And What a Time It Was

"Hey." she mumbled and edged along the wall. "I am going to take a shower." she said and that was it.

I didn't eat. I felt sick. I had paced the flat and then the streets waiting for her before I settled down on the sofa, constantly looking at my phone for messages that didn't come. She walked back, having changed into her hoodie and loose walking trousers and curled up on a chair, not looking at me.

"Where did you go?" I said, trying to be calm.

"I met someone. We went for a drive." she said, looking at the ceiling.

"And?"

There was a silence big enough to drive a herd of elephants through. Almost big enough to destroy love.

Kate looked at me and shrugged, trying to smile, her eyes dead. She took a deep breath. "I told you, I need it." she mumbled, eyes fixed on me, lifeless and dark.

"As long as you behave, I said." looking for an emotion.

"I didn't bring him back here." she said flatly.

"You just went off with a stranger. No word, nothing. That's not behaving. That's not being a friend." I said, trying to be as flat, but my voice was yearning to rise up at her.

"I'll leave as soon as I can." her eyes totally dead as they stared.

I didn't want her to leave. I wanted her to say sorry, or just be Kate, the old Kate, but this was the new version and she as proving hard to even like at times.

I called Suzy later, when Kate had gone to bed. I sat on my bed, head spinning as we chatted, me explaining what happened.

"She's just fucking weird." she said of her best friend. "I am so sorry, I know you like her, but this is awful. She takes advantage of you. Honestly, I thought she'd be ok with you, even..." she stopped, as if she was about to say too much.

"Even?"

"You know that card? From Christmas." it was just a silly thing I gave Kate as I had no present for her. "She carries it with her. I mean, all the time. I saw it in her bag when I was down there. It wouldn't surprise me if she didn't get a tattoo of it. She fucking cherishes that." She sounded as confused as I was by Kate. "I did actually wonder if you two would... you know..."

"No chance. She was quite remote until a few nights ago. She told me she needs the attention from men, that's why she does it. Then today, I watched her go away with him. She could have ended up dumped somewhere...." I had to stop, my mind and emotions were running away and I wanted to throw up.

"Best stay away." Suzy said quietly and I had to agree with her.

The next morning there was coffee ready in the kitchen, but no sign of Kate. I started up the laptop and the door opened as she breezed in, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, hair flowing free.

"Hey, I got pastries." she beamed and I just stared at her. She waved the bag and walked over and gave me a little hug, then headed to the kitchen and I heard the clatter of plates. She walked back with a pile of croissants and assorted breakfast pastries. "There you go." she said, smiling at me as I just stared. Her smile faded. "What's up?" she said quietly as her eyes dulled.

I didn't know where to start, so I didn't and she slumped down in a chair at the table as I tapped away at the laptop.

"I fucked up." she mumbled. "But I needed it." she sighed. "He started talking to me and... I couldn't stop."

I looked at her, her eyes downcast and a small tear dripped down. "I'll pack." she muttered and went to her room and I started to shake with rage and anguish. She was impossible to hate and I loved her.

"You don't have to leave." I said, my voice cracking as she stood, throwing her clothes into her bag. "Unless you have somewhere safe to go." She turned slowly.

"I don't have anywhere to go, let alone somewhere safe." she said, not looking at me, her eyes full of water that was leaking down her cheeks.

"Then stay until you do." I muttered, "But... behave, please." I felt like her father, telling her off like this, but I was struggling now. She nodded and I heard the drip on the floor as her head moved.

"I will try, really." she mumbled the there was the quietest "Sorry." ever and I turned and walked away, more drips on the floor following me.

We didn't talk much that day, but the next morning the coffee was waiting, as was a plate of pastries. As was Kate, at the table.

"Hey. I got breakfast. Sorry I can't cook, but..." she waved at the food and I could only smile at her and she smiled back, the warmth filling my cold heart.

The weather improved and we sat by the beach eating ice creams and watching people as the Swifts screamed above and I looked up and waved and Kate looked up, then to me. "Are you waving at the birds?" she said, sounding quite concerned for my welfare.

"Yes. Swifts. They live on the wing, only coming down to nest. When the young fly they will do so for three years, non stop. Imagine that, just imagine. They sleep, eat and mate in the air, it is their domain. They will leave and take summer with them, heading south, never touching the ground." I said, as I stared at the scything birds above and I saw Kate tilt her head back and then she waved.

A concrete path went along the edge of the beach and we sat on the ledge near where another path sloped down to it, giving us a good view as the people walked along. Kate was sitting on a small ledge, sideways on to me, her eyes scanning everyone and I suddenly got worried. Her eyes went wide.

"She was checking you out." she said, leaning closer to me and nodding her head towards a woman who I could only see the back of now.

"Yeah, right." I mumbled and stared at the sea as it began to recede.

"She was. Plus, she was fucking cute. Go get her."

"Do I look like the go getting type?" I muttered and accidentally took too big a bite out of the ice lolly.

"Then I'll go get her." she grinned and she slipped off the ledge and her feet slapped onto the concrete below and then her footwear made the sound they were named for as she ran after a woman in orange shorts and a green top. She tapped her on the shoulder and laughed and I saw her point in my direction. I tried to look away, but I was the only one there, so had nowhere to hide. The woman looked cute, as Kate had said and she was now laughing and looking over. I felt stupid, so I waved, just to make me feel even more stupid. They both waved back and then started to walk towards me.

I could have run, but I felt that Kate would just bring the woman home and find me. So, I slipped down onto the path and tried to make myself not look like a complete buffoon.

"This is Mark, my brother." Kate said and I stared at her as she smiled. "I am staying with him as he's such an awesome sibling." she laughed. "And this is Sarah." she said, gesturing to the woman. Then she stepped back and smiled at me.

"Hi, Sarah." I held out my hand, realising too late it was sticky from the melting lolly I had been holding. Sarah laughed and shook my hand anyway, then laughed more.

"Hello. Nice to meet you... and your, interesting, sister." she chuckled and Kate waved to both of us as she looked around and laughed again.

"Interesting is an... interesting term for her." I said and Kate waved again, then took another step back and turned to look at the sea.

"So, you live here?" Sarah said, a cute smile forming on her face now and I had to fight to stop losing the power to speak.

"Yeah, just up there." I pointed vaguely in the direction of the flat and Sarah nodded.

"I can see why she ran to your aid now." she laughed.

"Yeah, sorry. It kind of threw me."

"Would it help if we had a coffee in front of us?" Sarah said and I shivered and looked across the street to the cafe.

"It would. Would it help you too?"

"Let's go." she laughed and she turned to wave at Kate, who was trying to act as if she wasn't watching everything we did.

"It hasn't helped that much." I said as the coffee steamed in front of us and Sarah laughed. A genuine laugh, light and soft and my stomach did those little turns that such a sweet sound brings.

"Kate said you might need a coffee." She said as she smiled at me and I took a sip of the coffee as it felt cold in comparison.

We started to chat. She was here on holiday, but also to check out places to move to. She had been visiting places just up the coast and seen somewhere good. We talked music, cinema, art galleries and the joys of just mooching around in coffee shops or on the beach. The coffees had long gone when we got up to leave and emerged, blinking, into the sunny afternoon.

"So...." I said, not really thinking too far ahead and failing.

"Yes." She laughed and looked at me, her blue eyes sparkling.

"I was wondering..." I continued.

"I already said yes." she laughed and touched my arm and my legs just managed to not give way.

"Oh. So. Ummm."

"Yes." she laughed again. "Where shall we go?"

"When?" I managed to ask.

"Whenever." she said and turned to stand right in front of me, her blond hair now shining from the backlighting, her cute face glowing, lips slightly pursed, suppressing a smile.

"When are you free?"

"Tomorrow. If that is ok." I nodded. "Maybe go for a walk and decide?" I nodded again. "Maybe swap numbers?" I nodded again and she laughed. "Do you want my number then?"

"Oh yeah. That would help." I said as I reached for my phone.

"Ok, see you tomorrow. Message me with the time and where. I am staying near the station, so anywhere is good." she said and then she walked away and I watched the orange shorts move and sighed. I was watching the shorts so intently I almost missed her turning to wave at me. I waved back like an idiot and she laughed and continued to walk away as I watched, the shivers running through me now.

"Hey." The voice made me jump and Kate laughed. "You pulled, so why are you here alone?"

"We're going to meet tomorrow. Go somewhere." I said, still looking down the street, the orange and green long gone.

"Tomorrow?" Kate said as I continued to avoid her eyes. "Why not now?"

"Too soon." I said. "Plus, she suggested tomorrow." Kate rolled her eyes and then grabbed my arm.

"Come on, you owe me another ice cream." she said and dragged me over the street to get her demand.

I paced around as Kate laughed. I was meeting Sarah near her hotel, it was also near some restaurants, so we could check them out. Kate still didn't understand why I hadn't just pounced yesterday, "Strike while the iron is hot" she had said as she made another attempt to cook pasta that evening.

Sarah arrived, gliding down the street in a knee-length skirt and floaty shirt, the summer breeze lifting the untucked hem and the strands of her blonde hair that hung free down her face, the rest pinned back. We exchanged the nervous greeting and then walked along the street, checking menus and trying to decide.

"I quite like pasta." she said and I agreed, telling her of Kate's misadventures in the kitchen. We talked long after the food and coffee had gone, then walked to the beach and walked on the path as the sea rattled the pebbles. We walked too far, but didn't care. Turning, the town was distant, the spray glowing in the low sun as it rose from the crashing waves. Despite the distance, we still got back to town too quickly and wandered around, looking in shop windows and at other restaurants, getting ideas for the next date.

"Shall we call it a night?" Sarah said as we watched the blue turn darker over the water from a bench, pressed together now, even though it was warm.

"I guess so." I said, not wanting to.

"I am free tomorrow evening." she said and turned to smile at me. "In case you didn't have any plans." she chuckled.

"Well, I was hoping to go for a nice walk and a meal." I said and turned to look at her, the orange of the sky glowing in her eyes.

"Do you need company?"

"I would love that." I said and fought to keep my head from moving to her warm smile.

"My turn to pay." she whispered and I shook my head.

"No, you are the guest in town. It;s tradition the local pays." I said and she giggled.

"Fine. But when I move here I will pay."

Her smile was drawing me in, pulling at me and my brain just screamed 'dive dive' as my head lowered and her smile stayed there, getting closer as I tried to pull away and avoid blowing this, but then she was closer still, moving too and the soft touch of her lips brushed onto mine and my mouth opened and hers followed. It was a slow kiss, almost accidental, but we took our time parting and then we just looked at each other. She smiled again.

This time it took longer to part. mainly as Sarah was holding my head and I had my arms around her. We moved together, lips reacting and interacting and I lifted back slightly and my lips slipped over her bottom lips and I sucked on it softly as her sigh danced across my cheek. I opened my mouth again and she pulled me in tighter.

It was getting dark now, the horizon gone, lost to the night at sea. We walked back to Sarah's hotel, my nerves jangling as we got closer, her hand squeezing mine. She took a deep breath.

"This is me." she laughed as she waved a hand in front of the glass doors, that then hissed and opened and we both giggled and moved a step further away.

"See you tomorrow." I said as she stood in front of me and smiled. She had a lovely smile and my head went lower again as her lips parted and her hand held the back of my head.

"See you tomorrow." Sarah said after we had kissed for a bit more and took a step back and looked at her watch. "It's not far away." she added and I fought every urge to step forward, instead I just gave her a little wave and she waved back and turned. The doors didn't open and she laughed and turned, blushing bright red as she fumbled for the keycard to get into the hotel. "Must be after hours now." She chuckled and then she hurried inside as the doors opened and she turned and waved at me then blew a kiss.

Kate was waiting, lying on the sofa, pretending to be asleep. "Why are you back so early." she said as she sat up. She didn't ask how it went, just was puzzled that I had returned before midnight, even though it was a close run thing.

"We're meeting again tomorrow." I said, totally failing to supress the idiotic grin on my face.

"What? Why?" Kate stared at me and I realised she wasn't joking.

"A second date." I said and her eyes still stared.

"That's a thing?" she mumbled and I nodded. "Hope you got some action anyway. It's about time." She said, her eyes still looking shocked for some reason.

"We kissed. Quite a lot." I said, the grin still there.

"And?" Kate asked, her grin nowhere to be seen.

"We kissed some more." I said and started to feel awkward at how Kate was taking this.

"Does she have good tits?"

"Kate, for fuck's sake!" She just stared. "We only kissed, It was a first date. The first of many, I hope."

"You need to get laid." she muttered.

"Not everyone is like you, Kate. Some people like to meet more than once." I said it without really thinking, the anger bubbling up and I saw the hurt in her eyes, but then they turned cold as she stared at me again.

"No wonder you don't get laid." she snarled. and stood to march off to the bedroom.

I sat and pondered, wondering whether to go and apologise, but I didn't want Kate to ruin the night and I pulled my phone out to look at the buzz I had felt and there was a message.

"Goodnight Mark. S x" Nope, Kate wasn't going to ruin this evening.

There was a plate of pastries with the coffee when I went to the kitchen for breakfast, Kate nowhere to be seen. I had breakfast and waited, then started work, happy it was Friday, the weekend so close and a cute girl closer. The door closed quietly as she crept back, but I looked up and smiled at her and she sauntered over.

"I made breakfast again." she laughed and I thanked her.

"You don't have to, it must cost you too much, you're a poor student, remember."

"Yeah, but my shit for brains fucking useless dad gave me some money. Hush money." she replied and her eyes dulled again. It seemed like a good way in to this subject as neither Suzy nor I had a clue what was going on.

"What is the situation back home?" I said, smiling and trying to look comforting.

"There is no home." she said flatly. She was doing flatly well lately. She turned away, then looked back and sat down, leaning close and whispering. We were the only two people in the flat. "He cheated on her. She's having a breakdown. It's fucked." It was the biggest revelation so far. I nodded and tried to look even more open to her and she sighed. "You can't tell Suze, ok?" I nodded and her eyes were already welling up. "Ok. He cheated with some dirty skank. She gave him the clap and he, being the fucking shit for brains useless piece of crap, gave it to mum." She gritted her teeth as her knuckles went white, gripping nothing but air and holding it tight. "Then the utter fucking cheating prick, blamed her for it. He blamed mum, who would never ever cheat. EVER." I wanted to hold her hand, squeeze it, but she was twisting her fists on the table, wresting with nothing, but giving it a good beating. "She has only slept with him. The only one and the fucking bastard cheats and then blames her for giving him gonorrhoea. What a cunt." she spat the last word so hard I dodged slightly.

"Oh fuck." was all I could think to say. I gathered my mind as Kate fought the demons. "Where is he now?"

"Fuck knows." she spat the words again. "There's more, but..." she stared up at the ceiling, trying to keep the water from running out of her eyes. "He put her in hospital." she said, voice cracking now.

"With the gonorrhoea?" I said, not fully understanding.

"No. No. The fucking bastard beat her and she ended up in hospital." I really had no words now. "This is why I can't go back. He might come for me again this time." I heard the word, but didn't want to press her now, to just let it come out if she wanted and wondered if the comment related to when Suzy said she had changed, maybe her father had beaten her too.

The silence filled the room, dancing with the dust motes that span in the breeze. Kate stood and walked to the sofa and sat, but ended up slumped over, drawing her knees up and the crying started and didn't stop for a long time. I sat on the floor next to her, stroking her arm as she shook with the sobs.

"Shall I help you into bed?" I whispered and her eyes went wide. I flinched and it seemed to break the spell and she blinked, a lot and then shook her head.

"I'm ok." she mumbled, clearly far from it. I left her, glancing over every few minutes as I worked at the table. Going to check as she was curled up, her face wet from tears. I managed to get her sitting up by lunchtime and she agreed to come on a little walk and she shuffled along, clutching my arm as we walked to the beach and sat on the wall to watch the gulls wheeling around.

"I'm ok." she said and tried to smile. "I will leave soon." she said quietly and I turned to look at her, her eyes far away across the sea. "I asked Suze if I can stay there and she said yes. I'm going tomorrow. I didn't have time to tell you. Sorry." Her gaze never faltered, true on the horizon. We both sighed and sat in silence as I felt the ending of something had started.

Kate went to bed when we got back. I cooked some food and left it for her and then called Suzy to check the story. I kept the secrets and my sister confirmed she had arranged for Kate to stay with her. She also told me that our parents were going away for a little break so she hoped to get Kate to relax, but I felt a nagging pain in my stomach, having witnessed the earlier collapse. Then I prepared to get ready, checking in on Kate now and then, but she was sleeping until I was almost ready, her head lifting slightly as I crept in. I knelt by the bed and gently stroked her arm and she smiled.