All Comments on 'Another Day at the Beach'

I appreciate your submission, and always enjoy a mom son story. My feedback is about the tone and focus of the story, which felt a bit inconsistent. What felt like a more straightforward build of a teasing + voyeuristic story between a mom and son (mixed with a “take photos of me” + “no one knows we’re related” setup), soon began to meander. The sequence of the son going to and from the bathroom felt like it lost its way, and the eventual confrontation seemed to include the dad out of no where, and also seemed to include the son’s aggression out of no where in calling her a bitch.

What started out as teasing and infatuation meandered into coercion / reluctance territory, which took away from the focus of the initial premise you introduced. I thought your descriptions and prose were solid, but it felt like the story was trying to be a lot of different things, and as a result seemed a bit unfocused by the end.

Should have left out the other guys part. Went from a 5 to a 3.

Why do so many writers refer to male semen as the "seed?" It's the 21st century for heaven's sake, it was in the 19th century that scientists found out that the woman carries the seed, often referred to as the egg, and semen fertilises the seed.

It all seemed totally unrealistic. Jimmy waiting until his mom was cumming to walk in on her. The “innocent question” might work for a 13-year-old, but not a man of 18 or 19. Also Mom too easily went along with her son invading her privacy. The two stories I’ve read seem to suggest that incest, while not normal, isn’t all that far away for a mom and son to indulge in.