All Comments on 'Brutopia - Ritual Consummation'

This is pure sexism.

Disgusting pathetic excuse for a story. Bullshit.

For folks who are flipping out over this idea I would remind them that this is fantasy. Mature people can separate the difference between fantasy and reality. No one is suggesting that any woman or young girl be so treated.

Perhaps it was your intention but I do think it was interesting but a little too mechanical. I would not have let her have any doubt what was going to occur after she had been deflowered. And I would have included a section where her mother was explaining this to her. So she had plenty of time to internalize the fact that she was going to be deflowered and then gangbanged by her father uncle and brother?

I think the bones were good. I think you might consider revisiting it to raise the emotional content for her while the SRC is treating her as just another hole to be breached. And since this was his first professional deflowering I would have made it much harder for him to go the entire 10 minutes. He would have made it but I would have made it clear he was having way too much fun.

I'm going to follow you and see how you're writing improves. Good luck.

Great story.