All Comments on 'Breaking Angela Ch. 02'

Loved it!

Migorian, I find you Master of nothing and if this is how your training happens, you've already lost my respect. I find you disgusting.

Thank you all for your feedback, both good and bad it is much appreciated. I understand a few of you disagree with how I wright and I am sorry that you do not like my style. Hopefully in the future my works will more suit your needs. :)

Well so much for the "Thank you for sharing your story freely" with us crowd checking in on chapter 2. Kind of a violent group here today. Sorry for the heavy negativity you don't deserve all of that.

I just checked in to say, and I don't mean to pile on, this continues to play out as a romance novel setup. Any time an authors uses these types of words..."We train slaves here for people, someone has decided they wanted you. We accepted the payment and here you are" basically means some wimpy person is enamored with the slave and didn't have the guts to express themselves directly.

But as I noted in my comment for chapter one, I am expecting the story to begin once the hidden persona appears. This is all just setting the basis for that story line. If I am wrong, and this story is only about the training of a slave, and it will end with the delivery to that unknown entity, then I have a few notes that might matter.

Again, the first issue is Steven, the protagonist of this story (albeit an Anti-Hero, still the protagonist). As such he is missing the mark. There is no persona for us as readers to connect with regarding this character. He is simply a tool for you as the author to use to deliver pain/pleasure to slave. If he is not a short term foil to progress the early chapters please give him a persona that would give us a reason to cheer him on as she achieves each of his goals.

Slave is just a 19yo college girl who you described as having "no friends, no confidence". If Steven's character is thin, hers is anorexic, as the only purpose and presence she has in this story is to take Stevens pain and pleasure. Why is slave being trained? What is the end goal of that training? Why does slave not want to be a slave? Why does slave want to be a slave? Why someone under 21 you can't even take that slave out to a club or bar here in the States? The continued absence of these details leave slave quite literally "Just another cog in the wheel" even to your readers..

So while the scenes you paint with words are good and exciting, there is no emotional attachment to any character that has us deeply engaged with the story behind the pain and pleasure. It is that attachment that makes us anticipate the next chapter vs passively reading it if and when the next chapter appears. Give us a reason to want to read the next chapter.

Looking forward to seeing what you post next.

People keep reading it, so you ought to keep writing it.

It's not like fiction/fantasy actually hurts anyone.

For every guy that feigns 'butthurt' about stuff like this there are a hundred who recognize it for what it is intended to be, and appreciate it as such.

As a matter of fact, some people get a charge from virtue signaling about this kind of stuff, and while they claim to hate it, will hang on every word of it.

Keep going...

Again, thank you all for the comments both good and bad. I write these stories mostly for myself though I would be lying if I said that I do quite enjoy the followers. I take no offense from the poor comments as I believe the only reason people are hateful on the internet is to release steam or have a little control in their lives. Besides I am far too old to get twisted up over other people's opinions. I have more stories coming beside this and the " A Debt of Honor" series. I can only hope they also get as much attention good and bad!