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"Listen you little tramp... I don't know what happened in there but he's one the best guys I know. If you think it was his fault, you're so totally wrong. Odds are it was all you. He's smart, funny, loving, generous, and never plays games. If this is how you are, it's good to know. I guarantee he's better off without you."
"Listen...."
"Listen? I'm not going to listen. If you didn't hear a single thing I said, I'll.."
"Wanda! Take a breath. Just stand there. I'm sorry. I apologize. I take it all back, whatever you thought I did. Listen, don't move." She scooted a couple inches closer, but recognized that Wanda a still a bit worked up. "Wanda, I'm sorry. Look at him! Please look. He can't decide whether he should stay in there or come out and rescue you."
"What I think is that he's so in love with you he doesn't know what to do. He'd rather keep you as a friend, then actually come out and tell you how much he loves you. If he thinks there's the slightest chance he could lose you simply by telling you, he'll never do it. I almost think that's kinda sweet, except I can see how much it hurts him to keep it inside. Do you hear me? Yes or No? What would he be like if you weren't in his life? He would be the poster boy for unhappy. And I think you feel the same way he does."
"So, this wasn't even a real date?"
"Does it matter? He just wanted to come see you. I just tagged along for the ride. Everything that happened was my idea completely and totally spontaneous. Look at him. He had no clue."
"Oh, he's gonna get it."
"Oh, Wanda. I hope you mean it the way it sounds. Are you totally missing the point here? Everything that happened was my idea. Don't take it out on him. He brought me up here to see if you knew anyone you could fix me up with."
"Listen, Wanda. I so envy you." She looked down and her eyes glistened with a few unshed tears. "All my life the guys I've met were assholes, only interested in one thing. Unwrapping me. I can only hope I can find a guy that loves me that much. I hope you're smart enough to realize what you have." When she looked up it was with a bit of sadness and anger. "I'm gonna poke you in the chest, then it'll look like we're still having words. But then it'll be in your hands. When I get to talk to him at work, I hope to god you guys have figured something out--gone home and made out or even fooled around. If you guys waste this chance, then you're both idiots."
With that, she shoved Wanda in the chest and walked out the door.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Wanda crossed her arms and looked down at the floor for a full two minutes, chewing on the whole experience. She lifted her head up, her mind still in a tumult from entirely too many thoughts, and looked back into the restaurant. Unsurprisingly, there he was waiting in the doorway, with that look of concern on his face. Looking to see if she was okay, hurt in any way. Like usual. He spent not enough time worrying about himself and far too much time worrying about her. Worry for her, even when Tamari was a foot shorter, maybe 80 lbs dripping wet, built more like a China doll than a young woman. Move into the future waiting for Mr. Right or admit that maybe he'd been next to me the whole time? Go home to an empty apartment each night or one where someone's waiting for me each night, someone who loves me unconditionally. You'd think it would be straight forward. Is it that simple? 'God, he gets under my skin! Out of all the guys I've known, how does he stir me up so much?'
But the last thought that popped up was: 'String him up by his thumbs or take him home?'
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 2 years agoI gotta agree.it’s like these are all different stories with the same names. They are all good as standalone tales, but mismatch on the edges too much to be one story. Either split them up with different names or rewrite in a logical sequence.
Only 4* this time.
Tc
Anonymousover 2 years agoChapter One, they get together and her family knows. Chapter two, it never happened, its years in the past and they're friends and will never get together.
Chapter four, they get together, say they love each other and her family knows and approves. Chapter five, they are courting, haven't begun their relationship fully and his cute coworker is making them face their feelings.
If these stories are part of the same series, then keep the timeline and events straight. If they are part of different series, then use different character names, de-link the stories and use unrelated plots.
Good stories, but in need of an editor to keep the plot square between stories.
Tonyspencerover 2 years agoThis chapter really came out of left field. We already had the declaration of love at her dorm, then very briefly the possibility of a rival in Kenny, which was dismissed, followed by the tacit agreement that they make the perfect couple from Wanda's family and at least David's mother.
Then they go to the Big City together after college and they are living apart, and the relationship has cooled significantly, what happened?
Anonymousover 2 years agoThis makes absolutely no sense after the Thanksgiving and Christmas chapters. You ALREADY got the together, confessing their mutual love, and her family knowing. They were already past what this is still setting up.
