Can They Dance to a New Tune?

For those who follow Ballroom Dancing, this story is fiction. It does not attempt to represent a true ballroom competition. It is a vehicle to explore a relationship in which communication has been poor. As a result, decisions, assumptions were made which led to the marriage being in extreme peril. Divorce seemed the only option so why was it delayed?

This will not suit BTB or those who feel insecure in their identity.

Life is seldom a level experience. We all experience ups and downs. Mostly they are within reasonable limits so we can just get on with our daily routines. Sometimes something happens which makes you look seriously at your daily routine, what your life has become.

In my case it was taking the rubbish bin out. It was early on a bitterly cold morning, still dark as I collected the last of the rubbish from the kitchen. I took it out to the large bin for me to take it to the kerb for collection. As I was about to put the plastic bag into the bin, I lost my footing on some ice I hadn't seen. I went sprawling, throwing the bag away as I tried to stop myself landing badly on the patio. The bag struck the harled wall and ripped apart. Much of the contents broke free and landed beside me. As I gathered the contents together, I found something I had never expected to see. It was a Clear Blue pregnancy test. Why would my wife Janet need that?

My heart was pounding. Was it from the fall, which did bloody hurt or the shock of the test?

I placed all the rubbish in the bin and dragged it to the kerb. The Clear Blue I retained. Once in my car, I saw it was positive.

Let me explain my shock. I'm David, 26 years old, kind of average. I work for a services company providing everything from accountancy, computer systems and general business assistance to companies which are growing and need help with back-office functions until they have grown enough to be able to afford to employ those employees.

Janet is a computer specialist. She works for a firm who provide solutions to companies which can be simple to seriously complicated. She is 26, quite lovely, slim with an amazing toned body. Her breasts are spectacular with volcanoes posing as nipples. She dresses down rather than accent her beauty.

We met at university and have been married for three years. We were the envy of many of our friends as the love we had for each other shone positively. We laughed, touched, kissed all the time. Or we had! We have no children but until recently they had been talked about positively.

For the last four months our relationship has been going downhill. It started with another row over her late nights from work. Each time we spoke, it just became an argument. We stopped doing much, if anything, together. Oh, we do still sleep in the same bed but we haven't had sex since that row.

Hence, why the need for a pregnancy test?

I have tried to instigate a few talks about where we were headed but she just brushed my concerns aside. Her attitude was not what I had ever expected to see from her. She didn't quite dismiss my concerns but it was close. Now, as I looked back, I saw the signs I had ignored as this was something I never expected to happen.

Just over three months ago, she started going away for weekends with her friends, Becky and Diane. Today would be the fourth such weekend. She had left earlier that morning to go to her work so she could leave early. They were catching a train at 4pm heading to Glasgow for a shopping weekend.

Or were they?

I worked through my lunch and made my way to the station. I found a spot where I would be hidden from view. At 3.45pm Janet arrived. Not with Becky or Diane but with a colleague of mine, Ernie Goldie. I took a few pictures of them kissing lightly before I headed home. I still had a feeling of disbelief even with what my eyes were seeing and that pregnancy test. My mind didn't seem to have any connections which worked. My only thought was, "Why didn't you challenge them?"

The cause behind the last few months was now clear. I would not allow things to continue as they were. There would be some considerable changes.

Once home, I went through the house looking in all the places where she may have hidden any evidence of her adultery. I found a suitcase in the loft with very revealing dresses and lingerie. She had decried me when I had suggested she dress to flatter herself, not be so dowdy. I was a misogynist and worse for suggesting this. I photographed those.

If anything, this discovery emptied me of any feelings. I felt it was such a slap in my face. She could wear revealing stuff for someone else but not for me! How little did she actually care about me? I had no sense of anger, no sadness about what I had lost. I felt a void deep inside me. I was so tired.

After I had eaten, I sat at our computer. It wasn't a surprise when I found she'd changed her codes. The password document hadn't been updated either.

I went through all my passwords and updated every one. I went through our bank accounts, credit card statements. There were several payments to hotels and others which were related. I cancelled the joint cards.

I went to the divorce laws and downloaded the forms. I knew Goldie's home address as we'd been invited to a party there. His wife Sadie will be terribly upset, I'd imagine. I had thought he was as deeply in love with her as I was with Janet. I'd never have expected either to have an affair. I would not class him as a friend more a work acquaintance. We did cross on some projects but have never worked together as such. He wasn't someone I had ever confided in or viewed as a close colleague.

Once I had completed that task, I looked around to see what else I needed to do. Well, I wasn't going to be sleeping with the whore! I moved all my clothing into the spare room.

I would need a valuation of the house. She could buy my share out or we sell it. I looked at job opportunities as I wasn't staying here. This was her hometown. I sent my CV to several firms from where I come from. I prepared my resignation letter.

I spent a very disturbed night. I did some maintenance work around the garden in the morning. All the time my mind wouldn't settle. What would I have wanted others to do if they had found out about her affair?

I walked round to Becky's house. Her husband Dan invited me in. He was happy, "Are you at a loose end with the girls away?"

I laughed before I looked at him as I said firmly, "I don't know who Becky is with but I do know who Janet is with. She's also pregnant to him. I suppose as Becky's not here, she was covering for Janet. I don't know Diane so well!"

Dan was shocked, "What the fuck are you implying?"

I took out my phone, "This is them going away yesterday. Becky, Diane there?"

Dan sat down. He said nothing for a few minutes. He got up and went to the table and took his phone off it. He called Becky, "Hi Becky, who are you with?"

He had it on speakerphone, "I'm with Diane and Janet."

Dan laughed, "Really. David is here. He has a photo of Janet with Goldie. She's fucking pregnant to him! So, who the fuck are you with?"

There was silence, "Becky who the fuck are you with? If it's a fucking man, don't come home!" He angrily cancelled the call.

Dan was mad, "Come on, I know Diane's home."

Keith was surprised to see us and fucking furious with what I told him. He called Diane, "Diane, who are you with?"

Diane answered nervously, "I'm with Becky." Becky spoke quietly, "We're together. There are no men with us."

Keith shouted, "Why the fuck did you go along with this? David doesn't deserve to be treated like this. How the fuck can we trust any of you again!"

He rang off.

He looked at me, "David if I'd had any idea I would have told you. Diane will be grilled when she is back. I'll let you know everything. What do you intend to do?"

I shrugged, "The only thing I can. Divorce the whore! Goldie's wife will be told as well."

Dan and I both went home. We didn't speak. So much damage had been done to all the marriages. Trust had been seriously broken. While I reasoned, they'd need to know if their wives were fucking around as well, I hated bringing such pain to them.

I printed off the divorce forms, signed them. I laid them, the Clear Blue and my wedding ring on the table for Janet. I had half expected my phone to go as I'm sure Becky and Diane will have told her that her affair was now known.

I sat in my chair, a nice dram of Scapa malt in my hand. My heart was still beating far faster than normal after visiting the others. I was sorry for what I had caused.

I looked back over my time with Janet. I could see a divide start about ten months ago. It was around the time of my firm's easter party. Goldie had been doing his usual taking others' partners up to dance to show off. He's a skilled dancer. I've two left feet! Was this when they began their affair. Our lovemaking had slowed down afterwards and even before we stopped it had become more routine than spontaneous. Probably as we were arguing so much.

I spent Sunday morning sorting out my garage. I had needed to anyway but now I would be moving soon. I followed that by scanning all my documents to my cloud storage. I placed the physical copies into a file box which I kept in my bedroom.

I checked all the finances. I transferred money from our shared accounts according to the suggested settlements on the divorce site. I added the amount she had spent on hotels when away with her friends.

I wrote a letter to Goldie's wife with the dates Janet had been away with "her friends." I enclosed copies of my photos of them kissing. She could take any action she wished if those dates coincided with him being away with friends.

As Janet wasn't due back till around 7pm, I headed out to grab a meal. I wasn't going to cook for her. She could see to herself.

Her car was in the drive when I arrived back.

She was sitting at the table. She didn't appear upset or even troubled in any way with the divorce papers. Later, I felt she seemed resigned to her fate.

She spoke quietly, "Did you have to involve Becky and Diane's husbands? They're in the fucking shit. They don't believe they weren't fucking around. I persuaded them to cover for me. Our troubles didn't have to be theirs."

I laughed. My voice was cold, "They fucking knew you were fucking around on me. They're not friends to me. They're snakes. They've screwed up their marriages as there can be no trust. You can vouch for them but who will believe you, believe them.

"I've tried speaking with you but I was brushed aside. I see why now. All you needed to say was you wanted out of the marriage. Did you tell him he's got you pregnant? Is he going to be handing out cigars on Monday at work?"

Janet looked at me, her voice flat as she said quietly, "I haven't told anyone. When Becky and Diane called me, they were shouting you knew I was with him and pregnant. Becky and Diane never knew we had slept together. It only happened once. Ernie was shocked. I told him you were shouting out in anger, your nightmare!

"We've spent the last day going over what we wanted and what we thought would happen. The most I could hope for was a civil divorce. I didn't want to have one where we were at each other's throats. I know you won't accept my request for counselling. If you did I'd want one who did sex therapy as well as I needed to be more adventurous as you requested but only between us.

"Ernie said you loved me like he loves Sadie. Perhaps I could persuade you to give me a chance. He would have to beg Sadie to give him one but he'd do what he needed to do if he could save his marriage. He's going to tell her tonight." She had to wipe tears away from her eyes.

She continued sadly, "I know you. I told him divorce will be the only thought you will have. I won't contest it. It wouldn't be my wish but you'll never accept I do love you deeply. I made so many mistakes. I've treated you so badly due to the conflict within me as my conscience was giving me hell about how I excluded you from what I was doing with Ernie.

"I saw how you viewed our relationship. I knew you were looking at what had gone wrong, where we were headed. It just added to the conflict within me. I needed to tell you yet I couldn't face your anger when I did. I restricted what I did with you as I didn't deserve any happiness with you as I was lying to you. I never instigated sex or truly engaged with it like before, even before I ended our sex life.

"I told him you would have your resignation already printed. You'd go home. You'd only come here because I asked you to. You gave up your family and friends for me and I repaid you like this.

"It was never meant to be an affair. We had sex once which was once too many. I'll tell you everything you wish to know."

I looked at her as I said sadly, almost devoid of emotion, "I don't want to know anything. I knew we were struggling though I never expected this. I thought you'd be upfront and say, "it's time for us to move on." I'd reached that point as well so while finding the Clear Blue was a shock, I was able to be slightly more pragmatic rather than fucking furious. But that was only when I had calmed enough to view it more dispassionately. When I was able to think more clearly, I appreciated you had moved on already."

There was certainly more anger as I continued, "The final nail in the coffin was finding your stash of revealing clothes and lingerie. I was a sexist pig for suggesting you'd look gorgeous in stuff like that. It was just another kick in the balls. Another statement of your disdain for me."

Janet looked shocked. She almost screamed, "David, you have this so wrong! You've put what you know and made a story which fits it perfectly. But it's wrong, fucking wrong. I need to tell you everything so you'll understand that I have never stopped loving you. I made so many mistakes. Becky and Diane told me to tell you at the beginning. They'll tell you the same."

She looked seriously at me, her resolve evident, "Do you want a drink before I start? I'll need to get my suitcase. It may take a while to tell you everything so I'll go to the toilet first."

We settled in the living room. Janet opened the suitcase and laid out the outfits along with the appropriate lingerie. She was blushing as she handled some of those.

She looked at me, her voice conveyed her sadness, "David, I know some part of you will say what I'm about to say has been made up to try and make me look better than I should. It hasn't. Everything is the truth. The only one at fault is me.

"If you can cast your mind back to when we first began courting. We did so many things together, explored each other's hobbies, interests. We learned much about each other. Even more recently we were still learning.

"When I introduced you to my mum and dad, you captivated them. When I tell them about us splitting up and why, they'll disown me. It was embarrassing for me as they went on about how I'd been as a child. How I won so many medals for dancing. I stopped them giving you my whole history. I keep thinking if only I hadn't, we wouldn't be where we are. You would have realised how important ballroom dancing was to me.

"It will be a surprise for you to know, I was a national champion with my partner in three age groups. I could bring any dance to life from a Waltz to a Tango. I had offers to go professional. I could have been on Strictly. You read as I watch it so you don't see me dreaming of dancing like them.

"The only cloud, at that time, on our relationship is that you have two left feet. Whenever we danced, my feet, no ones' feet were safe. We were both so busy studying, we didn't have time for formal dances so clubs covered my hurt at losing one of my favourite experiences. I loved you so much I thought I could cope without it.

"I persuaded you to have lessons under the pretext of having to dance in front of everyone at our wedding. We learned you don't have the coordination to be a ballroom dancer. On our wedding day, we managed a simple waltz. I was happy because I was with you. They saw my eyes showing my total love for you. In truth, I did miss showing everyone how amazing I could have danced if you were able to be even moderately disciplined in your movements.

"With both of us learning about working life and ourselves, we didn't have as much time to look at dancing afterwards. We had new friends, colleagues. We had nights out. A club dancefloor managed to cope with you. If we danced close, I put my feet on top of yours to protect them. You suggested charging me like a taxi!

"At your firm's easter party, I danced with Ernie. I knew him a little beforehand as he had danced as well. He had a different partner and did well in regional contests. His wife Sadie is like you as far as dancing skills. He loves her like I love you which is why what we did is causing so much pain. To us as well as both of you. I'm the cause of it and I can't take your pain from you. I've been so distraught since that night I've taken it out on you. I can't look in a mirror without seeing how much I loathe myself for what I have caused between us and between them. Sadie, like you doesn't deserve this.

"At that party, how I loved dancing hit me like a tsunami. Ernie felt the same. It was part of us, an important part we had both neglected.

"We were invited to their anniversary party. Ernie and I spoke about dancing."

She looked directly into my eyes, "Dancing, not fucking! We know we should have told you both. We spoke about it but hid the reason from ourselves for not telling you both. There were several amateur evenings around. We started preparing to dance. Those evenings you were concerned about me working late were us practising.

"It was so exhilarating just dancing at first. We'd done three or four when a competitive event came around and we entered just for fun. We did quite well.. I was raving about it to Becky at work. She asked if you got the benefit. I told her I hadn't told you about the dancing so you weren't there. I didn't want to embarrass you. Ernie didn't tell Sadie for the same reason. Becky told me to tell you. If I didn't, you'd only see one reason. She's been proved right.

"She and Diane came along to several of the dance events. They enjoyed it and saw there was nothing romantic between Ernie and me. Both told me to tell you repeatedly. My conscience agreed but I couldn't face your reaction. You'd jump to the wrong conclusion. We'd fight and we'd been doing so much of that. My conscience was saying he knows you're being evasive. He fears where the marriage is going. Be truthful."

She went to the costumes, "I know how this looks to you. The amount of flesh apparently on view. I couldn't use fake tan as you would have spotted that. I used a full body stocking." She picked several up in different colours. "These are dresses for the Cha-Cha-Cha, Rhumba, Tango, Jive and Freestyle. The ballroom waltz, Paso Doble, Quickstep dresses are in a storage unit as they are so big. I couldn't have hidden them from you.

"I can't tell you about the next part without hurting you more but I need to explain. The suspenders and stockings I wore were above the bodystocking. Due to the nature of the panties and dresses, I had to have my pussy waxed bare.

"I had decried you when you asked me to wear stockings, to wear dresses which showed not hid my breasts, even legs. Yet here I was displaying so much, even if covered by nylon. You'd hinted at me being bare. I refused and left you with a new name. It's one of the reasons I never told you because I saw the hypocrite in me.

"My conscience was yelling at me to tell you, explain and be more daring for you. Why could I do it in front of others yet not in front of you? I denied you and I that pleasure when I should have embraced it.