Can We Be Saved

I went and hugged her, "Dorothy, we both missed opportunities to speak properly to each other. Sarah can help us. We did know it would be painful."

Sarah was smiling. When Dorothy had recovered, I sat down.

Sarah asked, "What has changed in those last six months between you, in you?"

I answered quickly, "I'm not an overweight couch potato. Belinda had Ian work me hard at the gym. He showed me the results. My health is so much better. Blood pressure way down, body mass good, cardio very good, lungs good. He's happy with me but will still torture me as Belinda makes sure he does it. Both my physical and mental health are better even allowing for the last three weeks."

Dorothy spoke softly, "I've been dieting and exercising. I've lost weight where I needed to. Jeremy's probably happy my breasts haven't changed though he hasn't been allowed near them for months. My mental health isn't good. I dwell on not having Jeremy's children. I'm so sad at the thought of not having them bounce on my knee. I see Jeremy almost broken as he cannot father our children. I spend a lot of time crying or being out doing something to take my mind off it.

"I see it was all needless now."

Sarah added to her notes. I saw the clock, our time was long up. She saw me looking. "You're my last couple today. I thought we'd need a longer session.

"Most of today has been positive but the next questions need honesty above all else. The answers will dictate how we go ahead. Lies may postpone the ending but they won't help repair anything.

"Dorothy, from Jeremy, I know what has caused him the most anger. What has caused you the most anger?"

Dorothy thought for a few minutes, "If I'm honest, I suppose it was when I learned I couldn't have Jeremy's children. My whole world blew up. I always saw us having children, playing, being grandparents. To learn that I could but Jeremy couldn't, caused me so much anger. My dreams were shattered.

"I think it was that night when he last tried to have sex with me. I tied him up and edged him for ages. I was saying all the right things, using some of the few fantasies we'd shared. I took him well beyond his normal tolerance as I was so angry at him. Why did he want to fuck me when he couldn't make me pregnant?

"That anger was always just below the surface but it wasn't until I saw his results, I realised what that feeling in me was. I just knew something was wrong and it was his fault.

"I suppose those feelings meant the counsellor was more able to overcome my resistance to cheating on him. To be the one in control!"

Sarah's face gave nothing away, "Dorothy, was there anything else fuelling the anger?"

Dorothy smiled, "It was the time of the big business deal. He was seldom home before 9pm, away by 7am. If I managed to delay him for a few minutes to speak, I could sense the underlying tone of exasperation. He didn't want to speak with me. All I got were platitudes. When this deal was over, we'd have time together, make up for what we had missed. I didn't believe him. There would always be a new deal to chase. I felt neglected, undervalued and alone. If I asked about any details of the deal, he shut me down. We had discussed his business all the time. I gave him suggestions which he sometimes took. I felt ostracised.

"I began to see Belinda as a competitor rather than what she is, a great PA. She knew more about Jeremy than I did, I thought. I started to work out, to make myself more attractive to him. I even looked at more sensual lingerie but when I did, wondered why I should? For him, he no longer valued me. I didn't buy any."

Sarah asked, "Are there any more anger issues for you?"

Dorothy looked sad, "He did make the effort he said he would. He came home more on time and tried to be engaged with me. I went out most nights but he seldom challenged me. It just emphasised to me, he had moved away from me. When I left the house, I was often in tears, he'd made no attempt to stop me.

"Until the Friday when we had the initial bust up, that's probably what was driving my anger towards him."

Sarah smiled, "I'm not going to address the last few weeks tonight. I don't want you to talk in any depth over it until we have discussed it. It does need to be addressed.

"There are a couple of big questions, I have to ask you. Have you had sexual relations with anyone other than Jeremy since you've been together, especially in recent months?"

Dorothy took a deep breath. She looked straight at me, "I haven't been with any man other than Jeremy. He took my virginity and he is still the only man to have touched my body, my private parts apart from medical examinations. Even then I try as much as possible to have female staff."

Sarah asked, "From Jeremy, he says you knew how he hates tattoos. Why did you have one, particularly, a saddle tramp one?"

Dorothy smiled. She stood up and turn around before dropping her skirt. She had on for her, small panties. There was no tattoo. There appeared to be a fading outline of one.

She turned to me, "I'm sorry, that was very cruel. I knew your feelings. Hell, the thought of those needles make me wince. The counsellor wanted me to up the pressure on you to accede to allowing me to be in charge. Yvonne found a henna tattoo which she said was infamous for saying "I fuck around." It needed to be Mike's phone to make you react but he was never in the room. Yvonne had me strip off. She made me wear her micro thong as my panties weren't suitable. She placed the tattoo on my back so the thong enhanced the look. She posed me. After she took the picture, she showed it to me. I was shocked at how much I was displaying but I understood it was needed to make you react, give me control. I knew the thought of Mike apparently seeing so much, me almost nude and the tattoo would drive you wild. We added the caption.

"After the week I had endured, I thought you deserved it. My subconscious was going you're fucking killing your marriage but I was so caught up in the moment, I didn't take a second to think before I pressed send. We removed the photo immediately. I made sure there were no copies like you showed me.

"I was just dressed when you replied. According to that counsellor, I should expect a mild why, not the fury which came back. When we opened the photographs and saw the divorce papers, I was beside myself. I'd fucked up my marriage. My brain and I finally connected as I realised the shite I had been doing. I cried for over an hour.

"When I came home, you were gone. I was truly alone.

"We've only spoken since on the day of the tests and today. After we spoke on Friday, I reread my texts and WhatsApp's. I saw my anger but no love. Not once did I apologise to you for what I did to us. I gave all the blame to you. I cried until I had no tears left.

"Jeremy I'm so sorry. I wish I had confided with Belinda not Susan and Yvonne. She would have sent us to the right clinic and to Sarah. None of this would have happened."

Sarah spoke softly, "Dorothy do you still see yourself as being the only one with control of your body? In control of Jeremy?"

Dorothy looked at Sarah, "No. I knew it was not what I wanted yet my anger allowed me to be persuaded. Jeremy told me you suggest equal partners, I'd like that. I'd like us to be able to talk like we did before."

Sarah asked, "Is there anything else you would add to your wish list?"

Dorothy blushed, "Jeremy mentioned a better sex life. I'd like that. I've stopped him trying things and afterwards I've rowed with myself. I've wanted more. On Friday, he told me how the nurse had helped him produce his specimen. I so wanted to be that woman for him."

Sarah smiled, "Sounds like there's a story there. I suggest we meet up twice a week to begin with. Initially, we'll concentrate on communication before we address your sexual relations. If you can speak clearly in a way the other understands, your sex life should improve.

"I think individual sessions as well until we have a stable base for each of you, consensus on what you both wish."

Dorothy asked softly, "You haven't asked Jeremy, he may not want to continue these sessions."

Sarah smiled warmly, "They are what he wanted. Over the next few weeks, you'll see how much he loves you and he'll see how much you love him. In the meantime, don't stress about the past, look forward."

Dorothy asked Sarah, "Can I ask Jeremy to come home? I'll sleep in the guest bedroom if he wishes. Can we have sex?"

Sarah smiled, "It is up to Jeremy if he wishes to return home. It is alright for him to take a few days to think about it and you to. Your emotions are everywhere. As for sex, if you do it must be freely given, you can't offer him it to salve your conscience. It must be because you want to make love with him."

Dorothy blushed like I have never seen her blush, "I don't. I want him to do to me what he fantasied about to make him cum three times in the clinic. When he told me, I could have torn my clothes off in the restaurant and had him fuck me there."

Sarah laughed. I was shocked, this was a Dorothy I had never seen.

Sarah asked quietly, "Have you been having more powerful erotic thoughts since everything blew up?"

Dorothy looked nervous, "I have. It's been mind blowing. I've always repressed my desires. I'm sorry Jeremy but when I was caressing Mike's cock, I saw your face, the control slipping, the anger but also jealousy. My mind went you punched him and lifted me up, put me over your knee and spanked me hard. I was screaming calling you names and as a result, you took my panties down to spank my bare bum. Everyone nearby saw my bare cunt. If you'd grabbed me instead of walking away, I would have raped you in the car. In our house had you grabbed me and thrown me on the bed, I would have done anything you asked.

"Each night, I waited for you to act. I thought of things to arouse you but I never did those. I should have and for the last fourteen years I should have. I need help to do those things you want.

"If Sarah can mend us, make us better, I'll make all this up to you for the rest of my life."

Sarah smiled, "Dorothy you aren't alone. The circumstances brought your desires to the surface. Whatever Jeremy fantasied about struck a chord with you. Being open about desires is necessary. As you repressed them for so long it seems overwhelming, almost out of control. I will help you get control of them. Jeremy will explore his desires with us.

"If Jeremy comes home, I suggest bland sex to begin with but use every room in the house. Think about a fantasy you would like to have happen to you, not the other, in each room. We'll maybe discuss some of those at the appropriate time.

"There will come a time when you desire that fuck from the clinic as you'll know you are ready. To soon, you may fail if it involved stuff you haven't done. Like when he took your virginity, you'll know the right time.

"We'll end there if there are no other questions. We've covered a lot of ground. I'm sure you will need to talk about many bits we covered. Do so but try and not judge, listen. It will take time to understand. With love you will succeed."

As we left, Dorothy asked, "Do you wish to come home? I can cook a meal or just drop me off."

I smiled, "A home cooked meal sounds lovely but I think we should go to a restaurant and let them cook. The session was very gruelling for me and I'm sure even worse for you."

We did have a lovely meal. At the end I spoke softly, "Dorothy, I'm not coming home tonight." Her eyes showed she was sad. "When I first saw Sarah, I spent the next few days wrestling with the thoughts she had brought out and how I reacted to what had happened. It was very emotional. I cried a lot. I think you need the space to do the same. I'll probably be doing the same.

"I think Sarah said the right thing we can focus on. Our love will get us through this if we take our time to heal, listen and learn. Mind you the only thought in my mind at the moment is you as my clinic fantasy!"

Dorothy laughed, "You're probably right. My emotions are everywhere but I do hope I can do that for you soon."

I dropped her off and went to the apartment. As I sat down, I felt drained. My cock was hard at the thought of Dorothy fulfilling my fantasy, so I had to repeat my clinic assignment.

I picked Dorothy up for the next session. She had been crying. She looked at me, "You were right. I did need that space to absorb all that had been said. I've been a wreck."

Sarah greeted us and asked, "How have you both been?"

I spoke softly, "I have found the last few days difficult. I saw the many opportunities to have a deep discussion with Dorothy, I had missed. I recognised I had ignored her body language. Her words hadn't resonated as they once did. I was so focussed on that deal, I cast her aside as she said.

"If I had been more loving Jeremy rather than business Jeremy, we could have avoided all of this.

I blushed badly, "Having said that, my mind has also dwelled on Dorothy wishing to be my clinic fantasy. It arouses me and gives me hope we can be better."

Sarah asked, "Dorothy?"

Dorothy was nervous. Her voice trembled. "Jeremy didn't come home but explained why. He was right. The last few days have been a rollercoaster. I see hope and a future but then I plunge into despair, everything has ended. I've cried more tears than I thought possible."

She looked concerned as she focused on Sarah and then at me, "I found I misled you. Sarah asked about my anger and I told you what fuelled it. It wasn't the whole truth.

"As I went through everything, my mind told me, I'd lied to you. Underneath my surface anger, if you like, I was at war with myself. My conscious and subconscious minds were in such conflict. I don't think I was truly aware of how much the battle fought with the counsellor was one which was also taking place within me. I do know, I never felt a moment of peace for months until we talked on Tuesday.

"Jeremy must have felt I had withdrawn from him as I was so short, constantly finding fault with him. I don't understand why I did that.

"I'm sorry I lied to you as I know only the truth can help us."

Sarah smiled, "Dorothy, you didn't lie. Tuesday we opened doors for you to examine yourself. Through that you found this. This battle shows that a big part of you wanted to do the right thing. Understanding that will help you as we go forward. This may happen on further occasions. Our conscious mind does not always know what we have hidden."

You could see the relief in Dorothy at Sarah's words.

I started softly, "Dorothy, as Sarah says you're not alone. I found that we started missing our usual close discussion far earlier. Throughout our time together, you have been the one trying to mend my mum and me. Your family is so close and loving, you want that for me. It must be a year ago, you brought up a holiday to Greece to take in all the mythological sites as I love old Greek myths. I was keen until you suggested taking my mother.

"She loves Greece, Sarah.

"You went on at me, it would give us a chance to rediscover a good relationship. I think it was then, I stopped listening so closely to you. The fracture began then, it just widened due to the other stuff later."

Sarah took notes, "You've mentioned your mum a few times, I think we shall speak more in our private sessions. You may feel you have control of your feelings surrounding her but you are hurting still.

"Your point is well made. Something you didn't see, caused a fracture, however small. Like frozen water in a crack, it expanded as your work, the clinic and the counsellor all worked on it."

The rest of the session dwelt solely on how we spoke with each other, what didn't we like hearing from the other and seeing in their reaction. We both came out feeling battered and bruised, heavily.

We went for a meal again. It was good. We spoke about other things. Dorothy shocked me as we were having coffee.

She said evenly, "Jeremy, I'm not asking you to come home yet. You were right about our emotions and I think today's session will knock me around for a few days. I'm seeing Sarah on Monday morning.

"I do and I hope you do, see, despite how she has cut us to the marrow at times, she's raised hope we can survive. Not as we were but as you said, changed for the better. I didn't know how some of the ways I talked to you sounded dismissive, especially when we talked around your family. I really need to look at that and your response.

"I do think she was right when she suggested we do things together, like this. In that context, I have a question and a request.

"The question is this. My pussy has reached the stage I need to book in for a waxing if I am to keep it bare. I know you loved running your fingers through my pubic hair but you have never experienced my bare pussy, to kiss, caress or fuck. When you described your clinic fantasy, you never said if I was bare or hair. Would you like to experience it bare? If you do I'll keep it bare until we have fucked a few times. You can say what you prefer after that. I'm open to either."

I stammered, "I hadn't really thought about. I suppose experiencing it first wouldn't do any harm. You may like being eaten, fucked or not, when you are bare. It would be a new experience for both of us.

"What's the request?"

She blushed, "I'd like you to go shopping with me. What I intend is for both of us. I think I know what you like but I want to have your opinion on what I propose to buy. Also, if I'm right, my cards won't cover it. If you think I'm wrong about what I intend or you don't think it worthwhile, you say and I won't buy anything."

"What is it?"

She smiled, "I'm not saying. A little mystery to heighten the experience for you. Also, think of a roleplay you would wish me to participate in with you."

This time it was me who was blushing.

As I pulled up in our driveway, she turned to me and kissed me. While restrained, I could feel the passion behind it.

She was really blushing as she spoke nervously, "If you wish to come in, I'll wash my pussy. You can eat me out and then fuck me on the settee. I really want to feel you in me and hold you in my arms as you fuck me."

I was shocked. Dorothy never instigated sex. She didn't like it being outside the bedroom. I was gathering my thoughts when she began unbuttoning her blouse. Anyone passing could see her.

She smiled as my eyes were held watching her fingers. "I wish I had a nicer bra on for you. Maybe you were thinking about a titty fuck in the car. I should have encouraged you when we were courting. We can court again and keep courting."

I was mesmerised. When she had all the buttons undone, she did that trick of removing her bra through her sleeves.

"Well, I see some part of you would like to play. It's your decision."

I cracked, "Inside!"

Dorothy smiled and ever so slowly, moved to the house. She didn't close her blouse. She made sure I saw her breasts at every opportunity as she unlocked the door.

As we entered, I saw her look wistfully at the corner of the hallway. She saw me and smiled, "Sarah's fantasy. Not for today. Go in the living room, I'll be a few minutes."

When she came back, she was naked. Her nipples were trying to join me and her areolas were already colouring. I could see how much more toned her body was. Her legs looked amazing. She was right, her breasts were still the same phenomenal ones they had ever been. She smiled but her eyes showed her nerves, "One fresh pussy for you to love."

She lay back on the settee, her legs wide open. "Do what you want. Please yourself. I just want to feel you in me, on me."

I moved between her legs. My hands were lightly caressing her inner thighs. I saw how aroused her pussy looked. She was so open to me, I could see her rosebud was bare as well.