by CindyTV
This is a truly amazing story. The pain and anguish involved in the last part of the story was moving. I didn't cry; I think I was too broken by the outcome.
I felt for Martin in particular, his passing was so sad and unjust.
Thank you for writing Cindy, not a happy ending, but a very moving and powerful tale.
A moving story filled with emotion told by an accomplished story teller.
Well done.
CTV, just a couple of questions.
She was adopted at birth by Carlos and Maria Bautista, a Cuban couple in Miami,
Carmela did not have Justine's natural talents but was equally as attractive and outgoing as Justine, but now five years younger and full of energy.
Carmela was a carbon copy of her sister but a few inches taller.
Was Carmela adopted also?
My name is Martin Creed, 42 years old, and married to Justine for the last five wonderful years.
Dad was now 92 and knew he wouldn't be around much longer and had the attorney make plans for the inevitable change of ownership.
So his dad was 50 when he was born and had no other children?
Did the Creed men prefer to wait until way late in life to have a family?
Other than that it was a pretty good story, though I can't understand why she wouldn't have sued MGM for having put her in that place if it was found out that she had been drugged.
The melodrama kept my interest, but it was pretty heavy-handed on the morality exposition.
Why so tragic ?
The wife made a mistake but she wasn't a cheating bitch.
Too sad an end.
I guess it's your story & once again, very well written.
@drafonmann72 - Yes dad was older when Martin was born. Regarding Carmela, people don't have to be related to look similar,l. She didn't need to sue MGM because she didn't need the money or want any futher embassment from the ordeal.
Original -- I like original; 5* ( PS Not every story has to have a happy ending).
It's a sad story, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. My only criticism was that the reconciliation dinner was on their anniversary, and in a month, they would have been separated for a year. Hadn't they been separated since their year earlier anniversary? Regardless of that, it is another great five-star story from the queen of BTB if you will allow me a bad pun.
@skubabill - No, the separation agreement didn't take place on their anniversary, but when Justine got back to Miami after her surgery in NY. Cindy
I Loved it, as I do most of your stories. But not a happy ending. 4 stars, the Bear approves, but wishes Marty had lived. He took care of business, swallowed his hatred, and took her back. I'll to have a long talk with Karma about the outcome. Other than that, great story.
The BEAR
I always enjoy your stories but my god you heaped misery on misery there, Good job!
Very good! 5/5
"When success becomes everything, everything else dies slowly and painfully" morale of this story!
This one rises to the level of a medieval morality play…reminds me of a York cycle play. Clearly defined issues, hubris leading to a epic fail series of intensely personal moral failures, clear and decisive consequences, and almost biblical disaster consequences. Almost a parable with that Greek tragedy ending. A great morality play by one of my favorite authors.
5 well deserved stars.
I was looking forward to the happy ever after ending but it all falls back to the consequences of our decisions. I really do enjoy your writing keep up the good work
My guess is Carmela probably feels partly responsible for all of what’s happened.
Powerful Story. I actually cried! Your writing has improved a great deal since your first story a year ago. Five Big Stars! - JB
Basically, a good story and pretty well told. Changing back and forth from 1st to 3rd person was distracting. I enjoy your storylines, though. Can’t make it to 5*, so it’s a 4 from me. Thanks for taking the time and writing this.
Nice story but of course the obvious is always overlooked. I mean she could have gotten a different flight, he could have gone along (not taken that guys private jet) with her, they could have gotten a second room as husband and wife.
Great story, another one for the books. You should maybe consider a book of your shorts!
Did someone write this in your name , it's nothing like your usual style , nowhere near as good ?
The plot was decent enough and although I was sorry to find Marty murdered , it served to make the story more realistic in that everyone lost something , no one won .
But it's the writing style , it just didn't flow , reading more like a list of events than a story .
Happy to give 4 * for the plot and hope for a do over , maybe ?
DK . Thanks for posting and allowing comments .
It's not a big deal, but to go a whole year without contact wouldn't seem to help with resolving their relationship. One of them would have moved on.
Love the story. Thank you!
Being an attorney, I can't help but think that MGM would have liability in this and for them to cancel the contract because they f'd up would land them in court. The fact that Pierre manipulated the studio to put her on his plane is still on the studio.
One question: why were she and Pierre sharing a suite, even if it had 2 rooms? Sounds like another mistake on the part of the studio, but IDK - there isn't anything that explains this sharing. If it was her decision, she clearly wasn't thinking.
All that aside, I would like to say I really appreciate your stories.
Story was exactly what you told us it would be. Only serious plot gap is there’s no way Pierre walks after drugs were found in her body. The police would have then searched his room and found the drugs and his sorry ass would spend years in jail. I didn’t like our hero dying, but it’s your story. The ending was anti-climactic as you used an accelerated narrative style to rush us to the end. Decent story overall and you seemed to spread your wings a bit in this one. 4.2*
Good story. In real life I would have suggested Martin go with her she would have missed that flight but traveled there and not been vulnerable.
It's a very good story and a truly excellent death scene. I don't really blame her. She expected unpleasant, but not drugs. Still, I can't blame her husband, either. It was painfully believable.
Awww, why kill the big guy? Our hero should spent the reat of days pounding his dick into wifeys special places, all 3 of them! 😀🙀
Crisply written, the story moved along briskly. I enjoyed it right up till Martin took her back. That dropped the story from 5 to 4 stars for me. I think writers should have the right to choose their plot points, but those points should be logical and consistent with the characters as they have been written. I felt too little responsibility was placed on Justine. I can buy she may have had to get on a plane with him, but no reason she needed to let him hang all over her, or even talk with him at all, let alone agree to stay in the same two bedroom suite. NO ONE agrees to stay in the same suite with someone they hate. As the character was written, Justine was setting herself up to be in a situation to be taken advantage of, even if she felt she could resist. She truly did set the table for everything that happened to her. This story did not make sense for reconciliation.
First, I have to emphatically state that no woman deserves to be raped or drugged.
That said, I have to sign up with the crowd that places more blame on Justine than the author offered. A sudden business deal pops up, yeah OK, that happens. Justine's portraying that flying to France for the deal MUST be done via on her ex’s private jet (with him) is BS – book a flight. Then arriving for the gig she’s booked into a suite with the ex? No way in hell, in fact, her sharing a suite with the ex would be enough for me to send her packing.
More stupidity: deciding to accept being alone, drinking champagne in the ex’s suite.
Is Pierre freakin’ guilty & deserve what he got? – absolutely & then some, but I wished Martin would have walked in, thrown the flowers in her face, and cut the bitch loose.
She did not deserve his forgiveness, he certainly didn’t deserve to die.
You would think a rich and famous woman could secure a different hotel, or hotel room. Forget the private plane and last minute travel plans.
Most poor people like myself can get a hotel or motel almost anywhere at the last minute. So I can understand the premise up to a point. She could easily book a different room. Maybe she was drugged at diner. That would make the most logical sense. Good story regardless. Thank you for sharing it.
How to write a really depressing story in one easy lesson, excuse me while I toddle off to slit my wrists.
A tragedy.
Nicely executed, it flowed well, and stirred emotions.
Thank you.
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Be well!
Some of your stories are more enjoyable reading than others. This one not so much.
But they are always worth the time spent following along on your creative path, so please keep writing them.
And thank you.
MLJ
When a married woman goes alone with her ex in his hotel room, what could ever happen ? The totally stupidity, and utterly irresponsible behaviour, of this woman caused the chain-reaction events that destroyed so many lives.
If a maried woman goes alone in a night-dance-club, and then after flirting with some interesting guys get drugged and raped in some private room, who is the main responsible of that awful outcome ? The rapist or the idiot irresponsible woman ?
Wow that ending was so sad. Always enjoy your stories, well written.
Thanks for writing 5⭐️
Good story! I really enjoyed reading it as I do with most of your stories!
Well written. But, WOW!! Could write a sadder tragedy? Nobody came out alive.
Kurmugin
You write these strong, independent, intelligent, and congruent men who are always successful, but where their spouse is concerned, they always fall apart like Soviet dress shoes on a rainy day. She drops the trip on him, and he gets whiny and becomes the typical LW male: angry, petulant, and passive-aggressive; he acts out by ignoring his wife's communication. Then, the sister-in-law, who dispenses wisdom like a combo of Abigail van Buren/Mother Teresa, tells him what he needs to hear.
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The French police would've acted on the drugging allegation, especially since it was a high-profile case, but you left us in suspense. You detailed other things post-confrontation, but the rape/drug allegation fizzled. That should've been a lynchpin in the plot instead of an afterthought. I wonder if that would've precipitated a reconciliation, and we can't have THAT in an LW story. If she were drugged, she would've known the results before being flown out for surgery. That would also require them to arrest and try Pierre, thus derailing the murder at the end.
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Also, when people enter France, their passport is scanned. The French police would've known Martin was in the country, and if he flew from Paris to Cannes, there would also be a record of that travel. This is MUCH more than circumstantial, and trials like this are handled before judges. Furthermore, he can be arrested and tried in absentia, and if found guilty, the seven-year SOL doesn't apply. Recall they did that to an American in the CDG Concorde crash. Evidence in French courts isn't subject to the strict rules we have in the US.
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It's your story, but I didn't like the ending. It's still a five rating.
I actually cried at the ending. That was an amazing love story in line with Romeo and Juliet for tragedy and emotion.
Ignore the Anon's. I just read the last comment that stated you faults. Clearly this Anon never wrote his own story. Where did he get his definition of Burn the Bastard - is he making up his own? He said it's in the wrong category as well - what a fool. This is exactly the correct category, about a loving wife who makes a mistake. Then he comments that all the endings should be happy in this LW theme - Why?
Like I said, ignore these fools and keep up the great work! 5 stars from me. - Kelly
Very sad, but actions have consequences.
A well written story and I didn't spot any errors, as they normally jump off the page at me, having spent years drafting and proof reading contracts.
I don’t understand why Martin didn’t just block Justine, Carlos, and Carmela. He told Justin to only communicate through his attorney.
I would have scored it higher if Martin had been killed in his way into the restaurant before the reconciliation dinner or if there was no reconciliation and Martin was still killed leaving the restaurant. Overall it was a great way to burn Justine in that she lost everything she actually loved.
You gloss over the point that she was in constant contact and fighting off seductions by Pierre for months before the ill fated France trip, Then she consented to allowing him to give her oral sex as she didn't consider it cheating. Which also makes her a liar as she swore she would have nothing to do with him. That's 3 strikes and your out doll face let's have lil sis get a turn.
I usually like your stuff and this is well written. But Jesus! Everybody’s life sucked, and they died. It’s like French cinema. I don’t expect rainbows and unicorns but I do like a light at the end of the tunnel.
@Anonymous
Nice story but of course the obvious is always overlooked. I mean she could have gotten a different flight, he could have gone along (not taken that guys private jet) with her, they could have gotten a second room as husband and wife. - Of course all of those options are available, but a story would not have the same impact.
Any spouse who would put herself in that position lacked the judgement necessary to be a trustworthy spouse to have your back. Really that simple. A married woman staying in the same bedroom suite, for God's sake! There is a reason for married propriety like not drinking to excess with a man not your husband. It's not about a spouse wanting to control you, but avoiding things which makes one doubt their trust in having your back. He was right to shun her after that performance. If you let someone come between you and your marriage, there are consequences. The crux of this author's stories.
It was obvious, based on her actions, that her dream was more important to her than her relationship. So, if she listened to him and gave up her dream she would have ended up resenting him.
To the commenter below who posted this question:
"If a maried woman goes alone in a night-dance-club, and then after flirting with some interesting guys get drugged and raped in some private room, who is the main responsible of that awful outcome ? The rapist or the idiot irresponsible woman ?"
====> the rapist, moron. She made a mistake. She did not ask to be drugged and raped. She is a victim. That is why if caught and charged the rapist would go to jail. What society do you live in?
So hard to finish reading this tragic story.
But I do say it was well-written tale although a bit overload on details.
One thing I can say though is that she permitted Pierre to go down on her for oral sex.
That was truly the mistake she made that spiraled into a disaster of broken lives.
If only women could say NO, no predator could ever take a woman.
But again she was drugged, so I had to grudgingly admit ah it's reconciliation.
The surprising twist though was Pierre's revenge and that alone made me plod on to read till the end.
Thanks CindyTV
I liked this story, but one thing that always bugs me is changing perspective during the telling. It starts off with the husband in 1st person, then switched to 3rd person and floated between several different characters. This story would have been best starting and staying in 3rd person.
That aside, a good but tragic read from Cindy, thanks for sharing.
I like your writing as usual. Nice story, different angle seldom seen. Just wonder if it was necessary for him to die. The wife was misguided bit showed no bad intentions. They were both victims.
An ambitious story, far more complex than the first stories you published on the site when you were starting out. Characters had flaws that led inevitably to their demise (had Martin not cut out the guys tongue he might have survived to rejoin his wife). Things were unpredictable, yet inevitable. I foresee more and even better stories for this author in the future.
WOW - Great Writing Cindy. This is a Real Masterpiece! 100 Big Blazing Stars for you this time. Great Great Writing, Great Story, Great Tragedy, Perfect for the HallMark Channel! Heart Breaking story. What a Great Job you did on this. I have read it twice and probably going to read it again. Fantastic Thks, Buster2U
Actually it really "cracks me up" the way every possible aspect of Lit Stories are analyzed over and over as if these stories are Docu-dramas. That the author who spent hours and hours writing their story, pondering the path of the story, double checking spelling and grammar. I know, I usually spend at least 40 hours going over and over a story. So many things to watch. LOL Yet all these "Lit Professors" feel the need to critisize some one's work. They can't write a real story but they can post an opinion in the comments. LOL Cindy, just delete them. I love to do that. LOL Great Story. thanks, Buster2U
The author is great because they made me hate Pierre AND Justine. Why Justine? Because she thought getting her pussy licked wasn’t cheating . Yeah she was drugged but you mean to tell me she couldn’t have gotten another flight on another plane? She is just as guilty as Pierre . Rip Martin.
5 stars
Love the drama, almost perfect, except one thing. How the hell dude got away with rape? If her husband believed it, there must be solid proof, and nowadays you hardly even need that to put a tag on a perp and give him hell.
Best writer on LW.
Original story and yet , it echoes the old parable about pride and greed.
CindyTV you make me
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AMerryman
I’m sorry but this reads like rape apologia. Particularly because the rape completely gets buried in the rest of the story. She catches all this blame because a predator set everything up so he could prey on her. And it’s interesting to me how in all of these stories it’s the wife’s fault for pursuing success, and the wife’s fault for the husband pursuing success. What’s so wrong with a wife pursuing her own dreams of success? The husband was a nepobaby who was handed a business by virtue of being someone’s son. Justine worked to put her studio on the map, and to pursue her dreams. Could she have done things better when it came to the Cannes thing? Sure, but she was trying for a dream of hers. And this story makes it seem like she should have given up on that dream because nepobaby could pay for everything. Why though? Why doesn’t she get to have her own dream? If it hadn’t been for a predator, then she could have had it. But then, when the predator strikes, she loses her dream?
Like, I get that injustice is a real thing, and I don’t think it’s wrong to have it. But by the end we’re suppose to accept that Justine deserves to pay the price of losing her husband and her dream because of a shady deal from MGM and a predator who raped her.
It just seems like the point of this story is to say “listen here kids, if you put yourself in the position of being preyed on by a predator, then it’s your fault for being the prey. And you’ll lose everything and deserve it.”
Like is said. Rape apologia.
To the commenter below. You forget that she allowed him to eat her out, so while she didn't agree to be fucked, she had already cheated on her husband. And good luck selling rape in court after agreeing to oral sex with him, and sharing a suite with him (a known past lover/fiance).
I like how this idiotic story blames Justine for being drugged and raped. Martin was a crybaby who didn’t deserve his wife. Instead of supporting her through her trauma, he cast her aside.
I knew when they called me at noon and gave me 5 hours' notice that it was going to be a bad day.
This is where a normal person would laugh at them and hang up
Didn't like him dying. He was shot why couldn't the doctors stop the bleeding. They must not have been very good. Why wasn't he taken to trauma center.So l only giving it 3 stars. Almost gave you only 2.
How do you come up with this idiotic stuff?? What do you have a room full of 8th grade boys sitting around thinking up stupid, unrealistic stories to get the BTB trolls all whipped up. You’re a woman for cripes she. Stop the self hatred will ya. Plus this shit’s neither interesting , illuminating, nor remotely realistic. I know it’s fiction, but it should at least bear some redrmblance to real human beings rather than the simpleton morons your perverse brain conjures up. How about taking a break from writing this imbecilic none sense and find something useful to do? This is dreck. Reading your stuff is like the train wreck you can’t look away from, but know you should.
Go away. Or if you just can’t resist this woman hating rubbish, at least write something remotely interesting and morally challenging. This is the worse stuff on website that has an occasional excellent piece amidst the litter of dreck that’s over represented here.
5 stiziars!
This is one of my favorite stories from you. It actually seemed relatively more grounded, and less 'over the top'. Imo it felt more like one of those crazy dramas you'd see on TV or a movie instead of an over the top BTB.
But I have questions! What happened to Justine!? I thought she'd end up killing herself at the end. Why was she a recluse for only 5 years? What happened to end her self-imposed exile? What was her ultimate fate? I need closure CindyTV! Lol
Mind numbingly aweful and just “who would do that” level stupid. For all the rave reviews below, yikes? Oneif thecokmentatirs below quite remarkably called this undertaking “ambitious and complex.” Really? Fucking really? What are you comparing this to — Fred Flintstone?
Wow. Just wow. If this is where our civilization is headed, yikes! Fucking yikes! This is hair hurting stupid.
Pleas stop pandering, and write something thoughtful and meaningful. Your bad girl/saintly boy formulae is weak, boring, repetitive, and laughably stupid. I’ve been around a while and haven’t seen or heard of people acting in his way.
If this was a 5th grade writing class, I’d pan this story. The narrative is straight out of pandering 101, aiming smoky to please to a small sub-culture of angry misfits, the lowest common denominators. Try something a bit more meaningful and genuinely challenge yourself, Really.
Great story. I am a little sad over the ending but still a great story and it works. Also don't delete all those comments that criticize a story you wrote, some could have some very good feedback and help improve your stories. Do not be like Buster2U, maybe if he read some of the comments his stories would be better. Your worse story is better then his best story as least as far as scores. I do not write stories because I figure my stories would be worse then Buster2U.
The last sentence got to me.
There is a saying, Better an end with horror than an endless horror.
Captcha
Wonderful story, 10 stars! Pierre got his, but Martin suffered. Justine suffered, but had she listened to her husband, it wouldn't have happened. The whole sad situation, including her missing her husband, had her finger-prints on it. EXCELLENT, CINDY!
@Fjmax6 - Thanks for your encouragement. I only delete comments that are hateful and offer no context to improve. Just like the two previous Anon comments that commented how awful the story was, comparing it to Fred Flintstone level writing, and offering no advice or critiques . No need to allow immature Anon's to leave post like that. - Cindy
Well done.
It's nice to see how this writer has grown.
The plots have grown tighter
and more interesting.
I support comments urging the writer
not to let bad comments bother him.
There are people all around us
who are not too bright.
They can't help it.
They were born this way.
Others have to find a way to accept that.
Top ratings from me.
I like your stories. You keep writing and I will keep reading. 5 stars from Xluckylee