Blind Date Ch. 02: Blake's Story

He had me panting in seconds. The sucking and the touching, stroking, probing all brought me to new heights of pleasure. I heard myself yelling out all sorts of things, but it sounded like someone else. It felt like I was having an out of body experience.

He pulled away long enough to grab a condom. I noticed it was a brand new box of twelve as he opened it. I wondered how quickly he went through a box of twelve condoms. Before I could think about it much more, he was back between my legs, touching me, preparing me.

"Blake, look at me." He stopped just as he was poised to enter me.

I shook off the fog and looked into his amazing eyes. "I'm ready, Deen. Please."

As we maintained eye contact, he pushed his body into mine, slowly but steadily. I gasped as he invaded me. It felt massive and I wanted it all.

His eyes held mine. I couldn't look away. He slid the rest of the way into my body, filling me so completely I nearly cried. I felt fulfilled at that moment. Not just filled.

Careful to support his huge body over mine, Deen started to move within me. Slowly at first, he kissed me slowly, matching his pace between my legs.

"Deen!" I yelled his name as he started to move faster. His giant frame hovered over me as his muscular hips, thighs and ass pummeled me into the bed. It felt amazing.

"Come for me, Blake. Come hard on my cock. Fuck!" He was moving so quickly now, it was all a blur of mind melting pleasure.

My orgasm was building, my penis held tightly in my hand, I pumped it along with his thrusts. I squeezed my eyes shut and yelled out as I started to come. His mouth covered mine as he pounded into me even harder.

"Blaaaaaaake!" His baritone turned to a growl as he started to come. He pulled out and pulled the condom off. He squeezed his head and milked even more semen onto my stomach. His breath was ragged and he looked like a wild beast above me.

Unbidden, some of the animated monster porn I'd seen popped into my mind. A soldier, separated from his unit, lay beneath a massive raging bull man with a glistening cock nearly half as large as his entire monster body. He forces his way inside, pounding into the man, so deeply you can see the bulge of his massive erection as it fills the soldier's belly with each thrust.

I shook off the mental imagery and became aware of Deen moving closer, bending to lick our mixed seed off my torso. Shortly after that he went into the bathroom and came back with a warm washcloth and a fluffy towel. He cleaned me up, so gently and reverently, it almost made me cry.

He came back and scooped me up, holding me like a big baby in his arms as he pulled the blankets back. He gently placed me back on the bed and then climbed in next to me. He pulled me close, holding me gently so I could pull away if I chose to.

What I chose to do was cuddle up against this giant teddy bear of a man and inhale the scent of him and the smell of our sex. I fell asleep seconds later.

It was close to noon when I finally awoke. Deen was dressed and sitting at the table looking at his laptop. When he noticed I was awake, he smiled at me.

"You looked so beautiful sleeping in my bed, I didn't have the heart to wake you. Are you hungry?"

I nodded as I stretched and yawned. I felt exhausted from the long day I'd had yesterday but I also felt rested and exhilarated. It was so foreign feeling.

He came to the bed with a cup of coffee. "Do you want cream or sugar?"

"You have cream and sugar? I assumed you ate nothing but lean protein." I kidded as I took the coffee from him. "Black is fine, thank you." I smiled at him in gratitude.

"No, I eat everything and anything I want. It's just about balance and activity level."

"You make it sound so simple." I kind of chuckled to myself as I sipped the rich coffee.

"It isn't, as you clearly know already. You're in great shape and you must work hard to stay in shape. I would know." Deen smiled as he moved around the room, looking enormous in the confined space.

"I guess being a bodybuilder would make you an expert." I moved to the edge of the bed and stood. I was still naked so I moved into the bathroom to find my clothes and use the facility.

"Amongst other things." He replied to me but he was looking at his computer again, politely avoiding staring at me as I moved to the restroom.

I pulled cleaner clothes out of my backpack and put on my jeans and a different t-shirt. I shoved my damp, sweaty club outfit into the bag, mentally preparing to do laundry as soon as I got home. Now I needed to get home.

An Uber in the middle of the day on Sunday, from one suburb to another would be much easier to find. I planned to pull up the app as soon as I went back into the bedroom area.

Deen was watching me as I came back, fully dressed with my backpack on my shoulder. "You didn't answer before. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, but I'll just eat when I get home." I replied noncommittally as I pulled on my shoes.

"Okay, I can drive you home, if that's what you want. Or we could stop somewhere for a big breakfast." Deen stood and grabbed his keys and phone, clearly planning to give me another ride.

"I can call an Uber." But even as I said it, I could tell he wasn't into that idea. He'd relent if I insisted, but he preferred to drive me, it was plain to see on his face.

"An Uber? Really? Please, Blake. Just let me drive you home." He looked oddly innocent as he asked.

"Okay, thank you. That's very nice of you."

"Breakfast or no?" He asked as we walked out into the parking lot towards his black SUV. He opened the door for me.

"Yeah, that sounds good." He seemed so eager to spend time with me. No one had seemed eager to spend time with me in the last decade or longer. Not even Glenn. Not like this.

We stopped at a family style restaurant owned by a Greek family, like many of the local places in our area. We ordered massive breakfast plates for lunch and chatted easily as we devoured it all.

I found out that Deen was a nutritionist of some sort, which made so much sense. He asked me about the military and what had made me decide to stay here, of all the places I'd been and lived.

He seemed to be able to navigate the less comfortable topics without hitting any of my tender nerves. It was nice to talk to someone new, who already seemed to care about my feelings.

It was obvious to me that Deen was extraordinarily intelligent. He told me he was forty five and he'd been single for most of his adult life.

"I've always been focused on one goal. At first it was getting out of Detroit. I did that by becoming a bodybuilder. I focused on my body and career for years."

"You didn't date?"

"I dated, yes, but nothing serious. I tried relationships several times when I was young, but I couldn't be the kind of partner anyone needed. It wouldn't have been fair to any guy I cared about."

"That's how I felt when I joined up and then got my degrees while in the service. I needed to be the best sailor, the best student, the best officer. Then I met Glenn."

"What changed?"

"At the time, I thought everything had changed. But now, in hindsight, I realize nothing changed. My whole relationship was second to my career and Glenn was fine with that."

"Were you fine with that?"

"I thought so." Was I fine with it? What the hell?

My relationship with Glenn was easy and comfortable. I hadn't needed to change nearly anything in my life to incorporate him into it. It was secure but passionless.

We'd both put our military careers first. We came home to each other at night and shared space and friends. But it was lacking that big love that I'd wanted to find, but never had. It was convenient and effortless, but not in a good way.

"You alright over there?" Deen's deep voice brought me back from my memories.

"Yeah, I'm good. Since Glenn died I feel like I've learned more about myself and my relationship with him than I did the whole time we were together. Is that weird?"

"Not really. It sounds like it was pretty routine, which I assume as a military man, is a safe feeling. People like to feel safe."

"Yeah, you're right. It was routine and safe. It was boring. I feel bad saying that though. I was married to him and I loved him." I stared into my coffee cup on the table.

"It's okay to feel all those ways, all at once. It's normal."

I looked at the mountain of a man that sat across from me. I noticed people looking at him as we talked. He was too big to miss. I'd nearly forgotten he was so unusual.

We paid the bill and got back into his car. I gave him directions as we neared my neighborhood. I stared at my rental I'd shared with Glenn as we sat in the driveway for a moment.

I wanted to be home, but this place didn't feel like home anymore. It never really had, but it was as close as it got for me. How did this happen? How was this my life?

"What are you thinking over there?" Again, Deen called me back to reality.

"I'm so sorry, I keep spacing out. I guess this whole weekend gave me a lot to think about." I thought Pride would help get my mind off everything, but instead it helped me see everything through different eyes. I hadn't expected that at all.

"Can I text you later?" Deen asked after I'd rejoined the current world in his vehicle from my mental detour.

"Give me your number. I'll text you if I decide I want to." I offered him something without giving him the control. I needed the control right now.

"Sure." He put his contact info into my phone and handed it back. "I really hope to hear from you, Blake. Really."

He looked lost. Or sad. He looked like he wanted to beg me to text him since I wouldn't relinquish control of this situation to him. It looked like he was struggling with giving up the control. I imagined he was a man used to being in control of everything around him. He seemed the type.

I smiled at him and nodded to acknowledge his request. I just couldn't answer him because I didn't know what I was going to do. I opened the door and started to get out of the Escalade.

He came around and walked me to my door. He bit his lip, looking like he wanted to say a lot, but also unsure what to say. I needed to throw this guy a bone.

"Thanks for the ride, and everything else Deen. I had a wonderful time. Last night was especially incredible."

"I hope we can do it again." He smiled and tried to relax.

I nodded again and then I pushed up onto my toes and kissed him quickly. As I sank back to the ground, he reached over and put his big hand on my shoulder, touching my neck gently. He looked into my eyes.

I had a feeling he was trying to memorize my face. He was sure I wasn't going to contact him. I just knew it. And I couldn't confirm or deny it. I just didn't know.

He left and I went inside and I looked around the house I'd shared with Glenn for two years, since we'd been stationed here. The whole place was painted white and we'd never hung anything on the walls since we were renting.

It was so dull and boring. It felt lonely and reminded me of Glenn. The nothingness reminded me of Glenn. I needed to get out of this place. I needed to start over or try again or something.

I needed to have color in my life. Color, excitement, fun, lust, love, passion. Anything! I needed to fucking live. I had yet to live. Even with my travels and my marriage, I still felt like I'd never started to live.

I decided to call my mom. And when I did, she instantly knew something was off, it wasn't just a normal Sunday afternoon social call.

"So, what's up?" She cut to the chase.

"I just got back from Chicago Pride. I had a really nice time, which pleasantly surprised me."

"I'm so glad you went. How was everyone?"

"Fine. It's still weird with some of them, but I'm ready to move on. I'm rethinking everything."

"Are you coming back to Atlanta?" She asked hopefully.

"No, that isn't changing. I love my career and I love this area. I'm still buying here, but everything else has changed."

"Okay, well explain it to me. What is this "everything else" you're referring to?" As usual she knew what to ask to get me to open up. She was kind and patient, which I loved so much.

"Glenn. I'm ready to move on, mom. I need to get out of this house. I need to maybe hang out with some different people, doing different things. It's time and I'm really ready."

"I'm so happy to hear that, Blake. I know you loved Glenn, but you're so young. You have so much life to live. So much love to share."

"I know." I got quiet as I thought about sharing that life and love with someone new. Deen popped into my mind, but he wasn't what I wanted. He was just on my mind since it was all so fresh.

"Did you meet someone?" How did she do that?

"No. Not really."

"Don't lie to your mother, boy!" Her church-lady voice came out.

"Mom. I met several people this weekend, but no one I want to date, so let's move on please."

"You're awfully defensive for a guy who didn't meet someone. Tell me about him."

"You're impossible, you know that?"

"And you're stalling, Blake."

"I danced with a guy at the club and then my friends disappeared, so he gave me a ride home."

"You said you just got home. What happened between the club and now?" She never missed anything.

"Do you want details?" I threatened to overshare to get her to back off.

"So there are details? I knew it!"

"Oh my god, mom. I hooked up with a stranger. He's not my type, so I'm not going to see him again. He shall remain a stranger. Happy?"

"And what is your type? You just said everything needed to change. You wanted to try something different. You were talking about this guy, so just cough it up."

"I wasn't." I wasn't. Right?

"You can lie to yourself, but not your mother. Tell me about this guy. Why isn't he your "type"?"

"He's a literal giant. He was a bodybuilder. His body is freaky looking. We had breakfast at a restaurant and everyone was staring. It was uncomfortable."

"Okay, but you like him."

"No, I liked spending one night with him, but it wouldn't ever work. Wouldn't it be weird to date someone I'm embarrassed to go out in public with?"

"It sounds like you need to get over yourself, Blake. You sound just like those black boys you tried to date in high school that didn't want to date you because you were "whitewashed". I'm surprised at you."

"What? I'm nothing like those guys!" I was on the defense now.

"You are exactly like those guys. You like this man but you're worried about what other people will think. It's exactly the same." She snapped the last sentence.

"It's different. I'm telling you why I'm not leading him on. I didn't tell him any of this, just to hurt his feelings like those guys did to me."

"Now you're just splitting hairs, son. Other than the fact he's different and attracts attention, what else do you know about him." She changed tactics.

"He's forty five, six foot five and he weighs three fifteen. He's enormous. He's really smart and very nice. He's from Detroit and he's Saudi. His family has been in Michigan for a number of generations."

"My goodness, he is big. It's he handsome? You know I love a nice dark skinned man, from anywhere." I could hear the smile on her face. Dirty old lady.

"He's got the prettiest eyes I've ever seen, but I'm not really attracted to his looks. He shaves his head and has a dark, full beard which he wears trimmed. He looks like a "daddy" type, which isn't my thing."

"I'll pretend I know what a "daddy type" is. How can you think he has the prettiest eyes but then say you're not attracted to him?"

"I don't know." I really didn't.

I had never liked that type of guy. He was probably into leather bars and piggy porn. His eyes were beautiful, but the shaved head and dark beard, on top of the massive body and all the hair, on every inch, just didn't do it for me.

Even if I wanted something different, like I'd just claimed, it didn't have to be that different. Maybe I could date someone that wasn't Navy. Someone like Dex. He was my type and still very different from Glenn.

Dex was a hairdresser and flamboyant compared to guys I'd usually be attracted to. Someone like him was different enough. I just needed to find someone like that. Someone that wasn't Deen.

Lost in my thoughts for the moment, I realized my mom was yelling into the phone.

"Blake!? Are you judging this guy based on his looks? That seems unfair."

"Mom, please. He's not what I want." Even as I said it, Deen's words from last night came back to me. He'd said "I'm never what people expect. I'm used to it." I'd said that same thing my whole life.

I wrapped up the call with my mom and moved the laundry I'd started earlier into the dryer. I was ready to get back to my routine and let my Pride adventure be a fond memory.

I met up with Tom and worked out at the gym that evening. He asked about Pride and I told him about everything in general, but I didn't mention Deen at all. I was done explaining that situation.

I showered before bed and made sure my uniform was pressed and ready for work in the morning. But I couldn't fall asleep as I lay in my bed in the dark.

My mind worked over my conversation with my mom and my time with Deen. I tried to convince myself it was exactly the same as what I'd gone through after my hook-up with Dex. But it still felt different. It was different but I wasn't sure why.

I tossed and turned for several hours. I had the strangest craving for a big teddy bear to cuddle up to. That thought upset me. I was sure it was just because I'd done that just last night. That's all it was.

Even if I wanted to see Deen, I didn't want to BE seen with him. And that was terrible. He deserved better than that. I was a black man discriminating against another man because of his size and the shape of his body. I felt despicable.

I'd been treated differently by black people and white people my whole life, and I was no better than any of them. I was too black for most white folks. I was too "white" for most black folks.

In the Navy, I wasn't a color, I was a sailor and we were all the same. But that was a rose colored view, too. I was treated as less than during pretty much all stages of my naval career, just like in my life before. I already knew I'd never make "them" happy. And yet I wanted to avoid dating someone because of how "they" would react.

The alarm rang a scant few hours later and I had to go to work. Exhausted and feeling like a piece of shit, I dragged myself into the office, as much as I could in my stiff uniform and my drilled in good posture.

By lunchtime I was distracted and completely out of sorts. I changed in my office and went for a jog. I showered when I got back to the hospital, and tried to press on for the rest of the day.

One of my civilian coworkers, who I'd grown fairly close to, stopped by an hour before the end of the day. She asked if I was thinking about Glenn? She pointed out that I looked upset and tired.

I looked at her in shock as I realized I hadn't thought about Glenn all day. Not even at home this morning. I had such mixed feelings about that that I almost started to cry and laugh all at once. I felt like I might be having a small mental breakdown.

I brushed off my work friend and told her I was just hung over and tired from Pride all weekend. She looked skeptical but eventually left so we could finish our workday.

While driving home from the hospital I considered texting Deen. He'd been so sincere about hoping to hear from me. I felt bad about not reaching out. But I didn't want to date him, so what would be the point?

Maybe I should just text him to check in and give him closure. I could just let him down easily if he asked for more. Because that's totally normal, to contact someone to let them know you're still not interested, for their benefit. What a load of bullshit. I was an ass hole.