Can They Dance to a New Tune?

Now with the evidence of the adultery and the revealing dancing outfits, I had my fears confirmed so I was only focussed on a divorce. With my knowledge, I had a good reason so wouldn't look weak to others. I ignored others like Bill, Dan and Keith who were shocked as they saw how much she loved me. They would never have thought she'd cheat on me.

I'd built a hole for me and was only waiting for it to be filled in on top of me. If I could see my worth, perhaps I could see a way forward. The feeling of being lost, adrift was because I ignored my own abilities. Others saw me as being a good guy, confident, humorous, caring. I didn't. If I could connect to a more confident me, I'd be able to build a stable platform on which to base my decision.

I left with her last question on a loop in my head. "Do you love Janet?" I'd argued, I couldn't but she pointed at my anger, my inability to focus on my life. I used my work, anything not to look at my personal life. If I did, it didn't say you'll stay together but gives you that as an option, if other things I needed were present. I didn't know what she was saying and she said, "You described yourself as emotionless yet that is not true. You feel lost, in a void as you don't recognise the emotions coursing through you. Until you know within yourself your true feelings, not the anger, the despair you're ignoring now, you won't find any mooring points to base your decision. If you do, those will guide you. If you've lost all love for her, the clarity will guide your actions."

I left totally confused.

When I arrived home Janet was in her running gear. It really highlighted her superb body. She looked sadly at me, "It looks like your session was as bad as mine yesterday. I was complaining to my friend about the boxes of tissues I was going through and she laughed. It may get worse before it starts to get better. Elizabeth has revealed how I started to withdraw from you long before I made the decision about the dancing. I had thought we were good but she showed how I distanced myself from you over a number of things. I almost emptied two boxes last night. Most about her last question, "If I loved you why did I exclude you?" I couldn't find an answer. I still can't.

"She did some calming techniques to help over the events of the last few days. She suggested getting out of the house and doing something. I haven't run in a long time, I'm going to do that. Hopefully, it will help me get my head on straight.

"If you need any answers, just ask. I'll tell you the truth."

I spent the evening lost in my thoughts. I'd like to say I saw some clarity but I didn't. I was still as adrift.

At work I had to occasionally work with Ernie on the new project for Davidson's. We did it as professionally as we could. He always left it open to me to speak about Janet and him. He ended each session with "Please give her and yourself a chance."

It was just over two weeks later, on the Wednesday, he didn't give me an option for lunch. Once we had our meal, he spoke softly, "David, thank you for not contacting Sadie and venting to her. We are in a poor place in comparison to where we were. I'm trying not to be focussed on her throwing me out. If she does, I know I deserve it.

"As I've said repeatedly, I hope Janet and you can find a way through this. I hate to see you like this and I know it's my fault. Everyone in the office can see you are not yourself. Bill said you had resigned. Your report on Davidson's is excellent. If you can find a way to stay, you'll take over as the lead person. I've only told them, you were finishing other projects which is why you haven't been involved in our video calls. If necessary, I'll say you were headhunted by another firm which wouldn't seem out of place.

"Janet and I had wondered before we came home, if either Sadie or you would wish to meet the other on your own or if we should speak as a group. Neither of us knew the answer. Neither option would probably be seen as good by either of you.

"The reason I asked you out for lunch today is I received a call this morning. Because of it, I need to speak with Janet. I don't want to do that behind your back. We're in this position because we weren't honest. Had we been nothing like what happened would have.

"This phone call came out of the blue. If Janet says no it ends there. If she thinks it is possible, I think a meeting between all four of us will be necessary. If you say not to contact Janet, I won't. I don't want to tell you the details just now as it would put you in an incredibly difficult position given your love for her. You can deny it bit it's still within you. She will tell you as I'll tell Sadie. I spoke with Sadie earlier about potentially speaking with Janet and she's agreed I could. She's not too happy as you can imagine."

I was looking at him throughout. He was nervous but I saw no subterfuge. He was being honest.

I said quietly, "I couldn't have stopped you had you just gone ahead. You've understood how difficult that would have been for me if I found out. Speak with Janet and depending on what she says, what Sadie says, we'll come to a decision."

His relief was off the scale.

We returned to work and finished our meeting. I don't want to say it but Bill was right. Ernie's areas of expertise dovetailed well with mine. He showed me better ways to achieve what I had thought to implement. Overall, he had made slight changes which would lead to significant improvements.

Janet was home when I arrived. I could tell she was nervous, extremely nervous as she didn't stop walking around through to the kitchen and back. Another example was the meal. It was one of my favourites, a Chinese chicken, black pudding, chilli and garlic curry. I only had it on a Friday or Saturday in deference to my work colleagues as the air could be extremely toxic the next day!

Once we had cleaned up she spoke. Her nerves caused her voice to strain, "David, Ernie called me. He explained he'd asked for your approval first. Thank you. What he said was mind blowing. I've gone from such highs to such lows as I think about it. Had we been better people and spoken with you both, this would not be seen as what it probably will be.

"There are two parts to this. One is the phone call he got and the other is what we decided must happen if the answer to that is to be a yes. Please let me explain both.

"The production company for the dance events called Ernie. One couple have had an accident. They will be unable to dance at the final in just over six weeks' time. The judges had Ernie and I pencilled in as potential finalists. Ernie had explained our withdrawal as I had food poisoning. They wish us to consider competing in the final. We have until Friday to answer.

"Be in no doubt if Sadie or you say no, the answer will be no. Neither Ernie nor I will blame either of you for that decision. We couldn't do this without your approval.

"If you both said yes, Ernie and I looked at what we would need to do to be able to realistically compete. We would need to practice almost nightly. As it will be held in Manchester, we have the travel, hotel, etc. Both Sadie and you should be at each practice and definitely at the final.

"I didn't say and he didn't say either but we both knew what caused our evening to go beyond what we had ever set out to be. If I'm so high after the final, I only want to make love to you. I know you'll throw me into a cold shower rather than that but I don't want anyone else with me. He only wants Sadie by his side.

"It's asking an awful lot from both of you. If you wish to speak with Sadie, to find out how she is feeling about this, do so. If you want us all to meet up so you can gather more information, we'll do that.

"I'm sure I could have phrased all this better. What would have been a dream is now a nightmare. I want to do it but not if it destroys what little remaining hope I have that we can save our marriage."

I was stunned. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. If I say yes, what openings would I give them. If I said no, her dream would be crushed and I would be the one responsible.

I was saved from an immediate answer as the phone went. Janet answered. She handed it to me, "It's Sadie."

I answered quietly, "Hello Sadie. Are you in shock like me?"

Sadie was as her voice showed. There was some anger as well, "At least Ernie considered me before calling Janet. They have obviously gone out of their way to make sure we see everything so there is no sense of anything untoward between them going on. We'll be there so we can see there is no love between them other than the love of dancing.

"I don't know what to say. It's his dream. I knew he loved dancing and had been good but never at this level. When he did mention it he said he never won the big prizes as there was one girl who was so outstanding she'd make anyone look good. It was Janet.

"If they had been upfront with this I would have said yes. I'd have loved to see him achieve a dream. I'm sure you would have been for Janet. I see his excitement and then his fear I'll say no. If I do, I'll crush his dream. Will he be able to forgive me? He says he will but it will be difficult. With both of us hurting due to the actions of the other, I don't think we can survive long."

She appeared close to tears as she continued, "I bumped into Becky. She was mortified to find out they had fucked. They hadn't gone that weekend due to a family event. It was the only time they were on their own. Diane, Janet and she shared a room. She showed me some video she had taken of them dancing. They were good at the easter party but those dances were truly outstanding. They would have a chance if they practiced.

"Ernie's been so apologetic and down. He said it happened once, the one-night Becky and Diane weren't there. They were so high having won, drank too much and they lost control. I believe him. His remorse isn't faked.

"What are your thoughts?"

I answered quietly, "I'm similar. Rock and hard place. At least they are considering us this time. Maybe I need to see the video to see if they are any good."

Sadie laughed, "I'll email it to you. Becky copied it to me. The third dance, you may need someone to help rearrange your anatomy! It's so bloody hot." She shocked us all when she continued, "I'd have fucked him as he came off the dancefloor."

I laughed, "By the time I'd get all Janet's clothes off her, it would be the next day before we fucked."

Sadie laughed, "Enjoy the video. Call back. If you want we could meet up in an hour at the dirty duck for a drink and to come to a decision."

I agreed that would be good.

Janet was blushing after Sadie's call. I opened the email when it arrived. Before I started it, Janet said, "If it's the video I think it is, there will be five dances. The first three are modern, Rhumba, Cha-Cha-Cha and Tango. The Tango will challenge all your perceptions of me and reinforce your feelings I don't love you. I'll give you any sexual release you want, even over the arm of the settee. The last two are dances of love so the facial expressions must match. It's an act."

I pressed play. Janet stood behind me occasionally muttering, "my arm position is wrong, my right foot didn't lift enough." She was overly critical of herself. Each dance was hotter than the previous. The Tango was exceedingly hot. My mind played it as though I could see fleeting glimpses of her breasts and pussy even if almost impossible with the outfit. For the first time since I found that Clear Blue, I had an erection. I don't think I have ever been as hard! I was breathing as hard as they were and I was sitting. I felt the heat. The audience had gone berserk at the end.

Ernie and Janet were shocked at the response. "Wow! That was something else."

Janet smiled, "We were shocked. It was the perfect Tango." She added sadly, "The only thing missing was Sadie and you being there to enjoy it. Do you want any help with that?"

I shook my head. She understood. The waltz and quickstep were like military precision, the way they moved as one. During the dance you could have sworn they were lovers but when they ended, they reverted to themselves. There was admiration but no love or lust.

I turned to her. I spoke softly, "I don't know what to say. Those were flawless to my eye. You complement each other so well. I knew you were good when I saw you dance with Ernie at the easter party but those were awesome. That Tango gave me the first erection since that Friday.

"If we're meeting them we'd better set off, it's a ten-minute walk."

We arrived a few minutes after them. Ernie got the drinks. As you can imagine we were all nervous.

Janet spoke softly, "Sadie, I can't say how much I regret what has happened. This was only about the dancing and never did either of us envisage what transpired. Our gross stupidity in not telling you both. Both of us love our partners so much and know there will never be anyone else for us. We know how much we have hurt you both. If I could I'd take both of your pain. I'm the one who deserves it. I am so deeply ashamed of myself. I betrayed our friendship."

Sadie spoke quietly, "Ernie has said the same, it was never thought off. I see and hear his remorse. It doesn't help seeing him hurting as well as me. My mind is everywhere. And now this.

"When I saw you both dancing at the party, I saw two people in total control, unlike David or me. I still didn't twig you were that Janet.

"Had I not seen Becky's video, I would have said no. It was too soon. I haven't found a way to express my feelings, whether or not we can get through this, build a better marriage. Ernie had spoken of his passion for dancing as a youngster. His parents said he was very good, held back by his partner. Ernie said he could have won a lot more if it wasn't for a girl called Janet. He spoke about her talent so eloquently. He was in awe of her.

"When you came to our house and he introduced David and you, he never said you were that Janet. The times we have met up, he behaved, as you did, like we'd expect. You were friendly, no more. The dances on the video especially the Tango were hot. The waltzes I saw the love between you but as soon as the dance finished, you were like normal. It was part of the fantasy only.

"Ernie has spoken about how you managed to rehearse. My shifts at the hospital made it easier for him. He said you often arrived worried as David and you were rowing over your time "at work." Certainly, that video showed your abilities well so the practice was worth it from that perspective.

"If you were to compete as they have requested, what will you have to do to prepare?"

Janet and Ernie looked at each other. Janet spoke, "If we just went along to make up the numbers, a couple of hours two or three times a week. If we want to compete for the second level, that would be five times at least. If we want to get to the first level and potentially dance for the top spot, we're talking three, possibly four hours each night, Saturday and Sunday.

"As we progressed in the competition, we spoke about what we'd need to be in with a chance of winning. We have a number of routines but we wanted more. Something new musically as some dances don't have much variation as they use the same music. I know David has an excellent ear for music and has a wide eclectic knowledge so I was hoping he would help us look for the music. Ernie said you have such empathy with music, you'd be brilliant as well. It is an area I'm appalling at.

"With new music, we'd have to vary or learn new routines as we'd have to choreograph each dance and find appropriate music."

I asked, "If you were successful, where will that lead for you in the future?"

Janet blushed. Ernie spoke firmly, "This competition was to be a one off. It was only about fulfilling our childhood dreams. We never expected to get beyond the opening round. To have the potential place in the final is our dream. It would be our last competition.

"Like the two of you Sadie and I had been talking about children. Janet was adamant afterwards she wanted your children. Ideally, what we would have liked is the two of you to join us at local events. We'd keep our hobby and maybe encourage our children to dance in the future.

"We thought our opportunity had gone. The call just exposed how fucking stupid we were. With all this, I discovered I'd lied to myself. I think Janet may have been the same. It makes it sound even dumber now. I wasn't thinking about you being embarrassed which is what we said out loud to each other. I was scared I'd embarrass myself. We're older, not so supple, we could suck. We kept to our lie rather than be exposed as liars as we explained ourselves to you. Because of it, both our marriages are at serious risk. I'll never love anyone the way I love Sadie. I know Janet speaks about her love for you in the same way.

"We screwed up fucking big time yet here we are asking your permission to allow us to have our dream when we just gave you your worst nightmare.

"We will abide by your decision."

Sadie and I looked at each other.

Janet spoke, "I know David will divorce me. Asking for him to help us for six weeks to get through to the final play off dances and potentially win is asking a fucking great deal. Far more than I deserve. Ernie was honest in what our future plans were. I'll never have children now because of my mistakes.

"When Ernie called, I told him I didn't wish to go ahead with the competition as I'd ruined everything. Without David's support, I couldn't do it. Why would he wish to support me? I've broken his heart. Ernie felt much the same about you.

"I was crying as I told Ernie how shocked David would be to see me dressed for the dances. He's never seen me in anything which he would truly like to see me in. It would reinforce his perception that I'm two people, one capable of cheating on him at any time.

"We didn't speak for a few minutes until I blurted out, "It's our dream. We could have won it had we been upfront and asked for their help."

"We both spoke about our dreams. Ernie had always wanted a partner like me as he thought I would make him better. Ernie is as good as my partner who's now professional. If anything, he's better as he cares about us, James wanted himself to be the star.

"We didn't decide then. I agonised over it, going back and forth. This would be the only opportunity to fulfil my dream, his dream. I called back over an hour later. The only way I would consider this was if we had both of you give us your full backing. You'd need to know everything. Ernie agreed and read me what he had written down to speak about if I phoned to say, let's ask you. It was almost word for word.

"David watched the dances Becky recorded. At the beginning, I could see his face asking, "Who's she?" In the three modern dances I am an entirely different person from the woman he knows, dowdy, frumpy, midi dresses and skirts. I won't mention what he thinks of my underwear.

"When I came home after it all came out, David had added two and two to make five. He made it seem I never told him as Ernie and I wanted to fuck. He'd found some dance costumes of mine with appropriate lingerie. I had to make him listen to me as I told him the truth. I blushed when I showed him my outfits, even more as I handled the lingerie. Lingerie he's never seen me wearing despite suggesting I'd look gorgeous in it.

"I'm seeing a counsellor to help me cope with what I have done. It's early days and even now, I can see how I was already breaking our marriage. It was through her, I found that it was my fear of being embarrassed which dictated I didn't tell David. I projected my fears onto David to make him the scapegoat. She asked my hopes and my main one was to be that person like I was as a dancer for him. I know it's a forlorn hope. I should have done that before we were married.