Anniversary Ch. 03

Her crying had reduced to quiet sobs, she was laid on her side taking the corset off. I put the drinks down and unzipped her boots for her. She accepted the glass of wine I gave her and finished it off in one go. She just lay there sobbing gently. Around the corner came a small tortoiseshell kitten. I'm sure the other two were upstairs hiding under a bed after the noise and shouting.  

Karen looked at me and said through the tears, "who's this?"  

"Hasn't got a name yet, Bozo bought it home yesterday. The vet says she's OK, just undernourished." Karen moved slightly and sighed; the kitten rushed off. At least that brought a smile to her face. I went to gather a couple of cold plastic bags and another cold wet towel, one of my old bath robes and some vitamin E cream. I don't know if the cream will do any good but it's all I had. I started rubbing the cream into her backside, she told me to stop as it was painful. I managed to get the plastic bags and the towels on the settee and then got Karen to sit on it. She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry I did that to you, but I needed that. I still don't think it's enough."  

"I can't do that anymore; I'm not doing that again." I thought for a bit, this might be a bit nasty, "if you want somebody to abuse you like that, best you find somebody who doesn't love you."  

That brought on a sad look, and more tears. These were mental pain tears, not physical pain tears.  

"Can I stay the night please? I don't want to be alone." I still loved this woman with all my heart.  

"Of course." We sat there in silence for a while, she slid across to me, put her head on my shoulder, she whispered again. "I am so very sorry."  

For the umpteenth time I wasn't sure what she was apologising for, there was plenty for her to apologise for.  

I stood up, I had things to do, I lit the fire again, I knew Karen would appreciate it. I ordered Chinese to be delivered, put food out for the girls and the kitten and got some more beer. I sat back down on the settee watching the fire start to grow from a bit of kindling into a proper fire and only stirred when the Chinese was delivered. Throughout all that time Karen had her head on my shoulder and said not a word.  

We went to the kitchen to have dinner, which Karen had to do standing up, the kitten followed us to the kitchen and scrounged some chicken. The other two had popped in as well, then they went and curled up in front of the fire. We went back to the sofa; I took more beer and wine in with me. I threw some more logs on the fire. I stroked her hair with her head on my lap, she looked up at me, "Thank you that was nice" She gave me a slight smile, "I've got to lay like this, it keeps my backside off of the settee. But whilst I'm here, if there is anything you want me to do, just say so."  

I was not actually in the mood for a blowjob, strange as it may sound, causing somebody I love pain kind of dampens my sex drive.   

We stayed like that for a couple of hours. Both lost in our own thoughts, occasionally I managed to rub some cream into her backside. Very little was said. Definitely nothing of importance. We went to bed after I fed the girls and the kitten, again. As we laid in bed cuddling she asked if she could come round again tomorrow for a talk. There were things she was going to tell me today that she didn't get a chance to. She kissed me, not hot and sexy but loving and told me not to worry, she did think there was anything bad in there or that I would dislike. That confused the fuck out of me and I was confused enough as it was. I said she could. When I woke up in the morning, she'd gone, I suspect she had to go home and get some work clothes on.  

I spent the rest of the day worrying about what she was going to say, I had to get some work done, oddly enough, It wasn't the best I've done.  

She turned up just after 6 o'clock, walked straight in and popped a large dish in the oven and turned it on, her hair was parted in the middle. She laid the table including beer and wine glasses. We talked about the usual mundane stuff again, her parents, cats, weather, the kitten but when I asked about her work, she shied away from that and said. 'Later'.  

She'd got Miriam to make a cottage pie with lashings of cheese on top and the sprinkling of mixed herbs and there was a beer waiting for me. She had a bottle of wine and a wine glass, but the bottle wasn't open. I asked her why the bottle wasn't open and she told me she didn't want to drink and drive and she couldn't presume I'd let us stay another night. Even though she said she owed me one orgasm that I should have got last night. I leaned across and opened the wine for her and poured her a glass. We finished dinner she cleared away the plates. I expected to move into the lounge, back to the sofa but she stayed where she was. This was going to be it.  

"I didn't want to talk about work earlier, because I've been offered a promotion." I was about to say something when she held her hand up and said. "Please let me finish this, may it take a while.   

"It appears since I've been going to the psychiatrist my attitude has changed slightly, I've become harder, less mumsy. Previously they thought I was too soft to run my own team, always giving in to the stronger voice, but since our divorce and seeing Doctor Jane they think I've toughened up. So, I feel I've benefited because I fucked up. I hurt the only man I love, I made him divorce me, I hurt him so much he couldn't live with me and I've come out better off for it. That's why I came to you last night. I shouldn't benefit from my fuck up. If you say so, even though we're not married, if you say so. I will turn the promotion down. But taking the promotion does mean I can stop doing my waitressing job."  

I thought about it for a bit, it didn't take long, I had strong feelings on this. It would benefit no one if she did not take the promotion and if the company thought she was the best person for the job, anybody else wouldn't be as accomplished or good and that could cause problems.  

In the advertising business, Karen was always the one that showed the caring side of an advert, she looked at it from the mumsy side, the housewife side, the person who was caring side. Other people would hit hard with the bam this is what you want/need whereas Karen was more of the this will help you along, this will make your life easier approach.  

It appears after seeing Doctor Jane she'd lost a bit of her Mumsy and could be quite hard at times. She still retained her soft mumsy outlook, but at times she hardened it up from, 'this will make your life easier', to 'you need this to make your life more enjoyable', not much of a change to the uninitiated but management seemed to like her new approach. She didn't do it all the time but when she did it seemed to fit what the customer wanted. This worked to her benefit as management had thought she had been too soft for a managerial role but now they recognised her change in attitude and offered her the promotion.  

"No, I think you should take it. You seem to have learned from your mistakes, that's possibly the only positive thing to take away from this."  

"Thank you, is there a hint of forgiveness in there?"  

"There's a large slice of forgiveness, but I still can't be married to you, you know that every anniversary thing."  

"Ah, I fully understand that, And I think your girlfriend does too."  

This was the first time new Karen had been mentioned. I wondered where this was going.  

I carried on playing the game, "how does your new friend Karen feel about this promotion?"  

"Oh, she's delighted by it, we've discussed lots of things," she looked down into her lap and said quietly, "when we're alone together in my caravan." She looked at me with a small smile. "We often have a chat late into the night."  

"So has she learned much from you?"   

"Oh yes, she has learned what an utter fool I've been and not to make the same mistakes if she gets the chance to be with you. I told her you completely understood who I was, what sort of person I was, where I was coming from, you trusted me and you allowed me to do pretty much what I wanted until I abused that trust and stepped over the line. I deluded myself I could get away with it because I was helping someone in need. There is absolutely no excuse for what I did."  

She pushed her glass to one side, leaned forward, looked me square in the eyes, and said. "She will not make that mistake."  

I was a little taken aback by her ferocity. I had definitely got the message so now I tried to lighten the mood, "so you and Karen chat a lot then, what do you actually talk about." I was sure the answer was going to be interesting. What does she think about in her head?  

It didn't go as planned; she took it on a serious note. "She wants to know all about you, what you like, dislike both in and out of bed."  

"And what are you telling her?" I asked.  

"Well, she knows you're a bit kinky, I've told you like tying up pretty ladies and teasing them with an inch of orgasm, you like leather, PVC and latex clothing on your girl; you don't like to wear it. On the normal life stuff, I've told her what food you like, and you love cats and cricket, television shows you like and which you don't; that sort of stuff, your work, that you work from home a fair bit, I even touched on politics."  

"Well, I hope you didn't tell her about any specific incidents like you being tied between two trees opposite a stationary train."  

She put her hands to her mouth, "shit I'd forgotten about that, that was fantastic; why didn't we do that again it was such a turn-on."  

"Because you said you didn't want to. You would never do that again, as good as it was."  

She giggled, "Yes, I did, didn't I, perhaps that was a mistake. it's a pity we can't do it again, I did enjoy it. But there's nothing stopping you from doing it with new Karen, I think she'd like it."  

That was a strange comment, new Karen and I hadn't got as far as sex yet.  

"So, you've talked a lot, is she kinky?"  

"About as kinky as me, maybe a little bit more if you know the right buttons to push. Like being tied to a tree and being fucked." She gave a little giggle.