All Comments on 'Becoming Kari Ch. 02'

You've demonstrated a good imagination and great detail with the sex scenes, but I would recommend you spend as much time with the other details of the story. Using "X-Change to duplicate bodies doesn't make sense unless there is some other connection to the "other" such as a DNA sample or prior research sampling to enable the "duplication pill" to be created. This may sound like a picky detail, but I've found that figuring that out (plus more detail of the prior relationship between your two main characters) will expand the story and create interesting character lines that will enable the story to take on even more surprising twists than the one you ended with.

You're a good writer. Avoid taking too many shortcuts to get to the erotic action at the heart of your concept. Tease your readers a little more and have fun doing it.