All Comments on 'Bonfire'

Am I the only one not seeing the ending

Congrats on your first story! Suggestions:

1) ended way too soon. Need to explore how they "help" her. Incomplete stories do very poorly

2) use tags. It's not hard to do. Just go to the tag portal and look what other use.

I know this is your first attempt, but you either need to carefully reread your own work or have someone you trust read it before you publish it. Size 28a is somewhat impossible on a college aged woman. Don't stop writing, just double check your work.

Loved it!

You said this was your first story, so I just want to let you know that when you're writing erotica, it's not a good idea to end on a cliffhanger without ever getting to the sex. People are on here for the sex, and all the backstory is kinda secondary. I think your writing is good, but you should think about your plot structure as foreplay, rising action, climax (orgasm), falling action (optional), and resolution.

Great start looking forward you what comes next.

It's not almost impossible. There are plenty of woman with 28a breasts. Just because you may never seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

A good story has a beginning, a middle and an ending. The ending was them feeling her tits? Probably not but the story didn’t deliver…

I love the build up, but it really missed the payoff.

A good story, but the dialogue with self is disjointed. Keep writing! My first college party was at a frat house. I got drunk and fucked by several guys. It wasn't really rape because I was intensely excited, the first guy was wildly handsome, and I did not resist once he got inside me. I'm not sure what the others looked like because there was only a small lamp in the room, but I was thoroughly satisfied, and comfortably sore, for over a week. I had not planned on being intimate with anyone, but magic happens. :-)

Sorry it's not finished everyone! Here's the next part - https://literotica.com/s/bonfire-ch-02