by bouncingboobs
Never seen this author before and I was happy to look but...I see other stories from him and I will go look now. Hoping they got a bit more storytelling.
The overall story can be good but the way it is presented, it feels like you are writing a summary report and not a story for literotica.
I can't imagine how bad it was BEFORE the "editing" to have ended up so bad AFTER.
(-1,000,000 *'s)
Really, there is no writing or editing talent here at all.
This story was posted AFTER it was edited? I'd hate to have tried to read it BEFORE it was "edited". In a word? Terrible.