eyes.

"No idea." I replied and tried to wave her face away from my plate.

"Why eat them if you don't know what's in them?" She said, her lips pursed, eyes flicking up and down from me to my food.

"You know what's in a meat sausage?"

"Good point, well made." she laughed and she sat up and grabbed her fork and speared one of my sausages and stared at it, twisting the fork around before opening her mouth and biting into it, half going in one bite. She looked at me and chewed, then gave me a closed lip smile and put the other half back on my plate, teeth marks and all. "Not bad." she said and grinned some more. It was impossible to hate her, it was very easy to love her.

I stabbed the remnant of the sausage with my fork and bit into the end she had eaten from and chewed as I stared at her, her smile cute and warm. "Tastes odd." I said and she gave me a little swat on the arm and turned away, pouting in jest.

"Children!" Mum said as Suzy laughed.

"God, sibling are so embarrassing." my real sister chuckled as Kate and I continued to squabble, her picking at my food from my plate and insisting on trying everything, leaving most of it with her teeth marks in.

Suzy and I tidied up, Kate wanting to help, but we shooed her away as she had spent most of the day helping already.

"I almost hate watching you two." she whispered. "You look so good together, it breaks my heart." I gave her a quick hug and we checked no one else was near. We put the kettle on to mask any talk and continued to clean plates and put the leftovers into tubs.

"It's odd. She's just the same, but..." I remembered the party, her turning away slowly and closing me out as another man was about to take her away, the hurt flushed through me. "I keep reminding myself that she isn't like this all the time. It's almost as if the real Kate is temporary now." I added and we hugged again.

"I love her, but... Well, I think it's impossible to hate her." Suzy added.

"Yes and very easy to love her." I blurted out quietly and felt the tears well.

"Try not to." Suzy said as she rubbed my back. "I know it's too late, several years too late, but try."

We made drinks, some hot fruit drink and Suzy cobbled together some mulled wine and we placed them on a tray and returned to the living room to find the parents already dozing as they watched TV and Kate slumped against dad, eyes flickering to stay open as the drinks were placed on the table.

"Ooooh." she mumbled and struggled to sit up and I passed her the one she had waved her finger at. Our hands touched around the hot mug and my body became alive for an instant and her eyes flashed bright into mine. Impossible to hate, easy to love.

Our parents went off to bed as Suzy and I snuggled to watch a film on TV. We'd seen it before, but didn't care. Kate was dozing at the end of the sofa next to me. Our laughing woke her up and her bleary eyes stared at me.

"Huh?" Kate mumbled and then she turned to look at the screen. "Huh?" she repeated and then moved over and fell against my side and nudged her head between my arm and body and I raised up and she fell into me and my arm settled down on her shoulder. Suzy looked across, then up to me and shook her head, then nudged it to me and I laughed as both sisters were cuddled to me.

A gentle snoring woke me. I wasn't sure if it was me or one of the girls. The film had long finished, another one was almost over. I sat up and tried to lift my arms and not wake anyone, but Suzy stirred first and lifted her head and smiled. She wobbled to her feet and I tried to follow, but Kate was still on me and showed no signs of waking.

"Hey, Kate, come on, time for bed." I whispered and she suddenly jumped, wide eyed and staring. Suzy reached out and placed a hand on her arm and she jumped back again and her eyes went to my sister and the panic faded away. Kate looked back to me and shivered, then smiled nervously.

"Sorry, I think I was somewhere else." Suzy and I looked at each other, then back to Kate, who still wasn't fully here.

"Bed time." Suzy said quietly and Kate wobbled as she stood up. Suzy looked back at me as she guided her away and shook her head. Wherever Kate had been in her mind, it wasn't good. I turned everything off and went to bed, my mind still reeling from Kate's reaction.

We slept in on Christmas morning. By we, I mean the 'siblings'. I stumbled down, woken by the sound along the corridor as Kate and Suzy laughed in their room. The coffee was in the pot, but I reached for the Moka pot as I wanted something with a bit more bite. The fridge was full of leftovers and much, much more, but I settled for toast and it popped up just as Suzy came in, yawning and giggling at the same time.

"Where's our new sister?" I said as Suzy poured coffee and rummaged for food.

"Making herself presentable. She has a lot of work to do." she giggled.

"Meow!" I chuckled.

Suzy sidled up and whispered, "She didn't say anything about last night, but, she was terrified. Something is really wrong." I nodded and looked around.

"I realise she's in a strange place, but she knows us. She looked really scared and was just staring at me. I don't think she recognised me." I added. We heard footsteps and acted casual as the door swung open and a loud yawn rattled around the kitchen.

We all sat around the table and finished breakfast and I offered to wash up, then everyone gathered in the living room for the presents. Last evening I had realised I had nothing for Kate, not knowing she was here, so I found some card and drew a little Robin on it and coloured it in, rather badly. Most of the gifts were the usual, socks, clothing that kind of thing, the family always being somewhat practical. Kate sat quietly, watching, smiling at the family life unfolding. Suzy had bought her a hoodie and she excitedly donned it and then tucked her knees up under it as she sat next to my legs. I apologised to her and handed over the card and she looked up at me and I saw her eyes watering. She kissed the drawing and then threw her arms around me.

"So lovely." she mumbled and wiped her eyes. She moved away to get her bag and produced a small selection of gifts, chocolates and drink for the parents and books for Suzy and myself. She also handed over a CD, blushing as she did so. "It's a silly mix tape kind of thing." she couldn't even look me in the eyes now and Suzy salvaged the scene by proposing more coffee.

We had lunch and all of us went for a walk, heading to the river, the group splitting into young and old and Suzy threaded her arm through mine and Kate pouted, then scooted the other side of me and did the same.

The rest of the holiday period was similar, Kate blending into the family easily and Suzy and I constantly questioning what was happening, but loved have the old her back. Too soon I had to leave, going 'home' to my little place on the other side of town. Suzy would message me daily before, she too, left, along with Kate to head back to university and the routine started again.

Changes at work and lockdown meant I could work from home all the time and my small flat was proving to be a bit claustrophobic. I had a few day trips for holidays and had a crazy idea on moving out of London, I could get more room for my money and settled on a seaside town and ended up with a two bedroom flat just ten minutes from the beach. The parents were none too pleased, but Suzy was "I can visit at the holidays!" she messaged. I got a work friend to help me move and he stayed the weekend, enjoying the sea air. It was Charlie, who still stayed in touch with Suzy and always asked after her. They had struck up a friendship and he didn't seem bothered there was no hint of romance, they just got on well. Greg had never mentioned Kate again, but Charlie knew about her, even at my office, the reputation had spread.

Suzy would message and call a lot. She was happy at Uni, but Kate had gone off the rails again, going off with someone even during a shopping trip with Suzy, the friendship was straining, even if the love remained.

Lockdown eased for the summer and Suzy made plans to visit, but a few days before the phone rang.

Chapter 3

"Hey Suze. How's it going. Got your swimming costume packed?" There was a silence, but I could hear her breathing, I could almost hear her mind whirring.

"She wants to come." she spat out and I knew who she meant. "Fucking bitch." she added, with more venom.

"Ok calm down. What did she say?"

There was a deep breath. "I told her I was going to see you and her eyes lit up and, suddenly, she was gushing how she misses you SOOOO much." another deep breath. "So then she just says, 'He'll be fine with me there.' like it's a done deal. Didn't ask me to ask you." Another deep breath. "So... I might just run away." she laughed at the end.

"Ok, she can come, but if she gets shitty, I will kick her out. Tell her that."

"You actually want her to come?"

"I didn't say that." I said, my mind now spinning too.

"It's fine for you, I'll have to share the room with her."

"Maybe she'll get off with someone and we won't see her." I chuckled.

"Nice thought, but she never lasts more than one night, if that. I've not known her come back in the morning doing a walk of shame. It's always a fuck and run, with the emphasis on the latter." Suzy added.

"Well, we'll see how it goes, but I reserve the right to kick her out." I said, firmly, "And the same goes for you." I added and she laughed.

"Yeah, because I am always bringing guys back." she chuckled and I suddenly realised I had never seen my sister with a man.

We chatted about boring stuff after that and made plans for where and when to meet.

"We're on the train" was the message. I was already at the station, having taken a stroll through the town on the summer morning, the cool of the sea air being washed from the streets by the sun as it rose higher. I was nervous. I hadn't had guests since I moved in, apart from Charlie staying over when he helped me move down. Also, Kate. I wondered which one would turn up, but somehow knew her smile would floor any plans I had on being aloof with her.

The station was busy, the good weather encouraging people to head to the coast. I saw Kate first, my eyes drawn to her, the ponytail bobbing in the crowd. She had a big smile and was leading Suzy, almost dragging her towards the ticket gates. She was also the first one to wrap her arms around me, Suzy glaring into the back of her head as she squeezed me, a loud "Hey big bruv!" in my ears.

"Hey actual bruv." said Suzy a short while later and Kate poked her tongue out behind her back as I hugged my sister.

The girls settled in, rummaging around the flat to check it out. It was small for three of us, but they had planned to go out most days as I worked and it was only for a week, at the most. Kate offered to cook on the first night and I should have heeded Suzy's warning again as she managed to make a mess of pasta and pesto, even with the latter coming from a jar.

The next day we went to the beach, the weather being pretty good. The beach was mostly pebbles, unless the tide was low, so it's none too comfortable. I had no intention of going in the water, but wore shorts anyway and the girls had t-shirts over their bikinis and shorts for walking around before and after. Kate was first to get ready, which was no surprise and she taunted me for not taking off my t-shirt, but I waved her away and she dragged Suzy towards the water as I watched.

"Don't you want to get a tan?" Kate asked as she rested on her towel, soaking up the heat to dry her as she tugged at my t-shirt again.

I was trying not to look at her too much, it was the first time of seeing her body since we had both been kids. Her breasts were a good size and I had a flashback to Greg's remarks about wanting a chance to grope them. The bikini wasn't small, bigger than Suzy's, wide waistband and coming just down the top of her thighs like short shorts and Kate would often cover her chest with an arm when moving around even though the top half was covering a lot too. My shades were helping disguise where my eyes were drifting, but she didn't seem to make any attempt to cover herself in front of me.

"I am fine." I repeated as she laughed and tried to get me topless and Suzy just tutted and wagged her finger at her friend. "I don't have the body for showing." and Kate pouted at me.

"What do you mean? You look good to me." I saw Suzy glance across and that look went over her face.

"No. I am too skinny. If I had a body like that guy I would strip." I said, nodding towards a muscular guy, tanned and showing off proudly, as he walked along the beach. Kate looked over and nodded.

"Oh la la." she giggled and another piece of my heart cracked.

The rest of the week was similar, except I would work until mid-afternoon and then go to see them as they relaxed on the beach. Some days they went for a walk and I tried to get more free time by working in the evenings and the three of us would head out for a long walk, or to rest on the beach. Most walks would see one, or both of them linking their arm around mine as we strolled along. I took them to some of the tourist spots and we made the cafe near the flat a regular haunt.

Suzy made plans to head back home, but Kate started to panic. "I have nowhere to go." she said when Suzy announced it. Suddenly I felt a wave of fear. "Can I stay here for longer?" she said quietly, looking at me, her dark eyes imploring.

"Well." I stumbled, trying to look at Kate, but seeing Suzy glaring at me in the corner of my eye. "I need to work. But... If you behave, it should be ok for a little while."

Kate's face lit up and she bounded over to hug me and I saw Suzy shake her head.

We walked to the station with Suzy and waved her goodbye, then headed to a cafe. Kate was quiet, nerves showing, but I had no idea why. We walked, but there was not much talking and then she seemed even worse when we were back at the flat.

"I'll cook tonight." I said and she smiled nervously. I made pasta with some cheese sauce and vegetables and she ate quietly. I suggested a walk afterwards and she relaxed as we wandered down the beach, the tide now low and the sand wet and soft as we took our shoes off. Back in the flat, we sat and watched TV, Kate sitting on the far end of the sofa, almost wanting to be as far away as she could. This wasn't going to be a fun stay.

Kate was perkier the next morning, visibly relaxed as she sat with me for breakfast. We went for a walk later and she was chatty but nothing personal was mentioned. She had closed that part of herself to me.

"Do you like Indian food?" I asked the next night. Kate looked at me as if I had murdered her kitten. "There is a nice place in town." I said, trying to smile and not look crazy. She smiled back and nodded.

"Is it just veggie?" she said.

"No, does lots of stuff." I smiled again, but then thought it might be making matters worse. She nodded again and we prepared to go out, me worrying why the hell I was bothering.

The restaurant looked a bit shabby, but that was mainly due to the sea air and wind. Inside it was comfortable and the staff friendly. Kate looked bemused by most of the menu "There's more than just curry." she mumbled and the waiter talked her through some of the dishes until she chose one and we sat and actually chatted as we waited.

"Do you like it down here?" she asked, staring out the window to the sea.

"It's ok. It's a lot cheaper than London and I like the sea."

"You don't even take your shirt off!" she laughed.

"I didn't say I liked going into it. I like looking at it, it is always changing. It's good for photography and just staring at. There's places to cycle and there are even gigs and art galleries. It has everything I need." She looked at me and smiled. A real smile now.

The food arrived and we shared, Kate had actually ordered a vegetarian dish as well. I paid, despite her protesting and then walked along the beach again, the long summer evenings casting a glow over the wet sand.

"Are you ok with me staying?" Kate asked quietly, casting a nervous glance to the side at me.

"Yes. As long as you behave." I said and she laughed.

"That may be tricky." she mumbled and looked away, across the ocean. "Sometimes..." her voice trailed off and she sighed. "I lose control." she said softly.

"Why?" We walked slowly, close together, just us on the beach it seemed.

"I have no idea. I just like that attention." she said and I saw her blush as I glanced across. "I need it." she mumbled and I shook my head. She sounded small and scared and I wanted to hold her, but knew better.

We sat on the sofa, Kate closer to me now. She had thanked me many times for the meal and said she would repay me one day. She didn't know how, but she would, she was adamant.

After a few sunny days the clouds came and it was a good excuse to really get stuck into work. Kate would sit quietly, reading or browsing on her laptop, despite my suggestions that she should go outside and enjoy the fresh air. She relented, liking my idea of getting coffee in the cafe near the beach. I said I might join her later and she skipped out the door, looking happier than I had seen her since Suzy left.

I finished some emails and decided I needed a break and headed out. The cafe had a long window that looked out to the sea and I could see Kate sitting at a table as I walked along. I could also see a man with her. I froze, my heart gripped tight as I fought to breathe. He stood up and she smiled and then did the same and they headed out. I got my feet to move and headed for the door, but it was closing, they were up the street next to it, him holding some keys as he led her to a car. They got in as I stood, rooted to the spot, wanting the earth to open under me as a tsunami of emotions crashed over me. She was smiling at him as she closed the car door, the engine already running and within seconds he had driven her away.

The sun was going down when the door opened slowly, Kate trying to remain quiet, but there was nowhere to hide as I waited on the sofa.