Celebrity Sexfights Ch. 08

(This series is pure fantasy. Please enjoy it as such.)

Last month's clash between the stars of 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation didn't quite go as planned, when brooding brunette Aubrey Plaza suddenly quit, and prima donna blonde Jane Krakowski followed suit right behind her.

Lucky for us, their respective managers Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, filled the void with an entertaining, intense clothes ripping catfight that ended up with the comic actresses baring all. The surprise facesitting ending was the talk of the town, as the former SNL Weekend Update anchors showed a kinky side of themselves we'd never seen before.

Needless to say, interest in our erotic series was going through the roof. Several other celebrities looking for instant fame came calling, looking to get in on the rising popularity of Celebrity Sexfights.

With the enormous success we've had with the Milf angle, plenty of older, more mature stars wanted to be part of our new series that was sweeping the country.

Stars of the past that I grew up fantasizing about, wanted in on our racy competition: Heather Locklear, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jennifer Tilly, Crystal Bernard, and Sean Young were all in their 60s, yet were willing to show their sexual side, competing for another crack at the spotlight as well as the prize money, that was now almost half a million dollars.

Other entertainers like Jenna Elfman, Morena Baccarin, Chelsea Handler, Avril Lavigne, and Ariel Winter were willing to get into the ring, as were athletes Tonya Harding, Megan Rapinoe and Ronda Rousey.

I don't know who would be brave enough to step into the ring with Ronda, but I'm sure we could find someone.

We've also heard from quite a few of the money hungry contestants from Survivor. After seeing ex-castaways Jerri Manthey and Stephenie LaGrossawalk away with a hundred grand each, our phone has been ringing off the hook with former Survivor players looking to cash in. Parvati, Sugar, Colleen and NaOnka were just a few of more than twenty girls from the popular reality TV show that responded to our offer.

Luckily, with all the interest from different celebrities, popular or not, I don't have to beg anyone to be oart of our show. I'm the one who gets to decide who we take and who we don't.

There were several names that I couldn't believe were on the list. One was Kelly Ripa of daytime television. I've always been a big fan, and think she's cute as a button. Especially for someone in her fifties.

Apparently her good friend Amy Poehler suggested she try it. Amy, who did a hilarious impression of Kelly on Saturday Night Live, told her that her live sexfight with longtime friend Tina Fey, was the most exhilarating rush she's ever had as a performer.

If Kelly was interested, then so were we. I called her, giving my sales pitch, running several names past the perky talk show host. Actresses Kate Hudson and Rashida Jones and singers Avril Lavigne and Lisa Loeb were brought up, but the blonde chatterbox said no to all of them, telling me she had someone else in mind.

She had talked with recently retired cooking show host Rachael Ray, who thought a matchup with a food fight angle might go over pretty well. They both agreed to the possibility of appearing nude, but drew the line at any kind of sex act. Apparently they didn't know how we did things.

I was so eager to get Kelly on board, that I agreed to their terms, signing them up to do a sexy food fight. It was a different type of show, so we decided to go with a different setting. We were able to use the set of Rachael's cooking show, complete with a small studio audience, so we still had the live atmosphere.

Kelly came up with the idea that they would pretend to do a live cooking show, that would eventually get out of hand, turning into a sexy, wet and messy free for all.

Who was I to argue? I mean who hasn't had a fantasy of seeing their favorite star covered in linguini, whipped cream or some other slimy goo.

The day of the show I was nervous as hell, not knowing what to expect from our normally G-rated performers. They were dressed as if it were regular television. No bikinis like we usually have.

Kelly was wearing a short yellow floral print dress, and Rachael looked surprisingly hot in a short sleeve black blouse and gray mini skirt, showing off her thick white thighs.

Both of the women were bubbling with excitement, ready to have some fun. They didn't appear to be nervous at all. It looked like business as usual on the set of The Rachael Ray Show.

We began the show like any other, with an ovation from the audience, and an introduction from the chubby little host.

"Hello everybody and welcome to the final episode of The Rachael Ray Show. It's sad that we'll be leaving after seventeen wonderful years, but today we promise that we'll have some fun. You could say we saved the best for last."

The charismatic brunette paused for a second to give the audience a chance to cheer again.

"Kelly Ripa is here today!"

More applause from the overappreciative crowd.

"You all know the saying that to be the perfect wife, you have to be a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom? Well today, Kelly is going to help us combine the two, as we have some sexy fun with food."

Again, more applause as the energetic blonde walks onstage, waving to the crowd, joining Rachael behind the huge counter on their kitchen set.

"Welcome to the show, Kelly! Now first of all, do you believe the saying that you need to be a whore in the bedroom."

The talkative blonde waits a second to answer, as the crowd murmurs with a smattering of boos, voicing their displeasure with the saying.

"Absolutely not!" she answers emphatically, to a roar of applause from the audience.

"A slut yes, but a whore, no."

Rachael laughs at Kelly's response, flashing her pearly whites before moving on to a follow up question.

"How would you combine the two so that you're sexy in the kitchen? To me, it's two totally different things."

"Well for me, every now and then I like to do my cooking and food preparation in my undies!"

The crowd laughs at her surprising response and Rachael reacts with shock as well.

"Your underwear?! No way!"

"Yep! I like to call it my B & P special" Kelly states matter-of-factly, as if it were something on the menu.

Rachael had a puzzled look on her face, trying to follow along.

"B & P special?"

"That's right. Bra and panties! I feel a lot better about myself if I'm wearing something sexy."

The cute daytime host wasn't just teasing, she was ready to back it up as she came out from behind the kitchen counter, and started taking off her yellow flowered dress.

She reached back, unzipping it as the light dress fell over her shoulders and slowly slid down her body, where she crawled out of it, as the crowd cheered with approval.

Rachael couldn't believe what she was seeing. Grinning with a surprised look as her friend stood ther with her hands on her hips, showing off her tight little body clad in matching pink bra and panties.

"Oh my God! Kelly?! What are you doing?"

Kelly Ripa wasn't the least bit shy, and there was a good reason why. She had a very fit body, with the cutest little tushy. Quite a knockout for someone in their fifties. She was intent on finishing the show in her skimpy pink underwear.

"All right! Let's get cookin'!"

Rachael couldn't stop laughing. Kelly wasn't about to change her mind. The cute blonde showoff was happy to flaunt her hot bod.

The pudgy hostess went on with the show. The kitchen table was loaded with all sorts of goodies. A wide variety of fruits, vegetables, main dishes, side dishes, and desserts.

Pointing to vast array of food set out on the table, she asked Kelly if there were any certain foods that could be considered sexy. Ripa was more than happy to give her opinions.

"Of course there are the obvious choices" she offered, picking up a long green zucchini, gently caressing it.

"Am I right, ladies?"

Kelly looked over the rest of the table, making a few more jokes and comments.

"Oooh! Is that a coconut cream pie? My husband loves cream pies. Personally, I find them a little messy. If you know what I mean."

Rachael just shook her head, embarrassed by Kelly's subtle references to sex. She tried to offer some tips of her own.

"But whipped cream could be fun, couldn't it?" she said, pointing towards that and some of the other dessert condiments, like chocolate syrup and maraschino cherries.

"My My! Look at Miss Kinky over here!" Kelly teased, pandering to the audience.

"Do you like covering things with whipped cream and chocolate?"

Rachael could barely keep her composure, hiding her face, as she continued to giggle at her friend's sexual innuendoes. Ripa didn't let up, seizing the opportunity to make more jokes at the chuckling host's expense.

"I'll bet those titties taste great slathered in chocolate syrup! Or maybe you like adding the toppings to a little hairpie. I'm sure your hubby loves that!"

Rachael Ray was flabbergasted! She stood there speechless, with her mouth wide open, shocked that Kelly would dare mention something so personal, even if she was only joking.

Kelly ignored the brunette host's reaction, reaching for the jar of maraschino cherries. She picked one out by the stem and put it up to her mouth, slowly sucking on the tasty red fruit, before devouring it, and giving an unbelievable anecdote about it.

"Mark and I have had some fun with cherries. He would insert them in my butthole like anal beads. Chocolate covered cherries, so to speak."

"YOU DIDN'T!!"

I thought Rachael was going to lose it. She was at a rare loss for words, wowed by Kelly's fun with food suggestions.

Instead of validating her claims to Rachael, she scolded her for not being a gracious host, and joining her by doing the show in her bra and panties.

"C'mon Raytch! Why don't you get comfy and take your top off? Take your skirt off too, for that matter."

She turned to the audience for support.

"Don't you think Rachael should serve up a B & P special?"

Rachael backed away with her hands up, getting defensive about partaking in any undressing. She was still flashing a huge grin, even though a bit frightened by the prospect of joining Kelly in her underwear. The chubby chatterbox pleaded against the audience's wishes to see more of her.

"Aw, c'mon you guys! No!"

Unfortunately for her, Kelly wasn't about to take no for an answer. The skinny blonde walked up to Rachael, backing her up against the refrigerator, trying to convince her to shed her skirt and blouse.

Rachael started squealing before Kelly even laid a hand on her, sensing she was coming after her. She crossed her arms, in a feeble attempt to keep the determined blonde from touching her black blouse.

Kelly got right in Rachael's face, holding the short brunette's arms where they crossed, up against her chest.

"Don't be so shy" she whispered. "It's bra and panty time."

Kelly reached down with her free hand, loosening Rachael's black belt, and sliding the gray skirt down over the whimpering host's curvy thighs.

The pleated skirt fell to the floor rather easily. It was almost as if Rachael wanted it that way. The cuddly brunette may have been squealing cries of protest, but she wasn't putting up much of a fight.

Rachael was backed up against the fridge in her black satin panties, while Kelly encouraged her to loosen up.

"See? That wasn't so bad."

The aggressive blonde even strummed the back of her delicate fingers up against Rachael's crotch, inducing another high-pitched shrill from the hesitant hostess.

"Oooh Satin!" Kelly teased. "Nice!"

Though Rachael looked awesome in her undies, showing plenty of skin with her thick milky white thighs, Kelly Ripa wasn't satisfied yet. It wasn't a true B & P special as long as Rachael was still wearing her short-sleeved button down shirt.

Kelly reached for Rachael's black top, tugging on the collar. The defiant brunette wasn't willing to be stripped any further and started to fight back clawing at Kelly's head and shoulders, to keep the mischievous blonde at bay.

As Kelly was trying to unbutton the black blouse, Rachael hooked her finger on Kelly's pink bra strap, tugging and stretching it out until the skimpy bra tore apart. Rachael ended up with a handful of Kelly's tattered pink bra, as the topless beauty backed away, covering up, shocked by the sudden turn of events.

The audience howled with excitement, getting a glimpse of Kelly's small but firm breasts. They were happy to see the cooking show host fight back.

Kelly stood there for a moment in her skimpy pink panties, looking around, stunned by Rachael's aggressive move. She didn't think the chubby brunette had it in her. Her focus turned back to her panting

friend.

"Oh you're going to pay for THAT!"

Kelly attacked the chubby host, clutching the black top by the collar, as buttons started popping off one by one. It wasn't long before Rachael's top was gone. She was hunched over against the kitchen counter, covering up, exposing her half-naked body.

Rachael looked pretty hot in her matching black bra and panties, showing plenty of skin with a small roll of baby fat and some fleshy thighs on her short curvy frame.

Kelly flashed a devilish grin as she approached the beautiful host.

"Nice outfit, Raytch. I told you it would liven things up. But we're not quite even."

The skinny blonde began chasing the chubby brunette around the food-filled counter in their skimpy undies. Kelly had her sights set on Rachael's black bra, hoping to give everyone a good look at her titties.

She was close to catching her, reaching out and getting a hold of Rachael's bra strap. She pulled on it, slowing down the screaming brunette. Rachael reached fot the coconut cream pie, and turned letting Kelly have it, stopping her in her tracks with a pie in the face.

Kelly came to an abrupt halt, fer face completely covered with the sticky white cream. She licked her lips and cleared her eyes, as chunks of the pie fell piece by piece, some landing on her bare breasts.

Rachael was frozen, almost apologetic about what she did to her friend. She waited quietly for Kelly's reaction. The bubbly blonde was a pretty good sport about it, scooping some of it off her cheek and having a taste.

"Mmmm....coconut!"

She made light of the embarrassing situation, going for a quick laugh. She turned her attention to Rachael, looking to retaliate.

"You know what goes with coconut?" she asked, reaching onto the table.

"Chocolate!!"

Kelly grabbed the bottle of chocolate syrup and started pouring it over Rachael's head, squeezing the bottle with both hands until her feisty friend was covered in the messy goo.

Rachael squinted to see, with streams of liquid chocolate running down her face. She started giggling at the big mess they had made, before both women made quick grab for whatever they could get their hands on. It was turning into a free-for-all food fight with plenty of ammunition on the table. Rachael grabbed the bottle of maple syrup, while Kelly got ahold of the can of whipped cream.

Rachael started emptying the bottle of syrup over Kelly's head, giggling as waves of the sticky liquid began to wash away some of the creamy coconut pie facial.

The giggling suddenly turned into a piercing shriek as Kelly pulled on the waistband of Rachael's black satin panties, filling them with fluffy white Redi-Whip cream. Kelly sprayed another glop of whipped cream on Rachael's nose, before setting the can back on the table.

Rachael stood there pouting with her legs spread slightly, while covered with the sticky mess. Kelly kept going, reaching over and rubbing Rachael's crotch, rubbing her pussy, watching as the white cream began oozing out of the black panties.

"Stop it! Kelly! NO!!"

Rachael was begging for Kelly to stop. The vigorous pussy rubbing was getting to the smiley star, who seemed to be wilting more from pleasure than pain.

Kelly loved putting Rachael on the spot like this, rubbing her harder, seeing how much the cherubic brunette could take. Sloshing sounds were coming from Rachael's moist crotch as Kelly was practically fingering her cream-filled pussy through the soggy silk panties.

While Rachael struggled to keep her feet, leaning back against the kitchen counter, Kelly reached for the bottle of caramel syrup. She poured herself a handful of the thick topping and slipped it inside of Rachael's panties. She began rubbing it into the sobbing brunette's messy snatch, as Rachael winced from the gooey intrusion.

Kelly was winning this kinky food fight, but she wasn't finished. She grabbed the banana cream pie and held it out, ready to add it to the mix. She tugged on Rachael's black bra, mashing the pie against her chest, coating her pear-shaped boobs with the creamy dessert.

Rachael collapsed to the floor, as much from humiliation as fatigue, giving in to Kelly's sexy B & P special. She started to crawl away and hide, trying to sneak behind the counter. Kelly bent over to stop her, spanking Rachael's nice round ass.

"Where do you think you're going?" the messy, topless blonde asked playfully.

"We're not done yet."

Kelly pulled Rachael's undies back, exposing her plump butt, giving her another light crack on her bare ass, before pulling the slimy black panties completely off.

"No! What are you doing?" Rachael whimpered with humiliation. "You win."

Kelly couldn't pass up on the chance for more messy fun at the expense of the chirpy cooking host. She grabbed the bowl of cherries, pouring the juice over Rachael's bare bottom, making sure a small stream ran down the crack of her ass.

Rachael bucked as the cool liquid trickled over her sensitive anus. Kelly held her in place, holding the back of her neck with one hand, while massaging her glistening, voluptuous ass with the other.

"Oooh! What a nice little pooper!" Kelly teased in her annoying baby voice.

She looked back at the audience for confirmation.

"Doesn't Rachael have a cute pooper?"

She ran her down Rachael's crack, massaging her wet and messy vagina with her fingers while poking at her dark brown hole with her thumb.

"AAAHHH!! NOOO!!!!"

Rachael stiffened up and screamed at the anal intrusion, begging for Kelly to stop. But everyone knew where this was going.

Kelly picked a long-stemmed cherry from the dish and carefully inserted it into Rachael's tight butthole. The defiant brunette wiggled her big juicy ass, trying to stop it, but Kelly forced the bright red fruit until it popped inside, devouring it except for the stem.

A hush fell over the crowd as this playful food fight had evolved into some kinky anal play. The silence was interrupted by a sweeping gasg from everybody as the bright red cherry reappeared in Kelly's hand. The sexy slimy blonde finished off the show's "sexy fun with food" segment by feeding Rachael the newly marinated cherry.