All Comments on 'Bast Pt. 03'

Ending made me laugh, love it

I'm glad you added this chapter even if you thought it was unnecessary 🙂

"Meh, I'll just check LE before bed. Probably still no part 3 to 'Bast', but maybe there'll be something else good."

I want to be clear that I'm only fussing like this because of how much I like your writing in general, and "Bast" in specific.

First: this really could have used more Bast.

Second: for how much the narrator cares about Efe, simply saying they speak "Nigerian" makes him look a bit ignorant. He might not know any Hausa or Yoruba or Igbo, but he should at least know that's what Efe and Kayin are speaking. Even if they're speaking Nigerian Creole/Pidjin, that's also called 'Naija', (and, actually, by going with "Naija" you can avoid issues with "that's not an Igbo/Hausa/whatever name").

Third: Bast's timing with the new girl is too perfect. Kayin *just* announced her pregnancy not two minutes earlier. Goddess, yes, but the way you've shown Bast as working, it would've made more sense for the new girl to show up a few hours later.

Fourth: I understand the appeal of doing a time jump, but one of the plot points you introduced was "Kayin is trying to get him a better job". There should have been *some* indication that he was doing better, even if it's not better *enough*.

There's other things I could fuss about, but that's just stuff that's not to my liking, as opposed to stuff that's actually wrong.

(Well, and there's vocabulary issues - wrong/missing words, but that's just flaws in execution)

I love this story. Everyone caring for each other is quite wholesome, and then there's sex!

(Reads anonymous’s helpful critique notes)

(Looks at bookshelf where Half a Yellow sun can be easily seen)

(Realises he has no excuse not to remember about the languages.)

-cough- nothing to see here. Thanks for the advice.

The people demand more Bast! More Bast! More cat!

More please.

MORE BAST PLEASE!

I love it !

Excellent balance. I like that nothing feels coerced between the characters. Bast is a really interesting character. I hope we get to see something from her perspective, but then again, leaving it to the imagination might be just as good.