Boots 02

Boots 02

"LOL, you're funny, Larry, pretending that you're not gawking at Caroline walk with Minnow on the other side of the Strip, so?"

"Boots, well, whatever. And why didn't you refer to me as Lizard then, hmm? I was just getting used to you dissing on me, so?"

"Oh, um, Larry, I feel as if I owe you some kisses based on my scared behavior of the past, so?"

I mean, I was expecting Lizard Larry to go all "who are you" and stuff, but nope, he went all "the alley access walkway is this way" instead. And with purpose too!

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah, smack, smooch]

"Who the hell are you then? Like a robot replacement for our secretly beloved Boots, hmm?"

"Push hard into me, Larry the Lizard! We may never do this again!"

Maybe not the best warmth of the moment thing to say, right? But it was only going to be a one-time thing anyways, so.

[Mwah, ummah, push, smooch, lip smack, hump, mwah, push, force it, mwah, push, grind, push]

"Hmm, whew, that's enough then, Larry. Well, one more quick go at it and then that's it!"

[Mwah, ummah, push, smooch, lip smack, hump, mwah, push, force it, mwah, push, grind, push]

"I'm fucking your little sex doll robot body, Boots!"

"LOL, oh, you just did, Larry. [Mwah] so, I'll see you around then, Lizard and we're tied now!"

By the way, since my shell broke, yeah, that's kissing little sex doll robot to you!

"Boots, Sup?"

Yeah, we covered that "Sup" thing in the last chapter, right?

"Hey there, hey, Steve, Sup?"

"Well, I mean, are you going to Bruce's party? And why don't you call me Slick anymore, hmm?"

"Oh, you're still Slick Steve, but I see things differently these days, anyways, I mean, since I saved the replacement companion pet day, I've been getting invited to a lot more stuff, which is great, but it somehow got stuck in my head that I should wear my boobs tube top since I don't wear it very often, but on the other hand, I mean, I'm talked about enough as it these days, so?"

"So, wear it then! Most people want you for, well, just wear it then. What's the "sup" problem, hmm?"

"Oh, um, it's suffocatingly tight so it doesn't slip down and the plastic zipper thingy in the back goes all "grr, grr, grr" likes it's about to fling open and the truth is that it takes another person to zip it up for me. And cut off my breathing capabilities, so?"

"But you said you're worn it a couple times, so? Also, is there still a thing between you and Nate, hmm?"

"Well, the three times that I wore it and had help zipping it up, um, it was before I knew about sex and things became more of a fight than a fitting. And Nate and I still talk since our thing is a total secret, so?"

[Woof, yip, yap, wave]

"She's waving at me, Steve. And Minnow knows me now, so."

"Or Caroline just threw out the "have sex with Boots' booty in the alley" hand signal, Boots!"

LOL, so totally not Caroline's style! Well, right?

"I mean, as my days of Slick and all, I have been all up in there, Boots, so?"

"Steve, well, OMG, you weren't all up in there! It was a pretty damn slick finger dip and you certainly had your aim down pat, but you have a girlfriend now and I all of sudden seem to have a wide variety of choices, so. And I had to block you from my "sex doll robot" page on Chang last night because your new girlfriend, Tara, started to follow me and I'm not going to be reason she breaks up with you with the comments that you keep leave on my page! But I promise that I will unblock you in three days when you ruin the relationship yourself, so?"

LOL, I was being generous with the three days, but people grow up and change sooner or later, right?

"Sup, robot?"

"Oh, hey there, hey, Brad. Since when do you talk to me, huh? I don't even have nickname for you from the lack of contact between us, so? Also, hey there, hey, Brad."

"Are we on a date tonight then, Boots?"

"Well, just how far away from the Strip do we have to drive to save your masculinity then, hmm Brad?"

"Oh, not too far, Boots. I mean, either to your place to watch anime or to my place. I mean, I may or may not have bought a couple of bales of hay and I'll bring you back to the Strip, so?"

Oh, well, I mean, if he couldn't even be bothered with spreading the bales of hay out into a makeshift hayloft, then forget it, right? Even if bales of hay were of a good height to bend over, still, right? I have a hay bed rep now, not a bent over a makeshift couch rep, so.

Besides, Brutus Bruce had already tricked me with that, which is why I know the height is perfect, but what I found out the hard was that bales of hay were baled together with metal baling wire and it cut my forearms, so.

"[Mwah] raincheck, Brad. But look me up at Bruce's upcoming party. I mean, maybe he had the sense to snip off the metal baling wire by now. Or by the time of his party if you bring it to his attention that metal baling wire cuts into the forearm skin, tee he, not that I know that first hand or anything, so."

Boots! Are you seriously just walking away from me tonight then, hmm?"

"Oh, no way, Brad. I'm kissing your dick a couple of times in alley right now! I'm just not leaning over anything for you tonight! Well, I'm kissing a couple of times for a malted and a free pass for no other sex, so?"

Well, everyone is happy that way, right? LOL, almost! I mean, my first time when I kissed Wrong Way William on his dick a couple of times, I mean, ooh, ooh, ooh, I got really scared when his body sensations and vibrations made it crystal clear what was about to happen, so I got scared and pulled my mouth off of him, but, LOL, I kept my hand grip and boom, I had a human fountain in my hand! I mean, it was all "sploosh, sploosh, sploosh" straight up into the air and there were like eleven splooshes! And a couple of squirts and an ooze. But it was amazing to be at the control panel of such a water fountain and well, maybe I still don't know much about the "ick, ewe" of it all, but give me an operator's cap and take me to the alley!

And you know regular guys, right? As long as things go all "sploosh" and stuff, right? Plus, it's over for the mess of such a splooshing fountain and you're off the hook for much else. And you're kicked out of the car, but the Strip and alleys are close enough to walk, so.

Also, is it a malted from the Malt Shop or just a malt from the Malt Shop, hmm?

"So, you don't even try to hide your baby man bulge anymore, Boots, hmm?"

"Mildred, it was your suggestion, for Pete's sakes!"

"Well, I'm lonely, so sometimes I have to start the conversation!

"Well, don't even hand me an empty cup!"

"Then take in your butt and let me suck it out of your butt then, Boots!"

"Mildred! For Pete's sakes, woman!"

Nope, nobody even tries to explain Mildred's behavior anymore, so.

Also, nope, it doesn't work all that well when things go all straight up in the air "sploosh, sploosh, sploosh" and trying to catch even one stream in an empty malted cup!

"Oh, OMG, Boots, get on that ooze, Boots! Ooh, oh, those lips, Boots!"

Well, maybe I knew a little something about the "ick, ewe" of it all, but it's like on page two of the handbook, so you have to do it sooner or later.

"Tee he, you're a mess! Like go straight home mess, Brad!"

"Aha, aha, ahh, ahh, you're lucky you're such an alluring little sex doll robot, Boots!"

"Why, Brad? Would you spank me over your knee until I cry, Brad? [Mwah] I'll walk back to Strip and um, find me at Bruce's party and, um, bring me a cold shot of Raspberry vodka or something [mwah], bye, Brad."

See, everybody is happy. Well, almost.

"That's far enough then, sweet cakes, so?"

"Oh, well, what do you three thugs have in mind, hmm?"

"I mean, we know that they call you Boots and we know that the access walkways are meant for certain things, so, well, we just want to have a little party with you, that's all, so?"

"Oh, so like a three on one party then, hmm thugs?"

"Aha, aha, aha, anyways, you ignore us on the Strip!"

"You smell bad!"

"Oh, well, we think it makes us cooler to not shower for a few days, so?"

"It does not!"

"Oh, thanks for that info, but anyways, let's get with it, sissy!"

"Oh, you fucking assholes thugs! I am not a sissy and I would never wear a cage!"

"Fine, straight, not straight, um, boy, girl, 3rd species! We can still make a meme!"

"Oh, you fucking idiot assholes thugs! Memes are not real!"

"But we saw one and we liked it and you have two hands and a mouth, so, are we getting with this or not, hmm? Also, we have some red pills to make this not a rape!"

[Hoof, woof, hoof, woof, hoof, woof, grr, grr, GRR, GRR, GRR!]

"What the fuck?"

"Down, Minnow! Today is not the day I teach you how to chomp a man's dick off! And that's not what momma is doing with her boyfriend sometimes, so watch what you learn! And please stop going all "aha, aha, aha" for Pete's sakes! Anyways, boys????"

[Grr, grr, woof, woof]

"What the fuck?"

[All three thugs cover all the important stuff and look more like girls doing that then Boots does]

"Again, is there a problem, boys?"

"Ahh, ooh, um, oops, nice doggie. We were just picking up trash in the access walkway, oops, not that I just said the ever popular and foxy Boots the robot sex doll, is trash, so, oh, do you all hear my momma calling out for me, tee he?"

"Here's what's going to happen, boys. One way or another, we're going to fire to all three of your gawd awful nasty and smelling jeans, so, you can be in them or we can have a little bon fire on the ground, so pick one A or B, boys!"

[With three wannabe thugs shaking in their tracks, Boots decides to chime and save the day, again]

"Holy hell, Caroline, you have a boyfriend? How do I not know that, hmm?"

"Oh, Boots, I keep Jack a secret from the likes of this town!"

[This time Boots comes to the rescue of the three scared and shaking wannabe thugs]

"Will you tell me a little about this Jack guy if I buy us a coffee from the Lava Java Coffee Shop then, Caroline? I'm sure we will find an outdoor café table to sit at with Minnow, so?"

"Well, wet jeans probably don't burn, so, as they just said, let's get with it, Boots!"

[Well, what about the three scared thugs then? Who wet themselves, huh?]

"[Smooch] shower, comb your hair, dump these two and call me, wannabe thug #3."

"Baa, baa, baa, baa Ben."

"You waved at me once."

"I, I, I, I did wave at you once."

"I need $40 for coffees and the tip, baa, baa, baa, Ben!"

See, folks? Everyone is happy. Especially me since all three of them slipped me $40 each!

And that's how you safely walk out of one of the access walkways!

"So, Jack you say then, Caroline, hmm? Also, since they are watching us walk, do I sway my hips from side to side good enough, hmm?"

"LOL, like a robot, Boots, like a sex doll robot! Heel, Minnow. Stay in step."

Well, I knew they were watching us stroll, so.

"Oh, so, Boots, what do you know about this weekend job that my step brother, Billy, has taken on, hmm? I mean, he's pitching hay in some hayloft? What's that all about?"

"Oh, tee he, it's just a short-term side job, so, um, don't worry about it until you hear about him shearing the sheep or chains rattling in the background of his phone calls, tee he."

"Alright, Boots, now, let's get that coffee and find you a suitable boyfriend on the Strip then, shall we?"

I mean, the way we walked together with Minnow in the middle, I mean, that must have looked like a movie ending, right?

End Boots 02