All Comments on 'Assassins MC Pt. 19'

The problem with your little 'love' justification here, is that Rich took the choice away from the women. Every single one of them. They were his slaves and COULDN'T say no to him. If you take away someone's right to say no, you've also removed their ability to say yes, which means at best these women learned to make the best of their slavery, not that they liked it. And that can't be love.

If you want us to believe this is a 'love' story, they need to have the capacity to choose what they feel. He never offered any of them that. He told them all early on he would fuck them, and whoever else he wanted, whenever he wanted whether they wanted him or or not. He also told them he would let whoever else wanted to fuck them have at it whenever some random dude from the club wanted it. And of course, since they are just there to boost his ego, none of them had a problem with this - which is ridiculous.

He moves from one woman to the next constantly and the relationships aren't developed. You can't really expect us to believe Rich of the Magical Dick, a boy with zero experience, was immediately able to find a clit, much less be the man of every woman's dream here. It's laughable.

In spite of your attempted rationalizations, it's still not love. Rich is not a good person and he doesn't deserve a happy ending - he hasn't earned it.

And really, this isn't much of a story. It's fine for erotica if slavery and harems are your thing. but for this to be a story there have to be consequences for Rich.

He never had to prove his loyalty to the club before they ruin women's lives to enslave them to him.

He never feels conflicted about what he's doing - and you made it so he never has to because all the women are constantly reassuring him whatever he does that nothing is his fault and everything is okay.

He never had to prove he was actually capable of anything, yet the women, money and power just keep rolling in for him.

He never suffers consequences from the club for letting Penny get kidnapped and gang raped, for example - in fact, the club just piles more women into his house even though he's proved he's incompetent. What organization in their right mind leaves property with a bumbling idiot especially after he proves he's a moron and can't take care of it? Why didn't they take away all the women and make him earn them back?

None of these women ever call him out on his shit. Why? Probably because, you know, they are slaves and in the end it doesn't matter what they think or feel. For fuck sake, you have Rich keeping them naked because they don't pick up his socks and clean up after him fast enough, and that's all okay with all of them.

You write the women as weak characters honestly. They have no depth all just magically become whatever you need them to be, sexually like whatever you need them to like no matter what happens to them, and say whatever you need them to say to poor, little confused Rich so he doesn't have to feel badly about what he does to them. The problem with that though, is your narrative is only as strong as your weakest characters, so if they are all doormats, and they are ALL doormats, for Rich and automatically going to love everything about him, Rich isn't strong either, is he? No, he is as shallowly developed as the rest of them, and therefore not interesting. I read this far wondering if it was ever going to evolve, but clearly it's not.

Put some reality in here and make him earn their love. But he can't, can he? Because he's just a kid. You just hand everything him to him on a pussy platter, and quite frankly, it's boring.

It could have been called 'How A Delusional Boy With No Game Enslaved Women, Fucked Everyone, and Thought It Was Love."

I haven't left yet...I'll see where this goes. I really don't want to read a love story, but again, this is Literotica.

That was better, Rich improved. Now he must take charge of his women.

Time for kids.