Building Bridges

"Humiliated? I'd be honoured. We don't live in a feudal society anymore. No-one expects me to own you or to try and control you. If you choose to have a baby fathered by someone else and also choose to remain married then I'll feel special. You could choose to divorce me and make a new life if you want to. I don't need to justify myself to anyone else. And it's not as if we don't know couples who must have had equivalent discussions."

"We do? Name one, please?"

"How about Emma and Rob? They tried for a baby for years. But Rob can't be a father, so they got IVF and used donated sperm. Do you think they didn't have a discussion about her having 'another man's baby'? Of course they did. Jenny could not be mistaken for Rob's genetic daughter. But we all know and we are all happy that they are all happy."

"This is not the same."

"It's equivalent. The point I want to make is that I don't mind you telling people that you have been cuckolding me for almost a year. We all know that Rawiya is bisexual. Is Phil humiliated that she hooks up with other women every now and again?"

"I don't know, Len. I worry about you being humiliated by people we don't know when we go out as a family and they see the baby doesn't have your genes. And what about the parents at the school gate? Don't you fear silent judgement? People thinking that you might not be man enough for me?"

"No. I won't be humiliated by silent judgement. It's partly that I just don't care that much. But it's also a point of principle. I look at the reviews on Goodreads and some of them are just insane. I don't make decisions based on reviews of my books and won't make decisions based on reviews of me. The people who criticise normally do it because they are hiding some terrible fear in themselves. The violent homophobes are all worried that they are gay. I bet you that anyone who criticises me because I love you cuckolding me is secretly worried that they want to be cuckolded."

I paused and could see that Inês was happy with my defence. Then I spoke again.

"But, I do have other concerns. I'm not worried about myself but I am worried for you. You might have some of the fears I dismissed. And just because they don't scare me doesn't mean that they don't scare you. But also, would this harm your career? Would you struggle to get big jobs like this again?"

"No, I'm not scared of people looking down on me for cuckolding you. People seem to be more understanding of a woman's needs. But the career question is legitimate and something I have been considering. Fortunately, we don't need to rush into a decision."

* * *

Christmas was horrific. After almost a year without friends and family, I felt overwhelmed. I hated the forced, alcohol fuelled jollity of the season. There were too many people and it was too loud. And, Inês had taken her decision. She would not be getting a prescription for another six months of the pill.

I wanted to get back. I wanted her -- and Amadeu, João, and Miguel -- to start work on expanding our family. And then Christmas was over. We travelled back to our special house and I felt so much better.

A few nights later, João had delivered an orgasm that left Inês shuddering with pleasure. I eagerly waited for my command to clean her up. But Inês was leaving more time between her lover leaving the room and demanding my service. I said nothing as I was sure I knew why. She wanted to give the sperm time to reach her cervix. She didn't want me eating it before it had had a chance to do its job.

Eventually, I was called into action and delighted in taking her orders. Then, afterwards, I spoke.

"I think Amadeu, João, and Miguel have either learned new things or something has changed. I am sure that your orgasms have been more intense since we returned. Has something changed?"

"I think it has, Len. I think you always feel freer after you've made a big decision. But I know that sex with them now is repro sex. Get Inês pregnant sex. Go home with a baby growing inside me sex. It's the sex that will show the whole world that I cuckold you. It's the sex that means we'll have a piece of here going home with us in my womb."

"That'll do it. Yeah!" I was feeling very happy.

* * *

I was in the bathroom and missed the first part of her sentence. I thought she was complaining that something was behind schedule. I stopped the electric toothbrush, spat out the foam and yelled through the door.

"You're not running behind schedule. I saw the little Gantt chart you had on your laptop last night. You're at least a week ahead."

"I didn't say I'm behind schedule. I said I'm late."

I looked at my watch. Then I realised.

"Oh." Grin forming on my face. "How late?"

"Five days late."

"Nice! I like the sound of that. May I kiss you?"

She leaned forward and kissed me. A gentle romantic kiss became more passionate and then she broke away.

"Only you and I know this, Len. I didn't tell Amadeu, João, and Miguel that I wasn't on the pill anymore. Actually, I never told them I was on the pill and none of them asked. I don't know if they don't care, are keen to get me pregnant, or are just men who don't think about that kind of thing. But don't say a word to anyone."

"Like I could if I wanted to! The only people I speak to are you and my editor. We just discuss the next novel. She's never mentioned her family life and never asks about mine."

"Good." Then she looked at her watch and gasped. "I need to rush or I'll be another kind of late. A big meeting with the government today. Ohh, that kiss smudged my lipstick. I'll have to fix it in the car."

* * *

"You know, I'm going to be showing before we leave."

"Is that a problem?"

"Probably not. But Amadeu, João, and Miguel aren't blind. They might ask questions."

"They might. Or they just might feel smug that they've been cuckolding me for over a year and put a bun in your oven. I don't know. I'm still not very good at Portuguese and they don't go out of their way to chat with me."

"Well, let me know if they say anything that makes you uncomfortable, sweetie. I know I let my three local lovers get me in the pudding club but I don't want them to be mean to you."

* * *

"I've booked an appointment with our GP for when we get home, Len. She'll connect me with the midwife and so on."

"Sounds good. I'm glad we'll be home when you have the baby. It'll be easier."

"I suppose so. But we have a decision to make. Do you want me to tell our family doctor that you're not the father on that first meeting or do you want to wait and surprise her when she sees the baby?"

"Let's be up front. It's a great way to practise whatever form of words you prefer for the future?"

"Why do you want me to say it?"

"First, you are a better communicator. But also, I don't want to speak for you about our sex life. I am happy for you to speak on my behalf if you want though. You decide everything about our sex life and that makes me happy."

* * *

"Isn't she beautiful, Len?"

The midwife had just handed Inês our daughter. We were both grinning like loons, although Inês was a much more tired loon than me.

"She looks just like Amadeu, doesn't she?"

"She does. She has his nose."

The midwife, to her credit, did not bat an eye.

And when we got home we found that the antipathy we'd thought about just wasn't visible. A couple we are friendly with invited us over for afternoon tea. They wanted to know how we managed cuckolding in our relationship. They were considering including it theirs.

And even when we were out and about, people were very nice. In fact, one slightly drunk man pulled me aside when I was waiting outside a shop and guarding the pram. He leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"Well done mate! I wish my wife had cuckolded me when we were young. You're a very lucky man." Then, he wandered off and went on with his weekend shopping.

Is it just that this is the 2020s and people have grown up? Or is it that Scotland can be a pretty friendly place? We don't know but we like it.