All Comments on 'Center of Attention: The First Game'

Love your imagination and attention to detail. It's perfect that you sketch the characters as types without much detail. I found myself filling in the specifics, often with friends I enjoy fantasizing about.

Well done. As a guide for how play happens it is informative. As a story it is potentially too slow with that number of couples, in my opinion. Conversations and mentions of clean up are so rare in lit that it felt realistic and very welcome to me. Keep writing, this is a great price!

Read it again and loved it even more! I hope there's a sequel or update. In that spirit, a few thoughts: First a nitpick, but one that finishes in praise. I found it jarring both times when Fred says there will only be full intercourse between couples, but at the start of round two Bill goes balls deep into Susie as the sub. Soon its clear that everybody in the group fucks Susie's brains out. She takes each guy's dick multiple times in missionary, doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and even up the ass. Two guys get the pleasure of having her come on their cocks (not her husband, ironically). She and the women trade oral and fingering, often to orgasm. I assume "full intercourse" is meant to signify penetrative sex to ejaculation, but I think any observer would say Susie adds three men and three women to her body count, and they her. (It's notoriously difficult to define what "full intercourse" is between two women, but oral to climax has to count! Plus Elaine enters her pussy to the hilt with a strap on.) All that activity is hot AF and also makes me think of another opportunity. You do a great job of anchoring the story in reality when you bring up mundane things like allowing for delivery delays and even more when you name the things people worry about. Two of the women being unsure about pussy licking and the guys wanting to avoid same sex contact makes it feel real. So how about people's reactions to seeing their spouses fuck and go down on others (mostly Susie)? In real life, it's a fantasy for some and a nightmare for others. For many it's a combo of curiosity, desire, and fear. So I love when Fred asks if Susie's ready for the pain before they leave home, and she says it makes her both nervous and excited. Then in my imagination she asks him in turn how he feels about seeing her take all the dick and pussy she's likely to get. He could say something similar -- scary/exciting, knows the jealousy will bring pain but thinks it'll be even more arousing. Then I'd love to hear what's in his mind when he sees her splayed on the table or the first time one of his friends pounds her pussy with his hard dick. For the women, in the same way that several express nervousness about licking her, might they also say they don't know if they want to see their husbands fuck her? Maybe one of the guys hesitates with his dick at her entrance and makes eye contact with his wife, who decides to nod encouragement or mouth "fuck her, babe." One last thought: maybe after Penny lubes her husband's cock she's hit with the reality he's going to fuck Susie's ass. So she asks for a time out. They step out to talk for a minute, and when they come back she's all in (even licking Susie to climax on his dick). Then maybe in the debrief the next week they say that during the timeout she'd complained that they'd never done anal, and he promised to fuck her ass at the first opportunity. Anyway, my point is to show your story got my imagination going and to encourage you to give us more.

Great story, sexy and exciting...