All Comments on 'Cammi, Don and Candi Ch. 01-02'

HOPE THERE IS MORE COME OF THIS WONDERFUL STORY, PLEASE...! BETTY jo xoxo

I love the whole idea of this young guy being feminised by the bratty girl. At times though you seem to forget which character is the writer. This makes the story a bit hard to read. I won’t let it stop me reading the rest of the story though. Thanks for writing it, you need to find an editor to sort out those bits.

I really enjoyed the story, but it's a bit difficult to read. One of the biggest mistakes many writers make is to write in the 2nd Person, you this, you that. 3rd Person is usually the best, in my opinion, he this, she that. 1st Person is okay, too, I this, I that.

But trying to imagine that I'm the person being addressed, especially as I am a woman, makes it so much harder to process.

But I still liked the story! Five stars!