All Comments on 'At Long Last Ch. 04 - Revelation'

Keep going. Great story.

I’m really enjoying the story, keep going! The only feedback I have is that you keep switching between present tense (“she sees”) and past tense (“she saw”), sometimes in the same paragraph, which is quite distracting. You should pick one and stick to it for the entire story. There is basically no situation where mixing them is the right thing to do. Past tense is usually easier, but either works. Up to you.