by wfm1969
Really liked this one - but I agree with the other comments - it felt a little rushed at the end! Good start though!!!
I'd've rated this higher if you hadn't littered it with grammatical / spelling errors and not rushed through the ending.
You must have been absent from school when the class discussed pronouns! Obvious glaring misuse detracts from an otherwise good story. Have someone proofread your stories before submission.